My sweetest downfall

He was a bit uneasy as he paced the corridor outside the Gryffindor common room. He'd managed to threaten that idiot Longbottom into telling him where it was.

However, he didn't want to admit that he was uneasy, even though this might be one of the more embarrassing things he'd ever done.

If you've been walking around for five years, telling everybody you hate someone, make fun of that person all the time and even a couple of times say that you wish her dead, this would be kind of embarrassing.

Especially if you have no clue how to do it. If you did not have any experience whatsoever with tender words and warm embraces, how could you be expected to do this properly?

But there was nothing but properly left to do, because everything depended on his ability to do this perfectly.

He would loose otherwise. That was not an option.

But how to do it? How to tell her?

She thought that he hated her. He kind of did.

He hated that she made him feel like this. That her power was so strong that not only did he feel it, he knew he had to tell her that he did.

He hated feeling weak, and she made him do so in every single possible way.

She had also weakened his heart.

…

"I'm seriously fucked up!" he mumbled as he still paced the corridor, waiting for a door to appear or something.

He'd totally forgotten to ask Longbottom how to actually get into the common room.

What if Longbottom had told him the wrong location? Oh, he'd be a fried piece of bacon if that was the case.

A fat lady in a ugly pink dress glanced at him, with an annoyingly smug grin on her pink lips, from a portrait.

He sat down at the balls of his feet and took two deep breaths. He was actually starting to get dizzy from the nerves. He did not like to admit that, but it was the truth.

…

How had all this happened anyway? There was no good explanation. It was something that had grown out of hate, which wasn't the most ideal plot for a love story.

One day he'd just not been able to form the words mudblood anymore. Someone as beautiful, witty, clever and kind as her could not possibly have dirty blood.

If anyone had dirty blood it was him, stupid fucking git.

How he hated everything about himself as he understood what a fool he'd been all these years. Precious time that had been wasted on being a jerk.

It was disgusting really.

He wanted to blame his family, say that it was their fault from bringing him up with those values, but it would be a lie. You are what you chose to be. No one else decides for you.

…

Suddenly that fat lady disappeared as the portrait flung open and revealed a door behind it.

Conveniently enough, just the girl he was looking for, stepped out of it, looking rather surprised at finding him there on the floor.

He stood up quickly and pulled his shirt down a bit, corrected his loosened green-silver tie and looked up into her brown wondrous eyes.

"Malfoy? What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice full of surprise. He tried to look firm as he locked her eyes with his.

"I need to talk to you Granger."

…

After a bit of persuasion he'd managed to pull her with him and now they were walking slowly along the premises after a rather awkward silence.

"What do you want that's so important Malfoy?" she asked, her voice quite tired as if he were playing games and she was sick of it. But he could also hear a hint of curiosity there. After all, he'd always tried to be in the same room as her for the shortest possible time.

"It's a bit embarrassing really…" he started and looked at the ground as if it was very hard to walk and talk at the same time. "You'll probably laugh, and certainly not believe me!"

"Please, I'll shut up if you just say it so that I can go to class."

"Er… I'm not sure what to say actually." he said, and looked up at her. She was staring at him intensely as if she was trying to pick out his thoughts. She looked angrier and angrier as he kept his silence, but now he was so nervous that he could hardly open his mouth.

"Just spit it out Draco!" she roared, and as she did, it all went away. If he couldn't have her, he never wanted anyone. This might be his only chance so he better fucking take it. And she'd said his first name. That gave him courage.

"I… I've been such a fool Hermione!" he sighed, and she nodded, still unknowing of where this was headed, "I've know that for quite some time now, and it's all because of you.

I feel… stronger and weaker at the same time. I've never felt this strong, but I've never felt this vulnerable at the same time. I never felt pain before, now it's like I can't stop bleeding."

Hermione was staring at him with astonished eyes. She blinked five times real fast and then she giggled. She seemed unable to stop herself. It was a hysteric giggle, it sounded a bit like a panic-attack. When she'd finally calmed down she breathed hard for a few seconds and then said;

"Whoa Malfoy, that you could even form words like that is beyond any belief I've ever had. What would Crabbe and Goyle have needed to do if they'd lost the bet?"

"Bet?" he asked, not a clue about what she was saying.

