At the Door of no Return
by Keanu Grym
disclaimer: I don't own Oblivion
Ch.1 How it all begins
"Help me!" Were the words that Gregory Bertini, monk of the order of Stendarr, was looking for that day. They were the words his very mission in life demanded that he remedy and they were the words he heard yelled out not so far away behind him. He spun around to see what the commotion was and saw what appeared to be a desperate Khajiiti woman dressed in huntsman hides being pursued by two imperial woodsmen.
"Please, you must help me dear monk!" the Khajiiti woman said just as she reached him. Gregory put up his hands defensively saying, "Look miss, I would like to really, but the Nine stay my hand from helping the criminal. You just have to..."
"No you do not understand!" she hissed, "These are not guards, they are impostors!"
Before Gregory had time to respond or really register what she just said the two guardsmen finally reached them and one yelled, "Stop right there criminal! You are coming with us! Monk, do not listen to anything that Khajiit says."
The Khajiiti woman hid behind the monk to separate her self from the guards. Gregory tried to move away, but she matched his steps perfectly as the guards attempted to seize her. Spinning around and avoiding the sharp blades of the guards as they attempted to get to her Gregory had enough and said, "Wait just a minute here! Stop this nonsense and explain to me what is going on."
The Khajiiti woman was the first to speak saying, "These two are wolves in guard dog's clothing. They look like the law, but are bandits in disguise!"
One of the two woodsmen in suspect retorted, "This Khajiit that hides behind you is a deceitful thief who has used such words before to escape from the law, don't believe her holy man," he said with a pit of venom in the word "holy."
"Did you not hear dear monk? The talk of how there were two woodsmen who were found knocked out in between here and Skingrad. They never saw their attackers and were robbed blind. Even their clothes were gone!" said the Khajiiti woman.
The woodsmen were getting really irrate about now and the other said, "Sir, are you seriously going to believe this dribble coming from her mouth. If you don't get out of the way right now then I am afraid that we will have to take you in for obstructing the law, monk or not. Besides, you know all Khajiit are born liars and tricksters!"
Gregory was somewhat perplexed. He felt in his gut that something wasn't quite right and remembered hearing someone talk about two woodsmen knocked out by bandits. He wasn't getting the best of feelings from the woodsmen either. Perhaps it was the way one called him "holy man" with that bit of condescension in his voice or it was the way the other tried to plead to a prejudice against Khajiit that the man assumed the monk had, but didn't . It was just then that Gregory knew what to do.
"Now now, lets calm down I think I have the solution to our little problem here," Gregory said.
The two guards looked at each other and then at the monk, but never let the Khajiiti leave there sight. "Well monk, what are you going to do?", one said, "Help us or help her?"
Gregory answered, "It is my duty under the Nine to help all in need, gentlemen, but I know how to reveal the liar in this situation. The Khajiiti woman says your bandits in disguise and you say you are imperial woodsman. The duty of an imperial officer is to take criminals to the imperial city and the will of bandits is to get as far away from there as possible. I shall accompany all three of you to the imperial city and confirm with the watch if you two are indeed one of their own. If your story is true and not the Khajiit woman's then justice will be served appropriately. But if not then none of us will make it to the Imperial city and you two will attempt to take both our lives...and fail," he added confidently.
Neither the woodsmen nor the Khajiiti woman appeared to be pleased by the monk's plan. The two woodsmen looked at each other and then at the monk and then back at each other. Then one said, "Surely monk we do not have a problem with this arrangement and upon arrival to the Imperial city you will see who the liar really is. We will have to tie the hands of the Khajiit woman though so that she will not try to attack one of us if she tries to flee again."
Gregory turned to the Khajiiti woman and saw a fearful look in her eyes. He turned back to the woodsmen and then replied, "I have a better idea."
The imperial woodsmen shifted uneasily.
"We will not bind the Khajiiti woman just in case you are bandits. What will happen is this. One of you two will take point. Following the point man will be the Khajiiti woman. She will be unbound and keep the dagger she already has. This puts the point man in danger so I shall be behind the Khajiiti woman. If she attempts to escape or harm the woodsman in front the I can stop her with just one strike," the monk said.
"Just one strike you say?" asked a woodsman speculatively.
"Yes thats right," the monk answered.
The other then asked, "All right monk, but what if you fail to stop the Khajiit from harming the point man? What if she escapes? What are we going to have to report to our superiors?"
Gregory answered, "She won't harm the point man and she won't escape. Even if she did I would take full responsibility of any harm brought to an imperial officer even if it meant prison or death."
The two "woodsmen" were carefully going through the options in there head. Gregory saw this and knew in his gut that these "officers" weren't all that they were cracked up to be. Even for woodsmen the Imperial City was a far way away. If they had been thinking clearly they would have mentioned this and point out to the monk that they would have to take her to Skingrad, the closest city and then turn her over to their dungeon.
