Special school, special teachers and special classes. Terri mourned her old life even as she was forgetting it. TBI became the magic initials, the locked door to all the things she had taken for granted. Relationships, career, future. All had been whisked away as Rick shoved her and she slammed her head onto the concrete block and the brain bleeds and blood clots began to erode away all hope of a normal future. TBI was traumatic brain injury.
The modeling career had dissolved like cotton candy on hot sticky little hands and tongues as more and more surgeries altered her appearance. The drooping of one eye effectively killed the modeling career. The short term memory problems made going back to Degrassi an impossibility. She was no longer able to carry a normal course load.
The kids in her new class scared her. There was Timmy, the boy who had fallen from a second floor window when he was two and had miraculously survived. Timmy had a violent temper and the tendency to slam his head into walls, which was why he wore a helmet. There was Antonio, deprived of oxygen at birth and he effectively could use only one hemisphere of his brain. He had struggled to learn to read and at 14 he could read surprisingly well but comprehended none of it. There was Wanda, a girl who had been thrown down the stairs by her drunken mother at age four and now functioned as a seven year old. Wanda was 15.
Terri rocked back and forth in her seat, her new habit. It was comforting. She would rock like that all day long and the teachers had been working on a behavior plan to decrease or eliminate that behavior. Her father would come and pick her up, smile at her so sadly. At least she was alive, he would console himself. At least he still had her. And he would think of his wife.
The day of the shooting at Degrassi her father came to pick her up as usual. Smiled his sad smile at her. He knew about the shooting, of course. It was all over the news, all over everything. Helicopters buzzing overhead. He wouldn't tell Terri. He wasn't sure if she could understand it, anyway.
Driving home, avoiding the knot of news vehicles and frantic parents going to Degrassi, praying that their child had been spared. Terri's father looked at her beside him, buckled up and rocking and humming to herself, unaware of the flurry of activity outside the car windows. Good. Let her be unaware. And he knew that sooner or later, no one was spared.
At home, helping her from the car, he nearly cried at the way she walked now. A funny drunken seasick walk, all balance and coordination gone. He gave her his hand and they walked up to the house. He got her a snack, settled her in front of the T.V. so he could prepare dinner.
"Dad?" she said, holing onto the doorframe of the kitchen to steady herself.
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
"I'm going upstairs, 'kay?"
"Sure,"
She informed him of every action, just like she had when she was ten years younger. He felt the tears in his eyes, thick and salty tears that never helped, that never healed.
Timid knock at the door. He crossed the kitchen and opened it. Ashley Kerwin stood on his front stoop, her eyes red and puffy. At least she survived, he thought. And he thought about how Terri's friends never came around anymore. Not Paige or Hazel or Ashley or Jimmy or Spinner. Not any of them and he didn't really blame them. What would they say? She was so different now.
"Hi, Mr. McGregor. Is Terri here?"
"Up in her room," he said, and watched as Ashley headed up there.
"Terri," she said, seeing her old friend rocking on her bed.
"Ash," Terri said, feeling the dim pull of recognition. This was Ashley. This girl used to be her friend in another time, another life. What was she doing in this one?
"Terri, do you know what happened today?" Ashley said. Terri shook her head no. She didn't know.
"Remember Rick?" Ashley said, peering into Terri's eyes.
"Rick. Rick?" Of course she knew that name. The cause of all the sorrow.
"Terri, Rick shot Jimmy today. And he might die," Terri opened her mouth in surprise, and clumsily put her arms around Ashley as she started to sob, uncontrollable sobbing. Terri patted her back, felt her shaking, and whispered that everything would be okay.