Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.
An: I had no intention of making 'Choice' anything more than a one shot fic, for reasons that shall remain
unknown. But, I shall try to continue on with quality.
Forced Choices
By: Junshin Aino
Chapter 1
Life can be very beautiful at times, and at others, unaccountably cruel.
From that first moment until now, I have received a letter from Rei, asking how life is for me, what I'm
doing with my life, how things are going with Mamo-chan. I wish to write back and send happy greetings,
but I can't bring myself to do so. I… just can't.
I was determined to accept the life I have chosen for myself, until that moment when I opened Rei's letter
and found her posing so many innocent questions that tore into my soul. Why, I ask myself, why can't I
just accept things and let her go? But I can't…
I have asked Mamo-chan to allow to me attend college here, to go to the same college where he works
and study nutrition. He has not told me 'no', but I can tell from his tone of voice that he doesn't wish for
me to learn… anything. He wishes for me to nothing, to remain an ignorant little girl, solely dependent on
him. I wonder why, searching my heart and soul for answers, and find none that are not painful, none that
are acceptable.
Once more I let the rain soak me to the skin, knowing that I will not become ill because of my
ginzouishou. The rains are chilling and violent, pounding against my delicate skin, but I don't care, the
stinging helps lessen the pain within me.
The sounds that are being made hold a steady rhythm, one that is almost soothing. The taste of the rain
is cleaner than I expected, as I open my mouth and allow the large drops to fall upon my tongue.
Four days since my gift, and three since her letter. Four more nights of dreams filled with her, nagging at
my conscious and body.
What am I to do? I whisper mournfully into the storm, ignoring the lightening that cracks the sky and
lights the apartment grounds below me. The thunder rolls ominously along after the lightening, sending
me back into the apartment with a frightened squeak.
I walk slowly to my bedroom, stripping down until I am naked, soaking in the warmth of the room. Slowly
I gather new underwear, a new bra, new pants and a shirt, and socks. I study my selection, wondering for
a brief moment what Rei would think of my selection, but knowing she'd just tell me to hurry and get
dressed.
I take my time, imagining that she was dressing me.
The night has already reached seven in the evening, and Mamoru isn't home yet. I wonder where he is,
why he hasn't called me, even briefly, during one of the lulls in the storm. I worry about him.
Once warm I eat dinner by myself, without being able to taste what I'm eating. Meals alone always seem
so bland…
The necessary meal done, I light a candle that smells like Casablanca, and wonder how my friends are
doing, though I know how ridiculous that is, considering the time difference. With the scent of the
Casablanca candle, and the quiet buzz of Dinotopia in the background, I fall asleep.
The lack of sound is, oddly enough, what wakes me up. I shit in bed slightly, sighting the clock.
3:22 am
Mamoru has come home. He walks over and glares at me when I sit up to great him.
"Usagi!" his voice has to be loud enough to wake the neighbors, "you fell asleep with a candle burning,
how could you be so irresponsible?"
I flinch and stare down at the leopard patterned comforter in shame, "gomen, Mamo-chan," I whisper as
apologetically as I can. He continues to stare down at me, but says nothing more before stripping down to
his boxers and climbs into bed. I try to move close to give him a hug, but he shrugs me off. I can smell
something in the air, other than my candle.
In the darkness I hear the anger and sorrow in his voice all too clearly.
"I'm sorry Usagi, I did something tonight that I should have never done."
I edge as close to him as he allows, my own voice low and soothing, "What is that, Mamo-chan?"
He rolls out of bed and onto his feet to avoid me, then walks to the window and stares out into the storm
clouds. "I… fell in love."
I'm frozen in place, unable to move or speak, unable to think. He fell in love? That's impossible!
Mamo-chan loves me… In silence he gets dressed again, then turns to me. "I'm sorry Usa, but I can't stay
here tonight. I'll go to a hotel, and we can talk tomorrow." He runs out of the apartment before I can
answer.
I still can't think, I'm held to closely by shock.
Somewhere in the night, I pass into sleep without realizing it.
= = = = = =
The next morning I'm hopeful that everything is just a dream, and I walk to the store to pick up a new
outfit, one that Mamo-chan said would look especially nice in. It's expensive compared to what I normally
buy, but for him, I would do anything.
Wouldn't I?
An image of Rei nags at the back of my mind, refusing to leave me alone. She would have liked this dress
as well.
I return home as quickly as I can, my self-reassurance failing in the face of the memory of Mamoru
leaving last night. I unlock the door, and enter my home as quickly as I can, only to be faced with my
worst nightmare.
Mamoru I standing inside, waiting for me, his arm around a red haired woman with large breasts,
expressive green eyes, and an athletic build. Her clothes are sophisticated, and she exudes confidence and
intelligence.
Things I obviously don't possess.
I stand there, mouth hanging open, and the woman disengages herself from Mamoru's arm and moves
past me, leaving the apartment. I try to say something, and fail.
