Hi! Ok, so this is my FF story. I really hope you enjoy it! It's set in the world Kelly Armstrong, though there are some alterations. There are none of her characters in this story, just some of my own creation. The real action isn't going to start until chapter two! But this is an introduction to the characters. HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!

Do you know what fear really feels like? The feeling that can make you contemplate suicide to stop the pain? I do. Last Autumn my life violently changed course. And now, as I sit here and write this, I know that there's someone out there looking to kill me. I'm so frightened, but I have to be strong. I have no choice to be weak, though a moment of weakness is tempting as I feel tears in my eyes. But I chose to live the moment I killed my first; to give up now would be a waste of all I've done to survive.

Writing this now, my hands shaking and the sound of rain beating down on the car, I know that this will probably be my last entry. It's sad as I flick back to look at the pages filled with more innocent worries. But just to think, that if that one incidence hadn't happened, I would be free of this life. Death wouldn't even flicker into my mind and I might be smiling now instead of trembling.

But there's one thing I must say, to get it off my chest once and for all in what may be my last moments - I don't blame him, even though angry words fill these pages, I don't blame him. It wasn't his fault, I know that now. How could I have even contemplated the whole problem when there was so much hidden? I'm sorry. I write this, knowing that I should tell him. I will tell him. I just hope that we haven't come too late.

Brother, I love you. I always have and I always will. Please forgive me. Please hang on. We're coming.

Chapter one

"Come on Lucy! COME ON!" the shouts blurred out of my hearing as my thumping pulse echoed through my ears. My muscles burnt and my lungs begged for air as I pushed myself around the last corner. Georgie had been on my tail for the whole race, and I knew how good her sprint finishes were. I had to give everything, otherwise I had no chance.

I refused to glance over my shoulder, as I could feel her next to me. The crowd were screaming, and from their excitement I knew it had to be close. Gritting my teeth, I groaned as I pushed my muscles over the limit, my fists clenched, my face twisted as I ran towards the finish line.

Seconds later it flew past me and only then did I let my legs relax. I stumbled as my legs splayed out, muscles loose from the running. Gasping for air, I fell onto my knees and lent on my thighs, bent over, trying to recover.

I'd won, only by a mini-second, but I'd still won.

"Lucy! Oh you were amazing!" the familiar voice of my mother praised as she came over to me.

I didn't look up as she touched my shoulder; I was concentrating on blocking out the black dots splayed across my vision. "Thanks…" I tried my voice and coughed as my throat hurt.

"Where's my girl?" my dad's voice joined my mum, though all I could see were a pair of old sneakers. "Congratulations! I'm so proud of you!" A large hand hit my back and I almost chocked on my tongue. But my cough/choke obviously came across as an 'I'm about to cry', as two chubby arms wrapped around me, suffocating me further.

"We're so proud of you Lucy," my dad beamed.

Obviously recovering wasn't going to happen. Giving in, I stood up to reveal my parents grinning at me. My mum and dad are both extremely happy people. Dad is medium height and skinny as anything. Mum is short and plump, but it makes her cuddly and comforting. I didn't inherit anything from either of them, from mum's ginger hair to my dad's bad eyesight. But that might be because my brother and I were adopted.

"Thanks…" my voice was slightly better this time.

"Here sweetie, we brought you some water," my mum handed me a water bottle.

I took it and gulped down the water greedily, the cool liquid soothing my throat. It was October but the day was unusually humid. Sweat beaded my face, and my once white t-shirt was covered in sweat. Glancing around, I could see lots of people from school, though I couldn't care less about how I looked at this moment. I'd just won a race, it gave me partial immunity to my peers' opinions.

I took a break from drinking to ask a question that'd been probing my mind, "where's Tom?"

They glanced at each other and a rare emotion crossed my dad's face. He was angry. "I don't know. Him and his friends have taken off again. He left early this morning and I doubt he'll be back for the rest of the weekend."

