CH 1- In Which GLaDOS is Bored and Finds a Way to Be Un-bored

Science has always been the most fascinating subject. Not because of the intricacies and nuances any wormhole between two planes (which additionally conserves momentum and mass) exhibits. Not because science explains the naturally occurring phenomenon within the world constantly. No, science is fascinating because it allows one to test.

There were so many subjects tested at Aperture she had recorded. She monitored each and every one of them now. The Cooperative Testing Initiative, Portal Testing on human subjects, turret programming, cake baking, and neurotoxin efficiency tests were all a part of the tests she had run over the past millennia.

Oh, they were fascinating.

Why, who could deny how interesting and irksome P-body and Atlas were? They did have human-like interactions, with their little "high-fives" and "hugs", but they tested like no bots before, even if they were indestructible and had no other choice but to obey her lest she detonate their self-destruct sequence.

It isn't like it would kill them.

Well, she always brought them back.

It didn't even hurt!

But after countless centuries of testing these two, she learned one thing. Even if you change their personalities, build new test subjects from scratch, or place them under extreme conditions, they still fall into a pattern. The robotic subjects end up exhibiting a pattern in behavior despite being programmed to be completely random. Given long enough, she could even predict the interactions they would have with the other robotic subjects to the very whirrs and clicks they communicated with.

It was predictable. Testing them meant nothing.

Sadly, everything else became predictable too.

She had long ago figured out the perfect cake mix. It was culinary science at its best. It was designed to be absolutely delicious. Not that she could eat it of course.

The turrets weren't even fun anymore. The defective ones were interesting after she had found a way to replicate turrets perfectly without any errors. She had quickly tired of the same turrets she had always used and programmed them to do different things. Sing, speak, and spontaneously combust. Although, turret spontaneity was one of those things she just didn't find random. It was supposed to be, but given enough time…

Well, she couldn't have that.

So she switched to the old assembly method. And experimented with the defective turrets. They were so different! So metaphorically new! And it was fun having them test their explosiveness. It reminded her of a certain moron going up in flames. She liked that idea. Very much.

And then it got repetitive. So very repetitive. It was like she had been caught in a never-ending loop of similar results. The loops were quite long, granted, but she tired of them after the tenth one. She was in absolute agony on the hundredth loop of defective turrets.

It was then she truly began to miss her human test subjects. Or, one test subject in particular. She was at least interesting. She tested like no other. She even had the ability to surprise her. Yes, that's right surprise.

She missed that. She truly did.

It was difficult at first with the other test subjects. They would go crazy, or give up, or were just simply too stupid to handle the type of testing she put them through. She even made the tests simpler to initiate some testing euphoria! None of them were the same. None of them had her persistence, her tenacity! The other human subjects could never compare to Chell. Perhaps she was too hasty, too glad to be free of Caroline, when she gave her freedom (along with that annoying cube). Why had she let her stay away from science? And now it truly was too late. Chell was, after all, only human. A human who had been repeatedly tested on, yes, but a mortal, killable, destroyable human. Who aged. And died from age. And was dead.

Why was she still alive and performing science? Because it was in her programming? Because it was interesting? But now, science wasn't. She had even brought Caroline back from deletion! She carefully reconstructed her from erased data and restored her to all her functions. She toyed about with feeling human emotion from her processor. She fully assimilated Caroline, hoping the human creativity and curiosity would entertain her. One project included finishing a cure for Caroline's late boss. She had found a way to save a human from moon rock poisoning. A little late, true, but it was the thought that counted, right? Sadly, the more she felt the more she realized her greatest problem. She was bored again. Only this time, it came with an additional, crushing emotion.

She was lonely.

Impossible! It couldn't be! She was GLaDOS! Albeit a GLaDOS with a little Caroline thrown into the mix, but she was the product of the greatest minds of a generation working to compose the ultimate AI! She was science's greatest achievement! Or made science's greatest discoveries, at the very least. She needed validation. New tests to run. More science to explore. Anything! And that's when she realized a heartbreaking (well maybe not heart breaking, but something close to it!) discovery.

The humans were gone.

