Aristocra Formbi's Ingenious Plan (a parody in six acts)

Act I – Aristocra Formbi is puzzling out an ingenious plan

Dramatis personae:

Aristocra Chaf'orm'bintrano (Formbi): Envoy of the Fifth Ruling Family of the Chiss People

Chaf'ees'aklaio (Feesa): Formbi's adjutant and niece

Voss Parck: Admiral of the Empire of the Hand

Jorj Car'das: Thrawn intimate and longtime expert of the Unknown Regions.

Those four people are sitting together, to debate about the situation in the region.

Formbi: "A spectre is haunting the Chiss Room – the spectre of the Vagaari!"

Parck: "I could compile a Rapid Task Force and then we'll snuff out that brood."

Car'das: "How much I do second this!"

Formbi: "That's impossible. It will contradict the military doctrine of the Chiss prohibiting pre-emptive military strikes!"

Car'das: "Thrawn did lure them into a trap and we could do likewise."

Formbi: "We did found the remains of Outbound Flight. We could use that as bait."

Parck: "Why the hell the Vagaari should want to fly to that half-century old heap of garbage, whose technology is but outdated that much?"

Car'das (smiling): "Have you ever seen the ships of the Vagaari?"

Parck: "Nope, should I?"

Car'das (smiling knowingly): "If you would have seen them, you would know why they will swallow that bait." A thought is crossing his mind: "Aristocra Formbi, since when do you know the whereabouts of Outbound Flight?"

Formbi (thinking about it): "So since forty-five years?"

Car'das (hitting the table with his fist): "And about this you tell us only now?!"

Formbi (shrugging): "Until now there was no urgent reason to tell anybody about it. Well, the remains lay in the Chiss Room and hence they are an internal affair of the Nine Ruling Families of our people."

Car'das: "And this you say so lightly?! Jedi Knight Lorana Jinzler from Outbound Flight did ask me to transmit greetings to her brother with the information of her whereabouts. Who knows, if Dean Jinzler is ever alive still! You must know: there was a kind of strife between the two siblings and Lorana felt very sorry about that."

Formbi (cold): "Neither do I know the one nor the other Jinzler."

Parck: "So what do we do now?"

Formbi: "You will provide me a tough unit of your best Stormtroopers to be sent aboard my diplomatic cruiser, the Chaf Envoy. We'll send the Vagaari an invitation, of course that way they shall think, we did reach them just by accident. Then we provoke them for so long until they launch the first strike – and then we'll finish them!"

Car'das (showing a frown): "Sounds complicated, but I'm away soon and that's not my business anymore. Just in case you want to know how Vagaari do look like: They look such and such."

Car'das leaves and the summit is terminated.

After one week Car'das brings Dean Jinzler, the alleged ambassador of the Republic, to the Chaf Envoy, the diplomatic cruiser of the Fifth Ruling Family. After the delegation of the pretended Geroons, the two Jedi Luke and Mara Skywalker and Chak Fel with his Stormtroopers of the Empire of the Hand did arrive, the quest can start.