Disclaimer: I am a vegetarian. Is J.K.R veggie? No. Come on, you can put 2 and 2 together...
Please?
A/N: Really, really random, I know. It was just this idea off the top of my head, so I wrote it down. I will ad some more, and turn it into a drabble fic. IF I get enough reviews... The future of fanfiction is in YOUR hands. Boy should the world be freaking out now.
Sirius + Caffeine Trouble
"Help me Moony, the evil carrots are after me!" Sirius ran down screaming from the dormitories. He threw himself behind Remus' chair, trembling.
"The evil what?!" Remus shot up, book forgotten.
"Carrots, Mooney, carrots!" Sirius broke into fake tears, soaking the back of Remus' chair.
"Enough with the sobbing already, Pads. Next time you yell at me, make it something important. I thought James was dying, or something." Remus picked his book up, and began to read again.
"But… but Remy, the evil carrots!" whimpered Sirius. When he found he was being ignored, Sirius did three laps of the Gryffindor common room screaming, much to the delight of a few first years, who were the only people there. Everyone else, including James and Peter, were at lunch. Abruptly, Sirius stopped screaming. "I am going to lunch to eat some cheese." He announced. "Maybe if I eat cheese, the evil carrots will leave me alone. If so, the cheese shall herby be known from now onwards as the Benign Cheese of Healing." Remus sighed and followed Sirius out of the portrait hole. It did not seem fair to leave James with Sirius, especially as Sirius had had far too much black coffee that morning.
Down in the Great Hall, Remus took a handful of carrots and put them on his plate. "Remus! The evil carrots! NOOOOO!!" Ignoring Sirius, Remus bit into a carrot. Suddenly, he doubled over, clutching his stomach. "I think I'm going to be sick!" he groaned, before running out of the hall. "Think I should have told him we'd put puking spells on the carrots, rather than told him about Evil Carrots and Benign Cheese?" asked Sirius (on whom the coffee was beginning to wear off) as many other people ran from the hall, clutching their stomachs. "I think, dearest Padfoot," replied James, "that I should never, ever give you black coffee again, no matter how much you beg."
Remus was so going to kill them.
Marauder Morals: Never, ever give Sirius coffee, even if it's decaf.
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