See You Do Love Me – Chapter 1 – Don't Jump! Not Ready? Bella's POV
I stood at the edge of the cliff waiting to hear the beautiful voice in my head.
Bella, don't do this. I smiled as my eyes slid closed.
It's the only part of you I have left.
I took a step closer.
Bella, No!
Yes!
"Bella!" My eyes snapped open when I realized the voice didn't belong to…him.
"What are you doing? Were you trying to get yourself killed? Can't you see the weather changing? What were you thinking?" all came out in one breath.
To be honest I guess I wasn't thinking. But I thought better of telling him that and decided to just deny it.
"Calm down Jake. I wasn't going to jump." I lied.
Then, so fast I didn't know how it happened, I was in his arms. I couldn't see his face so I wasn't sure if he bought my horrible lie. Instead of pulling away, I just wrapped my arms around his waist.
"Come on Bells, I'll drive you home." He said, removing his arms and taking my hand in his warm one. It was then that I realized how cold I was. It seemed he realized it too because he gently placed an arm over my shoulder.
"Okay."
When we got to the truck I let Jake drive and settled for scooting across the seat to get as close to the heat as I could. And checked the time on my watch.
"Jake it's still early could we maybe go back to your house and watch tv or something?"
"Sure." I looked up to his face. He seemed kind of out of it – kind of upset.
"Jake? What's wrong?"
"It's nothing."
I knew he was trying to keep something from me.
"Tell me what's going on."
He sighed. "Harry Clearwater had a heart attack today."
I gasped. Harry was one of Charlie's best friends. I felt bad for Charlie. I felt terrible for having scared Jake today. And I felt horrible for Harry's family.
"I'm so sorry, Jake."
"It's not your fault Bella." When we got to his house, he pulled my chin up so he could look into my eyes.
We stayed that way for awhile staring into each other's eyes. So it shocked me when he tilted his head down a little.
No! I wasn't ready yet. Not yet. Was I?
He felt me freeze and straightened up. He let go of my chin and opened the door.
The look on his face clearly spelled out hurt and rejection. I hated that I couldn't feel the same way. I just wasn't ready yet. Maybe I could try…No, best not to get his hopes up if I can't come through on my part.
He grabbed me and pulled me up to the house. When we got inside, we dropped down on the couch. And watch tv for a while.
I knew I had to get home soon so that I could be there for Charlie and Jake offered to take me home. I agreed because he was just trying to take care of me and I knew it. Why not make it easier for him.
We rode the entire trip home in silence. Jake looked thoughtful, but I kept my mouth shut and decided not to press anything.
As soon as he pulled up in the driveway he hopped out and watched me make my way up to the porch steps. I opened the door and turned to say goodbye to Jake, but he was already gone.
I sighed and went to start dinner for Charlie.
Charlie came in just as I was finishing. He looked exhausted.
I strode over to hug him. He immediately hugged me back.
"I'm so sorry about Harry Dad."
"Yeah. He was a great guy. I'm going to do my best for Sue and the kids."
I couldn't picture what poor Sue, Leah, and Seth were going through.
"Dinner will be done in just a minute dad." I said as I walked back over to the stove.
Dinner that night was much the same. So I washed the dishes while Charlie hurried off to the living room and watched the game.
After I finished the dishes, I was about to go take a shower and get in bed when the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey Bells. Sorry about running off earlier." The husky voice replied.
"Hey Jake. No, it's okay. So what's up?"
"Oh yeah. I was just calling to ask if you were going to the bonfire this weekend."
"Uh, sure."
"Okay. Well, I'll see you later then."
"Yeah. Bye Jake."
"Bye."
I went upstairs to take a shower and wash my hair.
I wasn't quite prepared to go through the nightmares yet, so I checked my email.
There was a letter from Renee. I replied quickly, feeling bad for not keeping my own mom updated, and sent it off.
I turned the computer off, closed my eyes, and groaned turning back to the bed.
I opened my eyes, to not risk falling, and strolled over to the bed.
"Ugh." I plopped down on the bed.
After tossing for what seemed like hours. I drifted off to a sleep of nightmares – both dreadful and beautiful.