This is going to be a two-shot, the first one is Kurt's side of the story, and the second is Blaine's.
Enjoy.
Warning: Major character death, angst, tragedy
Chapter One
Blaine loves flowers. His favourite are Forget-me-nots. The name alone is intriguing enough for Blaine, but the colour and shape of the flowers takes Blaine's breath away. The shape of Forget-me-nots are so perfect; each little flower blooming to be the exact same as the one beside it, like little cookie cutter cut outs. And the colour, Blaine's eyes always draws back to those beautiful blue flowers with the delicate golden centres. The blue reminds him of a clear sunny sky, so vast and extending so far that Blaine believes he can do anything; that anything is possible. Blaine loves flowers. And Kurt knows from first-hand experience.
As Blaine moves about the garden in the Andersons' backyard, humming, Kurt smiles softly at his boyfriend; at how much his boyfriend is enjoying himself as he takes care of his flowers. Kurt sips his Diet Coke, flipping through the newest Vogue Magazine under the large patio umbrella. A small bouquet of delicate blue flowers is placed under his nose, and Kurt looks up to see Blaine smiling wide.
"These are for you. They match your eyes wonderfully," Blaine says.
Kurt accepts the beautiful flowers and pecks Blaine on the lips in thanks. Kurt's honestly so thankful to have such a wonderful boyfriend. Simply put, he's head over heels in love with this boy. And Blaine feels the same way right back. The boys had been dating for over 3 months, and spend most of their time attached to the hip of each other. If the New Directions or Warblers were to invite one of them to an outing, they knew by default that both Blaine and Kurt would be invited. Summer especially, makes Kurt and Blaine even more inseparable. Blaine spends so much of his time at Kurt's that Burt considers Blaine his third son. But when Blaine needs to tend to his flower garden, or when his parents are out of town, or both, Kurt would find himself over at Blaine's much bigger, much more luxurious house.
"They're called Forget-me-nots," Blaine continues, taking a seat beside his boyfriend and slips his hand comfortably into Kurt's. "So that you'll never forget me," he whispers, face mere inches away from Kurt's; both of them grinning with mirth.
"I'll never forget you."
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"Element of Surprise!"
Blaine transfers to McKinley at the beginning of their senior year. Kurt is shocked to see Blaine drive up and park right beside his own Navigator, grinning cheekily at his boyfriend, before telling him the news. Kurt launches himself into Blaine's arms and he feels happy; safe. Kurt's heart swells when the thought of walking down hallways holding hands with his boyfriend crosses his mind. The thought of giving goodbye kisses at the doors of classrooms and hello kisses at the doors of lockers. And Kurt's face is painted with a sparkling wide smile. Slushies, bring it on. Kurt Hummel has Blaine Anderson on his side this year.
"Give me your hand." A tan hand slips into porcelain white ones. "Blaine Warbler," – that old nickname never got old with Kurt – "will you… move in with me after graduation?"
Blaine's eyes grow wide, "M-move in? With Burt and Carole?" Blaine and Kurt had planned to apply to NYU together. Was Kurt going to stay in Ohio after all?
"No, no, silly. We'll find an apartment in New York, near NYU, just the two of us. And we'll go hunting for the best coffee shop in that area, and go there on our coffee dates every day, just like at Lima Bean… But - I mean, you don't have to, Blaine, but I think our own personal apartment would beat an old dormitory any day," Kurt reasons, glasz eyes hopeful as he looks through his long lashes at Blaine. Blaine couldn't resist that look, and Kurt knows this. Blaine's grip on his hand grows tighter.
"No, I mean… wow, Kurt. Move in with you…" It's like junior prom all over again. But this is so much bigger, much more important and significant than junior prom. This could shape their future forever. It makes Blaine's heart swell with joy and happiness to know that Kurt is thinking of their future, that Kurt would want to keep him in his future. Kurt is silent, hopeful, watching Blaine think about it, but cracks a small smile, knowing that Blaine would say yes. And, as he had predicted, Blaine nods with a smile, "Yes, Kurt. Yes I'll move in with you after graduation." Kurt squeals in excitement and bounces in his seat a little in joy.
Blaine realizes just how bad at romance he actually is. He tells David and Wes everything. Even after transferring to McKinley, Blaine still relies on his two best friends in Dalton. And after going through his plans for Valentine's Day he has for Kurt, Blaine sees the double facepalms he gets from them at how horrible his plan is. Was staying in his house and marathoning Harry Potter while eating a home cooked meal courtesy of his mother not romantic enough? Blaine even planned to light candles for the full romantic effect.
David and Wes lecture him on how girls love the mushy, cheesy romances, like seen in the movies. And while Kurt was definitely not a girl, Blaine could attest that his taste in romance was quite like one. And with the help of his best friends, Valentine's Day went by without a hitch. Unless getting a hickey on his neck where everyone could see, was considered a hitch, then yes, it went by with many hitches.
"Of course you'd pick these, they're your favourite after all."
