The Fundamental Things Awry
By GilmoreGirl1979

Hi! this is your Friendly Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. No Harm, No Sue. Dialouge has been borrowed from....episode 4-05 -The Fundamental Things Apply (written by John Stephens, directed by Neema Barnette); Some Dialouge and intentions have been altered by me, Gilmoregirl1979,
... that is why it is awry! (I rhymed).

Summary: The Fundamental Things Apply AU, what could have/should have happened!! (DAMN IT!! it's like a catch phrase or something !!) what we all wanted to happen, L/L action, R/R please!

A/N: awry: 1. In a position (Dirty!!) that is turned or twisted toward one side(really Dirty!!); askew. 2. Away from the correct course; amiss.

well my version is awry (askew, a new twist) from how it happened in the eppy AKA in actual Gilmore history... get it? great! Enjoy this AU path!!

A/N2: hey, I know the intro is kinda long,...but it's worth it...

TO: LuvzAFunEthing, my friend, my gilmore gal pal, in the eloquent words of T.J.

"I love YA!" (strictly in a gal pal, friendly type way, although I'm sure some may find you very stalkable!! lol) yes my dear , this is exploring the WASTED opportunity for LL ...to get it on...

and Shouhei who betaed this!! thanks babe, for telling me this was good, and for rubbing my ego....(DIRTY? EXTREMELY!!!)

For Those Who Came In Late...(Or Just Need A Refresher):
Earlier ... on Gilmore Girls:
LUKE'S DINER

ED: Luke. Sorry. I'm cutting it kind of close here.

LUKE: Oh, sorry, Ed. I didn't realize you were cutting it kind of close. Everybody, drop everything. Ed's cutting it kind of close. Here's your tickets.

ED: You seem mad.

LUKE: Look, Ed, just go to the game and enjoy it, okay? Choke on a hot dog while you're at it.

ED: I have to tell you, Luke, I am never accepting anything free from you again.

LUKE: What a threat! Boy, you're a real master of fear, there, Ed. Look out, Jason and Freddy. Ed may never mooch off of either one of you ever again!

LORELAI: What is wrong with you?

LUKE: Nothing.

LORELAI: You're yelling at Ed.

LUKE: Ah, Ed bugs me.

LORELAI: Ed cries.

LUKE: I'm just having a bad day.

LORELAI: Zzz.

LUKE: Excuse me?

LORELAI: Days. You've been stomping around, barking at people for days.

LUKE: I have not.

LORELAI: Yes, Cujo, you have.

LUKE: I always talk to people like that.

LORELAI: No, Benji, you don't.

LUKE: I'll be fine tomorrow.

LORELAI: Really, Lassie? Why is that?

LUKE: Look, I bought these tickets for Nicole 'cause she's a Yankees fan. I thought it'd be nice if we went to a game together.

LORELAI: Oh, man.

LUKE: And it's no big deal. I mean, the closer it got to the game, the more I felt like a loser. I mean, I'm sitting on these tickets, which means I thought I'd still be in a relationship. I don't know. Stupid. I broke my own rule. I asked for it.

LORELAI: What are you talking about?

LUKE: Never plan for anything more than two days in advance.

LORELAI: That's your rule?

LUKE: Yes, 'cause when you make plans, then you have expectations, and when you have expectations, then you will get disappointed.

LORELAI: Having expectations also gives you something to look forward to.

LUKE: Yes, then you're looking forward to being constantly disappointed.

LORELAI: You're not that cynical.

LUKE: I am today.

LORELAI: Hey, I have an idea. Tomorrow night is usually movie night.

LUKE: What?

LORELAI: Rory and I would always rent a bunch of movies, order food -- it was our thing. Now she's at school and busy, so why don't you come over? It might be fun.

LUKE: Okay.

LORELAI: Yeah?

LUKE: Sure, what else have I got to do?

LORELAI: Ah, I love when men say that to me.

LUKE: What time?

LORELAI: Eight.

LUKE: Eight it is.

LORELAI: I'll stop by the video store and pick us up a couple movies. What do you want to see?

LUKE: I don't know.

LORELAI: Well, come on, tell me. I don't want to get something you've seen.

LUKE: Don't worry about it. I haven't seen anything.

