Chapter 1 -Tempers Flare

"Will you stop tick-tacking about like that!" James snapped. He had managed to avoid being dumped in the mud at Quidditch practice that night and was trying for a good night's sleep.

"Sorry." Sirius quietly left the room and went downstairs to sit on the sofa. He rested his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands and miserably watched a line of moonlight move slowly around like a spoke on the floor. He felt as if the whole world had conspired against him to make his life as miserable as possible. The moonlight had moved to hover over a portrait of a fat man snoozing in a room that mirrored the Gryffindor common room. Sirius chewed on his lip as he watched the man in the portrait snore. He appeared to be letting out great puffs of air that made the purple plumes on his head wave up and then sucking in wheezy little breaths causing the feathers to shrink back down and tickle his nose.

Sirius was nearly asleep, when he heard a soft creak. The Gryffindor portrait opened and someone stepped in, someone that the moon revealed to have wavy brown hair.

"Remus?" he couldn't betray the surprise in his voice. The figure stood frozen for a couple of seconds.

"What on earth are you doing? I thought you were asleep?" Sirius frowned into the dark. His friend's curtains had been drawn about his bed earlier, as they usually were when he was asleep. What was Remus playing at?

"Oh, you're awake," Remus said. He still hadn't moved closer to the couch. Something was wrong. Sirius fumbled for his wand.

"Lumos." He murmured.

Remus turned his head away from the light but not before Sirius saw how pale he was and how thin his face looked, skin stretched over his cheekbones, eyes lined with dark circles.

"What's wrong Rem?" His heart sped up. A few more seconds of silence and then Remus said,

"I was just taking a walk." He gave Sirius what he obviously hoped to be a reassuring smile. Sirius didn't buy it. He got up and moved to hold one of Remus's shoulders.

"Like hell you were." He said softly. Why wasn't Remus looking him in the eyes? "Rem? What's wrong, come on."

"Just drop it Sirius, I'm fine," he said and he pushed Sirius's hand from his shoulder. Sirius' frown deepened. He grabbed Remus's arm.

"You trust me don't you?" he couldn't quite manage to keep the hurt out of his voice. Remus picked up on it and Sirius saw him visibly bristle.

"This has nothing to do with that. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed, I'm tired and I've got an arithmancy exam tomorrow." He moved away again.

"Actually I do mind." Sirius said, "You've been acting really strangely lately. Maybe the others haven't noticed, but I have. You keep-" But Sirius was cut off.

"If the others haven't noticed, perhaps you're imagining things," Remus said.

"Don't give me that!" Sirius snarled. The moon had slipped behind the clouds so he raised his wand to better light Remus's face.

"You hardly eat anymore, your transformations have gotten worse –yes-," he said, "I've noticed that and you spend the whole day in the library. We haven't done anything together in god knows how long."

And then suddenly, and Sirius had no idea how, Remus had him backed against the wall, wand poking into Sirius's chest.

"And you?" Remus snapped. His eyes were blazing. "How open have you been lately? How dare you tell me to open up when you shrug off every concern we express! James might be distracted by Lily but even he's worried. Peter's also asked." He pressed his wand further into Sirius's chest.

"That's different." Sirius said, "That's my personal business."

Remus glared at him for a few seconds and then withdrew his wand, "Yeah, and this is my personal business too." And he left the room

"Nox!" Sirius snarled at his wand. The room shrank back into darkness. Sirius clenched his fists. He had to will himself to breath deeply to stop from casting incendio on the leering couch. The moon peered from behind the clouds again. Sirius paced over the lattice pattern of light that was reflected on the stone floor. He wanted to shout what a bastard Remus was, he wanted to wake up everyone in the castle, he wanted to slap all the Slytherins and…and he wanted to shake some sense into his damned stupid brother.

He wasn't sure for how long he'd paced, but after at least ten minutes, his breathing has resorted to a more normal pace. His chest deflated slightly. Perhaps he'd been too brash. He had lost his temper again. Perhaps he should have apologized for his behavior and told Remus what was going on. But a little voice in the back of his head whispered, 'ah, but he's not telling you something either, is he? Could it be that the whomping willow episode is not really over with…after all, James and Peter haven't mentioned his behavior…maybe they're in on his secret…but you, you don't deserve to be, do you? You can't be trusted.' Sirius bit back on his tongue. That little voice had been plaguing him for a year. After the nightmare month that had followed the whomping willow incident, He had worked judiciously to try and sort out his attitude and he had gotten better at managing his anger, that was until this year, until…But he blocked off his thoughts. This was about Remus, nothing else. He sighed in defeat. If he wanted Remus to trust him, he was going about it the wrong way. He quit his pacing to stare out the window. The great lake shimmered with reflections from the stars and Sirius could see that the wind had picked up. The forbidden forest was swaying in the distance, as if it were one tree and not hundreds of thousands. He thought he'd better go and fix some of the mess he'd made.

When Sirius entered the room, Remus's curtains were drawn shut. Only James's quite snoring could be heard. He closed his eyes and willed himself not to screw this up.

"Remus?" he whispered. He waited. A hand reached out and drew the burgundy curtains apart. Remus was leaning against the headboard. He had changed into his full-length pajamas. Briefly Sirius wondered if he'd made a mistake coming here. Maybe their little tiff would all have been forgotten by morning. Somehow he doubted it.

