He Promised

Author's Note: Okay, this is the long awaited…err…something of You Lied. Not quite sure if it's a prequel or a sequel. I guess I'll get there when I finish writing. Okay, here goes.

Harry was standing; he would have been sitting had he thought he would be able to stand. His hair was shaggy and unkempt. Something he was used to, he ran a hand through his hair, and sank into the chair behind him. He wasn't quite over it, sometimes he had good days, and everything seemed okay, and then there are the bad days, when all he wants he wants to do is jump off of a very tall building.

He couldn't quite shake the feeling that he would ever be over it…over him. His mental breakdown he had had abouttwo years ago…he'd been gonefor twoyears… two years was far to long for Harry, for to long to go without the strong arms wrapped around his waist, far to long to go without the gentle kisses, and sweet nothings been whispered into his ears. Sweet, bittersweet promises.

"I'll love you until you turn gray and wrinkly and—" He stopped. Harry glared at him playfully, and swatted him with a pillow.

"Oh, you're saying that when I'm ugly you won't love me anymore?" Harry pouted. Sirius smiled at him. "Probably not, I might already be dead by then". Harry's face fell and he stared at Sirius. "Don't joke Sirius".

"Harry, I wouldn't dream of leaving you, before I had too".

"Promise me Sirius, promise me that you'll never leave me".

"Harry, I can't promise you something like that", Sirius whispered.

"Sirius, please, just…just promise me that—" Harry didn't get to finish. He didn't have too, Sirius knew what he meant.

"I promise".

He owed that much too Harry.

He could tell him goodbye.

But you didn't, did you Sirius? This thought crossed Harry's mind, many times a day, and more times at night. Most of the time, he didn't want to even think about it, about him. Every morning Harry did the same thing. He got up, somehow got himself dressed, went to breakfast, dragged his way through classes, ate dinner, and than went back to bed. Each day Harry had to fight to keep his mouth shut when Ron or Hermione gripped at him for being the way he was, but he coped.

"Sir-ius…"Harry whined. Sirius turned and smiled at him, rising Harry's homework over his head and out of Harry's reach. "Not until I get some goddamned attention", Sirius smirked. Harry gave him a defiant stare, not at all letting up.

"That's not fair, I just want to pass Snape's class and wall you want to do is fuck", Harry griped. Sirius gave him another stunning beam and shoved Harry onto the bed behind him.

"Hey, if you're lucky, I just might help you", Sirius whispered huskily, kissing the side of Harry's jaw line. Harry arched his head, and moaned.

"Sirius, you bastard".

Harry stood in the shower, his head leaning against the wall, and his shoulders slumped. He wasn't sure he could so this anymore, Sirius may have been dead for almost two years, but Harry still remembered everything.

Sirius stealthily snuck into Harry's room, it was the day before Harry's hearing, not sure what he was doing, not sure if he should even be doing it at all. He just couldn't get Harry out of his head, and it was wrong to think of his like this. But God did it feel right.

Sirius crawled into Harry's bed, and simply stared at him. Harry rolled over and opened his eyes, squinting in the darkness.

"Sirius?" He whispered. The figure nodded silently and pushed a lock of hair away from the boy's head. He was only 15 years old, and this was wrong. Harry didn't seem to mind or care, for that matter. Sirius got up to leave, having done what he had set out to do, and not anything more, Harry grabbed his wrist as he got up. "No, I-I want you to stay, please?"

He was so frightened. Afraid that Sirius would reject him, afraid that Sirius might laugh at him, and call him pathetic, and Sirius could see it in his eyes. Sirius smiled down at him, and lay down beside him.

Sirius stayed all night.

Harry sank to the ground, the water had long since turned frigid, and Harry was no where near ready to get out. He let the water beat down on top of him, the frosty drops fell, mingling with the salty warmness of his tears. Not only was he sure he couldn't do this anymore; he didn't want to do this anymore. Harry heard the sounds of his roommates moving about, they were awake. Harry quickly stood, turned off the shower and dried himself. It was time to start the day over again.

"Harry, mate you look a bit under par" Ron told him. Harry vaguely felt himself nodding his head. "I'm fine, Ron. Just a bit tired".

Rod didn't say anything to him, just nodded his head and went back to eating. He wasn't sure whether or not Ron believed him, but right now he didn't think it mattered.

It was later that day that Harry found himself standing on the roof of the Astronomy Tower. He sat on the edge, his legs dangling off. Harry didn't quite understand what it was about this place that was so comforting. Was it the fact that it was the only place that he could go, and not be bothered? Was it the fact that everyone else had to be half crazy to even think about coming up here?

Harry looked down, his face paled and he stepped back. Could he do it? Was it worth it? He'd get to see Sirius again.

What if he fell?

It was a long way down.

No one could survive a fall like that.

Harry watched, in twisted fascination. Everything seemed to slow down, and all Harry could do was scream, he had to get Sirius, he had to. Harry could see the fear etched into Sirius' face, he could see the look of triumphant madness locked on to Bellatrix's face. Harry bolted as Sirius was at the edge of the veil, only to be stopped.

Harry fought the person off, it was Remus. Why would he hold Harry back? Didn't he want Sirius to be saved? But it was just like that, that the veil swallowed Sirius, and then waved shut, as if blown by wind.

Like it had never happened.

"Get him, save him; he's only just gone through!" Harry cried. But Remus shook his head, and his voice was cracking.

"It's to late, Harry—"

"We can still reach him—" Harry yelled. So Harry struggled, if Remus wasn't going to do it, than he would.

"He hasn't gone!"

Harry couldn't comprehend it, it wasn't happening. Sirius was beyond the other side, he would come back out and hold Harry in his arms, and tell him it was alright.

"SIRIUS!" Harry screeched, "SIRIUS!"

"He can't come back, Harry", Remus rasped. "He can't come back, because he's d—"

No, he wasn't dead.

"HE—NOT—DEAD" He roared, "SIRIUS!"

And Harry was angry, nothing mattered. He was mad that Lupin wouldn't him go, mad that Bellatrix had hurt Sirius, mad at himself for putting Sirius in danger, and mad as Sirius for keeping him waiting. Than some part of him realized that even when Sirius hadn't been with him, Sirius had never kept him waiting. He had risked everything for Harry, always to see him safe, always to make him feel loved.

He vaguely heard Lupin mutter the counter jinx on Neville so that he would stop dancing around. And than it hit him again.

"SHE KILLED SIRIUS! SHE KILLED HIM! I'LL KILL HER!" And then Harry was off, off after the one that had taken the only person that he had ever loved with all of his heart. He never stopped to look back at Remus as he yelled for him. He heard her, cackling madly yelling and screaming. Harry chased after her.

When he finally found her, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to kill her; he wanted her to feel the pain that he was feeling right now.

"Aww, didn't love him, little baby Potter?" her mocking baby voice asked. He wasted no time with answers.

"Crucio!" Harry screamed. She fell but did not whither in agony as he had when Voldemort put the spell on him.

"Never used an Unforgivable Curse, have you, Boy?" she yelled. "You need to mean them, Potter! You need to really want to cause pain—to enjoy it—righteous anger won't hurt me for long!"

But Harry didn't think she was telling the truth, because he had really wanted her to suffer. To hurt, to scream, to cry, to yell like he had done. But he couldn't do it right.

Harry wiped his face and continued staring. That was to be the last time that he would ever see Sirius again. The last time that Sirius would ever hold him, and kiss him, and love him. As he sat there, he realized that Sirius hadn't done what he was supposed to. Sirius had made a promise to him, and he hadn't even kept it.

He didn't tell Harry goodbye…

"He promised", Harry whispered.