A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first Hunger Games fic ever, and I hope you like it! Of course I love (biggest understatement of the year) Peeta and Katniss together, but I just wanted to write something about Cato and Katniss together, because they're probably my favourite HG crackship (despite the obvious fact that they'd never get together). I just have this weird intuitive assumption that after the movie they're gonna be the new Dramione/ And I wasn't really into Clove's character nor did I buy into the whole ClovexCato conspiracy, but that's just me.
Anyway, I hope you like it, updates may be infrequent as I have school coming up as well as have to attend to other fics and more pressing matters, so once again, enjoy, and please tell me what you think by hitting that cute little 'review' button at the bottom of the page :)
Thanks, and I claim no ownership over the Hunger Games universe nor any of its characters or materials, unless stated otherwise explicitly. No intentions of earning money or profits are present in the writings of this story.
Thankyou, and please review! torrid
By the way; this is in third person perspective, simply because I don't particularly feel I like writing nor have the skills available for writing an effective first-person narration (it's mostly 'cause I feel like I'm writing myself into the story, and that just feels awkward to me).
this is a horribly written chapter, my apologies. This was really hard to write, lol, and I may consider re-writing it.
Broken
by sweetlittlething
x.x.x
Chapter One - Anemone
"You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase"
- My Immortal, Evanescence
.
.
.
It was just the three of them - she, the one who was once on fire, he, the boy with the ever-fading blue, blue eyes, and him.
Their worst nightmare.
But she wouldn't let him win.
No, she wouldn't let him destroy what was so precious to her.
Katniss Everdeen would not let Cato take Peeta away from her.
Poised with hunter's muscles flexed and an arrow practically quaking to be released from its hold and into Cato's head, Katniss narrowed her eyes and gulped silently, trying her best to resist the temptation of trembling in front of everyone. She was scared, it was true. Scared of the pack of rabid Mutts beneath them, scared of what Cato was capable of, scared that the light would flicker out of Peeta's ever-fading eyes, scared of what she herself would do if Peeta was taken away from her. But she was determined not to let it show.
She would not let her fear conquer her.
Deciding to be strong, just as she was when she was 11 and had realised she needed to be the supporter of her family once it became clear her mother was going to do nothing to help them after her father's demise, Katniss shifted her stance slightly, but not enough to completely send Cato over the edge and into pushing Peeta into the pack of Mutts below. This was not a time for fear. Fear would get her nowhere, and right now fear would not be the saving light that would make sure Peeta was returned back to the safe zone (or whatever atleast somewhat resembled it, here in the arena).
Calm yourself, Katniss, she told herself steadily, sweat tricking down her brow, now is not the time to go into hysterics. Peeta's life is hanging in the balance here. Focus!
"What do you plan on doing now, Firegirl?" Cato taunted, his voice practically dripping with triumph and a certain sadistic glee that sent Katniss' mind spiralling with fear. Katniss loathed that tone of his voice. Victory, she thought glumly, her heart dropping with dread while she felt a chill of recognition run through her, he knows he's going to win either way and there's nothing I can do about it. "Shoot me and he goes down with me," the Tribute from District 2 called to her, his message clearly conveyed through his tone of delight and an expression likened only to that of Buttercup's when he had caught a new mouse as prey. I've won, and you can do absolutely nothing about it, his glinting eyes gloated at her.
Right now, they were in a stalemate. Atop the golden Cornucopia, Cato had Peeta in a firm headlock, Peeta a despairing image with a gaunt, grey face and a mess of a bloody leg Katniss was sure would need to be amputated. Should he survive, that is, she noted with a very real hint of panic and terror. Currently, the baker's son of District 12 was fighting a very problematic and distressing battle: whether to attempt to keep breathing, a thing Cato's muscular arm prevented, or to reduce the amount of blood loss from his thigh wound. Either way, the odds were definitely not in his favour, and all Katniss could do was watch hopelessly, while Cato relished in their pain and agony.
She wanted to do anything; anything at all to wipe that damned smirk off his lips and snuff out the flickers of amusement in his cool blue eyes. If there was one thing Katniss could be counted on it was definitely not going down without a fight. But now, she was helpless. If she shot Cato, he'd go down with Peeta with him. And if she didn't... Peeta...
she didn't even want to think about it.
It was idiotic, she knew. If she was viewing this from an entirely realistic and objective point of view, as Tribute of the Hunger Games and not Peeta's comrade (she wasn't sure what they were, anymore) then this would have been a good thing - allowing her competition to finish each other off, so that she wouldn't have the deed of killing Peeta himself hanging over her head. But she couldn't do it. Those moments in the cave... they changedeverything. And, because of them, everything seemed to blur into one chaotic mess.
For the odds were never very dependable in Katniss' favour.
