Loneliness
Written for the 10_quotes community at LJ, inspired by the quote "Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man... June 8th. My life has taken another turn again. The days can go on with regularity over and over, one day indistinguishable from the next. A long continuous chain. Then suddenly, there is a change," from "Taxi Driver".
They held their wedding reception at the Savoy Hotel with many of his friends. Mary had very few friends who could attend her wedding, and only Bert, Mrs. Cory, and her two daughters attended her wedding reception. After the champagne was passed around, Mary's new husband stood up to make a toast.
"Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man... But June 8th. My life has taken another turn again. The days can go on with regularity over and over, one day indistinguishable from the next. A long continuous chain. Then suddenly, there is a change. Mary was that change. When she walked into my life, she broke the cycle of loneliness. Until today, the happiest day of my life was when she agreed to be my wife, and now she is. I love you, Mary," he said, smiling down at her. She returned his smile as he took her hand, kissing its back lightly.
Bert watched from his seat, his heart breaking as he watched the love of his life smile at another man. How could she have gone through with this? How could she have married him – she didn't love Jack, she loved him.
The reception passed interminably slowly for him – he couldn't bear to watch her and her new husband, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Though she appeared happy, Bert knew that she wasn't. Her eyes weren't twinkling, and though she was smiling, it was a false smile.
Finally, after what seemed like years, they left for their honeymoon. She walked right past Bert, not looking at him until she reached the door. Turning around, she caught his eye for one brief moment before being swept out of his sight by her new husband.
He stayed at the table, his head in his hands, and let the tears slip down his face. When he finally stood up, he left the hotel and returned to his flat, losing himself in a bottle of gin, finally passing out.
Bert barely moved for the next few days, not eating, simply drinking. He only left his flat when he ran out of liquor. Finally he pulled himself out of his drunken stupor and threw himself into his work.
But at night, when he'd return to his empty flat, he'd draw her, the woman that he loved and who loved him in return, but who had married another man.
He hung them up on the walls, papering his bedroom with the drawings he had made of the woman who would have been his wife, if only he had asked her. It was his own fault, he knew, but that made the loneliness that much harder to bear.