I suppressed my disappointment. I knew that's where he'd be, thinking otherwise was naïve. He hadn't turned up to one of my races since the summer, why would this one be any different? "Oh well," I forced a smile, though for some reason I felt like I should defend my brother. "It doesn't really matter, it wasn't an important race. I missed his match on Wednesday."

My parents didn't comment on that. Instead, they decided to ignore it by calling over Georgie's parents.

I sighed and walked away before I could suffer the humiliation of my parents trying to be subtle. I limped as my left calf muscle decided not to relax. Wincing, I leant against one of the stands by the track so I could massage it.

The track was set in the outskirts of Hallenford, next to Hallenford School. Though, the town was so small it hardly had an outskirts. I liked it like that. It was a nice community and only a twenty minute drive from Vancouver. If life got boring here, we just popped to Vancouver for the weekend and that was enough to entertain the most adventurous of Hallenford.

"Lucy!" Someone called my name.

I looked up to see a six foot blonde haired boy walking towards me. It was Nate, a fellow long distance runner in my year. He was handsome in the fact that he was athletic and tanned, though I couldn't see him in anyway but a friend. We'd been training together for ten years now.

"Great race," he complimented as he came over.

I smiled, "did you watch closely? You could learn something." I teased, but winced as I moved my foot.

He frowned, "are you ok?"

I shrugged, rubbing my calf, "I don't know. I think I pushed myself a bit too hard going round the last bend."

"You want me to walk you home?" he asked, concerned.

I glanced over to my parents to see them in deep discussion. The races were over, and the results would be out in school that Monday, so the crowd was dispersing. But it looked like my parents would be talking for longer than I wanted to stay around.

I nodded, "that would probably be a good idea. Otherwise I could be here a while."

He chuckled and offered me his arm to lean on. I took it, swallowing my pride. We started to walk across the track, towards the main area of town.

Nate glanced towards me, "looks like you've truly messed up your leg this time."

"It's just a sprain, it'll be ok in the morning," I said, more trying to convince myself than anything. The muscle was still wound up tight, and I knew it wouldn't be better for at least a few days. I looked at him, "well done on your race, it was extremely close."

Nate smiled at me but it was tight. He'd come second in the 1500m, his best track event, and I could see he wasn't impressed.

I frowned, not liking him not being pleased, "it was amazing to come second Nate, especially since you were ill all last week."

Nate shrugged, helping me over the fence and onto the sidewalk, "I try not to make excuses Lucy, you know that."

"That's not an excuse!" I laughed but winced as my calf seized.

Nate looked at me, "are you ok?"

"Fine," I said but gasped as the pain shot through me, holding onto my calf in vain effort to ease it.

"No your not," he sat me down and straightened out my leg gently.

"Ow-ow-ow-ow," I gritted my teeth as he did it. Damn I'd really messed up my leg.

"You should see Dr. Roberts," he said, gently massaging it. "This doesn't look good."

"I'm fine! Will you stop being s-OW!" A huge spasm ran up my leg and I felt tears prick my eyes.

"Right, I'm taking you to Dr. Roberts," he took out his cell and dialled a number of the local taxi service. I grabbed it off him, and he looked at me, "Lucy!"

"I'm fine," I insisted. "I think it's just cramp."

Nate's blue eyes twinkled suspiciously at me, "ok…but at least let me call you a cab to get home?"

I handed him his mobile, "thank you." I said rather reluctantly as he dialled the number.

"Lucy? Darling?" My parents had finally stopped boasting to Georgie's and had come over. "Are you ok?" My dad asked worriedly.

I gave them a smile, which turned into a grimace, "I think I've injured my leg…Nate's just phoning up a cab to get me home."

My mum beamed at Nate and I groaned quietly to myself, "well aren't you the gentleman Nate? You really have to come over for dinner sometime."

Yet another attempt at my mum trying to play matchmaker. She was in love with Nate and was determined that we would get married and have lots of babies. Nate and I had discussed this and the outcome was us discussing the 'last person on earth' idea.

Nate smiled kindly at her, used to her awkward suggestions.

"Why don't you two come in the taxi with me?" I asked my parents.