"Yes?" Remus said.

Sirius braced himself and plunged forward, "Listen Rem, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out at you like I did and…well, I'm sorry."

Remus regarded him for a while and then sighed,

"Come on in." He beckoned Sirius forward. When Sirius was seated cross-legged on Remus' bed, Remus drew the curtains shut and muttered a quiet 'silencio'.

For a short time, both friends just looked at each other. Sirius wondered how he was going to string together his entire story but before he could start, Remus took over.

"I'm sorry too Sirius. This keeping secrets from each other isn't working for us." He gestured between them and then looked down in exhaustion. "I've been having a bit of a problem with the Ministry of Magic. It's nothing to worry about!" he rushed on, seeing Sirius begin to open his mouth, "It's just a little frustrating to have them keeping tabs on me. They started a program this year that requires all half breed creatures to report their every move to the ministry." He paused for a moment,

"I know I shouldn't be too bitter about it, I can't blame them really. In such horrible times like these, pe-werewolves will be werew-"

"Don't." Sirius said. He placed his hand on Remus's knee, "You're more of a person than most." Remus didn't say anything and Sirius could tell he didn't agree.

"I mean it Moony." He said and then added, 'what kind of things do you have to report?"

Remus shrugged, "Silly things really. Have to get them to sign an extra note allowing me into Hogsmeade on the weekends or allowing me onto the Hogwarts express."

"Is that why you didn't come with us those first two weeks?" he was frowning again. Remus nodded.

"Those slimy bastards." Sirius hissed. "Rem, how come you never mentioned anything?"

"Didn't want you guys to worry," Remus said. "James was so excited to finally get a date with Lily and you seemed to have a lot on your mind as well."

Sirius had the grace to look guilty.

"Look, don't take it personally Padfoot, It's not that big of a deal, it's just frustrating to feel so…so…boxed in. They automatically assume that because I'm a werewolf I have a much higher chance of being recruited as a spy by Voldemort." Sirius shook his head and rolled his eyes,

"Now that's just stupid. It's not as if any death eaters have come knocking at your door, have they?" Expecting Remus to at least smile and shake his head, he was surprised at the lack of a response and was momentarily taken aback, "have they?" he asked again, rather more tentatively. Surely it wasn't possible…

"But they have," Remus whispered and he looked up at Sirius, blue eyes a pale ghostly colour. "They've been knocking for a while now Padfoot." Sirius stared. He didn't want to believe it, not Remus as well, not after…no, it couldn't be.

"And what have you been saying?" Sirius all but whispered. The glassy look left Remus's eyes and he scowled.

"What do you think I've been saying? No, of course! Honestly do you really think I'd even consider-" but he didn't finish his sentence. He was cut off when Sirius lunged forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Remus. He was shaking. Taken by Surprise Remus didn't immediately return the hug. When it was clear That Sirius wasn't going to let go anytime soon he wrapped his arms around Sirius as well and awkwardly patted his back.

"Sirius, what's the matter?" Suddenly Sirius was grasping Remus' shoulders and when Remus looked into his friend's eyes, he could see terror flashing through them.

"Promise me, Rem, promise me that no matter what, no matter how great they can make it, no matter what they can give you, you'll never join them, promise me."

"Sirius," Remus said, "what's this about?"

"Promise me!" Sirius tightened his grip on Remus's shoulders.

"I promise." Remus said, "But Pads, you can't possibly think I'd join them. Who in their right mind would?" And it was as if a light had gone off in Remus's head. He looked strangely at Sirius before gently moving to rest his own hands on Sirius's knees.

"It's Regulus, isn't it?" he said.

Sirius nodded miserably. His vision was blurring and as hard as he tried to blink away the tears, he couldn't.

Two warm arms enveloped him and held him tightly.

"He's one of them now." Sirius whispered, "After all our conversations last year, he joined them. He couldn't stand up to mum and dad. Oh Moony, he's gone. They're going to kill him. And if they don't, our side will."

"Sssh," Remus said rubbing circles over Sirius's back, "Sssh Siri." He didn't contradict Sirius and he didn't ask, he just held him tightly. And despite feeling selfish and ridiculously childish, Sirius let himself sob into his friend's shoulder. When his shaking had subsided, Remus pulled the bed covers back.

"Stay here tonight Pads."

Sirius nodded and sank into the mattress beside Remus, sniffling slightly. Remus brushed his hair aside and murmured comforting words beside him.

"Thanks Moony," Sirius said. He grasped Remus's hand, "I'm sorry about-"

"Don't apologize" Remus said, "just sleep." Sirius smiled at his friend and then nodded. And for the first time in weeks, Sirius was able to drift into a dreamless sleep. All the while Remus lay watching his friend's breathing slow down, occasionally reaching up to brush Sirius' hair aside and with his own smile, he looked down at their still grasping hands. With a sigh, he too soon drifted off.

Title inspired by Joe Dolan's song 'Make me an island'. Thought it was a very befitting song, pity I'm not writing an angsty one-shot. It'd probably be quite useful there…anyway, hope you all enjoyed, wrote it in one sitting. Tell me what you think, Review kind souls, review!!!