PLEASE READ: Due to me losing my password to my old account (Still have it logged in on my old phone which is just getting to tricky to post from) I've had to move my stories, the ones i wish to continue, to this account. I'm really sad at having to do this but it's because i really want to continue and make this story better, This story is still up on my other account (A lover of shadows) but I will be touching this one up alittle, combining chapters and making thing more consistent. I will be posting and adding more to the story that i haven't ended up posting on the old one. I'm really sorry for any confusion
She is just a girl, a girl who is in way too over her head but doesn't know what to do about it. She's scared, she doesn't know what to do and she doesn't know how she could possible have let herself get into this situation. She's only seventeen years old, still mourning her parents recent death and she's pregnant, almost eleven weeks now with the child of a person she has been in love with before she even knew what love is. However that did not make her situation much better as he was her sister's, her identical twin sister's, ex boyfriend.
At this very moment, with watery eyes, she stands half naked before the mirror in front of her as she stares at her own reflection. Her fingertips cautiously and gently brushing over where her lower abdomen protrudes out into a small bump. The bump may still be small but it's more noticeable to her now yet it hopefully not too noticeable for people not looking for it, she prays, and thankfully no one seem to.
Her eyes narrow as she look at her bump, she lets out a sharp breath of air as she feels fear course through her veins because although the hump may not be that noticeable doesn't change the fact it's there and she is beginning to show. She knows she really can't keep it a secret much longer, and that's terrifying but the bump from the life growing inside her is not the only change she has seen in her body recently. She's been feeling more tired all the time, more hungry, her breast are always sore now (she's pretty sure they've gotten a little bigger, having needed to buy new bras), and she's been throwing up almost every morning. Someone's going to figure it out, maybe her sister, or her aunt, or Caroline or something but someone will. She knows that because she's never been very good at at hiding things, this has been her best kept secret so far and the thought of people knowing scares her. Or maybe it's the judgment that frightens her.
She turns to her side, looking at the bump in the mirror and splaying her fingers over it while thinking about the child growing inside of her and how she got here in this situation.
She was stupid, grieving, crazy in love and slightly drunk.
Her parents had just died and when that happened she felt like she died with them, she wished she did. In an effort to try and feel alive again, to feel anything her younger brother, Jeremy, started to drag her to parties with him to get her mind off the tragic event that stole their parents from them. The two also did have a close bond. However there was one party in particular, the last party she went to, it took one month after her parents died and the party had started out like any other.
Music was pounding loudly, alcohol and drugs at every turn and she had a red solo cup in hand when she quite literally bumped into him, alcohol splashing on her shirt. There was not a single ounce of annoyance or anger in her as she looked up and saw it was him that bumped her and she just laugh sweetly as he apologized, assuring him it was okay. She had fallen in love with Matt Donovan years ago, when she was a child, before she even knew what love was and since then her love only grew.
Though when Matt started dating her sister to say she was devastated would of been an understatement as her heart broke but her for him feelings remained despite herself.
The girl was surprised to see him there but a little voice in her heart had reminded her how he was now single, having broken up with Elena two weeks earlier which Alexis guiltily found herself feeling happy about as they might finally have a chance, and could now do what he wanted. Yet the smarter voice coming from her head told her that he was probably only her to look over his own sister and make sure she was safe tonight. The way he cared about people is something she's always admired.
Matt still believed he and Elena would work out, that they'd get back together but after he had bumped into her he ended up pulling Alexis aside during the party to catch up. They were best friends once but she grew distance and he's missed her.
It felt good, smiling and joking around as they listened to the music, having a good time together. Alexis doesn't really know what it was that came over her next, maybe it the maybe it was the music thrumming in sync with her heartbeat, maybe it was because she was a little tipsy, maybe because this was finally her chance, or maybe she just wanted to, but one second they were talking and the next second her lips were on his.