My dad smiled, "it's ok, we like the walk, don't we dear?" He smiled at my mum.

She nodded, "yes, but here are the keys in case you get back before us." She handed me a set of keys.

"You sure you're ok?" My dad asked.

I nodded, trying to hide the pain I was feeling.

"Ok, well we'll see you two kids later then," my dad grinned at us both and they walked away, my mum saying something along the lines of 'oh, isn't he lovely? Think about what great grandkids they'll produce. Grandkids James!'

We watched them leave and I looked at Nate apologetically, "I don't know how many times I will have to apologize for them…"

Nate just laughed, "don't worry…I'm used to it."

I smiled at him, "maybe you could give any of my future boyfriends a briefing before they meet the horror of my parents?"

He chuckled, sitting down next to me, "they're not that bad!" He insisted.

"You're only saying that because you've known them your whole life," I replied, rubbing my calf. "I'll have to train any future boyfriends…maybe short exposures at first…"

Nate couldn't stop laughing, "come on! Your being a bit mean!"

I let a smile cross my lips, "I'm only joking."

I looked up as I saw Georgie approach us, looking happy. Her blonde hair bounced behind her and her small shorts made her legs look unfairly long, "hey." She smiled, but it faltered as she saw my look of pain, "are you ok?"

I smiled, "you were a good race, I think I injured myself because I had to run so hard."

She laughed, "you were a good race." Georgie looked at Nate, "well done in your race too. That finish was so close!"

Nate smiled, and I could see a bit of a flirt there, "thanks." He said, not denying it this time. I gave him a sideways look, but he didn't notice as he was watching Georgie's every move.

She looked at him and then me, "well, I was going to ask if you guys wanted to grab a pizza…"

I exchanged glances with Nate, I could tell he wanted to go. I knew he liked Georgie, and he never got to see her because they didn't share classes. Asking him to stay here with me seemed selfish. "I can't," I said. "I should get home, but Nate wouldn't mind. I'm sure."

Georgie beamed, obviously happy.

Nate looked at me, "are you sure?"

"It's not like I'm internally bleeding," I joked. "I'll be fine, go enjoy yourself."

He smiled at me, standing up, "take care."

I nodded. Georgie watched me worriedly, "are you sure you're going to be ok?"

"It's just a leg injury, plus there's a taxi coming…oh, here it is right now, great timing," Nate reached down and helped me stand up.

I hobbled over to the taxi and smiled as I saw Dave at the wheel. "Lucy! Oh, what have you done to yourself now?"

"Hi Dave," I smiled in greeting and got into the passenger seat, waving goodbye to Nate and Georgie. They stood together, watching me. Nate looked worried, but he was way too pleased about Georgie to be overly concerned for me. "Just injured my calf whilst running, nothing big." I winced.

Dave tutted, "always pushing yourself too hard."

I gave him a small smile, it was true, "I'm a tiny bit competitive."

He laughed, "a tiny bit? Don't be modest."

"I'm not that bad!"

He ignored me, "I remember, two summers ago, you were so eager to win the sack race that you cut a hole in the bottom of yours and ran the whole way?"

I opened my mouth in protest, "no one would have noticed if Lindsay hadn't snitched on me!" I grinned and he chuckled.

"A trickster in disguise."

We pulled down my street and I watched the houses go by. They were all the same, boring build. The only difference was the colour, and my parents had decided to go with white. Who says my parents have no imagination?

"Here we go," he pulled up outside my house.

"Thanks, I'll just pop inside, my purse is in there."

"Oh no, don't worry. You're injured, think of this like a ride in an ambulance."

I frowned, "but…"

"No buts, come on, its only a few dollars worth anyway."

"OK," I accepted reluctantly. "Thank you Dave," I smiled at him.

"Anytime,"

I got out of the taxi, and waved him goodbye as he drove off.

I turned and limped towards my house, fumbling with the keys to open the front door. My parents weren't back, and it didn't look like Tom was home. It seemed I'd be alone at home for a while.

