(Author's Note: Alright, people! This is 'Sonny with a Chance of Tru Blood' -notice how I spelled True, which means Tru, from Tru Jackson V.P is gonna be in this- But, for now. Enjoy the first chapter, and the introduction of Sonny Monroe.)
Rating for this chapter: 'T'.. Though, at some point, this is going 'M'.
It was a late afternoon, when country-pop music began to fill the heavy, humid air. Sonny Monroe bounced happily to the beat of the music, her yellow wedge-heels clopped on the ground like horse hooves, her skin-tight black skinny jean-clad thighs rubbed loudly against eachother; gaining painful looks from passerbys.
As she continued her trek to Bon Temps' one, and only Bar\Diner; Merlotte's, a big-giant mosquitoe dove out of the swamp, hungry for blood. HER BLOOD! Sonny shrieked, and began to gallop down the road. She was looking for help, but no one seemed to care. It wasn't until she bumped into a solid form; one that belonged to a man. Did she finally get the assistance she needed.
Well.. Obviously, she didn't! That man turned out to be a bloodsucker himself. "Rawr!" He exclaimed, showing off his scruvy-ravaged teeth. His breath smelled of dog shit, and his tongue was covered in green mossy-like plaque.
Seeing this, Sonny immediately turned around, and was impaled by the mosquitoe's stinger. "AHHHHHH!" She shrieked, flailing her arms stupidly.
The vampire, who's name was Bill, took the chance, and went for Sonny's neck. "Mmm.. So.. s-o- g-double 'O'- D.. GOOOOOOD!" He drawled with a fake country accent, as he sunk his teeth into her pale, wrinkly neck.
"Oh! Give me a break!" She screeched loudly into Bill's ear! Even as she was being attacked by two different creatures, Sonny still lacked the personality to make her pain believable.
As all this comotion was happening, a woman in her mid-twenties spotted Sonny being attacked. This woman, who was named Sookie, noticed the struggle, and recognised the attacker as her boyfriend; Bill. "HEY! BILL! Get y'er teeth off that grrrl, and let's go HOME!" She called out.
Bill looked up at the gap-toothed blonde across the street. "Well, baby! You don't feed me no mo'.. What am I s'posed to do?"
Sookie stomped over, and yanked Bill's mouth away from Sonny's neck. "Bill, you listen to what I gots to say!" Slapping him up a few times, the blonde began dragging Bill away from the girl, when Sonny called out! "Hell! I'm dying here, this Mo-Ski-TOE is still a-sucking! Get 'em off my bawdy, please!"
Sookie instructed Bill to kill the mosquitoe, but he didn't want to. Using his cheesy 'speeshal' effects, he zoomed out of the area. "Damnit, Bill! You nevah listen to me, anymore!" Throwing her hair over her shoulder, Sookie stomped over to wrangle the insect herself.
It took well into the evening time to finally kill the beast, and it's reinforcements. "Well, damn girl! I see you're weak.." Sookie pointed out the obvious, as she helped the wounded girl to her feet. "Looks like you need a place to stay! Why don't you come with me, back to my place?" Waggling her eyebrows suggestively, she added. "Bon Temps is a GREAT place to live.. Are you new?"
Sonny coughed up another cup full of blood. "Yeah! I-I came to visit my grandmother.. She lives in a big blue house, behind some place named 'F-Fang Buster?'.." Pulling a face at the raunchy name, the brunette looked up at Sookie; who was picking her nose.
"-Uh-whu? Oh, you must be talkin' bout 'Fangtasia'.." Retrieveing some of her 'nose-gold', Sookie smiled. "You know, Eric owns the place.. I hate him, though. This Eric is a corn-loving, booty-buster. And he made me drink his blood! That's why I hate him."
Sonny screwed her face up in confusion. "Uhhh.. Can I go to the hospital?" Coughing up another round of crimson liquid, the girl face-planted on the ground.
"Oh! Stop being so dramatic!" Sookie pulled the girl up-right. "We'll go somewhere to get you patched up!"
-B-O-O-T-Y-B-U-S-T-I-N-G-C-O-R-N-L-O-V-E-R!-
Sonny woke up inside a diner. "Oh, toots! Where am I, now?" Looking around, she took in the tacky atmosphere that could only belong to Merlotte's Bar\Diner. Sookie, who was working in the back, noticed that Sonny was awake.
"Oh, sorry girl! I had a shift, and-um.. I couldn't take you to the hospital." Sookie shrugged. "So.. I had my friend here-" She motioned to the greasy black dude covered in sweat. He was wearing a pair of womens pantyhoes on his head, five layers of hookery-black mascara, a tight fishnet haltertop, a pair of burnt orange go-go shorts, mis-matching tube socks, and a pair of glittery gold platforms.
Sonny slowly turned her head away. "Uh- What'd you do to me?" The man, who was named Lafayette, looked at her. "Oh, grrrrrrl. I ain't touch yo' shit, yo' snatch, yo' tiny boobs.. All I did was throw some lickah in the hole on yo' stomach.. Oh, and I wrapped you up with-" He paused to dig in his pockets. Retrieveing the item, he held it up. It was a roll of toilet paper. "-this stuff."