"You remembered what my favourite flower is? And why not? Are you not happy with it? Because personally, I think it matches your eyes beautifully."
Blaine looks worriedly at Kurt who laughs, shakes his head, and lets Blaine put on the beautiful Forget-me-not corsage for him. For the second year in a row, Blaine and Kurt go to prom together, and it is beautiful. The school seems to have become more accepting of them throughout the school year, and the prom queen fiasco certainly does not occur again for their senior prom. And at the end of the night, prom night went from beautiful to just perfect.
They make love to each other for the first time that night. Blaine gives Kurt all of himself as Kurt rocks Blaine's body gently, both sinking into pleasure and bliss together. Kurt doesn't give himself to Blaine that night, though. Says he's not ready yet. But they have all the time in the world to take it slow, so Kurt thinks its ok. He misses the slight frown marring Blaine's face for a mere millisecond before Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt's neck and pecks him on the lips. Kurt misses the fact that the kiss was a few centimetres away from the centre of his lips. Misses the heavy weight Blaine feels at the pit of his stomach, wrenching and twisting his insides. But Kurt doesn't know; Blaine reasons. Blaine understands that.
Kurt slaps Blaine hard across the face, tears streaking down his face as he utters a defeated, "Go. Just go."
It's graduation night. It was supposed to be perfect. They were supposed to graduate and start their lives together. Eventually get married, and have kids and run off into the sunset together laughing. But the perfect dream crashes down around Kurt as he hears Blaine's words. Blaine tells Kurt that it's over between them. That he can't handle the commitment. Can't handle how high maintenance he is. At first Kurt doesn't believe what he is hearing from Blaine. He doesn't want to believe it. What did he do wrong? They hardly ever had fights. And Blaine never complained before at how high maintenance he was in the past. Why now? Had Blaine been just putting up with him? When had Blaine started feeling burdened by their relationship?
Blaine swallows thickly, nodding and turns to leave. He doesn't say anything, doesn't make a sound. Because he knows. Knows that if he opens his mouth, everything would just spew out, like verbal vomit. Everything that he planned for weeks and weeks would've gone to waste. And he really cannot afford for that to happen. The stinging pain that came from that hard slap across his face is long forgotten, as he wills his legs to move. To move away from the man of his dreams. Away from the man that he wants to spend his future with. The man that he needs to forget. The man that needs to forget him.
And as Blaine finally leaves the front door of the Hudmel household, face stony and void of emotion, Kurt falls to the floor, wracking in pain-wrenched sobs, unaware of Blaine who does the exact same thing on the other side of the thick wooden door.
Kurt is accepted to NYU as he moves to New York City and into a small apartment with Rachel. After the break up, Kurt loses contact with Blaine. He feels as if, when Blaine left, he took the best of Kurt with him; his trust, his ability to love, his emotions. Rachel gets frustrated with Kurt all the time, tells him that it's just a boy. That if she could leave Finn behind, when she obviously still has feelings for him, then he could leave that scumbag Blaine behind too. Kurt says that it's not that same. That she was the one to break the relationship with Finn, and not the other way around. That Rachel had a legit reason, of following her dreams, and Blaine didn't give one valid reason. That he just couldn't get over it.
Rachel grows more and more worried for her best friend, as days go by. She tries to do all that she can to help Kurt snap out of his post-breakup depression. He goes to classes like a zombie, and hardly ever leaves his and Rachel's apartment for anything else. And, to Rachel's dismay, he makes little to no new friends at the University. Rachel tries to get Kurt out of the apartment occasionally, bribing him with tickets to the latest Broadway hit, or going to see the new line of Marc by Marc Jacobs collection. Rachel invites Kurt to parties and clubs, even offers to pay for his drink. More often than not, it doesn't work. And she can't do anything about it. She doesn't have the power. So one day, she Skypes her dads, tells them everything that happened to Kurt, and asks them for advice. Her dads tell her to bring Kurt over, that they'd try to talk some sense into him. After a few minutes of bribing, throwing things and physically dragging, Rachel gets Kurt to sit in front of her laptop in the living area.
Rachel's dads talk to Kurt. Tells him his life isn't over, just because some boy dumped him. That he needs to move on because whoever would dump someone as amazing and gorgeous as him is missing out; tells him that Blaine doesn't deserve him, that he'll find someone even better. He just needed to get out of his shell and get out there to find the perfect guy. They tell him that there's so much more to live for. That he's in New York City, for goodness sakes! It's where dreams are made from; where anything is possible! Where Kurt – and Rachel – dreamed of living in. They tell him to never give up and to get up and move on. Because he is an amazing young man with good looks, a smart brain, and a talented voice. They tell him that he will get over this, that everything will be ok. Kurt takes all the words to heart. And he understands. After months of wallowing in his misery, he's had enough. And he gets it. He needs to forget about Blaine. Move on.