"You must've obviously lost a serious bet or we wouldn't be here. What did you bet about anyway?"

"I wasn't saying those things because I lost a fucking bet Hermione!" he said through gritted teeth.

"Then who paid you to have a good laugh? I'll hex him!" she asked and started staring around as if she could find him with one glance.

"I meant it!"

The silence was deafening.

"You… you meant it?" she finally managed to say.

"Yes!"

"And you expect me to believe that because..?"

"Because it's true! You could feed me a thousand bottles of veritaserum and I'd still say it.

Hermione, I've realized something that I should have known from the beginning…"

"And that is?" she asked. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sort of glittered. It looked as if she was about to cry, and still she looked real angry.

"That you are magic, in more ways than just witchcraft. I want to be with you until I can't freaking breathe anymore!"

"Please stop making fun of me!" she yelled, and a tear rolled down her cheek. "Who told you? No one could have known!"

"Known what?" he asked, completely puzzled. What on earth was she talking about?

"Known about my feelings for you of course! They're completely irrational of course, and this just proves it even more. You are playing with me, toying with me like a cat with string, and it's lower than I ever thought you'd sink. I can't explain, not even to myself why I lo… like you. Please, don't ever talk to me again!"

She dried her cheek with the sleeve of her shirt as she marched away. She actually managed to get several feet ahead before he realized what she'd just said.

She's said that she liked him. She thought he was only telling her these things because he'd found out that she had feelings for him, and wanted to be mean.

"Oh my god!" he murmured and ran after her as quickly as he possibly could. "Hey, wait!" he said and grabbed her arm as he finally, panting like a dog, reached her.

Unfortunately, being Hermione, she'd pulled out her want and as she turned around she pointed it directly at his throat, making him back off right into a tree. She stood there, a look of utter fury on her face with eyes red with tears. He still hadn't let go of her arm, which was kind of brave.

"Fuck you Malfoy!" she said, and he swallowed hard. "Let go!"

"I won't! Hermione listen, I do not intend to harm you in any single way. I just want to be with you, I swear."

"You stinking liar!" she yelled and red sparks flew out of the wand and burned his throat a bit.

As if thing couldn't get any worse, he suddenly heard the voices of two boys shouting; "Hey! What's going on? Malfoy, what the fuck!"

He just had to glance quickly over her shoulder to see that it was Potter and Weasley, coming to her rescue. If they made it to the tree, he'd be doomed.

As Hermione turned to look at them, he saw his one and only shot. He quickly grabbed her chin, pulled her close to him with his other hand and kissed her.

It was as though sparks were flying around in their mouths. At first she was surprised and chocked, he anxious and nervous. And then suddenly, it all went away. It felt so right, so meant to be, that it was as if they were made to kiss each other.

And the next moment, her lips were gone.

A very angry Weasley and a very angry Potter, was holing on to a dizzy-looking Hermione. She was staring at him and he was staring at her. The understanding was there now, they both knew.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Malfoy?" Weasley roared and pulled out his wand. So did Potter. But Draco didn't feel like fighting, he felt like snogging.

"I'm snogging Granger, what the fuck are you doing?" he asked, and grabbed Hermione around the waist as she started to giggle hysterically.

"What? Herm, is it true? You and him?" Potter asked, looking as if someone had died.

"Well… yeah. I think so…" she said and flushed.

"You know so!" Draco corrected her and put a finger on her lower lip. She smiled happily and looked up into his eyes. "Now if you two would give us some privacy…"

"Go to hell Malfoy!" Weasley shouted as he stormed off looking suicidal, with Potter close after him.

"They'll get over it… someday…" Hermione giggled and Draco chuckled. He pulled her close, and she wound her arms around him.

…

"Granger… I love you," Draco murmured into her hair after several minutes of silence.

"I love you too!" she whispered into his chest, and he could hear the smile in her voice. He pulled back and looked at her. She was positively radiating.

"I sorry for everything I've ever done, I've been an idiot. I've…" he continued, but she silenced him with two fingers across his lips. She grinned and her brown eyes twinkled a bit as she looked into his grey ones.

"Just shut up and kiss me fool!"

'You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth

…

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first'

- Samson, Regina Spektor