Stricken with both horror and awe at how much she had truly come to care for Peeta, a boy associated with a feeling she herself was unsure of, Katniss knew right then and there that she needed Peeta much more than she needed anything else in the world.
She needed Peeta to survive.
The gravity of their grave situation came falling down on her once more, and when she saw Peeta's eyes go blank momentarily, everything she had fought against let loose - the next thing she knew, tears pricked at her grey Seam eyes, while she heard a voice crying out, pleading and shrieking.
It took her a few moments to realise it was her own.
"Peeta, you can't - !" she screamed, logic and inner-calm flying out the window as she lunged forward, hand outstretched to grasp Peeta's own, close, so close, so close that she could almost - !
his hand was gone.
It was all in slow-motion, like those horrible scenes one would see in the movies, the audience watching in horror, knowing the terrors that would unfurl yet remaining completely helpless, with nothing to do to stop it.
For Katniss, watching Peeta flung to the side of the Cornucopia and into the sea of rabid Mutts was one of those moments now.
At that moment, Katniss was sure the world was truly a hideous, cruel, rotting thing, snatching away the last thing that could convince her otherwise.
At that moment, something shattered and fell apart.
At that moment, Katniss Everdeen had lost all hope in the world.
It can't be... no... it can't... Peeta... Peeta...
PEETA!
"PEETA!" Katniss screamed, Cato unsure whether it was she or Peeta's cries that were more pain-filled. All of a sudden, Katniss flung herself to the edge of the large, golden horn, her eyes wide with terror while her lungs burned with pain. She refused to stop calling for him, fists clenched as all hope slipped from them. Finally, after a few moments, all logic came flloding back into her as she felt her outstretched hand lower in defeat. "Peeta, no..." she whispered, heart literally bursting at the seams as she realised what she had to when his screams of despair finally sent her the message.
Put me out of my misery.
After a second of silence, Katniss picked herself up from the ground, Peeta's screams and whimpers still echoing throughout the battlefield as she pulled an arrow from her quiver, head downcast and eyes hard as flint whilst Cato stood on the golden surface, close yet so distant from her. All he could do was watch as her fingers tightened around the weapon that had once granted pain and death. Now, it only granted peace and a release from all the suffering.
She had to do it.
She had to kill the Boy with the Bread.
The boy whom she had only realised just now, to her utter self-loathsomeness, she had grown to love.
She had to kill Peeta.
"Peeta..." Katniss whispered, words heavy with grief and pain, as she raised her arrow and bow, aim right and true,
"I'm so... so sorry..."
a flick of the wrist -
and it was done.
The only confirmation of her deed accomplished was the mournful echoing of a cannon firing.
He was dead.
But she wouldn't allow herself to cry, or mourn or weep. Crying would do Peeta no good (now that he was dead), and if the Hunger Games had taught her anything, it was that life and its harsh realities did not condone sentiments and mourning; rather it stepped right over it and kept moving forth. She could do it when her father had died, she'd done it when her mother literally allowed herself to waste away, she'd done it when she had been appointed the position as District 12 Tribute... of course, there had been instances when she'd wept, but those were rare and fleeting; one of the few being Rue's death.
No, she would channel her emotions elsewhere.
Into revenge. Into the need to live.
If there was one thing she could do for Peeta, it would be to kill Cato. Cato, who had instigated this terrible turn of events; Cato, who had killed Thresh;
Cato, who had taken Peeta away from her...!
Instantly, Katniss felt her knees buckle slightly, but she wouldn't give in. Resisting the urge to simply pound her fists against the ground and cry out like an enraged animal, Katniss restrained herself. She wouldn't cry. Inwardly, she experienced a torrent of emotions, ranging from anguish to a blinding, destructive flame of hatred, but she wouldn't do it. She'd vowed she wouldn't to Peeta, and it was a promise she intended to keep. Trying to not completely let loose like a rampant animal, Katniss let out a choking sob, quaking from pure and simple unadulterated hatred. It was the best she could do for now, without appearing completely broken (even if she was) or far-gone to the rest of Panem. She'd been a survivor all her life, and she would keep carrying out that life-long mission to retain her life.
Even if her only joy in living was seeing the face of a very much dead Cato.
Katniss Everdeen. A Survivor, and now an Avenger.
As Katniss felt the anger and adrenaline and pure hate course through her veins, she knew. All these emotions... yes, this was what she needed. Not the sadness and sorrow of Peeta's death, she needed a distraction - and slipping into the role of a Survivor and Avenger was just what she wanted. No emotions, no attachments, no sentiments - just the simple want and need to kill and survive. She'd mourn over Peeta later, but right now she was perfectly fine with preoccupying herself with the duty to keep on living.
And, of course, the duty to kill Cato.
Consumed in her rage and bloodlust and sudden urge to murder him, with lightning fast reflexes Katniss' hand flew straight to a stray arrow lying idle on the golden surface of the Cornucopia, already swept into its bow, turning as quick as a whip to face him, bow and arrow ready to kill.