Months after the talk, Kurt finishes first year with Honours, and finds himself a small role for a new Broadway musical alongside Rachel. He is more himself now, smiles more often, networks with more people, makes solid friendships. He goes out more often, attends more parties and get-togethers, and even tries dating again. Kurt knows that he'd never be able to get over Blaine, but he tries anyways. Tries going on dates. After the 5th first date and zero second date, though, Kurt is frustrated. He ends up comparing each of his dates to Blaine. How he enjoyed Blaine's most bland date better than the one he was currently on. How the boy he's on a date with was nothing like Blaine. How the boy isn't as good as Blaine. How the boy just isn't Blaine…
And so Kurt begins to focus more on his studies and his career instead. Second year flies by quickly, with Kurt being top of the class. He manages to snag an important supporting role for the next Broadway show, and his network of friends has grown to quite an impressive amount. Kurt is finally happy with his life. Of course, he has days where he'd brood the 'what-if's' though. What if he had not met Blaine at all? What if Blaine hadn't broken up with him back then? What if Kurt broke up with Blaine instead? Maybe they'd still be together. Maybe Blaine would've broken up with him in first year. Maybe Kurt would have found someone even better. Maybe he'd be married by now. Maybe.
One day, after a hard day at the studio practicing the songs for the musical, Kurt leaves happy. He can't wait to go home. He and Rachel were going to a club that night with some friends. Throughout the years, Kurt can honestly say that Rachel had grown closer and closer to him. He considers Rachel his best friend, his rival in show business and his ultimate confidant.
Opening the door to get outside onto the busy street, the door suddenly hits something. Or rather someone. And from there, it is like as if time slows down. Like in those dramatic movies. Kurt looks up to apologize, but his eyes are suddenly locked to shocked hazel ones. Those familiar hazel eyes. And Kurt's mind is numb from the sensory overload his eyes are giving him. Blaine looks the same has he did back in high school. But he looks a little less… Blaine. He is thinner than before, cheeks almost too hollow, he has dark bags under his eyes, and his eyes lost the twinkle that had always been there throughout high school; that liveliness, youth, and happiness. But for the most part, Blaine looks the same. Handsome, poised, hair curly and scruffy. He is dressed casually, and is holding a toddler in his arms. Oh. A toddler. The toddler looks no older than 1 year old, and clings to the front of Blaine's shirt. Blaine holds the toddler with strong arms, hands clasped together. And on his hand, Kurt feels nauseous at this, is a simple silver band around his ring finger. And beside him, Kurt finally realizes, is the person he had pushed the door into. A woman with dark full hair that cascades down to her lower back. She is slightly taller than Blaine, but only by about an inch, and Kurt realizes, that it must've been because of the 4 inch heels she is wearing. The woman has warm hazel eyes like Blaine, and she is absolutely gorgeous. Kurt wishes that he had pushed the door more forcefully.
"Papa, wee-wee?" the little boy's voice snaps the magic. Time unfreezes itself, as the boy doesn't even look at Kurt, but instead looks up at the man holding him. Kurt looks just about to cry. The woman apologizes – though it really should have been Kurt to apologize – as Blaine shifts his eyes away from Kurt, as if he doesn't know him. Didn't save him from his bully in high school. Didn't date him for a year and a half. Didn't give his virginity to him. Blaine, instead, looks at the little boy, smiling softly.
"Yes, we'll go to the Ferris wheel, honey." And with that, he strides past Kurt, and out of his life a second time. And Kurt feels sick. He feels like crying. He feels his stomach churn, his heart beat quicken and his breathing turn heavy. And he races back home. Back to his apartment. Where Rachel's there. And he spills everything to her. As he becomes a crying mess on the floor. Rachel is furious, but holds Kurt close and rocks him gently. Rocks him until he cries himself to sleep.
Kurt spends the next few days thinking. Just thinking; thinking too much. Blaine had a ring on his ring finger. He was married. That ring couldn't have symbolized anything else. No matter how optimistically Kurt tries to think about the matter, it is always shot down harshly by himself. There was just no other explanation as to why Blaine wore a ring. And that toddler and woman? Wife and child. Kurt doesn't want to believe it, but by default, that is what comes to mind. No, maybe the woman is his friend, and the child is hers but not his? But the child called Blaine 'Papa'. Who calls their mother's friend by 'Papa'? But Blaine was supposed to be 'one hundred percent gay'. He even had his little experiment with Rachel. Did that not mean anything? And given the time frame, Blaine could have perfectly married a woman and had a child. Kurt and Blaine had been separated over 2 years already. Blaine could have gotten with that woman in the first half year of their breakup, gotten her pregnant, have the 9 month waiting while getting married, and have the child who has grown to become no older than 1 year old. It all fit in perfectly. Kurt doesn't want to believe it, but maybe Blaine has moved on, unlike Kurt. And it hurts Kurt to know that he, himself, has been holding onto something, thinking that it is dear to the two of them, when it was really just himself. Blaine probably thought Kurt was just a high school fling all along. A nice dick up his ass. A cute guy to waste time with. A pretty accessory hanging off his arm.
