A/N: Welcome the most twisted of twisted fics that can ever be
created!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is completely random and
meant for humor.....so enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!! Be Prepared….this fanfic is chock
full of celebrity cameos, total hilarity…and a poor 15 year old mime.
You've been warned…any and all celebrity names are not meant for
slandering, they are just there for comedic purposes, and are property of
whoever the hell owns them. So ummm…yeah. Please review, this is my FIRST
EVER humor fic. ^_^ enjoy everybody!!!
1 Our Own Summer(Total Randomness!!!)
Chapter 1 – A girl, a mime, and a horny man(there's a plot in here somewhere!)
This takes place in some strange, twisted alternate universe....lemme catch you up on the facts...
Ash, fed up with his losses year after year in tournaments, only to hope that next season maybe, just MAYBE writers will cut him a break, has given up on training, gave Pikachu to his mom for awhile, and went off to become...a professional Mime.
Misty is now 17....that's about it. She's same old Zero-style wisea** Misty. ^_^ no ifs ands or buts about it.
Brock is just about ready to give up....and wants to be.....a male dancer? @_@
More silliness ensues...we join our heros in...the Ketchum household!!!!
Delia: (fixing Breakfast) morning!!!
Misty: (groans)
Ash: (silent)
Delia: Ash honey, are you okay?
Ash: (nods)
Misty: Ash is above talking now. He's a....a....a...(DUN DUN DUNNN!!!)......mime.
Delia: (shocked look) SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!
Ash: (holds up finger)
Delia: Huh?
Misty: Hooo boy....
Ash begins to make a bunch of intricate motions.....but none of them make sense.
Ash: (draws a box in the air).....
Misty: Box....?
Ash: (shrugs)
Misty: (whack) THERE'S a charade for ya....baka.
Ash: (rubs head and winces)
Delia: MY POOR LITTLE BOY!!!!!(sobs and goes to hug Ash)
Ash: (miming a wall)
Misty: He won't listen....say Ash, we're gonna hang out all summer together, whaddya say we go have some fun?
Ash: (looks at her quizzically)
Misty: Ya know, fun? Oh yeah, forgot…it's against the law for mimes to have fun or something…
Ash: (glares at her)………………
At this point Brock storms in....
Brock: I've HAD IT!!! I HATE GIRLS!!!! I CAN NEVER BE WITH ANY OF THEM!!!!
Misty: Finally....you realize reality....
Delia: What happened, Brock?
Brock began to weave a tail of sadness and despair....but all Misty could make of it was....
*****Misty's mind*****
Brock: So basically, I tried my smoothest lines to get her in bed and it just didn't work, so now I act heartbroken so everybody at least THINKS I'm a nice guy....and yeah. She had a really nice set of...
**********************
Misty: (shakes head violently) ggh.
Delia: (looks at her) something wrong?
Misty: Yeah...I can understand what Brock says at times....scary. _
Delia: Oh well...Ash, how do you want your eggs?
Ash: ?!!?
Misty: Hey, mime-boy...(pokes Ash) You have to speak, or else you get them SCRAMBLED...and you HATE scrambled eggs...don't you?
Ash: (sweatdrop)
Delia: Ash, if you don't talk to me then I guess I'll just hafta scramble them, honey!
Ash: !!!!!! (tears welling up at sides of eyes)
Ash looked at Misty. Misty smirked. Brock was sobbing into a napkin, that was very much torn apart by now, and Delia hummed the battle theme from Pokemon Silver to herself as she made the eggs. Ash watched in horror as he saw her spatula....in slow motion....almost Matrix-Style....reach towards the yolk....and....
Misty: Ash...better tell her....
Ash: _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (crying anime tears)
Delia: (breaks the yolk in real-time) oh well, scrambled it is....!
Misty: Way to keep your big mouth shut...baka. (whacks Ash and sits down)
Ash: ¬_¬
Delia: So, Ash...Misty...what're you two gonna do today?
Misty: I dunno...I wish I could communicate with Ash right about now....but all he understands is....
Ash: ?
Misty: (flips him off)
Ash: _
Misty: See?
Delia: Misty, be nice to him...he IS the worst possible thing that can happen to a human being on this earth...
Ash: ¬_¬ @ Delia
Misty: Yeah, life must really suck as a mime....
Brock: (singing) Nobody knows...the troubles I've seen....
Delia: Hm? (looks at Brock)
Brock: (crying) Nobody knows my sorrow!!!!!!!!!! T_T
Misty: Come off it!!!!!
***Meanwhile!!!***
Man in the Yellow Hat: Sir, the plans for the subways are here!
