I don't own anything to do with the Avengers or Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but would I be writing this if I did? I know Amy Acker has now been cast as the Cellist but I started this before I knew that so this story shall not follow anything to do with that cellist. This story follows Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. up to episode 15, and a little of sixteen, but HYDRA has never happened. Also I found out the other day that Amy Acker's middle name is Louise which is complete coincidence, because I've been working on this story since about new years when I don't even know she was going to be the cellist.
Phil Coulson was dead. That much Louise Coulson knew for sure. She was just a regular citizen. How did she know him in the first place? It's an interesting story actually, and it can be read as Sometimes we're gonna have to Lose, by Random 007. This is a continuation, of what happened after Phil died. This story is a continuation of THE END, and even though that sounds quite final, Director Fury managed to move heaven and earth so it wouldn't be. This story shall also be told in five parts; The End of The End, which becomes The Beginning of The End; The Beginning of The Middle of The End; The Middle of The End; The End of The Middle of The End and The End of The End. An Epilogue might also thrown in at some point.
The End of The End, which becomes The Beginning of The End
It had been a year. One year exactly since Phillip James Coulson died.
Louise Elizabeth Coulson was currently dressed all in black as she fed the almost four month old baby in her arms, the last little beacon of hope in her life. For when Phil died, she too died a little inside, and became very closed off from the world. When she had looked up the dead lists, he was the first name, the first known dead. That, in her eyes, was the most heart breaking thing of all. She refused to go to his funeral, as not only would She have not known anybody there, but it would have made the death too permanent. And he wasn't dead, not to her kind anyway, for he lived on inside her heart, her mind. And he had left a piece of him with her. The baby Louise was currently feeding, James Phillip Coulson, was their child, and neither of them had known about him until after his death. The child had mainly Phil's features, though his short stubby nose definitely came from Louise. He was perfect, and half filled the gaping hole in Louise's heart.
When Phil got back from 'Tahiti' He was taken straight to the director. He was worried about how long he had been gone, how Barton and Romanoff were, the Avengers. Obviously they had won as Loki wasn't around, but at what cost? But Phil's most prominent concern was that of Louise. Did she know why he wasn't back? Did she still feel the same way about him? Phil couldn't wait to find out. He and the director exchanged greetings, and then Fury got down to business. "Coulson, the Avengers, most agents and the world thinks you're dead. Myself, Chief-Commander Hill and a few doctors are the only ones who know you're alive. Your 'death' must remain real to the Avengers, and all agents below a level seven."
"But what about Barton and Rom-"
"Dead."
Phil could barely bring himself to say her name. "Louise..?" He whispered, fearful of the outcome.
"I'm sorry Phil. It's your year anniversary." Phil walked out of the office and back to his quarters where he lay and cried, for all that had been, that could no longer be because some stupid Asgardian had stabbed him through the chest, through the heart in more ways than one.
Kelly seemed to think that Louise had finally gotten over Phil's death. It was mid July and Kelly had come to Portland for a social weekend and a chance to see her six month old Godson. Kelly felt that Louise was too isolated in Portland, she only had her friends from the orchestra that she was currently on maternity leave from. She knew the nice flortist, Isabelle, came round often, but Kelly felt Louise was drowning in her tears over Phil. Nevertheless, Kelly also knew that Louise was a strong independent woman, who could look after herself, and her child, just fine.
Louise knew that Kelly was worried about her but so what? She was free to worry, Louise wouldn't be taking any notice of it, or questioning her about it. She'd improved since May, finally realising he was dead, never coming back and nothing could change it. She, on the other hand, was alive and had a child to bring up, a life to live. Louise knew he had never meant to leave her and he wouldn't want her to forget him or mourn too long. She and James had a life to live.
Phil knew Fury had had him put this team together to help take his mind off her. That was all his mind was ever on. Fury had forbidden him from even looking anything up about her, even just checking she was still alive and kicking. Phil knew he wasn't being told something about her, but with Hill and Fury monitoring him day and night there wasn't a lot he could do. He was given possibly the two best scientists from the academy, Agent Grant Ward as a specialist, one that he had worked with before, and had personally recruited Melinda May to drive the plane, though he expected her to get pushed in to field work soon enough. But Phil still thought that something was missing. That was why he invited computer hacker Skye to the team, despite her dodgy history. Phil thought his team was complete.
Six was a good number, they covered all bases, and never permanently needed someone else. He only later realised it, but there were six Avengers. To start with it was understatement to say that he missed Louise, he pined away for her and didn't see his team much, but the younger ones put that down to the age gap and May didn't notice. She was too busy driving the bus. Phil missed Louise, but he couldn't do anything.
