"Commander, fancy meeting you here."

"Shut it Garrus." Commander Shepard flashed her turian friend a tired smile before moving to run a hand through her messy hair. Sitting in a hotel lobby with nothing but a long t-shirt on in the middle of the night was not how she had expected to spend her weekend, but she couldn't say she was all that shocked. She did seem to have a knack for attracting the unusual.

"Right, right. Though I don't really understand why humans use that expression. Isn't 'fancy' another word for expensive?" With a slight twitch of his mandibles indicating a grin, the turian sat down beside her as casually as if they were in the mess on the Normandy. Good old Garrus—there was a reason he was her best friend.

"Yeah but it also means imagine—oh who cares? What are you doing out of your room, shouldn't you be sleeping? Or, I dunno…testing your reach?"

Garrus groaned, though his shoulders shook with silent laughter. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"Nope! You'll meet a nice turian girl and decide to get married—er, or the turian equivalent—and I'll make sure to bring it up right after you two are bonded for eternity. Just so she knows what she's stuck with. But you're avoiding the question."

"Just wanted to get some coffee, that's all."

"You can't drink coffee."

"So?" He dismissed her with a quick wave of his talon—a human gesture he had no doubt picked up from her—and produced a steaming hot cup of coffee, handing it over to her.

Did he have it this whole time? Maybe I'm more tired than I thought. No matter, Shepard figured as she gave him a quick squeeze on the shoulder in thanks and focused on the beverage. It wasn't fantastic—hotel coffee never was—but it perked her up, and that was enough.

"So, same question back to you. What are you doing down here, dressed...like that?" He was clearly having a little fun at her expense, and she didn't mind. She'd be doing the same back to him, after all. With a quick tug at the hem of the shirt, which thankfully fell to mid-thigh, she shrugged.

"Long story."

"Don't care."

"Oh fine." With a fake scoff, Shepard took another sip of what she had mentally declared 'river mud' and clears her throat.

"Whole thing started an hour or so ago. Wasn't that late at night, when you think about it—especially on the Citadel. But I was tired and so was Thane, so we decided to go to bed a little early."

"Right. After you two tested your reach and flexibility, of course."

"…It's no fun to make fun of you if you go along with it."

"I know."

"Shut up. Anyway, that wasn't the only reason why we went to bed early. Meetings with the Council, trying to get the Normandy fixed up…we've been running around all day, and it takes a toll on you."

Garrus nodded grimly, remembering the turian councilor's face when he heard that Shepard possessed information that could help to cure the genophage. First anger, then denial as he decided Shepard was delusional, possibly from memories of Akuze. That did not go over well.

"So we fell asleep. Next thing I know, I hear the door to our room opening. Thane grabs his sniper, I grab the Cain—"

"You brought the Cain to a hotel?"

"What if the Reapers decided to attack early? Not the point. So we're both sitting up in bed, guns drawn, and in steps Khalisah al-Jilani."

"That reporter you humiliated when she asked about the Destiny Ascension?"

"One and only. Apparently the little keypad outside our door—the one you need to enter the correct code into—was broken, and our door was considered open. So she assumed we knew she was coming, and waltzed right in for an interview."

A pause and a quick sip of coffee later, Shepard continued, sounding more amused than tired.

"Now Thane has no idea what's going on, since he hadn't seen her chew me out before, so I've got to explain everything to him while al-Jilani's just standing there, watching us with her stupid camera drone nearby. Of course, once I'm sure he won't snap her neck, I ask her what the hell she thinks she's doing, and she gives her usual, 'The people want to hear your story Shepard!' speech after she explains that the door was open. I don't believe her, but she's not really worth shooting, so I tell Thane to call C-Sec and have her arrested. After he puts on some pants."

"You two were…?"

"Yep. Come on Garrus, it's me. If we were clothed, it would mean the universe doesn't hate my guts. While Thane's calling, al-Jilani decides she may as well ignore the whole 'I'm about to get arrested for accidentally walking into a naked Spectre's hotel room' thing and ask me a couple of questions. Namely why I was sleeping with a drell, and my relationship with him—a one night stand? A passionate affair? A set-up by the Council to improve race relations?"

Garrus was clearly having trouble staying serious, as his mandibles twitched once again and he was avoiding eye contact. Shepard laughed however, and shrugged her shoulders. "Go ahead and laugh. It only gets better."

"It can't."

"It does. So after a few minutes of dodging her inane questions, C-Sec decides to show up. There I am, stark naked and cowering behind my sheets, a nuclear weapon in my lap, and a half-naked drell by my side with an annoying reporter convinced I'm sleeping with the enemy. Wonderful sight for Bailey and Kolyat."

Laughing openly now, Garrus shook his head in disbelief. "I thought Thane hadn't told Kolyat about you yet."

"He hadn't," Shepard groaned, though the corners of her mouth were twitching slightly. "The only way it could've been worse is if Thane and I were having sex right in front of him. I mean, c'mon, perfect memory. Poor guy could never unsee that."

"Still doesn't explain why you're down here though. I'd think you would want to hide from Kolyat after that."

"Oh I did. Thane decided to finish getting dressed and talk with Kolyat, explain everything before he started coming to his own conclusions. Bailey took al-Jilani, and after I threw on the t-shirt I went to go…get some ice."

"You went to go give the reporter a piece of your mind."

"That's off the record, so if anyone asks, I was getting ice. Anyway, when we'd sorted everything out, I went back upstairs to my room, only to find that so we wouldn't be disturbed, the hotel staff gave us a new room. And they gave Thane the passcode into it."

"So just ask for another copy of the passcode. Easy." The turian looked puzzled, and Shepard could do nothing but grin ruefully.

"Can't. The room is signed in under Thane's name—figured if people knew Shepard was staying here they'd bother us, go figure—so they gave him the copy, and only him. According to policy, they can't give one to me, especially with the 'security break' that just happened. And since Thane decided to go out for a drink with Kolyat…"

"Shepard, you're a Spectre."

Coffee gone, Shepard chucks the empty cup at his head playfully, laughing. "A Spectre that is under investigation for working with a terrorist organization, rewriting the geth, claiming to have information about curing the genophage, murdering another Spectre, and for being a complete head case according to the turian councilor. The Alliance wanted to arrest me earlier—Hackett was the only thing keeping me free. I'm on very thin ice, and I don't want my downfall to be a hotel room."

"Point taken," Garrus threw the cup back, seeming pleased as it bounced off her forehead. "So now you're stuck down here until Thane comes back and lets you into your room. If he comes back."

"Vakarian, don't you dare joke about that." Though Shepard's voice had a teasing lit, her eyes widened at the possibility. "Though I guess it would be fitting if he came back drunk. Can drell get drunk?"

"I have no idea. But I'll wait with you, Shepard. Can't let you keep embarrassing yourself like this. And seeing Thane embarrass himself is too good to miss, even if the possibility is slim."

To his surprise, the Commander wrapped her small, soft arms around him and squeezed—a hug. "You're like the little brother I never had, Garrus. Thank you."

Reciprocating the best he could while sitting sideways, he rests his chin on the top of her head, scratching her back idily with his talons. "Shepard, I should probably tell you something…"

"That drone al-Jilani had with her recorded the entire incident, didn't it? And she streamed it live. You watched the entire story, then came down here with coffee and pretended to be clueless."

"…Maybe."

"Then thank you again."