A fragment of my thoughts that I thought there should be answers to. The heart ache of someone who loves but is not shown love in return. That, and the guys she loves is a billion year old demon who slays people... Ah. Love him anyway! Go Rin and Sesshomaru!
Its badly written and I may edit it later as I got lazy with the last part...
R&R!
The pangs of a heart
"How does it feel to love and to not be loved?"
"Its...Painful..." Rin gave the glowing globe of light a stare. A curious spirit had strayed from Kikyo. A tiny ball of infinite space which glowed ever so beautifully. It sought her knowledge, which she did not contain. Wisdom she yearned to have.
"Yet you choose to love... Even though it ails you..." She knew the grass was staining her cotton kimono. The light being acted like a jerboa, bouncing around like that. She pulled her legs close to her chest and sighed.
"Its not something you can choose to do. It just happens." Sesshomaru was not something she picked like a child in a candy store. There was just a single moment, that was it. She had fallen heavily, for a demon. Melancholia had drawn the creature, neither man nor beast to Rin. Her frustration a walking beacon. The spirit hankered for such emotions. Odd, but true.
"Why does it happen? Is it not something you are better off without?" If the entity had a head it would have been tilting ever so slightly. Its light was bright enough for Rin to see Jacken snoring away with his mouth ajar. She shook her head with force.
"Sessomaru-sama is my whole world because I love him! Without that love... I just wouldn't feel complete..." The deity swirled and shone intermittently, its critical questions stung Rin's heart and yet aided her in sorting her mixed up self.
"This Sessomaru-sama... Why is he the one you have given your heart to? Why did you pick him and not one who will shower you with affection?" Rin recalled a preserved memory of a glade where she had first seen his beautiful face. He was exhausted and injured with wounds that ran deep. She had been afraid to look or breathe, he was a demon. When she left the fish for him her heart galloped. She longed for him to rejuvenate, most ran from her and beat her down. His neutral expression was a blessing in her life.
"He gave me a second chance... And a person to share it with..." She balled her hand into a fist and pressed it gently over her heart. He brought her back to life...
"When I think of him my heart beats fast."
"So... This feeling makes you have a heart attack?" She shook her head softly and gave a chuckle. The globule bobbed around.
"No. It just fills me. When I think about him... I'm all warm."The kind of things that Sesshomaru's mere presence did to her mind... It was exciting, yet she felt secure just being by his side. When she was not, all she could do was think about his face. He was her saviour.
"What about the pain? It hurts you, to have this feelings unrequited." There was a stinging burst of tears from her eyes. It was true, he would not and could not ever love her in that way. She was not a demon, she would not last that long. She would age over time, he would remain youthful. Love was just an obstacle for him.
A hurdle that needs to be overcome.
"Hearing you speak of love. Makes me want to experience it too." Rin gave a surprised look directed at the orb of light.
"Nothing is good all the time. Lovers, friends and family, they are all hard to deal with." Rin saw complentation in the heat of the globe. The being was confused with its own feeling and was slowly placing the thoughts into words.
"I think that having those emotions is wonderful all by itself. Its like a thrilling ride or an adventure. With ups and downs. Even when it tears you to shreads... It really is something to be cherished." The glow from the ball shone slightly dimmer, as if it were shy.
"For myself, a creature who is unable to experience such things... It is truly a marvel." Rin clutched the orb and cuddled it softly. Her expression was hovering between pity for the creature and resentment for her own feelings.
"You are not able to feel love?" The orbs light flickered.
"We cannot feel pain, sorrow, happiness, love and hate all the spectrums of emotion. We are such lonesome creatures. All we can do is follow the lives of others..." Rin stared at the globule hard. Her eyes were tearful.
"It sounds very empty." The orb bobbed slowly as if nodding in acknowledgement.
"It was your emotion that drew me to you." Her hair swayed in the breeze that weaved through the forest. The trees seemed to sway and moan.
"What emotion?" The glimmering light twirled around her body. Was it love?
"Despair." It really bugged her that her depression interested the being.
"Why does despair spark your interest and not love?" the orb rested itself on her lap.
"Good question. But... If you think about it. Misery loves company. Love needs two to tango, but sadness gathers crowds. Suffering draws millions. Your pain lit a path for me."
"But, you can't share this pain I feel. You said so yourself. I feel this dismal ache. You do not. I do."
"I know." She raised her brow and crossed her arms.
"Then why are you still here?"
"Because I can be."
"You don't make much sense."
"Its something that happens when you become a floating soul who exists only for a deceased person who feeds on your life source." The being spoke flatly.
"Oh." Silence filled the air. The conversation was lagging and daybreak had almost arrived. Rin gave a lonesome look at Sesshomaru who was resting peacefully.
"Love overcomes all boundaries."
"I can't-" As the last words rolled off her tongue the orb ceased to be substantial.
The orb was gone.
But not forgotten.
The morning rays drifted towards the campsite where the three companions lay. The dew rested upon the leaves of the grand trees that surrounded the area. The sky was tinged with the beautiful pink and red that comes only at the beginning and the end of a day. The petite female raised her body off the damp earth , only to find her savior had already stood.
"Rin. Jaken." He called to the both of his followers. The green coloured being bounced to his feet and clutched his staff in his three fingered hand.
"Let's go."
Rin smiled. Happiness is to be cherished. Love is love whether unrequited or not. More powerful than death. A force that overcomes and saves all.
A soft voice whispered encouragement into the breeze that circled the child.
'Love is life Rin. Never forget it.'
'Your mother has not forgotten you.'
She gazed upward, into the heavens. Jaken and Sesshomaru turned to stare at the little girl who had stopped walking in mid-step.
"Rin." She grinned and ran toward him.
"Coming Sesshomaru-sama!"