Mamoru flicks his hand, beckoning me to enter, and then he head to the bedroom.
Numbly, I follow. There, in boxes, are all the things that I own. Not much compared to what we owned
together, but these things are mine alone, and precious to me. "What…" I ask, unintelligently.
He flinches slightly, but keeps a straight face. "Usagi, I signed out lease, and I have the full right to ask
you to leave. Marian will be moving in with me tomorrow, and so your things need to be gone. I know
your sub-space pocket from your senshi days can hold all of your things. I've placed half of my saving into
a separate account for you, so you can't sue me. I suggest you go to a hotel."
"But… our marriage" I can tell my voice is a tad hysterical, but I can't bring myself to care.
He pointed to a set of papers on the bed, with a black pen sitting beside them. Divorce papers… and he
has already signed them. Feeling sick I sign them as he asks, reminding myself that since I love him, I
must let him go when he wishes it. And he definitely wants me to let him go.
Methodically I send my possessions into my sub-space pocket, and take the atm card he had made for
me. Silently, I leave, the bitter taste of despair choking me. I manage to spare a moment of gratitude that
the car is mine and mine alone, as I get in and make my way to the highway, searching for a hotel.
= = = =
Somewhere, amidst all my despair, I find myself standing in front of the door of the only friend I have,
and she not a very close one. Still, I should at least tell her goodbye, shouldn't I? I knock, and no one
answers. I knock again, and hear her dog bark. I knock a third time, but with no answer I give up. Quickly
I write a goodbye note for her, and post it too her door, before leaving.
My mind takes me to a park, one I used to love going to when I had Mamoru. I can't believe that only two
days has passed since Mamoru made me leave my home of a year. Resolutely I find the most private
place here in the park, and grasp my transformation broach. Holding it above my head I call out my
Eternal henshin phrase, finding comfort in my Sailor Fuku.
I walk back to my car, carrying my Tier with me, clutching it tightly in my hands. Stopping in front of the
car I stop, and raise my tier. Pure shining light is emitted, and I lose sight of everything. This blindness
only lasts a moment, and when the light fades I find myself in far away from my original location.
I hear the cries of Phobo and Demos, and look around. I'm in Japan, in front of Rei's temple. Oh god… I'll
see her again, and she'll want to kill Mamoru for abandoning me…
I can't cope with this, not at the moment.
I hear her call my name, her voice full of shock, as the world turns black.
= = = = = = = = = = = =
To Be Continued:
Special thanks to Alcandre, Balticbard, and biki.
An: I had no intention of making 'Choice' anything more than a one shot fic, for reasons that shall remain
unknown. But, I shall try to continue on with quality.
Forced Choices
By: Junshin Aino
Chapter 1
Life can be very beautiful at times, and at others, unaccountably cruel.
From that first moment until now, I have received a letter from Rei, asking how life is for me, what I'm
doing with my life, how things are going with Mamo-chan. I wish to write back and send happy greetings,
but I can't bring myself to do so. I… just can't.
I was determined to accept the life I have chosen for myself, until that moment when I opened Rei's letter
and found her posing so many innocent questions that tore into my soul. Why, I ask myself, why can't I
just accept things and let her go? But I can't…
I have asked Mamo-chan to allow to me attend college here, to go to the same college where he works
and study nutrition. He has not told me 'no', but I can tell from his tone of voice that he doesn't wish for
me to learn… anything. He wishes for me to nothing, to remain an ignorant little girl, solely dependent on
him. I wonder why, searching my heart and soul for answers, and find none that are not painful, none that
are acceptable.
Once more I let the rain soak me to the skin, knowing that I will not become ill because of my
ginzouishou. The rains are chilling and violent, pounding against my delicate skin, but I don't care, the
stinging helps lessen the pain within me.
The sounds that are being made hold a steady rhythm, one that is almost soothing. The taste of the rain
is cleaner than I expected, as I open my mouth and allow the large drops to fall upon my tongue.
Four days since my gift, and three since her letter. Four more nights of dreams filled with her, nagging at
my conscious and body.
What am I to do? I whisper mournfully into the storm, ignoring the lightening that cracks the sky and
lights the apartment grounds below me. The thunder rolls ominously along after the lightening, sending
me back into the apartment with a frightened squeak.
I walk slowly to my bedroom, stripping down until I am naked, soaking in the warmth of the room. Slowly
I gather new underwear, a new bra, new pants and a shirt, and socks. I study my selection, wondering for
a brief moment what Rei would think of my selection, but knowing she'd just tell me to hurry and get
dressed.
I take my time, imagining that she was dressing me.
The night has already reached seven in the evening, and Mamoru isn't home yet. I wonder where he is,
why he hasn't called me, even briefly, during one of the lulls in the storm. I worry about him.
Once warm I eat dinner by myself, without being able to taste what I'm eating. Meals alone always seem
so bland…
The necessary meal done, I light a candle that smells like Casablanca, and wonder how my friends are
doing, though I know how ridiculous that is, considering the time difference. With the scent of the
Casablanca candle, and the quiet buzz of Dinotopia in the background, I fall asleep.
