Max: HeyLo! How is everyone! I know I still need to update my other stories... But I read a very horrible story! TERRIBLE GRAMMER! Who could ever think my precious Sevvy-baby would ever fuck a... a... GAH!! (Dies) But, this idea popped into my head. It's SUPPOSED ta be a funny story. Sorta.. Romance/Parody... O.o I have no idea. I hope you like lovies! (Huggles) Please Read and review!

Disclaimer: Oh I with I owned Harry Potter... (Drools) There would be lots of sex bishies molesting each other in the classrooms... O.O

Warning: Severus/Harry/Remus/Lucius (Seme/Uke(Seme)/Seme(Uke)/Seme) XD If that makes any sense to any of you. (If not, Severus Major Seme. Harry Uke for Sev. Ocassional Seme moments. Remus Again, Uke for Sev. Seme for Harry unless Harry is in a seme mood.) That was all rather pointless... But eh. Anyway! Lucius/Severus and mention of one sided Draco/Lucius. Mentions of violence. (Severus) Mpreg. (Harry/Remus)

Vacation

Harry sat happily in his very comfortable chair, all the way across the room from the annoyingly ringing phone. He was highly tempted to ignore the bloody thing, for the tenth time, but who knows; maybe it was his lover calling. He grudgingly got up from his seat and stalked across the room, glaring down at the phone once more for good measure, before picking it up and putting it to his ear.

"Hel-." He began but was interrupted by the loud obnoxious noises on the other end.

"POTTER! What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?! I've called nearly a dozen times! Why have you not been answering the phone?! Nothing better have happened, I've only been gone a week!"

Harry rolled his eyes dramatically, oh yes, it was definitely his lover, "Nothings happened Snape… Except that I'm still 8 months pregnant with our child. This is also the reason I haven't answered the phone. It is very difficult to stand."

Severus snarled angrily, "You're a wizard Potter; you could have easily called the phone to you. This is not why I was calling in the first place. I have to stay here another week due to unchangeable circumstances. Before you get angry with me, this is not my doing."

Harry smiled lightly, his eyes flashing with anger, "Of course it's not Sev. You can't help that you HAVE to stay on vacation an extra week with Remus. And obviously, neither of you can help the fact you are no longer attracted to me because I'm FAT! I hate you both! I don't care if you stay gone! By the time you come back I won't be here any longer! I don't want to see you or Remus ever again!"

"Damn it Potter! Don't you ever listen to anyone?!" Harry could hear Remus in the background, taking the phone from Severus, "Harry, love, the reason we can't come home right now isn't because of vacation. Though, Severus should not have pushed this when you were unable to come…" He heard Severus mumbling in the background about silly werewolves and rich brats, "The reason is, we bumped into Draco while we were here, and… Well… You know how angry Sev was about what he did to you. Severus got a bit carried away with his wand. I'm sorry love, but, we'll be home as soon as possible. Okay? Just don't be angry with us. And, would it make you feel better if we denied Sev his fun until we get home?"

Harry thought about Remus explanation for a moment before coming up with an answer, "You can tell Sev, that the next time he runs into that prat, forget about hexing him half to death. Just kill him for me. And yes. Deny Sev his fun. He upset me! He doesn't deserve anything right now! But… Can't you floo home for a quick round then go back?"

"I'm sorry Harry; Lucius has got us on a watching charm. If we so much as leave this room he'll have us chained to the bed..."

Harry growled menacingly, "Ohhhh! I hate that man! Fine then I'll just go there! Good bye Remus. I'll see you both in a few." And before Remus could stop him, Harry slammed the phone on the base, and apparated to the Malfoy mansion in Alaska. When he arrived, he screamed as loud as he could, "AND BESIDES REMUS IS PREGNANT AS WELL SO LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!"

Lucius looked up suddenly to where Harry had apparated in his chambers, pausing in his current activities. Harry was scanning the room before his eyes landed on Lucius, "Wow Sev. I didn't know you liked to bottom to Lucius. You know Lucius... You should really come home sometime. Take some vacation from work. You don't have to LIVE with the Polar Bears just because I said that to you when I got angry..."

And all was calm that night, the 4 lovers cuddled warmly together on the very large bed in Lucius chambers. Angry silver eyes watching them from the doorway. Oh yes, Draco would murder those prats for stealing away his father.

Max: I hope you liked it lovies! Please review! I'm begging you! (Huggles) Lovies dears!

Lovies,

Mr. Max