Seconds inched by like decades, each of the Tributes frozen and stuck-still, all the while Katniss' sharp stormy eyes piercing into Cato's blank blue own.
Blue just like Peeta's...
Eager to sever and eradicate any connection between the boy who stood right before her and the one whom she had loved, Katniss quickly broke eye-contact, instead focusing her eyes on his blonde hair.
The colour of wheat and butter... just like Peeta's... her heart panged with remorse.
No, he is nothing like Peeta. He is a monster! You have to kill him! Katniss told herself frantically, shaking her head slightly.
Her fingers fidgeted, as if eager to send the arrow shooting off, but something held her back.
Cato.
What was he doing? Savouring in her defeat, her lowest moment, relishing that he, Cato, had brought the girl from District 12 to her breaking point, and only he had the privilege of witnessing first-hand the fall of Panem's obviously most cherished Tribute, proud with his success at extinguishing the flames of the girl who was on fire? If so, she couldn't care less. All she cared about now was that Peeta was dead and there was nothing good and pure in the world anymore.
"Kill him", she could imagine Haymitch shouting furiously, as the whole of Panem watched with bated breaths whilst they sat in their silent shock and sick and twisted anticipation, faces twisted with grotesque grins, "kill him and get it over with! Kill him for killing Peeta!"
Again, time flowed and passed them by, and yet Katniss did nothing, staring into Cato's eyes, as if searching for answers that she had no idea she wanted or needed.
Again and again, the pulsating urge to kill him kept pounding against her heart and ribs, and still she remained frozen, Cato standing stock-still, so close and yet so distant, his body rigid and unmoving, face betraying no emotion at all.
Do something, she inwardly screamed at him, boiling with frustration and misguided confusion, do something, anything! Anything to make me want to kill you again, you sick bastard!
But there was nothing. No triumphant yell, not even a smug chuckle or an insult thrown her way. Silence. It only prolonged his imminent death and made Katniss all the more confused.
Now she wasn't sure what she was doing anymore.
One last time, she heard Haymitch's infuriated and frustrated voice resound in her head.
"Kill him!"
Now, she told herself determinedly, adjusting her aim slightly so that the arrow would fly straight into the tall boy's head, now is the time. I'm going to do it. I'm going to kill Cato. For Peeta, she reminded herself firmly, unbeknownst to the fact that her arrow was trembling in her hold, I'm going to kill him for making Peeta suffer. For taking him away from me, she thought, a pang of ache resounding within her chest.
Yes, she would do it. She would kill Cato and finally get it over with... leave the horrible Games behind her... try and get over the loss of Peeta...
For Peeta... she reminded herself once more, as she felt the flames of determination and anger ignite from within once more.
But Cato! What the hell was he doing, just standing there? Had he progressed to the stage of complete and utter idiocy during the past five minutes? Where was the Cato that she wanted to hate, the Cato who had killed so many, who had relished in the sight of his skin splattered with the blood of mere children, who were just trying to survive, who had killed her Peeta? Staring at the Cato in front of her now, she knew he was gone.
She would have to do whatever she could to get him back.
"You always said it would come down to me and you," she spat out bitterly to him, shamed and bewildered at how weak she'd appeared in front of him, in front of all of them, "and now we're here. What now, Cato? You slice me into shreds with that sword of yours?" she glared angrily at him, gesturing with a nod of her head towards the sword lying idle on the surface they stood on, "Or are you going to go for the more tragic and sadistic method; throwing me down to the Mutts to join Peeta? God knows I wouldn't mind." she growled spitefully towards him, realising that despite the fact she wanted to live another part of her, a smaller one, wanted all the sadness and hate to end too.
A Survivor she was, but perhaps it wasn't something she wanted to be afterall.
And yet, no response.
Levels of agitation ascending, and certain that the stability of her mental state was steadily decreasing as the minutes droned on, Katniss did not once lower her bow as she kept her eyes determinedly pinned on Cato. She would kill him, she swore to herself, Cato would not leave the Arena alive.
So why couldn't she do it?
Now, Katniss felt the hatred towards Cato ebb ever so gradually away, like sand slipping between her fingers, and it made something within her snap. Now, the hatred that had once propelled her on, the hatred derived from the fact that he had killed Peeta was substituted with another, entirely different kind of hatred. Though Katniss would cast it off as hatred to the world for putting her in such a position, and hatred to Cato for suddenly slipping into the role of an innocent and defenceless man, Katniss knew.
It was a hatred towards herself.
A hatred that would eventually lead to her self-destruction, yet nonetheless a hatred she decided to leave unattended to allow it to grow. Like a cancer, it would spread, seeping into every orifice of her being. Right now, however, she didn't care. Right then, she hated herself more than anything.It was Cato's fault, she'd try reasoning, Cato, trying to appear like the good-guy while I'm the crazy psycho bitch, pointing and waving the arrow around while he just stands there, unarmed! Cato, for making me seem like the monster!