"Alright then. We'll play this your way monk. I'll take lead and Hugo takes the back. You had better hope that Khajiit doesn't try to slit my throat or you will be spending a long time in the Imperial dungeon," the woodsman said.
Gregory turned to the Khajiiti woman who was still unsure about all this and placed his hands on her shoulders. She looked at him and saw an assuring smile that put her worries to ease. The woodsmen got into position and she began to follow the lead with the monk behind her.
What happened next was entirely predictable to our dear monk. It wasn't but a few minutes during the pointless walk that the monk noted the shadow of the man Hugo on the ground. He saw that the man had raised his short sword and was ready to strike the monk dead thinking he had the advantage of being behind him. Chanting a silent spell the monk spun around and allowed the sword to glide harmlessly over his shoulder and struck the man with an inhumanly strong uppercut to the chin. The impostor flew up into the air momentarily and landed hard on his back. Behind him he could hear the horrified gasp of the other man along with the Khajiiti woman's giggling. The poor fool was left with nothing on except the suit he was born in.
"What? How did you?" he sputtered as he looked around at his clothes and equipment scattered around him. The poor fool cupped his privacy and glared angrily at the Khajiiti woman who laughed at him. Spotting his sword on the ground he seized it and attempted to lop the laughing cat woman's head off, but was intercepted with the monk's powerful fist. The man flew back into the air and fell with the grace of drunk cow.
Before the imposter's got into the formation that Gregory prescribed for the group the monk passed by the Khajiiti woman and slid into her hand the ring of stark reality. It was an interesting item that had the power to strip anyone down completely naked, by magical means. Gregory came by it as a gift from an old mage who liked to play practical jokes on people. Supposedly an artifact of the daedric prince Sanguine, Gregory rarely used it unless he had too. It wasn't a very monkish thing to do, but most bandits run away when stripped naked of all their things and it ended such conflicts without the use of violence.
"Well that takes care of that," the monk said while rubbing his temples. Now all he needed to do is tie the fools up and find a real imperial guard to take them to Skingrad prison. Before he could figure out a way to tie the impostor's up without rope he was immediately seized in the death grip of the grateful cat woman.
"This hunter thanks the kind monk that today she was not the prey!" She said with her furry head pressed against the holy man's chest. Gregory appreciated the sentiment, but was not so comfortable with the close proximity of the Khajiiti woman.
"No need to thank me, I am but a humble monk in service to the god's. Thank Stendarr who has seen it fit that we would meet on this day," the monk said while carefully prying the Khajiiti woman off of his person.
"Ah Stendarr, the god of mercy. You know in old country we called him S'rendarr. Always been a favorite of mine you know," she said as she strode over to one of the captive impostor's and kicked him in the gonads.
"You don't say," Gregory replied.
Turning away from the groaning man she walked back to Gregory. "Of coarse my all time favorite is the goddess Dibella. I even considered joining the nunnery, but you know what they say about those nuns," she said with more than just a little innuendo.
Gregory blushed. "Well um...yes I have heard things...and good for you that you would wish to avoid such scandalous behavior, however you really should not spread such rumors about the sisterhood of Dibella. They are just rumors created in the minds of the filthy."
"Oh yes, it is such a terrible thing for me to say. I am but a woman however, always victim to a wagging tongue," she said somehow making even that statement sound dirty.
This damsel in distress was very quickly making Gregory become distressed. Surely she wasn't...hitting on him? "Um...well that's all fine and all, but could I have my ring back please?" He asked.
"Oh, I am sorry I forgot all about your magical ring. Such a curious thing for a monk to have though," She said looking at the monk with a bit of mischief in her eye, "You wouldn't be stalking young maidens with this thing now would you?"
Gregory was somewhat offended by the accusation, "Preposterous! I am a chaste monk, I wouldn't even think of doing such a thing."
"Oh of coarse dear monk, forgive my foolishness, what was I thinking? A man of your position would never indulge in such scandalous behavior. However, a devious creature such as my self could very easily succumb to such temptations," she said while playfully point the ring the monks way.
Gregory held his breath. For a few seconds he honestly believed that this overly grateful feline, which was turning more into a femme fetale, would actually do such and thing. It wasn't in Gregory's nature to be prejudice, but right then he thought to himself that perhaps there was something to the idea that all Khajiit were thieves and he just handed this one an opportunity it couldn't refuse. Such thoughts however, were blown aside as the cat woman returned his ring back to his hand.
"Silly! You thought I was going to do it didn't you. I was only joking!" She said with much glee in her voice. Gregory was very much relieved, but didn't appreciate the Khajiiti woman's sense of humor.
"That's not very funny," Gregory said.
The Khajiit shrugged. "I can't help myself sometimes," she said and then thought for a moment, "You know what I never did think to ask what you're name was."
"Erm...Gregory Bertini," he replied.
The Khajiit smiled and held out her hand saying, "Call me Dar'mirra."
Looking at Dar'mirra's hand he was obliged to shake it lest he offend her by his rudeness. As he took her hand into his however he felt that somehow in someway he fell into a trap.