He's leaving

My best friend, my dance partner, the love of my life. . .

My heart shattered when he broke the news to me. I found it difficult to breath as if he'd just shot me in the leg and told me not bleed.

"Glitch I'm going to a new dance program I get to go to Japan," Mo informed me excitedly.

". . . oh. . . c-congrats Momo. A-and when does this program begin?"

"In six months."

". . ."

I hung up. What else was I suppose to say?

"No Mo don't leave, you have to stay where I can hold you back, stunt your growth, kill your dreams, keep the world from the wonderful person I've come know. . ."

I-I can't. . .P-please please Momo don't leave I can't live knowing that your somewhere else bringing joy to everyone around you except me. . Me your G, your prodigy, your best friend.

No no is that all you see me as.. We- we're so much more

I've been in denial for so many years now. Please please. . .Don't leave.

I'm so selfish, so stupid, so so. . .

Isolated. You're the only person who has ever broken through my wall, my mountain, my barrier.

Now you've left me vulnerable, and defenseless.

I'll be. . .pitied. You know how much I hate that! I want you gone out of my life. . . I-I wish you never told me you were leaving. . .

But if you didn't I would have waited, I would have waited for ever, like an idiot.

Can we. . . can we. . .We can, we can be just like them, from the cliché movies, just like them.

We'll chat, text, call, Skype. . . . No we can't it's not the same, it'll never be the same.

I can't hug you, feel your arm around me, feel you presents, feel you beautiful smile that'll make my day.

I want to spend all the remaining days that I have with you, but. . . I can't, I can't ruin you last few days n-no months (that's how long it'll feel like to me) I can't spend them with you. I can't ruin them with my presence.

I want to die. End it. But you'll miss me. . . they all will. Please don't leave, d-don't tell me you love me then kiss MacCoy, don't give me a diamond ring then turn around and give Bodie your most prized possession, don't give me the world and expect me to not (in time) want to repay you, to rely on you, to, to. . . love you.

I can't eat.

I can't sleep.

Heck I can't even dance.

Your not even gone and I already miss you

I knew that letting people in would only leave me broken and crushed.

My aunt died.

My dad left me at the age of 2.

My friends always left.

I still have my mom, but still couldn't give less that a fuck about me.

You, I'm your toy, your china doll, I kept me in my tiny glass case where everyone could see me but never interact with or touch me. You've put more and more chains around me with every single passing moment, the chains I put around my self so that nobody gets in. Every day you'd put me on a higher self, isolating me more and more so at one point I could see nobody and no one could see me, but only you. Then you dropped me. You dropped me from the highest shelf and broke me, you broke my barrier and walked away as if you hadn't just killed mentally and physically.

Please don't leave me.

Everyday I put on my façade, the most fake one I've ever seen in my life. But why should I be talking, why should I call myself fake?

I could point to the most pretty girl in the school and see cuts on her wrist.

I could kiss the ugliest girl in school and she'll walk around saying she kissed a jock.

People are stupid and gullible.

"Hey lil G how's it goin'?"

"Oh, hey Bodie."

Your dad is a drug addict and would beat both you and your mom every night. Your mom wasn't any better taking her anger out on you then leaving you at you aunt and uncle's house, who's lives would have been a lot better without fighting for custody over you and paying for a growing boy.

"Yo Glitch you up for a little one on one!"

"No thanks MacCoy, maybe later."

You parents hated that you fell in live with dancing and took you on a "trip" to America and left you there. You lived on the street for months and soon an old women let you in. You got too attacked to her, and she died leaving you heart-broken.

"Hey Oblio."

-nods-

Do I even need to recite the tale of the emo boy with "daddy issues." Ha if you can't already the cracks in that mirror your blind.

If you can't hear the skips in the record your deaf.

If you can't feel wrinkles covers then. . . then you've been burned too much. . . like me.

Momo, p-please you love me don't you?

I don't care what people say as long as your with me. I don't care that my mom hates me, you give me all the love that I need. I don't care that no one (not even myself) with ever know the true me will ever love the true me, as long as I have you know that you accept me. . . . .

I will smile, I will always smile, just knowing that I'll see you everyday.

Your leaving.

Your leaving.

Why can't I cope with that why can't I accept that I'll rarely ever see you, touch you, feel you. .

I'll never be able to connect with you on the same level again knowing that you could leave me at any second, knowing that you could replace me, forget me

"G, G wake up!"

Your voice it sounds so beautiful so smooth, like chocolate.

"Heh. . . .hi Mo."

I'm so weak.

"Where is it?"

Your eyes they're so pretty like green apples drizzled with caramel frosting.

"Heh. . . Where is what?"

My voice is so raspy. . . I-I can't breath.

"Yo inhaler, where is it?!"

Even when your yelling at me... You so

"G, I said where th' hell is your inhaler?!"

He's touching my face (tapping his face to keep him awake).

"Another asthma attack, I'd be dead if it weren't for you, but this tim a bitter ending. . . eh Momo."

I could barely force out that sentence before I fell into a deep sleep. One that I hope to never walk up from.

"He'll be back G."

"He's not leaving you forever."

"You can always write him."

Don't you think that you're being a little selfish."

He will be back, but who's to say that he'll be my Mo that one that I fell in love with? Who's to say that he'll still want to be my dance partner?

I'm stupid right?

Why does it smell like this; like Mo. He's here holding my hand and I'm in. . . a hospital bed?

His head is on the bed.

"G?! Your okay lil man, oh Mo's gonna love this, I know how much you hate hospitals, we'll get you outta here as soon as possible."

You're not him. There are bags under your eyes you haven't slept in days possibly weeks.

"Where is Mo?"

Bodie you idiot you're not the first thing I wanted to see when I woke up.

"H-he left a bit early. . ."

That. . . You wimp at least look me in the eye when you talk to me.

"He-h left four months early."

"Yeah he wanted me to give you this."

It's crumpled, he obviously didn't spend too much time on this.

Glitch,

I know how upset you were that I had to leave and I read your letter that you wrote for me. I'm so sorry, I never knew you felt that way. But, I want you to know that I feel that same way and when I get back-

I crumpled it up. It was of no used to me. I know now why he's leaving.