Cato, for showing me how easily my life is shattered once Peeta went away...
Cato, for revealing how monstrous I really am within...
Me... I truly am a monster...
No!
It was the heat, that was all. The Games, they tended to do that to people. Make them go crazy. Briefly, Katniss supported this idea with the memories of that male Tribute who'd eaten his victims, to that one back from District 4 who'd had to be institutionalized for going mad after she was the only one who could survive the flood that had wiped out the others in the Arena. When you were in the Arena, you really weren't yourself. The Games... they made innocent children fight. The Tributes... they didn't want to hurt anyone. Everyone just wanted to survive.
It wasn't their fault... none of them were really monsters...
except, of course, Cato.
Cato, who had killed her Peeta.
Cato, who was now stripping himself of the flesh-coloured mesh-netting body armour that he had so clearly coveted and treasured as soon as he had gotten it. When Katniss heard the defence-mechanism fall to the floor, she knew then that she couldn't take it anymore.
There he stood, as tall and overpowering as ever, sword in hand and stripped of his fleshy body-armour. But why? briefly, Katniss tried to ascertain as to why at all he had made himself completely and utterly vulnerable to her arrows in the first place, but to no avail. If anything, it baffled and agitated her all the more.
Katniss didn't like it one bit.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she screamed furiously now, all common-sense and inner-peace demolished, "Why aren't you trying to kill me already? Isn't that what you wanted; to make me suffer and then to kill me? That's why you killed Peeta, wasn't it?" she shouted, almost hysterical, "You killed him just to make me suffer! From Day One you've always wanted to make me suffer defeat and die a slow, agonizing death! Well congratulations Cato, you've done it! I'm broken!" she confessed, as her mask fell apart, "So just do what you came to do - kill me! Do it then, Cato! Finish your job!" she implored angrily at him, voice trembling. "Kill me!"
Panting while her lungs burnt and chest heaved, Katniss let the bow clatter unceremoniously to the floor as she bent over, hands on knees, trying to catch her breath. Don't cry Katniss, don't cry... she told herself angrily, don't show them weakness, you pormised Peeta... don't cry...
Now, Cato took action. Taking one lumbering step forth, Katniss felt the pace of her heart quicken profoundly as she took an unsteady step back, hastily picking up her bow and arrow in defence. This is it, she thought, with almost a sense of relief flitting in through the fear settling in, he's back. Cato, the murderer, now off to finish you. You have to kill him, Katniss, She told herself, this is your last chance.
Another step forth. Approaching her very slowly, almost cautiously, Katniss quickly whipped her unkempt braided head around to ensure she didn't fall off, before taking another wary step back. A Survivor? she heard a voice sneer within her head, pathetic. A Survivor wouldn't take a step back from their enemy. What a coward.
"I will kill you!" Katniss screeched, hands shaking quite visibly now. And yet, Cato walked on, finally stopping right in front of her, their warm bodies mere centimetres apart.
"Then do it." he stated, voice devoid of any arrogance or even a hint of taunting, "Kill me."
She felt feverish, double-checking to see if she was hallucinating. It was her bad-ear, she was sure of it. Throwing everything off, making everything not make sense. Cato, throwing away the opportunity to kill her himself? It was crazy! Surely she was delusional.
Maybe I have gone insane afterall, Katniss inwardly mused with a bitter warmth seeping throughout her body.
And, to Katniss' utter and complete horror and dismay, she couldn't do it.
It was a brutal and ugly truth, and yet it was completely real in every way. Katniss Everdeen could not do it. She'd killed before, the boy who'd killed Rue being one of them, but now... angrily, Katniss clenched her fists, nails creating crescent-shaped indentations in her flesh as she struggled to come to terms with her situation. It was dumb, and it didn't make sense at all. Whether it was compassion, weakness or the fact that she had just possibly gone insane that prevented her, Katniss didn't know. But the ugly truth was she could not kill Cato.
In the end, she was nothing.
The old Katniss was completely and irrevocably gone.
She was broken.
Silence.
And then,
"Ladies and gentlemen," Claudius Templesmith's voice booms, Cato looking around wildly, Katniss all the while still astounded by what had just transpired, "due to popular demand, there has been a revision in the current rules enforced. So, we are pleased to announce that for the first time in history of the Hunger Games we have two Victors - Katniss Everdeen of District 12 and Cato Stone of District 2! These are your winners for the 74th Hunger Games, Panem! Congratulations!"
It takes Katniss only a little while before she blacks out.
A/N: I know, it sucks. But please review and tell me what you think :) An explanation for Cato's behaviour will be presented next chapter.