Giovanni: Perfect, bring them to me!! MWAHAHAH!!
Man: Ummm...mister mayor...you're the mayor of New York City, not Saddam Hussein.
Giovanni: Oh....yeah.
Man: Never mind...anything I can do for you, Mister Mayor?
Giovanni: Hmm...I desire................a poppy bagel, and a Starbucks Doubleshot!!! (snaps fingers) Chop chop!!
Man: Yessir!! (leaves)
Giovanni: Hmmmmmm...(looks at the tag on his desk w/his name on it)...spiffy! (spins around in chair) WHEEEEEEE!!!!!
Secretary: Ummm..sir?
Giovanni: (falls out of chair) OOF!!!!!!!
Secretary: ¬_¬
*****elsewhere!*****
Misty is walking around with Ash, just wandering the town, when they run into two familiar figures.
Misty: Who the hezie are you two?
Jay: Heyyyyyyy!!!! It's a chiiii-caaa!!!
Silent Bob: (nods)
Ash: !!!!! ^_^ (hugs Silent Bob)
Silent Bob: ?
Jay: Hey, lunchbox, check out da babe!!
Misty: (sweatdrop)
Ash: (mimes a wall)
Silent Bob: (knocks on it)
Ash: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^ (big smile)
Silent Bob: ?
Jay: HEY!!! (whacks Bob) You're not here to loop around with this weird kid that doesn't talk, mannnnnnn! We got convenience stores to hang out near!!
Misty: Hey....he understands what Ash is saying!!!
Jay: No he doesn't...and he CAN talk ya know!!!! He has all the time in the world for that stupid Chasing Amy story, but he can't even speak more than two words any other time!!!!! It's stupid!
Silent Bob: (whacks Jay where it hurts)
Jay: _!!!!
Misty: Ummm...we gotta get going...see ya......(grabs Ash) MOVE IT!!! (runs)
Ash: (waving bye bye to Silent Bob with a tear in his eye)
Silent Bob: (wipes a tear away and smiles, then picks up Jay and carries him to a Stop N Shop)
****************
The location? K-Mart!!!!!!!
Jesse: Attention K-Mart shoppers!!! We have a blue light special in the ladies maternity wear section!!
James: (standing next to hear wearing a frilly nightgown) Yes, so get it while it lasts!!!!! Ah-hahahaha....
Jesse: (looks down and sweatdrops) this is so pointless...
James: But the frills, they bring out my eyes!!!
Jesse: NOT YOUR CLOTHES, you MORON!!! (whacks him)
James: Ow!
Meowth: (handing out samples at the foodcourt) Hey, you KNOW you wanna try this chicken teriyaki!!! (people walk past) HEY!!!! YOU DON'T APPRECIATE GOOD FOOD IF IT HIT YOU IN THE FACE!!! SEE?!?! (throws a piece right in somebody's face) TOLD YOU!!! (gets kicked in the face by a customer)...ow....
Jesse: So what do we do now...?
James: I don't know, but if we had about 200 more G's, I could get an operation that would make this outfit less embarassing...
Jesse: ...................
James: What? What did I say?
Jesse: I'd rather not think about it....
James: Hmmmm...well, what does EVERYBODY without any real talent do to become a star?
Jesse: hmmmm...
They both think until they both hear two lightbulbs break at the same time...
Jesse: I KNOW!!! We can become pop-stars!!!
Lou Pearlman: Did somebody say pop?
James: Hey!!!! It's that fat guy who manages all those horrid poppy boy bands and groups!!!!
Lou: Yeah, that's me!
Jesse: But...everybody who you manage collapses or fires you....
Lou: Those sniveling freaks wouldn't know talent if it hit them in the face!!! And YOU two!!!! Are oozing with talent!!!
James: Really? So THAT'S what I've been smelling...
Lou: No, I just farted....
James: Oh.
Lou: Guys....let's make you two into stars!!!
James: But what about Meowth?!
Meowth: (flying through the air) YAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH (SMACK!!! into a wall).....ow.
Jesse: Another fun day of Customer Service, Meowth?
Meowth: (weakly) Service with a broken smile....heeee....
Lou: Who's this?
James: Our 3rd. Meowth.
Meowth: Emphasis on the "ow" part...oiy....
And lo, our heroes began their journey of insanity….
Misty: We gotta find some fun stuff to do for this summer, you guys…
Ash: (trying to pull an imaginary safe on a rope with him)
Misty: (trips him)
Ash: (falls) _!
Brock: (sniffling) I don't care anymore!!