Kurt slowly, but surely, begins to fall into depression. Rachel notices, but doesn't know what to do. She pushes Kurt to try to get him to see a psychiatrist, because she notices it becoming more of an issue, and only something a trained professional would be able to handle. She books the appointments for him and everything. But Kurt refuses to go. He instead stays in his bed, day in and day out, curtains closed shut and just sits there. Doesn't do anything. He uses up all of his sick days and vacation days from work, and risks losing the job that he worked so hard to get. He is so close to becoming a Broadway star, and yet he is willing to throw it all away. And it makes him more depressed. Rachel begins to get frustrated with Kurt, and one day, after just having enough of the broody Kurt, brings a psychiatrist over. Kurt is angry at Rachel. He thinks that she thinks he's becoming a nut case - a crazy, a loony - when really, he was just sad all the time. Inside, his head is always running in circles on why Blaine dumped him. He relives that moment over and over again in his head. Play, pause, rewind, repeat. Sometimes he'll just sit, reliving that dreadful moment over and over again, so much that when he snaps back to reality, he'll notice that hours have gone by. Kurt no longer sees in colours, he sees in black and white, but mostly just gray. His senses, more often than not, are numb. And he hardly ever reacts to anything anymore, he hardly ever feels. He tells all of this to the psychiatrist, for some reason. She makes him want to spill all of his deepest darkest secrets to her. He's sure that she is trained to do just that. That she has the experience in that. But regardless, he tells her anyways. And he feels as if the burden has been lifted off his shoulders slightly. Just slightly.
The psychiatrist tells him that he's clinically depressed. She prescribes him some anti-depressants, and tells him that she'll come back to check up on him in a month's time to see how he's doing. She tells Rachel that she can call her anytime, if anything happens. Kurt begins to take the pills and Rachel makes sure he takes just the right amount, on schedule. He feels significantly better after a week.
Kurt starts going to work again, and continues taking the pills with Rachel monitoring him. It doesn't bother Kurt one bit; he rather likes Rachel caring for him. A few days later, they start choreography. Kurt is devastated when he meets a familiar woman with thick dark hair, and warm hazel eyes. She introduces herself as their choreographer and calls herself B, B Anderson. Anderson. Kurt's heart sinks at the thought of her being Blaine's wife. But instead of feeling depressed and defeated, he feels motivated and energized. He takes the frustration and the pain to good use by pushing himself with the dance. Choreography is hard with B, but Kurt enjoys it. Kurt often catches B filming him through rehearsals. She just smiles warmly and says it's for future reference, when she catches his questioning gaze.
One day, Kurt just about has enough. He wants to know. Whether or not Blaine is B's husband. Whether that little boy is their child. Whether they got together before or after Blaine broke up with Kurt. Kurt needs to know. But no way is he going to be straightforward with B, and ask her. So instead, he follows her after work. One would call it stalking; Kurt calls it information-gathering. Kurt follows B's car all the way from dance practice to the New York Downtown Hospital. Kurt is taken aback by why B would go to the hospital, of all places, straight from work. Feeling as if he were intruding, Kurt decides to stay in his car, as his eyes follow B's figure into the tall building. Kurt shivers slightly as he looks at the building. He remembers his father being in one of those when Kurt was in high school. Kurt hated it. It was awful in there. He never wanted to go back. Kurt hopes that whoever B is seeing in the hospital will get better soon. But he doesn't pray. Because praying is just something Kurt doesn't do.
After fiddling with his phone for over an hour and a half, Kurt finally sees B exit the tall building and slide back into her car, starting it up and pulling out of the parking space. Kurt follows her. And he does, all the way until B is pulled up to her driveway. Another car is already parked there. A cleanly white Mini Cooper. Kurt tilts his head at this questionable car. Could this be Blaine's car? It was a white Mini Cooper. Kurt remembers a conversation he had with Blaine way back in high school. Blaine was visiting Kurt when Kurt was working in the garage. They strike up a conversation about cars. Kurt says that he loves his Navigator, and would probably continue driving it after graduation. Blaine, who owned a slick black Benz at the time, says that he might switch to a BMW afterwards. Kurt says that if he does, he should definitely buy one in dark blue. Blaine laughs and nods in agreement, adding that maybe bright red would do as well. But not white. Anything but white. Blaine says that white would show scratches easily, and mud stains would stand out too much on white. Blaine then adds that he would want a larger car, 4 wheel drive, or an SUV. Because Blaine likes bigger cars. Kurt laughs at Blaine, telling him to get a Hummer instead, to which Blaine protests, saying how bad Hummers are to the environment.