The lack of sound is, oddly enough, what wakes me up. I shit in bed slightly, sighting the clock.
3:22 am
Mamoru has come home. He walks over and glares at me when I sit up to great him.
"Usagi!" his voice has to be loud enough to wake the neighbors, "you fell asleep with a candle burning,
how could you be so irresponsible?"
I flinch and stare down at the leopard patterned comforter in shame, "gomen, Mamo-chan," I whisper as
apologetically as I can. He continues to stare down at me, but says nothing more before stripping down to
his boxers and climbs into bed. I try to move close to give him a hug, but he shrugs me off. I can smell
something in the air, other than my candle.
In the darkness I hear the anger and sorrow in his voice all too clearly.
"I'm sorry Usagi, I did something tonight that I should have never done."
I edge as close to him as he allows, my own voice low and soothing, "What is that, Mamo-chan?"
He rolls out of bed and onto his feet to avoid me, then walks to the window and stares out into the storm
clouds. "I… fell in love."
I'm frozen in place, unable to move or speak, unable to think. He fell in love? That's impossible!
Mamo-chan loves me… In silence he gets dressed again, then turns to me. "I'm sorry Usa, but I can't stay
here tonight. I'll go to a hotel, and we can talk tomorrow." He runs out of the apartment before I can
answer.
I still can't think, I'm held to closely by shock.
Somewhere in the night, I pass into sleep without realizing it.
= = = = = =
The next morning I'm hopeful that everything is just a dream, and I walk to the store to pick up a new
outfit, one that Mamo-chan said would look especially nice in. It's expensive compared to what I normally
buy, but for him, I would do anything.
Wouldn't I?
An image of Rei nags at the back of my mind, refusing to leave me alone. She would have liked this dress
as well.
I return home as quickly as I can, my self-reassurance failing in the face of the memory of Mamoru
leaving last night. I unlock the door, and enter my home as quickly as I can, only to be faced with my
worst nightmare.
Mamoru I standing inside, waiting for me, his arm around a red haired woman with large breasts,
expressive green eyes, and an athletic build. Her clothes are sophisticated, and she exudes confidence and
intelligence.
Things I obviously don't possess.
I stand there, mouth hanging open, and the woman disengages herself from Mamoru's arm and moves
past me, leaving the apartment. I try to say something, and fail.
Mamoru flicks his hand, beckoning me to enter, and then he head to the bedroom.
Numbly, I follow. There, in boxes, are all the things that I own. Not much compared to what we owned
together, but these things are mine alone, and precious to me. "What…" I ask, unintelligently.
He flinches slightly, but keeps a straight face. "Usagi, I signed out lease, and I have the full right to ask
you to leave. Marian will be moving in with me tomorrow, and so your things need to be gone. I know
your sub-space pocket from your senshi days can hold all of your things. I've placed half of my saving into
a separate account for you, so you can't sue me. I suggest you go to a hotel."
"But… our marriage" I can tell my voice is a tad hysterical, but I can't bring myself to care.
He pointed to a set of papers on the bed, with a black pen sitting beside them. Divorce papers… and he
has already signed them. Feeling sick I sign them as he asks, reminding myself that since I love him, I
must let him go when he wishes it. And he definitely wants me to let him go.
Methodically I send my possessions into my sub-space pocket, and take the atm card he had made for
me. Silently, I leave, the bitter taste of despair choking me. I manage to spare a moment of gratitude that
the car is mine and mine alone, as I get in and make my way to the highway, searching for a hotel.
= = = =
Somewhere, amidst all my despair, I find myself standing in front of the door of the only friend I have,
and she not a very close one. Still, I should at least tell her goodbye, shouldn't I? I knock, and no one
answers. I knock again, and hear her dog bark. I knock a third time, but with no answer I give up. Quickly
I write a goodbye note for her, and post it too her door, before leaving.
My mind takes me to a park, one I used to love going to when I had Mamoru. I can't believe that only two
days has passed since Mamoru made me leave my home of a year. Resolutely I find the most private
place here in the park, and grasp my transformation broach. Holding it above my head I call out my
Eternal henshin phrase, finding comfort in my Sailor Fuku.
I walk back to my car, carrying my Tier with me, clutching it tightly in my hands. Stopping in front of the
car I stop, and raise my tier. Pure shining light is emitted, and I lose sight of everything. This blindness
only lasts a moment, and when the light fades I find myself in far away from my original location.
I hear the cries of Phobo and Demos, and look around. I'm in Japan, in front of Rei's temple. Oh god… I'll
see her again, and she'll want to kill Mamoru for abandoning me…
I can't cope with this, not at the moment.
I hear her call my name, her voice full of shock, as the world turns black.
= = = = = = = = = = = =
To Be Continued:
Special thanks to Alcandre, Balticbard, and biki.