LORELAI: People always say that.

LUKE: Well, with me, it's true.

LORELAI: "Casablanca"?

LUKE: Nope.

LORELAI: You have never seen "Casablanca"? Are you kidding?

LUKE: Just get anything, please.

LORELAI: "Chinatown"?

LUKE: Anything at all.

LORELAI: "Bonnie and Clyde"?

LUKE: A video game would be nice also.

LORELAI: "It Happened One Night"? "His Girl Friday"? "Treasure of the Sierra Madre"? "Diner"?

LUKE: I saw "Mr. and Mrs. Bridge."

LORELAI: Oh. My house, eight o'clock. We have such work to do.

LUKE: I'll see you there.

LORELAI: Oh, by the way, if my package arrives today, bring it with you, okay? Thanks.

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Now ... on Gilmore Girls ... :
The Fundamental Things Awry
LORELAI'S HOUSE

Man, It's just Luke.

She really couldn't explain why she felt compelled to look her best for him. She repeated to herself, It's just Luke, relax, even as she put down her eye shadow, and reached for her lip gloss, ... and double checked her hair, ... and reconsidered her top. But there was no time to change, the chinese food delivery guy was knocking at the door, Lorelai paid him and took to arranging the take out containers on the coffee table.

Now, she could only kill time till Luke's arrival, she decided on the "flight of the bumble bee" sprucing around the house method. This is not a big deal. You are just cheering him up after he's had a rough week. He's lonely and you're ... a little ... lonely, she seemed to realize. Shrugging off how hard it had been to get used to Rory not being around, and focused on the cushions of the couch again. Why AM I sprucing?...It's Luke..!! He's seen the place a disaster before ... when pipes have burst, torn up porch rails, ... after Stella got out... She smiled at the memory, and recalled the sneaking suspicion she had that night. The sense that Luke had come over for more than just to look for a baby chick.

She was saved from her cleaning madness and romantic speculations by the knock at the door. What is that? She seemed to ask the sensation in her stomach. I can't be having butterflies over Luke, ... but she was. Come on, he is cute! Lorelai scolded the suggestive voice, Cute as a friend! However, She was excited that he was coming over to her house, no toolbox required. They never really just hung out, or did anything fun, just the two of them. Usually, Luke would rain on her excitement of whatever activity she described, or Rory had always been around, as sort of a buffer. But now my girl is grown up...a college girl...

Again pushing the empty nest syndrome away, with one more mirror check, and Lorelai put a smile on her face, as she opened the front door. There Luke stood with some bags of Diner takeout. Her smile became even wider, she contemplated a 'Hi, Handsome', but that maybe to much between friends, Friends? Please, ... tell me another! so she settled on "Ah, man bearing bags of food. Come in."

He grinned, "I went a little overboard here." A little embarrassed that he knew the size of her appetite so well.

"No such thing." And she eagerly ushered him in and closed the door. Luke began to describe the evening's menu he had brought along. A menu, by no coincidence, that consisted of Lorelai's favorites. " I got tons of fries, half a pumpkin pie. You got whipped cream here?"

She smiled, "Always" and Dirty she thought. Oh My God, enough with the mock flirting.... A voice of reason said in her head. What do you mean 'mock', the more suggestive voice shot back. Lorelai almost didn't hear the rest of the Luke's menu, for the debate inside her head.

"And, uh, I wasn't sure what to do with the burgers because sometimes you order with double cheese, sometimes you don't, so I brought one with normal cheese and one with. .." Then he caught sight of the Chinese food containers on the coffee table ". . .what did you do?"

back to the here and now. "I ordered food." She stated matter of factly.

"I said I'd bring food."

"So I can't contribute, like I'm a piker?"

"No. Just that I didn't need to bring food." Luke said a little annoyed.

"Well, I'm leftover girl. I'll have the burgers tonight and the Chinese food during the week." Genuinely not wanting to offend him.

"Then, you just should have ordered the Chinese fresh tomorrow instead of tonight." Now a little embarassed he put so much thought in the menu.

"I don't like fresh Chinese food. I like stale Chinese food." And she began to clear up the take out cartons from the table, and stored them the fridge, to save for tommorrow night.