The day was the 21st of January 2014. James Phillip Coulson's first birthday. Louise was determined to keep it small, he was too young to know what day it was anyway. She had invited Kelly and Isabelle over to eat cake whilst keeping the little man entertained. She had taken to calling him Jamie or Jamesy because he was so cute that a grown up name just seemed too weird. He was crawling now, every now and then standing up, before falling on to soft carpeted floors. His first word was 'Mama' closely followed by 'dada' which made Louise's heart break. Her little boy would never have a father. At some point, Louise left the room to go to the bathroom and was unable to hear the whispered conversation held by the other two women. Kelly quickly explained about the whole 'Phil dying' thing and told Isabelle not to mention it. "He was first known dead. Top of the list." Kelly finished, just before Louise came back. The woman in question thankfully didn't hear, she didn't need or want all the pity that would likely be bestowed on her if she told any one. James' first birthday was remarkably uneventful. If only the rest of his life would remain that way.
Phil rolled over and looked at his clock. The alarm wasn't supposed to be going off for another two hours! But then he noticed, it wasn't his alarm, it was S.H.I.E.L.D.'s wake up call. They had something to do. He got the team up, not caring about their sleepwear, Skye's fluffy bunny onesie, the absence of Ward's shirt, Fitz' tartan ensemble, Simmons' plain nightie and himself plain PJs. May was still in her day clothes, flying. "I'm sorry AC, I *yawn* need sleep," moaned Skye as she struggled to keep her eyes open.
"I'm sorry. Director Fury thought this was the best time for us to be needed." He then went on to explain how Fury had told him that one of his team had to tail some guy all the way through an airport in NY, to one in LA. May would be needed to drive the bus and Ward would be taken by security for never going anywhere without a gun. It had already been demonstrated that FitzSimmons were terrible at going in undercover, so it would have to be Skye. He told everyone to go so he could speak to Skye alone. "Skye you're going to tail Mr Read..." He began, as Skye slumped. Ten minutes later, with the help of most people on the bus Skye looked like a tourist ready to leave. She spotted the brown hair entering the air port and quickly began to inconspicuously follow him. They both bought tickets to LA and a few hours later began to board the plane. Skye didn't notice anything special about this guy.
When they got off the flight, the team was ready and waiting to take him back to base for questioning. To Skye, the whole mini-mission was just a pointless exercise which meant she lost sleep.
It was only a few days later that Skye knocked on the door of her boss' office, only to hear sniffing. "AC?" She called quietly through the door, hoping to sound sympathetic. She open the door and silently passed through it. She shut it again before returning to the situation. Her boss was at his desk, tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping off his nose. She pulled up a chair next to him before lending him her shoulder. He gladly took it and waited for the tears to stop before telling the younger agent, "It was two years yesterday Skye... Since I proposed... two years today since I died." Skye was slightly shocked but tried not to let it show. Coulson was going to marry someone? He loved someone?! They hadn't seen each other for two years!?
"I'm sorry, sir." Skye stammered, trying to comprehend this revelation. "Can't you check up on her or talk to her on the internet?"
"No S.H.I.E.L.D. blocked anything to do with her." Phil's eyes cast downwards before he smiled weakly.
"I could hack," Skye replied hopefully.
"It doesn't matter Skye. You have your own worries." And with that Skye left the office.
Skye and May searched for a mission in Portland for weeks. It was the middle of June when they got one. It was something simple that the science twins could do in two days, but they had been given a week. May's fun streak came out as she bought Phil a ticket for a concert on the Thursday. FitzSimmons were done by Tuesday so when the ticket 'magically' appeared, he saw no harm in going. As long as Louise didn't see him, Phil was fine. On their mysterious 'free night' FitzSimmons went to some sciency thing, May and Skye watched the performance through a small camera Phil didn't know was on his button, Ward joining them after he had finished punching the bag.
Louise sighed as she began to get ready for the performance. She had a weird premonition that something strange was going to happen. Something unusual. Still, she shook it off and stepped out behind the curtain, cello in hand. She looked at the music for a second but it was the same as it had been for weeks and didn't need any revising. She turned her head as the curtain rose. She scanned the crowd for familiar faces, like she did every night. The first row of the circle to see if Phil was there. It saddened her every time. He couldn't be there, but there was not stopping her from doing it. He was never there, except that day he was. Louise's brain played the notes but her mind focused on her dead lover, who was sitting starting at her crying. He was so close and yet so far, couldn't touch couldn't talk. Louise did her best to hold it together.
During the interval, Louise told the flortist, Isabelle, that she was going to run off at the end at to please take her cello for her. Isabelle later did, blind as to why. As soon as the curtain dropped, Louise sprinted away, possibly the fasted she'd ever ran to the car park, where a red corvette was just leaving. "PHILLIP JAMES COULSON! COME BACK!" She screeched as the car stopped at the exit. "Please come back..." She begged. It took all the strength Phil had to drive away. Drive away from his wife, his past life, a life so much better than this. A life where real things mattered. Not just hoe good you were at shooting somebody, but love friendship and family. Love which was so pure, it was wrong to taint it with the life and death of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Yes, Phil thought as he pulled away, that's what I have up when I died. Life and a reason for living.