The door opened and I walked in, taking in the familiar smell of home. It was a warm smell, a welcoming smell. It made me feel safe and secure.

Our house was medium sized, with enough room for a spacious spare bedroom. But the houses around here weren't pricey. Unless you were born here, it was unlikely you'd want to invest in a house here. Not that it wasn't a nice area. I loved it, but to outsiders it'd seem small and a bit boring.

I went left, into the sitting room and collapsed into an armchair. Letting out a groan of pleasure, I closed my eyes, my muscles relaxing into a bearable state. The pain in my leg faded slowly as I rested it, and I let a smile cross my lips.

"Ah!" I jumped as the phone rang next to my ear. My heart thumping, I looked at it angrily. "Stupid phone," I muttered and reluctantly picked it up. "Hello?"

"Am I talking to the non-stop winner, Lucy Marks?" Jordan's voice came down the phone, bringing a smile to my lips.

"You heard?"

"Aduh, any news travels at the speed of light in Hallenford, you should know that."

I chuckled, "yeah, I guess. So how's your arm? Will you be able to come out tomorrow?"

"I wouldn't miss it. Is your brother going to be there?"

Jordan had an obvious crush on my brother, which was more than awkward for me. "I have no idea, you know what he's been like recently."

She let out a wistful sigh, "he's such a free spirit, such a great thing about him…not to mention his body-"

"Ugh, please Jordan, I am his sister remember?"

"Damn, I'd sure hate to be you."

"Jordan!"

"Sorry," though she sounded anything else but sorry. "But seriously, he really needs a girl in his life…he hasn't had one since Michelle broke his heart."

I sighed, "yeah, I know…but it's difficult for anyone to get close to him when he keeps running off."

"I'd chain him up in my shed so he couldn't run away."

"That's illegal."

"Not if he's enjoying it it's not."

I suppressed a groan.

"Are you ok"?

"No," I muttered.

"You're annoyed because I'm talking about your brother again, aren't you?" she asked, reading me like a book.

"What would you say if I suddenly got a crush on one of your siblings?"

"Erm, I'd be kind of worried as I have two sisters."

A smile caught my lips, "you know what I mean!"

She laughed, "sure I do, are you sure there's something you're not telling me?"

"Ha ha, Jordan,"

"I know, I'm hilarious. Look, I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

"Sure," I replied.

"See you then."

"Bye," I put the phone down, groaning to myself.

The fact that Tom didn't get that Jordan liked him really emphasised the fact that boys don't take hints.

At eleven o'clock that night, whilst I was watching a late showing of 'Friends', I heard a car pull up in our drive. Mum and Dad were in bed, so it had to mean one thing.

"Tom," I muttered and stood up, limping over to the window and peeking through the curtains. I saw my brother getting out of an old jeep. I could see there were at least three people in the car, and my eyes narrowed slightly. I didn't care much for my brother's friends.

The car pulled away and I stepped away from the window as the front door opened.

"Home at last?" I asked as I stepped into the hallway.

Tom looked at me, a tired look in his golden eyes.

In looks, he was similar to me; brown haired, golden eyed and dark skinned. His hair was bleached by the sun, and gave him that 'outdoors' rugged look. He was handsome, but he didn't seem to care. No teenage worries crossed his mind since the summer…nothing seemed normal about him since the summer.

"Are you going to talk to me or ignore me?" I asked with a frown.

He looked at me, "how did your race go?" He asked half-heartedly.

"I won,"

I expected a smile at least, but got nothing but a simple, 'good.'

Any hope that my old brother had come back faded at that one word reply. I was about to give up and turn away, when I remembered Jordan's question. "Are you going to be here for tomorrow night?"

He hung his coat up on the rack and looked at me, "what's happening tomorrow?"

"Alex's party? You know, the one that happens every year? Or are you buggering off again?"

"I don't know,"

At least he was honest. "Come on Tom, please try to be there."

He let out a sigh, ruffling his hair sleepily, "I can't promise anything Lulu. I'm just a bit busy at the moment."