He had paused for a moment and just as she was about to pull away he kissed her back, pulling her closer even though he knew it was wrong. She smiled into the kiss, feeling like she was on cloud nine and it was perfect. For the first time in what seemed like eternity she had felt truly alive again.
The next morning as light beamed through dark curtains she woke up, naked in his bed, wrapped in his arms. She felt so safe and at home in his arms but as he woke up, they pulled apart - She truly believed that having sex with him, giving him her virginity would...She lets out a hurt breath...She thought maybe they could be more, that it'd prove to him something, that it would convince him of it - as she saw the look on his face her heart sank. Instantly she knew he regretted everything from that night and probably just slept with her because she was the closest thing to Elena he could have now that they were broken up. She was hurt beyond belief that she practically ran out of there as fast as she could and ran back home, thanking god that it was summer so she have to see him again anytime soon.
She was heartbroken, tears streaking down her face as she thought of how foolish she was for it all as she had curled up in her bed, wanting to call her best friend, Caroline, but couldn't as she was at cheer camp and that only made her cry harder. It wasn't long before her aunt Jenna had come up into her bedroom with a tub of ice cream and two spoons in hand. They laid on the bed, Jenna's arm wrap around her soothingly as they were eating the chocolate flavored ice cream and crying (Mostly Alexis..Okay just Alexis was crying) as she explained everything that had happened that night. She can remember Jenna asking her if they used protection and she remembered saying yes but that was not obviously lied, but to be fair she didn't really remember if they had or not, she just assumed they did but as time passed the missed periods and the pregnancy test told her different, told her she was pregnant as well.
It hurt, thinking about how she got her, but now she must think about where she's going. How she must change this for the better, but how can she do that when she's too scared to tell anyone. Her lips press together nervously as she thinks about the most possible reactions from the people closest to her.
Elena, her dearest twin sister. She doesn't think Elena would forgive her for sleeping with Matt so soon after the broke up. She'll be disappointed in Alexis and confused and hurt that she didn't tell her sooner but in the end she thinks Elena will be there for her and help her figure it all out.
Her brother, Jeremy would feel guilty for taking her to that party but other than that she thinks he would be too high to actually care much and if he did he'd talk down to her or go off at Matt.
Jenna, Alexis knows she will be angry and upset because the woman has hardly been coping taking care of the three of them but add a baby that might be too much for her. Jenna would want better than this for her. Though she can see Jenna be a little excited despite herself.
Caroline, her best friend in the entire world, has her suspicions already so she won't be too surprised when she reveals her secret. The blonde cheerleader would probably buy every baby book in Mystic Falls and be so excited about it, helping her through everything. Or so Alexis hopes.
Matt's she has no idea how he'll react because of how complicated it all is and how she thinks he only wanted her because she looked just like her sister, not because he wanted her. She still loves him and objectively she knows Matt is a good guy and will do what is right by her and the baby...she hopes but whatever happens she is going to love this child with everything she is. She is nervous about everything has to give up though and things she won't be able to do now but in the end she knows it will be worth it. No matter what, she will be strong for this child. No matter how bad the storm, she'll carrying everything if she must. She has too.
Although she's so scared she needs to be strong and start telling people. And she will.
She shakes her head as her hands drop from her stomach to her sides before she turns around and walks over to her wardrobe she shares with her sister before pulling out an outfit. She dresses quite unlike herself but not to unlike herself that too many people will notice. Her hair is thrown up into a high messy ponytail rather than of spending hours curling her hair or taking time to straighten it, flat shoes on her feet rather than heels but other than that her usual attire doesn't change, she wears shorts, a causal t-shirt and a loose jacket that pulls her outfit bump is only slightly visible but to anyone that would notice it, it just looks like she gained a little weight. She looks back to the mirror, taking in a deep breath, looking herself over once more before a small sort of smile is on her lips even though the stress for today still lingers, knowing she will see him today. She ducks her head, deciding no matter what she will tell at least one person today, she can be brave, before heading down stairs for her first day back at school, the starting of a new year.