Just a little thing that forced me to write it after last night's episode. Hopefully it's funny. Please tell me where I could improve, and point out my mistakes.
I apologize if this is too OOC. This is my first attempt at writing anything for these characters and Supernatural.
"So, Cas, we need to talk," said Dean as he sat down beside the dark haired man. Castiel neatly folded the newspaper he had been reading before turning to his friend with an expectant smile.
"So, uh... Well, the thing is...," Dean ran his fingers through his short hair, wishing he could just give him the information and run. He couldn't, though, those big blue eyes were going to have questions, lots and lots of questions.
"When a man and a woman – or a man and a man! - have, uh, intercourse, there are fluids that are -" He began making vague hand gestures when Cas interrupted him.
"I am aware of how the reproductive process works, Dean."
"Oh, uh, good." Dean nodded to himself, focusing on the table. The newspaper was tipped so that if he turned his head slightly he could make out the headline: Church Installs New Protection.
"Is that all you wished to speak with me about?"
"Oh, uh, no." Dean cleared his throat. "The thing is, these fluids can cause things to happen. Someone could get pregnant. Or an STI or HIV."
"These... are not good things." Cas was starting to get confused. He was leaning in slightly, giving him his full attention, and Dean could see a slight line between his eye-brows. He stared deep into his eyes, willing him to understand.
"No. You could die because of them."
Dean thought Cas looked slightly disappointed with this news.
"But that doesn't mean you have to stop having sex! You just have to be careful who you have sex with and use protection."
"Protection." Dean could see that he'd lost Cas. "But how is a knife supposed to stop fluids...?"
"Not that kind of protection, Cas." He pulled a box of condoms out of his pocket and set it on the table. "You use one of these."
Cas picked the box and read. "Ultra-Strength Condoms."
"Yeah. You put one on your penis before you have sex and take it off once you're done," Dean said in a rush. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He knew that his face must be a spectacular shade of red.
"On my... how?"
"It just rolls on. Then it works like a rain jacket and keeps off the... rain," he finished lamely. "It fits just like a second skin."
He looked at Cas and Cas looked back, lips slightly parted and brow furrowed. Yeah, he was completely lost.
"Look, you take this box, look at them, try one out. Come to me if you have any questions. Just be sure to use one every time... well." He stood up. "So, I'm going to go... uh, over there."
He started to walk quickly out of the room when Cas' voice stopped him. "Dean."
He turned around. "Yeah?"
"Thank you. I know this is difficult for you, and... Thank you."
Green eyes looked into blue. Dean could feel his face softening. "That's what family does."