Kurt snorts, remembering that memory, as he sees B leave and lock her car and enter into the lit house. Kurt notes the house number and street, then makes a 3 point turn and heads home. For the next few days, Kurt follows B, but it is always the same routine. B would leave work and head straight for the hospital, where she stays for 1-2 hours. She then leaves work and heads home. On Kurt's third day, B stops at the grocery store to buy some cooking ingredients, but other than that, B's adventures out of work were rather boring. Finally, on the 5th day of his stake out, Kurt notices something. It is a Friday night, and Kurt, sad as it is, has nothing better to do, but to stalk his dance choreographer. After staying for an extra hour watching B's house, he sees B exit the house with a man and the 1 year old toddler. They lock the door and head for B's car. To Kurt's surprise, the man beside B is not Blaine. Kurt is taken aback. Was B cheating on Blaine? Who is this mysterious man? Kurt follows B to a house nearby where she drops the toddler off, and then continues to follow the car to a club. The two were going clubbing. Kurt is furious; the only thoughts running through his head were how B would cheat on Blaine with this man. He is tempted to grab B as she steps out of the car, and slap her on the face for betraying Blaine. Blaine doesn't deserve to be cheated on. Blaine is a wonderful compassionate man who just wanted her love. How dare she.
But Kurt refrains from it. Fuming, Kurt leaves, promising to confront her about it tomorrow.
Kurt walks up to B's house the next day near the afternoon. He rings the doorbell, and is greeted with the same man B was with the day before. Kurt is shocked, and wonders why he would be there, and where the hell was Blaine? Kurt asks him if B is there, and the man tells him that she is at the hospital, and then tells Kurt that he can leave a message and tell B that he came to visit, whenever she comes back. 'Hospital again,' Kurt thinks and nods his thanks, but declines the offer to leave a message and leaves. Hopping back into his Navigator, Kurt speeds down towards the hospital, gears in his brain working a mile a minute. Kurt doesn't understand. Why was this man in B's house? Did B and Blaine divorce and now B lives with this man? But Blaine still has his ring. Growling in frustration, Kurt speeds down the highway. The faster he gets to the hospital, the faster his questions will be answered. Screw information-gathering, he'll just go up to B and ask her everything.
Kurt arrives at the hospital, and ends up sitting in the main waiting area. Because he honestly doesn't know where B is. He figures that she would have to leave through the main exit sometime, as always, so he could just wait for her there. Sighing a little to himself, Kurt rubs his temples with the pads of his index fingers. None of the information he gathered is matching up. Nothing makes sense.
Kurt looks over when a tug is felt on his pant leg. Kurt is met with a young boy about 2 years old. Kurt recognizes the boy as the little toddler that Blaine was carrying around that one day; he has grown older. Why was this little boy out here? Where was B? Shouldn't someone be taking care of him? Sighing, Kurt picks the little boy up, when the toddler raises his arms motioning for 'up-up'. Kurt sits him on his lap and smiles "Are you lost, dear?"
The toddler shakes his head, "Me 'n Nanny Kay pwaying. But all the Nannies take care 'o me."
Kurt looks up to see the nurses at the front desks smiling at him and nods, as if telling him that they are watching the boy and making sure that he is alright. The boy must come often to know so much about the nurses and have them taking care of him. Maybe he is the one who is sick? No, the boy seemed healthy, and not wearing a hospital gown.
"So, why are you here then, hun? Surely not to just play," Kurt feels horrible for trying to pry information from a toddler. But he still wants to know. Needs to know.
"'Cause Papa sweeping here. Papa reawwy tired. Papa no wakes up for many, many days." The boy explains, eyes casted down in sadness.
Kurt strokes the boy's head gently in comfort, "Papa and Mama must really love each other, eh?" He whispers, a slight sadness in his tone, "They must've been, for them to get married." Really, Kurt doesn't mean to let the last comment slip, but it did, and he winces as he hears every word dripped in jealousy.
The boy looks up at Kurt with questioning eyes, "You so silly. Papa not mawwie Mama. Daddy mawwie Mama. Papa not Daddy, an' Daddy not Papa!" The boy giggles and shakes his head at Kurt as if to say he was a 'silly, silly little boy' and the child continues, "But it ok, I fo'give you. Cause Papa like you."
Kurt stiffens, not understanding everything the toddler was trying to say to him. This child has 2 fathers? One is married to B, and the other… likes Kurt? "Your Papa knows me?"
"O' course! You Kurt! Papa always say Kurt is amazing, an' totally awesome!" The child giggles as Kurt's face turns paler and paler, "Papa has Kurt's picture beside the flowers. Mama always comes to change the flowers. An' Papa always looks at Kurt's picture. An' always hold Kurt's picture."
No. It couldn't be. Kurt is in denial. Could the one who is hospital ridden really be Blaine? Kurt takes a shaky breath, "What's your name, child? How about I take you back to your mum, ok?"
The child giggles and nods, allowing Kurt to hold the child as the 2 year old tell him where 'Mama' was. "Me Toronto. Toronto Anderson."
