'Twas the night before Cristmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring... Save Uryu, who was sewing a blouse.
Zangetsu was hung by the chimney with care, because this year no fat B&E-er would catch Ichigo unaware.
The Soul Reapers were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of paperwork danced in their heads.
And Captain Hitsugaya sacked out for the night, tired of Matsumoto's crap, would be lucky to get even a forty-five minute nap.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, Toushiro drew Hyorinmaru to behead Matsumoto for her chatter.
But away to the window, she flew like a flash, diving outside is what saved her ass.
The moonlight on her breast, because she let too much clevage show, gave Toushiro pause since she stood right below.
When what to their wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and the two did quake with fear.
With a familiar old driver, who was such a big prick, they knew in a moment it wasn't St. Nick.
True enough, it was that jerk they all blamed, and he whistled and shouted, and called them foul names.
"You midget! You bedwetter! White haired and creepy! With a slutty Vice-Captain who belongs right on TV!"
"Yes I beat up Santa, and I stole his sleigh! I'll be down in Malibu by the end of the day!"
And then, in a twinkling, Toushiro heard on the roof, or he would have, if Ichigo hadn't stumbled on his way to the bathroom, that pale haired goof.
Zanpakuto in hand, Toushiro took the stairs in a bound, reaching the living room as Aizen Sosuke dropped down.
He was dressed all in white, from his head to his toe, and Toushiro decided that that one stupid lock of hair had to go.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a wackjob who was hopped up on crack.
His eyes- how they twinkled! His smile- how merry! Toushiro knew in an instant that Aizen had been into the Sherry.
His hair was slicked back, save for one lock, and the more he saw it, the more Toushiro wanted to clean his clock!
With a nasty little grin, he flashed Toushiro his teeth, and that very instant Matsumoto tried to strangle him with a wreath.
Toushiro kicked him in the face, Matsumoto stomped on his belly, but they both stopped when Orihime walked in with a bowlful of jelly.
"You're not Santa!" She gasped, forgetting her snack. "You look like a bum who's been hopped up on crack!"
She continued. "Santa is chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf!" She pointed a finger at Aizen. "You're just some jerk!" That was when Aizen stood up, and hit his head on a shelf.
Matsumoto laughed when she saw that, in spite of herself. In truth, she cared more about beating him, than taking care of her health.
But Aizen, concussion and all, went straight to his work, stealing the stockings! Orihimi pointed. "See? I told you, he's a jerk!"
Aizen gave them the finger, then thumbed his nose, and with a boot from Toushiro, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, gave his team a whistle, while Matsumoto brandished a chair, flinging it like a missile!
Down flew the toy bag, and a large splash of red, for Matsumoto's chair had caught him right in the head!
Though Aizen stayed in the sleigh, and flew out of sight, yelling as he went. "I lost four teeth tonight!"
-
Really too late for Cristmas, I know. But for some reason, the idea popped into my head, starting with the Zangetsu line, and it just snowballed from there.