Wow, I wrote this story three freaking years ago. Back then I was a little immature kid, which made for a very immature story. However, some people seemed to like it, and I think it seems kind of funny, but I'd like to make it funnier, more organized, and overall more mature with the jokes. Kind of stupid how I used the word "perve" and "gay" a lot. Anyway, here's Link's Party Redux! Enjoy! Please read and review!
P.S. Zelda and Sheik are different characters. I don't know, I felt like it.
It's a Saturday night at Link's bachelor pad. He was having a party that night. All his friends, Rauru, Darunia, Ruto, Nabooru, Malon, Zelda, Saria, and Impa, are there. Just one friend missing…
The doorbell rings. Link walks over to it, and sees Ganondorf. "Hey man, what took you so long?"
"Well… work was a pain in the arse…"
***
Ganondorf is working at the drive-thru at McDonald's. The customer, an old man, asks, "yes… I'll have a Whopper."
"Sorry sir, this is a McDonald's. We don't sell that here. Do you want a Big Mac instead?"
"No, the doctor says they are bad for my cholesterol and besides, I can't open my mouth wide enough to put them in. I'll just have a Whopper."
"Look, a Whopper is just as bad for you anyway. It doesn't really matter right now because we don't have any Whoppers."
The old man, with a tear down his eye, says "…but they're so tasty"
"Uh…" sighed Ganondorf, "this will take a while."
***
Link replied "whatever, shit happens. Let's forget about that and party!" Link and Ganondorf walk into the main room where all their friends are. "What do you guys all wanna do?"
"Let's watch a movie!" says Ruto.
"Let's dance!" says Saria.
"Let's paint our nails and talk about cute boys!" says Rauru. Everyone stares at him in complete silence. "Um… yeah."
After about a minute, Link breaks the silence. "Um… yeah. I got some CDs here." Link looks through his CD collection and mutters what he sees. "Hm… Jay-Z… Marilyn Manson… Death… Rick Astley… and um… Dance Mix. How 'bout Dance Mix?"
The music starts and everybody starts dancing. Ganondorf slowly comes to Nabooru, in a voice where he is trying too hard to sound manly. "Oh yea Nabby!" At this, she slaps him right in the face. "Hey baby, remember that time when…" Before he can finish his sentence, he gets slapped again. He walks away sad.
Rauru does the same as Ganondorf, only to Link. "Hey pretty boy, wanna dance?"
"Hahahaha… no." replies Link, laughing sarcastically.
"You're looking cute tonight…"
"Fuck off pervito."
In a nearby room, Ganondorf and Darunia are casually playing pool. "Those were the good ol' days…" says Ganondorf.
"Hell they were. Being with my friends and all and picking up babes… Good times, good times."
"I gotta admit, probably better for me. I mean, I'm the King of Evil, heh. I mean, I'm the only male in my race in 100 years, and I had hundreds of hot Gerudo chicks all over me!"
"Gerudo chicks sure are hot. Especially that Nabooru chick." Ganondorf and Darunia laugh.
Back on the dance floor, Ruto asks Link, "hey Link, wanna get away from all this madness and go somewhere a little more private?"
"Hell no! I'm having a-" Before he could finish, Ruto punches Link in the gut and drags him to his room and locks the door.
Nearby, Zelda, Malon, and Nabooru are arguing about how they all were going to ask out Link tonight. One by one, all the girls get into a catfight. Ganondorf and Darunia quit their game of pool and rush to the catfight. "Oh yeah! Let's go Nabooru!" cheers Ganondorf.
Rauru also rushes to the scene. He screams "Link is my man!" and jumps to the center of the catfight. All the girls back away, leaving Rauru stranded in the middle. Everybody else freezes in silence.
"Hey… where is Link anyway?" asks Malon. The three girls find a locked door and hear noises inside. Zelda uses her magic to unlock the door. They all scream in disgust. They see the disgusting sight of a slimy, sweaty, Ruto on top of Link.
"Shit…" sighed Link.
So, what did you guys think? Better than my original so far? I know this is short, but I will make the other chapters longer.