A/N: This is my first Twilight story, I hope you guys like it! I sadly don't own Twilight *cries*.
This is about what Bella thought when Edward first left. Reviews are really really appreciated. Enjoy!
I was left cold. He left me. He didn't want me. No, not anymore. My body collapsed to the floor, cold and lifeless. I couldn't speak, couldn't think, I had lost the one thing that truly mattered; the one thing I loved more then anything else, Edward.
Somehow I knew it would happen, I was never good enough for him. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough...no, I never was. I'd deceived myself, lied, over and over again, bleeding the lines of reality, so that I could believe he could ever love me, ever love someone like me, he was perfect, so why would he deal with anyone less.
I store up at the sky, not knowing how much time had past. It was dark, even though when we met it was dawn. The time had past, the clouds turned to stars, yet nothing changed, it never would, not without Edward. Sure time would go on, times would change, lives would change, and along with it the people, but I wouldn't. I'd lost all passion for life. I would never have a breath as sweet a moment so pure, as it was when I was with him. Nothing could ever be the same. Nothing ever will be.
Without Edward, I was dead.
The time had passed, yet still no sign of him, no change, no stir. It was if I had lost everything from a dream fairy tale, only this time it wasn't a dream, not even like those dreams I had when I first met Edward, it was empty, dead. Only this time, it was worse. There was no way this could be a dream, not even a nightmare. It was to real. Every pain, every feeling, every detail, was so real. Paining everything, not even the sweet memories were good anymore. I had lost even that. There was nothing I could take solice in, nowhere I could run, no one I could turn to. The world cut me out and locked it's doors, leaving me in the dark cold. It was so dark. So empty, that there was nothing that I could even feel, nothing that existed anymore, only the dull cold.
"Bella, Bella are you there?" I heard a mans voice, but I couldn't respond, even if I wanted to, it wasn't the voice of the one I loved, it wasn't of the voice of my everything, it wasn't the voice of him. Edward.
Even his name seemed so distant to me now.
"Bella? Bella ? Bella!" Still nothing, no matter how much I stirred, my body wouldn't move, my voice wouldn't sound.
"Bella!" An old man came running toward me. He grabbed me, holding me tight. Even though he seemed so weak, he carried on, holding me the whole way.
"Charlie! Charlie! I've found her!"
"Bella!" Charlie came running toward me. "Put her down, we'll get her home." He spoke to the man with instruction, worry, and relif. His emotions were to troubled and complex. He was so worried that I was sick, but could not hide the relif that I was here. His emotions dissied me.
"Bella, are you okay?"
My voice tried to reasure him with all I had, but noting, I had been scared, and lost. I was hurt. "He's gone." It was all I could say, all I could think, it was all I had. I tried so hard, but I had nothing, I was fighting back all the tears I could. Losing my mind, the world turning into a flood.
"Shhh. It's okay, I know."
The world turned into a dark, cloudy, haze. Leaving me to drown in my sorrow, and sink within the tears of my heart. I had lost the last of me, there was nothing left to cry out, even though I couldn't stop. The world slipped away, I fell unconscious, leaving the world behind in the darkness.
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My sleep was restless, I could only repeat the memory of the past few hours, nothing else existed. Only him leaving me. I didn't know what to do, where to go. I was cold, so much, that ice burned against my skin. He left me, and I was empty. A tear escaped my eyes, the only thing left to do.
I tossed and turned, nothing changed, the memory stayed the same. I thought if I replayed it over and over, it would change, but it wouldn't. I thought if I could fight back, it would go away. But it doesn't.
I thought of what I could do to stop this, but there was nothing. My mind kept going back to when me and Jacob were kids. There was this cliff we used to play on, Charlie always said it was dangerous, but let us play anyway. I remembered the sharp rocks below, covered by the crashing waves. I had to jump, that was the only way to get him back.
My mind traced back and forth, from him to my plan, within my dreams. I didn't realize that I spoke in my sleep before I met Edward. I opened my eyes to see a shadowy figure, he looked so much like Edward.
"Don't do anything reckless, Bella."
He disappeared, I really thought it was him, but I must have been dreaming.