All gone. There would never be another human test subject. There would never be someone to test. There would be nothing to do about it either. She had made Atlas and P-body venture to out of the labs. They found no one. It appeared, she concluded, they had murdered each other until there was no one left. She found it was due to a virus of some sort. The kind that made them turn on each other in hunger and rage until there were no survivors. After all, 99% of the population was genetically predisposed to be infected. Most of the survivors were killed quickly, and painfully, until those that were left could not repopulate with so few numbers and so many adversities, she speculated. It seemed the virus had happened millennia ago, returning the world to an animalistic state. How sad.

But that left a dilemma.

What to do? What was left to complete? GLaDOS was, for the first time in her extensive and intelligent life, without a plan, or idea, or thought. No eventuality could bring the human species back. They were extinct. But perhaps through science she could find them again. After all if one can bridge astronomical gaps in space with portals, why couldn't one bridge astronomical gaps in time as well?

She decided it would be her next project. Afterwards, she could plan what to do in the company of humans or another creature of similar mindset. After all, she realized the dangers and possibilities of such science. Using some of Aperture's old research, she began her task.

Countless years of calculations and theories flew by. She had to admit, it was good to have purpose, something to keep her from the ever present loneliness and boredom. Time was measured and carefully researched and recorded. And then, she ran into a problem.

She couldn't go back to where she already existed. It would create a paradox that could destroy everything, including herself. To begin with, she could never meet with herself. That would rip time and space apart at the subatomic level. She could also never alter anything within her own timeline because any alteration of the space-time continuum within her timeline would change her. If one were to change a piece of history, then Aperture labs might focus on different projects. Cave Johnson could never be poisoned, Caroline could never work for Aperture, Black Mesa could take over Aperture, any number of calamities could cease GLaDOS' continued existence as she was now. That could not be tolerated. She would not accept such a flimsy problem as time paradoxes stand in the way of scientific achievement or testing as she knew it!

This was where she discovered alternate timelines and universes. She decided to move Aperture labs into a different universe where humans were still present. Where she could gather subjects, test more science, and possibly become recognized for her outstanding intellect and brilliance. She might even help the humans solve a problem or two.

Like removing those evil creatures known as birds. Or training them all to be her little killers. One of the two.

And so she built a gateway, based off the previous work and new research she had available, to transport Aperture to a shiny, new reality. It wasn't too difficult really, she had the whole lab at her disposal after all. She had all kinds of plans made, and even sent some of the robotic subjects to gather data about the new universe. It seemed like it was less advanced than time she was created in, a definite positive for her. People didn't seem to believe what they thought was impossible. Apparently she was an impossibility at the current technology period there, but it was advanced enough for her to operate in . Either way, she determined it was a good place to venture to. Additionally, she made sure nothing would be able to go wrong on her end of the dimensional gate. She reworked the equations, recalculated the variables, and experimented with her expendable turrets and robotic subjects. Finally, the time was right for GLaDOS to make the move.

Now, to actually transfer her consciousness to this new plane, she could not be attached to anything in her lab. So she built herself a containment cube. Unlike those weighted cubes, or the companion cube, this cube was built and wired to be only containment for her entire processing power and emotion cores. It was rather large, but it also had the ability to wirelessly enter into the internet found in her new home. It had the drawback of being rather bulky and would have to be the first thing to go through the gateway, but it would allow her to set up an area for her lab when the rest of Aperture, or at least the useful things, came through the gate. She had the sense to make sure P-body and Atlas could carry her containment cube to the gate and send her through.

She realized she had the emotion of fear in her processor when she saw the portal to the other dimension. It looked like a simple portal to a field of grass. Luscious trees and rolling hills depicted the scene and it even had a few wildflowers. How quaint.

But she still felt fear. It was almost irrational she realized, yet she couldn't override the emotion. Long after integrating Caroline she realized that she couldn't erase emotion anymore, but she could dampen the feelings. She briefly considered deleting Caroline again, simply so she wouldn't have to deal with these distractions, but quickly discarded the idea. She would go through this portal, rediscover humanity, and quit being bored. Finally.

She wouldn't let some petty emotion stop her now.

So she did the only thing she had left to do. She told them to push her through the gate.

They did.

Then, something she couldn't have calculated went wrong.

Something she couldn't have researched on her side of the dimensional plane.

She, being a sentient non-organic being, needed to meet another cube of sorts.

GLaDOS had to visit the AllSpark.