I'm walking along the Pier, surrounded by what used to be the marsh. They're releasing the dams holding the water back so it's slowly been filling. Another change from what I've always known.
I told Zeke I would meet him down here. We haven't really talked in forever so we're going to get lunch. These mundane tasks are so weird to me. It still feels new and unknown, even though the city itself hasn't changed all that much.
There are more people though. I pass by plenty as I walk the length of the Pier. All wearing different colors of clothing. That's the new thing. I'm supposed to be adjusting but I find myself wearing black more often than not. Jeans are the only thing I have started wearing that don't fit that code. I'm sure other people notice but I can't bring myself to care. I'm not the only one. I'm fairly sure Zeke will be wearing mostly black as well.
I reach the restaurant and walk in. I see Zeke at a table by the window. He waves me over and I sit down across from him.
"Hey man, how's it going?" hey says.
I shrug. "Same as always. What about you?"
"Really good. I wanted to tell you something. I need your opinion something and on whether or not you think I'm an idiot."
"You're always and idiot," I laugh. "I'll keep an open mind though. What is it?"
He pauses and then smiles a little bit. "I think I'm going to ask Shauna to marry me."
"Really?" I ask. "Wow, that's great. That's probably one of the smartest things you've done. I can tell you guys really love each other."
A memory pulls at my heart. Tris. Can I go a day without being reminded of her? Especially now, with Zeke announcing this news to me, I can't help but be jealous. Jealous of what he has and what I never will.
"That means a lot, Four. Really," he says seriously.
I smile. "I'm really happy for you guys."
"Thanks. So—"
"Excuse me?" a voice says, interrupting Zeke. Both of us look over to see a tall, dark haired woman, probably in her late twenties or early thirties, standing by our table and looking straight at me.
"Uh, yes?" I say.
She turns away and I think she's going to leave but then she grabs a chair from an empty table near by, pulls it up by ours, and sits down.
"What are you—" Zeke starts, obviously just as confused as I am.
"This is going to sound crazy. You may not believe me but just hear me out, okay?" she says, ignoring Zeke like he isn't even there.
"Just get on with it," I say.
"Have you ever heard of a medium?"
"No."
She sighs. "Okay, well, a medium is someone who can connect with those who have crossed over. I'm a medium."
"Okay…" I say, skeptical. "So, what does this have to do with me?"
"Spirits step forward when their loved ones are near. I am like a mouth piece for those spirits to the living world. A loved one of yours has stepped forward."
No. No, she's wrong. When people die, they're gone. Gone forever. This can't be real.
She doesn't wait for me to respond. "I'm getting the feeling that this person was very important to you. This person passed in a very violent way, am I right?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," I reply.
She sighs. "I know this can be very hard to believe. Just, humor me, this spirit is a stubborn one and she's not going to let me just walk away from you."
My chest is getting tight and it's hard to breathe. "Fine."
"What was her name?"
I swallow. "Tris."
"How long ago did she pass?"
"Six months ago."
"She wants me to tell you that she didn't want to leave you. She never wanted to leave you."
I can feel the tears prickling behind my eyes. I hold them back. "I already know that," I say quietly. Caleb told me. That's the only explanation that asshole could give me. I do my best to avoid him now, for many reasons.
She nods. "She wants you to know how much she loves you. She says without you, she would never have survived as long as she had."
A hot tear drips down my cheek without my permission. I can't control it. All I'm thinking is Tris.
"Do the numbers four and six ring a bell to you?"
I can't speak, I just nod.
"She laughed. She said how funny it was that fears used to be so important. How they could define you."
I let out a shaky laugh, tears now streaming at a constant speed down my face.
"She wants me to remind you of the chasm? I don't know what she means. It's a happy memory."
My breathing picks up and I run a hand through my hair. The first time I kissed her. No one else could no that. No one except for Tris.
I believe her. I believe this woman. Tris is here. Oh God, Tris is here.
The woman smiles. "She misses you."
I can't even look at her anymore. I put my head in my hands. I miss you too, Tris. My heart hurts with how much I miss her.
"I know this is probably hard for you. But just know that she doesn't want you to be hurting. She wants you to know she's okay. She wants you to remember all the good times and how much she loved you."
I feel Zeke lay a hand on my shoulder. I wish I could just talk to Tris. This is as good as I will ever get though. But, it's more than I deserve. I look up at the woman, my vision blurry.
"Thank you. I really, really appreciate it."
She gives me a sad smile. "I'm sorry for your loss. Just remember what she told me to tell you. Never forget how much she loved you."
She gets up, pushing her chair back. She smiles at me once more and then she's gone.
Zeke looks like he's about to say something but I cut him off. "I need to go. Can we talk later?"
I don't wait for him to reply. I'm up and out the door. I walk down the Pier even farther until I reach the ferris wheel. I look up and memories flood back. The emptiness in my chest is all I can feel. I miss her so much. Why did she have to die? It's not fair.
I sink down against the ferris wheel until I hit the ground. I don't know how long I sit there, how long until the tears finally stop. But I feel something. Like a presence I didn't realize until now. I just know. I finally know what it is.
It's Tris. She's been here all along.