Once Kurt hears the name, tears well up in his eyes looking down at the innocent boy in his arms. His name was Toronto. Toronto. Kurt's mind flashes back to high school. When Blaine was together with Kurt. Where the two were cuddling in bed and watching Sound of Music in Kurt's room. Kurt shakes his head, telling Blaine that he'd never be able to take care of so many children. Blaine laughs petting Kurt's hair softly, asking him if he ever had a child, what would he name him. Kurt thinks for a moment, enjoying his hair being stroked by those entrancing fingers, and then he says Toronto. Blaine smiles, oh? Like the city. Kurt laughs, yeah, like the city. Because Kurt thinks the name is beautiful and fitting for a beautiful baby boy, with Blaine's thick curly hair and Kurt's clear glasz eyes. Blaine softly smiles and hums in agreement. The name was beautiful.
Without a doubt, the child is Blaine's. Kurt doesn't understand. Why Blaine would have a child with B. Why B is with that strange man who owned the white Mini Cooper, and not Blaine, the father of her child. Why Blaine would have a picture of him if they broke up. Kurt lets out a breath of frustration, as he turns the corner as instructed by Toronto who was currently talking about the picture he drew for 'Papa'.
Arriving at the door, Kurt knocks and turns the doorknob. What he finds behind the door, though, takes his breath away, makes his knees weak, makes his eyes well up in tears and makes him slump on the floor in defeat. B looks at the door, shocked to see Kurt fall to the floor and Toronto, who had been set down before the door opened, walking over to take a seat beside the bed. Kurt sobs into his hands and B looks sadly at Kurt, getting up and ushering him inside. B sits Kurt in the seat that she had taken before, rubbing Kurt's back, willing for the man to calm down. At the bed beside Toronto is Blaine. Respirator over his face, eyes closed, IV drip in his arm and heart monitor beeping softly beside him. Blaine looks so small in the large white hospital bed, wrapped around in the white sheets. His face is still as handsome as always, but he looks like he had aged many years. His cheeks were sallow, and he had heavy eye bags under his eyes. B gives Toronto a look, and Toronto leaves the room to go back with the nurses, understanding. B always gave Toronto those looks lately. And when Toronto leaves the room, he can hear B's sobs behind the closed door.
Kurt takes Blaine's hand softly, rubbing circles on the back as his sobs calm into sniffles. "What happened? The last time I saw him, he was fine, he was…" Kurt chokes a sob, B looks apologetically at Kurt.
"You're not supposed to be here." B starts softly, almost in a whisper, "You're not supposed to know."
Kurt looks scrutinizingly at B, "What do you mean?"
"I'll start from the beginning. You deserve to know. Blaine was being stupid and made me promise not to tell you, but you have the right to know," B takes a shuddering breath, eyes closing briefly and frowning, she looks at Kurt, "My name's Blair Anderson. I'm Blaine's sister." Kurt looks about to speak as she shakes her head. Kurt closes his mouth as Blair continues, looking sadly at Blaine. "A few weeks before your Senior Prom, Blaine was diagnosed with lung cancer." Kurt gasps, trembling hand going up to his mouth to cover it, as his eyes widen in shock. "Blaine was supposed to get treatment right away, but he said he wanted to wait until graduation. Since it takes time for rehabilitation, Blaine would have to at least redo an extra half year in high school if he were to do that operation right away. He wanted to at least get his high school diploma with all of his friends. With you, Kurt." Kurt looks at Blaine lovingly, and Blair sees this, as she continues, "The doctors said it was ok. They found the tumour early, so it should've been no problem if Blaine waited an extra few weeks before operating it. Blaine would still have a high chance of surviving even if he waited the extra few weeks. Blaine promised us that he'd get it operated as soon as possible. So we made the date the day right after graduation." Kurt's eyes water, new tears forming, as a single one slips down his already tear streaked face, hand gripping a little tighter on Blaine's still hand.
"He broke up with me on graduation night." Kurt whispers.
Blair nods, "He couldn't stop crying when he came back home. He was still very much in love with you, Kurt. But the day after, he went in for operation, and it was successful. It took him half a year to rehabilitate from the operation. During that time, our parents passed away in a car accident." Kurt gasped, in shock, "Our mother just recently gave birth to little Toronto – Blaine named him." Blair shakes her head, eyes watering a little, "She never believed in abortion, so when she found out she was pregnant – at the age of 45 – she decided to keep it." Blair laughs sadly at the fond memory, "It was hard on her. And a few months after Toronto was born, they-" Blair sobs quietly, as Kurt looks sympathetically over at Blair who calms herself, and sniffles, "So Blaine and I took care of him. Even though we're his siblings, he always thought of us has his parents. He calls Blaine Papa and me Mama. I got married to Dan a few years back, and Toronto adapted to having 2 dads and 1 mum. He calls Dan by Daddy, so as to not get the two confused."
Kurt laughs softly, finally, he understood. "Toronto told me about that today. The whole Papa-Daddy incident. It was mighty confusing."
Blair smiles softly, nodding in agreement, before continuing her story, "Blaine was perfectly healthy for the first year he was admitted out of the hospital and out of rehab. But then he started getting really bad headaches and feeling nauseous and dizzy all the time. We went to check it out, and the doctors said that not all of the cancer had been removed, and it had moved to his brain. He had a brain tumour." Kurt gasped, looking down at the man in the bed, hands never leaving the other's. "We did a little research and found that there was a great doctor over here in New York who specializes in brain tumours. His operations on them also had a high survival rate. So we moved here. The time I was bumped into by a door, that was you, wasn't it, Kurt?"
