Disclaimer: The D.Gray-Man series does not belong to me, but belongs to the lovely Katsura Hoshino. Yes, the creator of D.Gray-Man is definitely a chick. Enjoy.

"Tell me why I cry..."

Those were the words he said before he died. It was so sad, he lay on the ground surrounded with lilies. I remember how the atmosphere smelled like the lilies in full bloom, it was nauseatingly sweet. It was annoying. Though, the scent made me cry harder, because I know he's gone. I can never hold him tight in my arms, nor stare at his emerald eyes again. At that very moment, I knew I can never save him with these hands... covered and stained with his own blood. I can't save him... How I hate these hands of mine.

But when he holds them, he makes a promise. He smiles so brightly, even the sun hides behind the clouds and turns to envy him. I sometimes try to break off from his grasp and glare at him annoyingly, then I turn my back and return to my room. He was the only one that praised these hands of mine, that he placed my right hand on his left cheek. He'd say that my hands are like the satiny autumn wind that runs through his red locks and that caresses his sun-kissed skin.

That stupid rabbit with his red hair! He's so poetic that it makes me sick that I swoon and blush awkwardly. Yet, it makes me smile inwardly and want to kiss his soft lips. Lips of sweet honeyed apples... that proclaim such deep love than of the Buddhist sutra I read during meditation. Those lips that call my name so sweetly that drives me nuts if someone else calls me by that name. I may have no humor at all, but he is a bundle of laughs. He has all the energy to tick me off with his humorous comments, however, which makes me laugh when no one is around.

Every time I think of him, it still makes me cry since I was just standing there when he died. How stupid of me to just be there gaping like a naive child! The thought to rush to his side to protect him was useless. But as he lay there bleeding, he summoned all energy to call for me for one last time and ask me why he cries. As he closed his eyes, there was not a tear from his patched eye or the other. He was just ready to go forth into the darkness, alone. But he has all the courage to go there, hoping and waiting for that day to come.

"Bookmen have no emotions. Nor the luxury of love and friends."

Lavi, I think I know why now... And I hope you'd forgive me when I wasn't there.

Because I never realized that I love you, too.

"Yuu-chan, I love you... That's why I cry."

I lay almost lifeless on the snow-covered ground stained with my scarlet blood. The stench of frozen blood hangs amidst the midwinter air, and Kanda stood at a close distance... Petrified at the sight he sees before him. He warily, yet in haste, approached me as I hollered for his prescence. Kanda fell forward, trembling as he took my battered rag of a body into his arms. I felt the warmth of his closed embrace and the hard exhalation of disbelief.

Yuu-chan... I hope you hear me. I'm okay.

Shut up! Please, don't say anything else! Just stop talking!

Don't worry about me. It will just bruise a bit... I'm gonna be fine.

No, you're not! Your ribs are probably fractured from that blow! And you're bleeding too much...

I'm gonna be fine! Jeez, you worry too much, Yuu...

Hic... I told you not to call me that, Lavi. Just save your breath. I'll go fetch a doctor...

Don't!

I took his hand and held it tightly. As I held Yuu's bare hand, his hand began to gradually shake and he slowly bursted in tears. He leaned forward and I felt his arms wrap around me tighter than the way I took his hand. I thought that I was choking from his radiating grasp or drowning from the excessive tears he shed, but that was just me realizing the fact we can never be together. There was simply no way.

Lavi! I don't want you to die! I... I-I just--

Yuu-chan, tell me why I cry...

He stared at me, still with tears streaming from his frosty sapphire eyes. Kanda gaped like a child, and hiccuped inaudiblely.

Huh...? You shouldn't ask me such childish questions when you're dying here! How can you not shut up and not bother the pain you're suffering!?

How stupid of me to chuckle at his naive nature, and that's why...

Yuu-chan... do you mind if I just call you that during my last hours?

Kanda feeblely nodded his head as he wiped the tears from eyes. His hands were covered in the blood-soaked slush.

You're such a pessimist, baka usagi!

You're so naive, Yuu-chan.

As innocent as a child... ahou.

I love you... 'cause you make me smile. I love you for all the things you are. I love you because you're my first bestfriend. I will love you forever and I will wait patiently for your answer. Too bad it's over.

Lavi... Lavi-dono... Please, w-w-wake u-up! Please, don't die on me! LAAAAAAVIIIIIIII!!

And that's why I cry.

You never loved me back.

Author's Note: This one story entry was originally two stories posted on my DeviantArt gallery (go to reihiko.). The first part of this version is the short called "Tell Me Why I Cry" wherein Kanda narrates Lavi's profession of his love for his beloved comrade as he dies in the snow. The last part is definitely Lavi's version of "Tell Me Why I Cry," which I entitled "Tell Me Why I Love You." Yeah, this goes to show I have no creativity in making titles or an original story plot.