"I give up." He shook his head, as she left the room with the containers. In all honesty, he was just happy to be there. To take his mind off things; The Yankee game, the diner, ... Nicole. He was glad to be in Lorelai's company, to have a friend wanting to go out of her way to cheer him up, that was nice thing to have. You hear that word, ... a Friend, ... she is just a friend. Don't get any fancy ideas about tonight, this is just one friend looking out for another friend.

Lorelai came back in the living room with two bottles, and brought him out of his reflection. "I got you a nice, cold beer." She enticed, noticing his distracted expression.

"Appreciate it." He nodded, and took his first sip, to wash away any remaining "more that a friend/romantic" thoughts he was having, thoughts he'd been having for what ... seven years, ... and two girlfriends. As he handed her one of his take out containers.

She sat down on the couch with her beer. "Okay. You are one click away from 'Casablanca''."

"Start it up." As he opened his own container with a salad.

"No, whoa, whoa, whoa. We need to get situated. Are you all situated?"

"I'm situated." He raised his beer.

"You need to, like, ... squish around a little."

"I don't need to."

"Come on, squish around a little bit." She bounced on the couch, as if that would make him do it with her.

"I'm fine how I am." Having to smile at her energy.

"Okay, but, uh, you can't squish during the movie because it's distracting. That's rule number one."

"There's rules?" It's Lorelai Gilmore, of course there are rules.

"Oh, yeah, especially for a true classic like 'Casablanca.' It's not like we're watching a there's-nothing-else-on movie or a guilty pleasure like 'Hardbodies.' Oh, my God. Have you seen 'Hardbodies'?"

"I don't think so."

"Three middle-aged guys rent a beach house and they hire this young local stud to introduce them to cute girls, a.k.a. 'Hardbodies.'"

"Let's see that."

"No, Luke, we're seeing 'Casablanca.' "

"Then let's see that." Oh My God, the Work!

"Okay, the rest of the rules - no talking during the movie. No exceptions during a true classic. And minimize distraction. You know, no shifting around a lot, no phone calls, nothing. No going to the bathroom. If you go, you miss the movie 'cause we're not pausing the movie. That's the only way to get the flow of the thing, okay?"

"Fair enough." And took a swig of his beer. This maybe a long night, recalling the other movies she had mentioned in the diner, and her comment of "We have such work to do." He began to wonder how long he'd be here...alone....with her. Stop it, Danes, with another swallow of his beer, he put it down, now realizing he should pace himself better, and began to stab at his salad.

"Okay. Here we go." and she started the movie.

Luke was immediately puzzled "What's that?"

"Okay, um . . . "she stopped the movie, "...(A), um, no talking during the movie, and (B), don't tell me you've never seen the FBI warning before. "

"It's new to me". He said honestly.

"Oh, my God. You're beyond monk. You're uber-monk." And I'm attracted to this guy?...she chuckled to herself .... wait...what??

"Just start it up. I won't talk again." settling into his side of the couch.

Her previous thoughts purged, she couldn't resist another jab. "Okay, just one more warning - when they showed the first motion picture over a hundred years ago, it featured a train rushing toward the camera, and, um, people were so sure the train was going to burst off the screen and crush them that they ran away in terror." She put her hands on his arm and lean into him. "Now, Luke, the train is not going to leave the screen."

"Hit the button." Another long sip of his beer, Yeah, a long night.

"Okay." and she took a swallow of hers. "Wait, lights!" and put down the bottle.

"What?"

"I don't want a glare on the TV, it's distracting." And she went behind the couch and turned off the most offensive lamp by the window. Then, She went to the kitchen, and turned off that light too, and grabbed two more beers, Just in case; but her suggestive voice was back, just in case of what? She ingored it, and focused on her guest. Holding up the bottles with a smile in the glow of the TV, "Provisions, ..." she sat back down, "So there should be no more interuptions" She declared.

God, I love that smile ... Geez, keep it together, Man.

"Great, hit the button arleady." As he ate a grape tomato.

TBC

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Hhhhhmmmm If Luke reviewed this piece what would he say?

LUKE's review: "That was all God-given talent."

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What do you think? Were they True to character...??

R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."

Please be specfic with R/R; name one(or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) at least specific thing you like please!!! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)

Hence the Rant option below.

Insert Rant here V