Kurt looks at Blair in surprise, "You knew? How?"
Blair laughs a little, "Blaine keeps so many photos of you around that I'd be able to pick you out of a crowd of millions of people." Kurt smiles fondly at Blaine at the thought that Blaine kept photos of him, "Anyways that day was the day we toured around New York for the first time. Blaine said that he always wanted to get an apartment near NYU and find the perfect little coffee shop that he'd go to." Kurt's eyes water a little at the statement, remembering the exact words that he had said before to Blaine, "Blaine started chemotherapy shortly after our move and he was hospital ridden. Then, a few weeks after I had joined the Broadway show you're on, Kurt, Blaine's health took a turn for the worse. The doctor said that chemo could no longer do anything to help. That currently, Blaine would have less than 2 weeks to live. That the only thing that might be able to help lengthen Blaine's time would be if they operated the tumour out. But it wasn't guaranteed. Blaine and I stalled the decision until they said that Blaine would only have a few days left. So Blaine decided to do it. He said that even if there was 1 percent chance of him surviving, he'd take it. After the operation… he's been comatose ever since." Blair sobs quietly, looking over at his brother through teary eyes.
Kurt grips Blaine's hand a little tighter. Blaine's comatose. Blaine's in a coma. Who knows when he'd wake up. Kurt's heart drop to his stomach at the news, and he looks at that peaceful face in the bed, eyes closed, body not moving. Kurt looks at Blair, "… About the Broadway show…"
"I did a little research on you and found that you were doing that new Broadway show, so I requested to become a choreographer for the show. I was originally a choreographer for many hit Broadway shows in the past, but took a break for 2 years to take care of Blaine and Toronto, and because of my wedding. So when they heard that I'd be back for Broadway shows, they accepted me." Kurt looks impressed at Blair and nodded his approval as Blair smiles in appreciation. "When Blaine started chemotherapy shortly after our move, I was always busy toggling between work, visiting the hospital and taking care of my family – Dan and Toronto. I didn't really need to work on the show, but I thought I'd give Blaine something that'd connect him to you." Blair smiles softly, looking over to the table beside Blaine's bed as Kurt follows Blair's line of vision to a photo of Kurt sitting beside a vase of Forget-Me-Nots. Kurt's eyes water, as Blair whispers, "He's always loved you, Kurt."
Kurt's eyes well up with fresh tears, brushing a hand softly over Blaine's thick curls in affection. Blair smiles sadly, "I'll give you two some time alone." And she gets up and leaves the room, closing the door behind him.
Once Blair is out the room, Kurt lets his tears slip down his cheeks shamelessly and chokes a sob, both trembling hands holding onto Blaine's. "You..." Kurt sobs, "I love you, Blaine. I always have and I always will." Kurt calms down a little bit, hands still trembling, "You know, that night you left, I was devastated. I was totally lost. I seriously thought that we'd be able to live together in New York… have kids… grow old. And it was hard to get over it." Kurt breaths out a shuddering sigh, remembering everything that Rachel did in order to try to help him, "I moved in with Rachel. And her dads talked to me, basically gave me a huge lecture," Kurt laughs softly, "It was the biggest slap in the face. It shook me to the core, and it woke me up from my depressed state. I got onto Broadway while continuing my studies. The day I saw you on the street, I was actually there going through the pieces for the Broadway show. You know, that day I saw you, I was totally and completely shattered. I mean, how was I supposed to know the gorgeous woman beside you was your sister? And you had a child in your arms, I mean… It really got me depressed. To the point that I needed anti-depressants." Kurt looks shamefully at Blaine; Blaine would never forgive himself if he knew that Kurt needed to take anti-depressants because of him. "But it's alright, because I'm alright now. The anti-depressants helped a lot, and I feel so motivated now to work towards my career and studies." Kurt smiles through his tears, head lying down on Blaine's chest lightly.
"I forgive you, just so you know. I forgave you a long time ago. And I never forgot you. I mean, how could I? The time we spent together, Blaine, it was real. And I've always loved you. I tried dating after we broke up, and it was never right. It was funny; I always ended up comparing my dates to you. They were just never good enough. They were nowhere near as perfect as you were. I love you, Blaine. And I will continue to do so. So… just… wake up already, Blaine. I miss you. I miss you so much… so much…"
Kurt doesn't feel the slight twitch of tanned fingers, as he falls asleep with his head lying comfortably on Blaine's chest, as the heart monitor beeps softly in the back.
"Kurt."
Kurt turns around at the familiar voice. He is faced with a handsome, healthy man. "Blaine."
In a flash, Blaine is holding Kurt tightly, stroking his hair the way he used to when they cuddled back in high school. They are pressed together tightly and Blaine just holds him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. For everything I've done to you. You need to forget about me, baby. Forget about me, and move on."