"A-wha! Lafayette, you weren't supposed to tell her that!" Sookie chided. "Well- Uh.. I don't think you wanna be back here for the rest of my shift, so.. Do you want to go out front? Sam won't let me give you free food, so I can only give you a 1% discount on the drinks."
Sonny nodded slowly, as she tried to stand up. Sookie noticed the brunette's attempt to get up, so she rushed to her side. "Oh, oh! Don't worry, I'll help you up!" Grabbing a noodle-like arm, the blonde guided her out of the kitchen, and into the main area.
Shoving Sonny into a nearby chair, Sookie bounced away to take a order. "This place.. It's so much different than that phony diner from the 'So Random!' set." Frowning, she began to play with straws, that sat in a dirty cup, on the table.
"Hey! You gotta pay for those!" Barked a man, who was named Sam. His hair was an ABSOLUTE mess, and he looked like a ugly bristish guy. (Who kinda looked like the guy from 28 weeks later.)
Sonny jumped ten feet over her table. "WAH!" She screamed, landing ass-first on the furniture.
"You got money to pay for dem straws? HM?" He asked, cornering her.
Sonny whimpered, as the big man casted a shadow so dark, she couldn't see her hand. "No, sir.. All my money has gone missing.. Since I arrived here." Unbeknowst to her, Lafayette sat in the back, counting her cabbage. "Mmm, bitches. Lafayette's got some dough to shave his cookie, tonight!"
"Hey! Hoe! I order ma' food ten minutes ago! Where it at?" Called a rowdy patron, as he banged his fist on the table.
Sonny looked up at Sam. "Aren't you gonna stop him? He's harrassing the waitresses!"
Sam looked down at her. "Fuck that. Bitch got some money, so he can say whatever he wants.. Unlike someone who ain't got the cash." Rubbing his fingers together, he grunted.
Sonny looked away, sweat forming on her browline. "H-hey, my friend can help me.. Call her out the back.. She's got a gap, just like me." She said, pointing at her mouth.
"You mean Sookie? That trash-whore's always picking people off the streets.. I'll get her." As he continued to grumble, Sam disappeared into the kitchen. While Sam was busy looking for Sookie, Sonny called over one of the waitresses.
"Hey! Excuse me." She shouted. A waitress with red hair looked her way. "Hmm? What'd you need?" She said, walking over while scratching her inner thigh. Sonny gawked at the disgusting sight. "Uh- Water, please?" Her want to eat suddenly left.
"Sure, sweetheart. I'll be back." The redhead smiled.
As the woman disappeared in the back, Sam and Sookie came out. "Do you know her?" Sam barked, pointing at Sonny. Sookie blinked, before looking at the brunette. "Oh! Yeah! That's.. Uh- What's yer' name?"
"My name is Sonny! Sonny Monroe!" Slamming her fist on the table, she frowned at the two eyesores.
"Oh! Okay." Sookie looked up at Sam expectantly. "Well, I ain't got any money.. Until you pay me on friday... But, I have a better idea! How about you hire little Sonny here. Till she can pay off 'dem straws... And that water."
Sam looked Sonny up and down. "Hmm.. She's a little young for me.. But, she's definitely got the 'sex appeal' to sell those shorts." Grabbing her hand, Sam turned her around to examine her booty. "UGH! No ass at all!" Making a sad face, he looked at Sookie. "Turn around, lemme see 'dat ass.."
Sookie spun around, and wiggled her hips. Sam grimaced. "UGH!-" He gagged alittle. "-It's 'bout the same.. Alright, you got the job. You start tomorrow." As he bounded towards his office, he paused. "Eh-yo, Tara! Lemme see 'dat ass!" When she too showed off her jiggly-wiggly, Sam smiled. "There we go! No pancakes in sight!" As Tara tried to turn around to face him, Sam dove at her, and smashed her face into the floor. "No! Don't you dare turn around!"
Sonny gaped in shock. "I work here! Oh, no!" Burying her face into her hands, she whispered. "What would my cast-mates say, if they saw me here?"
As Sonny continued to cry, and fuss about her new job, Sookie smiled. "Oh! This is just to pay off those straws, and junk! Calm down." Patting the girl on the back, she added. "Who knows, you might meet 'yer prince charming, like I met Bill!"
"Ugh! That freak! Sookie, he attacked me! He ain't no prince charming!" Sonny pointed to her neck wound. "He's a vampire, Sookie! A vampire!" When she noticed that the blonde wasn't paying attention, Sonny huffed.
Just as Sookie was about to speak, the front door swung open, and a small group of vampires flitted in. They all had drugged expressions, especially the tallest; he was blonde, and he was missing his eyebrows. His face was the only thing pale on him. And he was wearing a black tanktop, black skinny jeans, and a dirty leather jacket. "Sookie.. Where's Sookie..?" He breathed robotically.
Sonny froze with fear. "Who is this guy, and his gang? Are they gonna cause any trouble?" Biting her clownish-red lips, she glanced around for an alternate exit. "Maybe I can sneak out of here unnoticed?" As she began to slide out of her chair, she noticed that his big eyes were locked on her. "Oh.. Shit! What do I do!"
"I don't see too many mexicans around here.." The tall man said, as he used his terrible speeshal effects to zoom into the chair across from her. ".. Especially ones who smell as bad as you do." He winked.
-T-O-B-E-C-O-N-T-I-N-U-E-D-P-L-O-X!-