My heart warmed as he used his nickname for me, but I felt some anger rise, "you've been busy since the summer Tom."

"You wouldn't understand," he pushed past me, into the sitting room.

I stayed by the doorway, leaning against the frame, "understand what? That you have no time for your family?"

"It's too late to start this argument," he muttered as he sat down on the sofa.

I groaned and limped over to the TV to turn it off, so he'd listen to me.

He frowned as he saw me limping, "what happened to your leg?"

"You'd know if you'd been there today Tom," I said bitterly, flicking off the TV.

"Lulu!" he moaned. "Look, do we have to go over this now?"

"Promise me you'll come tomorrow."

"Bu-"

"Promise," I said more seriously this time.

Tom looked at me, his eyes meeting mine. I knew he could see how much this meant to me as his eyes softened, and he sighed, "fine…I promise."

I smiled in relief, "thank you."

"Can you turn the TV on now?" he smiled at me.

I smiled and flicked it on, going over to sit next to him. He watched me walk worriedly, "are you ok?"

I shrugged, "I'll be fine, just won't be doing much dancing tomorrow."

"Not that you have anyone to dance with," Tom replied.

"Oi!" I poked him and he chuckled, but there was a tightness to it. I watched him for a moment, concerned. Something was holding the old, carefree Tom back. Something big had happened this summer, and it had changed him. He'd gone camping trip with his three friends in the mountains. But I had a feeling something bad had happened, and he wasn't telling me about it.

"Why are you watching Friends?" Tom asked with a frown.

"Because it's funny, duh."

"Yeah, but you've seen every episode a hundred times. You even laugh before the jokes," he picked up the remote and flicked to a different channel.

"Tom!" I complained. "I was here first!"

"No, technically I was. You see you left the sitting room, so that means that the slate has been cleaned, and I sat down on the sofa first. So I get priority over the remote."

I looked at him for a long moment, "that is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard! Now give me the remote! Give it to me!"

We fought for a few minutes, but then decided we should probably get some sleep, though not before we managed to brake the remote. Hiding the evidence, we both went to bed, laughing to ourselves.

I went to bed with a smile on my face that night. I'd seen a glimpse of the old Tom tonight, and because of that I believed him. He'd be there. Only a glimmer of doubt crossed my mind.

The front doorbell rang and my mother shouted, "door!"

There was no instant movement in the house to get it. I waited for a while, and the doorbell rang again.

"For heaven's sake!" Came my mother's shout from the kitchen.

I grumbled and jumped up off of the sofa to answer it.

I opened the door with a smile, but when I saw who it was my smile went.

Rain stood there as handsome as ever, hands in pockets, chestnut hair ruffled on his head. His skin was sun kissed, and his amber eyes mischievous. He was every girls dream. But to me, he was a life wrecker. The moment he'd come into my brother's life was the moment I lost the brother I loved. And to me, that was all Rain's fault, and he knew it.

He looked at me, and I didn't hide the dislike in my eyes. "Is Tom in?"

"No," I lied, distaste clear in my voice.

"Is he going to be back soon?"

"Hopefully not."

Rain studied me for a moment, "are you like this with all Tom's friends or am I just a special case?"

"Well that depends on whether or not they're assholes," I looked at him.

Rain smiled tightly, "as much as I'm enjoying this conversation…if your brother's not here-"

"Rain!" My brother's voice called from behind me and I tensed.

A smile stretched across Rain's mouth, "hey Tom…Lucy said you weren't in?"

Tom looked at me.

I just shrugged, "what?" I said it, trying to seem like I didn't care, but there was colour in my cheeks. When I looked at Rain there was a smug smile on his lips and I scowled, turning to my brother, "you better be back for tonight."

Tom frowned, "tonight?" I went to reply angrily but Tom grinned, "of course, will you calm down?"

I muttered something, giving Rain a glare before going into the house.

They left a few moments later, and I flopped into a chair.

He better make it…my heart sprung with hope with the idea that he might actually keep his promise.