Kurt's eyes water, clutching onto Blaine tightly, as if he thought that if he let go even the slightest, that Blaine would slip away from him. "I forgive you, Blaine. For everything. I've forgiven you a long time ago. I've gotten over it. But I won't forget. I'll never forget. The one and a half year we spent together, it means something to me. To us. And, dear God, I missed you. I love you, Blaine. I'll always love you."
Blaine smiles softly into Kurt's shoulder, "I love you. Forever and always."
Kurt wakes up, his neck sore from sleeping in a strange position. The beeping of the heart monitor still resonating in the now all too quiet room. Kurt wakes up to a blanket draped on his back, and hair messy. Kurt swears that his hair had been ruffled through, the way Blaine use to back in high school. Sighing, Kurt shifts in his chair. "I'll come back tomorrow after work. I love you, Blaine. Forever and always." Kurt says, just as he did in his dream, and he gets up. Kurt would've pecked him on the lips, but the mask that attached Blaine to the respirator was in the way. Instead, Kurt opts for a kiss on the cheek; his hand lingering just a little bit as he finally pulls his hand away from Blaine's. With one last look, Kurt shuts the door behind him and heads home.
The next day, Blair doesn't come for dance practice.
Kurt knows immediately that there is something wrong with Blaine, and asks to be excused from work to go to the hospital. Kurt speeds to the hospital and to Blaine's room, where Blair is sitting beside Blaine, eyes red and puffy as if she had been sobbing for hours. The heart monitor is still beeping softly in the back, and the respirator still around his face. "Blair…" he calls.
Blair looks at Kurt with sad, teary eyes, "Blaine, he's… he's brain dead."
Kurt's face pales to an almost ghost white, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Blaine? Brain dead? How? Why? Kurt couldn't find the strength to speak, he just moves – almost zombie-like – to take a seat on the opposite side of the bed.
Blair continues, "They announced him clinically brain dead this morning, at around 7:30. I got notice of it right away and I've been here ever since."
Kurt let a tear slip down his face, not bothering to wipe it away, as he slips his hand into Blaine's. This couldn't be happening. He just reunited with Blaine yesterday. He was supposed to get better, and then they were supposed to get back together because they loved each other very, very much. Why was this happening? Life was unfair.
"Kurt… I want you to know that… Blaine has decided to pull the plug if he ever became clinically brain dead." Blair says slowly, "It was Blaine's decision alone. He said that he'd rather…" Blair chokes back a sob, "That he's rather become everyone's guardian angel, than a vegetable. He's always hated his vegetables," Blair chuckles a little, a small bittersweet sound. Kurt nods his understanding. It was Blaine's wish to be sent up in the sky, rather than to be chained down by the machines keeping him physically alive, but not mentally. Blaine smiles sadly at Kurt through teary eyes, and tells Kurt that Blaine must've been holding on to life; waiting to see Kurt one final time. Blair gets up, and continues, "I'm so sorry for everything my brother has put you through." She says she has to fill out the paperwork for Blaine; she places a small, plush box softly into Kurt's hand and leaves, telling him to say his goodbyes to Blaine before she comes back.
Kurt looks at the small, plush box in his shaky hands. Opening it hesitantly, Kurt chokes back a heart-wrenching sob. The inside of the lid has a slip of paper that simply wrote 'I love you' in Blaine's neat handwriting; the top has a small image of a Forget-Me-Not. Inside the box, was a ring. But there were two slits where another ring should have been. The ring in the box looks exactly the same as the ring Blaine wore. Is still wearing, Kurt notices, as he looks at Blaine's hand that he was holding. The matching ring. Kurt sobs quietly, knowing immediately what the ring was. A promise ring, an engagement ring, a symbol of forever. Kurt plucks the ring out of the box and slips it onto his ring finger, then holds Blaine's hand with his; the metal of the two rings clacking musically together. "I love you, Blaine. I'll never forget you."
Beside the bed-ridden boy is a picture of the boy he loved so much. A picture that he looked at millions of times. A picture that he first wakes up to in the mornings. A picture that is the last one he ever sees before he falls asleep. And beside that picture is a beautiful vase of beautiful blue Forget-Me-Nots.
Yeah, I killed Blaine. It was hard for me to do. I've been thinking about Klaine angst for a while already, so this kind of satisfied me – in a weird kind of way, because killing off Blaine shouldn't be satisfying. So, I hope you enjoyed it. Chapter 2 has not been written at all yet, but it will be Blaine's side of the story told through letters and Blair.
On a side note, I haven't been updating Back to Spells, Enchantments, Potions and Friends, and I'm really sorry about that. I've been moving stuff back into my house for University, so it's been a bit crazy. And I spent time writing this that I was supposed to spend on writing that, so sorry. I'll get the next chapter up soon.
Anyways, thank you, as always, for reading. And reviews are loved, if you can spare a bit of your time. Thank you very much.