Misty: Just think…adventure, mischief…love…
Brock: (Cries like a little girl)
Ash: (cries cuz he fell flat on his nose)
Misty: C'mon guys!!!
End of Chapter 1….and yes, I AM on something and can't figure out what it is….
1 Our Own Summer(Total Randomness!!!)
Chapter 1 – A girl, a mime, and a horny man(there's a plot in here somewhere!)
This takes place in some strange, twisted alternate universe....lemme catch you up on the facts...
Ash, fed up with his losses year after year in tournaments, only to hope that next season maybe, just MAYBE writers will cut him a break, has given up on training, gave Pikachu to his mom for awhile, and went off to become...a professional Mime.
Misty is now 17....that's about it. She's same old Zero-style wisea** Misty. ^_^ no ifs ands or buts about it.
Brock is just about ready to give up....and wants to be.....a male dancer? @_@
More silliness ensues...we join our heros in...the Ketchum household!!!!
Delia: (fixing Breakfast) morning!!!
Misty: (groans)
Ash: (silent)
Delia: Ash honey, are you okay?
Ash: (nods)
Misty: Ash is above talking now. He's a....a....a...(DUN DUN DUNNN!!!)......mime.
Delia: (shocked look) SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!
Ash: (holds up finger)
Delia: Huh?
Misty: Hooo boy....
Ash begins to make a bunch of intricate motions.....but none of them make sense.
Ash: (draws a box in the air).....
Misty: Box....?
Ash: (shrugs)
Misty: (whack) THERE'S a charade for ya....baka.
Ash: (rubs head and winces)
Delia: MY POOR LITTLE BOY!!!!!(sobs and goes to hug Ash)
Ash: (miming a wall)
Misty: He won't listen....say Ash, we're gonna hang out all summer together, whaddya say we go have some fun?
Ash: (looks at her quizzically)
Misty: Ya know, fun? Oh yeah, forgot…it's against the law for mimes to have fun or something…
Ash: (glares at her)………………
At this point Brock storms in....
Brock: I've HAD IT!!! I HATE GIRLS!!!! I CAN NEVER BE WITH ANY OF THEM!!!!
Misty: Finally....you realize reality....
Delia: What happened, Brock?
Brock began to weave a tail of sadness and despair....but all Misty could make of it was....
*****Misty's mind*****
Brock: So basically, I tried my smoothest lines to get her in bed and it just didn't work, so now I act heartbroken so everybody at least THINKS I'm a nice guy....and yeah. She had a really nice set of...
**********************
Misty: (shakes head violently) ggh.
Delia: (looks at her) something wrong?
Misty: Yeah...I can understand what Brock says at times....scary. _
Delia: Oh well...Ash, how do you want your eggs?
Ash: ?!!?
Misty: Hey, mime-boy...(pokes Ash) You have to speak, or else you get them SCRAMBLED...and you HATE scrambled eggs...don't you?
Ash: (sweatdrop)
Delia: Ash, if you don't talk to me then I guess I'll just hafta scramble them, honey!
Ash: !!!!!! (tears welling up at sides of eyes)
Ash looked at Misty. Misty smirked. Brock was sobbing into a napkin, that was very much torn apart by now, and Delia hummed the battle theme from Pokemon Silver to herself as she made the eggs. Ash watched in horror as he saw her spatula....in slow motion....almost Matrix-Style....reach towards the yolk....and....
Misty: Ash...better tell her....
Ash: _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (crying anime tears)
Delia: (breaks the yolk in real-time) oh well, scrambled it is....!
Misty: Way to keep your big mouth shut...baka. (whacks Ash and sits down)
Ash: ¬_¬
Delia: So, Ash...Misty...what're you two gonna do today?
Misty: I dunno...I wish I could communicate with Ash right about now....but all he understands is....
Ash: ?
Misty: (flips him off)
Ash: _
Misty: See?
Delia: Misty, be nice to him...he IS the worst possible thing that can happen to a human being on this earth...
Ash: ¬_¬ @ Delia
Misty: Yeah, life must really suck as a mime....
Brock: (singing) Nobody knows...the troubles I've seen....
Delia: Hm? (looks at Brock)
Brock: (crying) Nobody knows my sorrow!!!!!!!!!! T_T
Misty: Come off it!!!!!
***Meanwhile!!!***
Man in the Yellow Hat: Sir, the plans for the subways are here!
Giovanni: Perfect, bring them to me!! MWAHAHAH!!
Man: Ummm...mister mayor...you're the mayor of New York City, not Saddam Hussein.
Giovanni: Oh....yeah.
Man: Never mind...anything I can do for you, Mister Mayor?
Giovanni: Hmm...I desire................a poppy bagel, and a Starbucks Doubleshot!!! (snaps fingers) Chop chop!!
Man: Yessir!! (leaves)
Giovanni: Hmmmmmm...(looks at the tag on his desk w/his name on it)...spiffy! (spins around in chair) WHEEEEEEE!!!!!
Secretary: Ummm..sir?
Giovanni: (falls out of chair) OOF!!!!!!!
Secretary: ¬_¬
*****elsewhere!*****
Misty is walking around with Ash, just wandering the town, when they run into two familiar figures.
Misty: Who the hezie are you two?
Jay: Heyyyyyyy!!!! It's a chiiii-caaa!!!
Silent Bob: (nods)
Ash: !!!!! ^_^ (hugs Silent Bob)
Silent Bob: ?
Jay: Hey, lunchbox, check out da babe!!
Misty: (sweatdrop)
Ash: (mimes a wall)
Silent Bob: (knocks on it)
Ash: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^ (big smile)
Silent Bob: ?
Jay: HEY!!! (whacks Bob) You're not here to loop around with this weird kid that doesn't talk, mannnnnnn! We got convenience stores to hang out near!!
Misty: Hey....he understands what Ash is saying!!!
Jay: No he doesn't...and he CAN talk ya know!!!! He has all the time in the world for that stupid Chasing Amy story, but he can't even speak more than two words any other time!!!!! It's stupid!
Silent Bob: (whacks Jay where it hurts)
Jay: _!!!!
Misty: Ummm...we gotta get going...see ya......(grabs Ash) MOVE IT!!! (runs)
Ash: (waving bye bye to Silent Bob with a tear in his eye)
Silent Bob: (wipes a tear away and smiles, then picks up Jay and carries him to a Stop N Shop)
****************
The location? K-Mart!!!!!!!
Jesse: Attention K-Mart shoppers!!! We have a blue light special in the ladies maternity wear section!!
James: (standing next to hear wearing a frilly nightgown) Yes, so get it while it lasts!!!!! Ah-hahahaha....
Jesse: (looks down and sweatdrops) this is so pointless...
James: But the frills, they bring out my eyes!!!
Jesse: NOT YOUR CLOTHES, you MORON!!! (whacks him)
James: Ow!
Meowth: (handing out samples at the foodcourt) Hey, you KNOW you wanna try this chicken teriyaki!!! (people walk past) HEY!!!! YOU DON'T APPRECIATE GOOD FOOD IF IT HIT YOU IN THE FACE!!! SEE?!?! (throws a piece right in somebody's face) TOLD YOU!!! (gets kicked in the face by a customer)...ow....
Jesse: So what do we do now...?
James: I don't know, but if we had about 200 more G's, I could get an operation that would make this outfit less embarassing...
Jesse: ...................
James: What? What did I say?
Jesse: I'd rather not think about it....
James: Hmmmm...well, what does EVERYBODY without any real talent do to become a star?
Jesse: hmmmm...
They both think until they both hear two lightbulbs break at the same time...
Jesse: I KNOW!!! We can become pop-stars!!!
Lou Pearlman: Did somebody say pop?
James: Hey!!!! It's that fat guy who manages all those horrid poppy boy bands and groups!!!!
Lou: Yeah, that's me!
Jesse: But...everybody who you manage collapses or fires you....
Lou: Those sniveling freaks wouldn't know talent if it hit them in the face!!! And YOU two!!!! Are oozing with talent!!!
James: Really? So THAT'S what I've been smelling...
Lou: No, I just farted....
James: Oh.
Lou: Guys....let's make you two into stars!!!
James: But what about Meowth?!
Meowth: (flying through the air) YAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH (SMACK!!! into a wall).....ow.
Jesse: Another fun day of Customer Service, Meowth?
Meowth: (weakly) Service with a broken smile....heeee....
Lou: Who's this?
James: Our 3rd. Meowth.
Meowth: Emphasis on the "ow" part...oiy....
And lo, our heroes began their journey of insanity….
Misty: We gotta find some fun stuff to do for this summer, you guys…
Ash: (trying to pull an imaginary safe on a rope with him)
Misty: (trips him)
Ash: (falls) _!
Brock: (sniffling) I don't care anymore!!
Misty: Just think…adventure, mischief…love…
Brock: (Cries like a little girl)
Ash: (cries cuz he fell flat on his nose)
Misty: C'mon guys!!!
End of Chapter 1….and yes, I AM on something and can't figure out what it is….