This is just a random thing i thought of in pizza hut yesterday...it's not that good so don't have high expectations; I just thought it was funny. Please rate and review!
Sesshomaru left Ah-Un in the car park, in a space between a black sedan and a small blue Renault Clio.
'Now, Ah-Un, don't move from this spot, okay?' instructed Rin. 'We'll be right back, and if you're good, we'll being you some pizza!' Un growled with pleasure. Pizza was his favourite.
'Rin!' called a voice from the other side of the car park.
'Coming, Lord Sesshomaru' Rin cried merrily, checking Ah-Un once more to make sure it stayed put. As Rin ran across the road, a car driving towards her screeched on the brakes, stopping about five centimetres from where she had been. Sesshomaru heard the squeal of brakes and the driver's angry cursing. He frowned. What did he care if it was an accident? Someone had endangered Rin, and he would pay.
The driver's swearing was added to by the hiss of air erupting from all four of his tyres; the demon lord had used his whip of light to puncture them. Smiling to himself, Sesshomaru turned and guided a happy Rin through the doors of Pizza Hut.
Everyone in the vicinity of the door stopped talking/eating/making out immediately. While Rin had dressed sensibly in jeans and plain t-shirt, Sesshomaru remained in his usual kimono, armour, black boots, sash and fur decoration. His long silver hair, pointed ears, crescent shaped mark and golden eyes were gradually drawing attention to their little party. It didn't help that Tokijin and Tenseiga were still strapped at his side. And when Jacken entered carrying the Staff of Two Heads, all chance of going unnoticed went right out of the window. Not that Sesshomaru minded; he liked being the centre of attention and pretending it didn't bother him.
'A table for three,' he said smoothly to the nervous looking waiter behind the reception lecturn.
'Err, yes, certainly sir,' the waiter stuttered, eyeing Tokijin nervously. 'Err, would you like a booth?' Sesshomaru glanced down at Rin, who nodded her head energetically.
'That will be acceptable,' the demon lord assured elegantly.
The waiter led the way to the back of the restaurant, giving pleading looks to his colleagues for help, but everyone avoided his eyes.
'Sesshomaru!' the demon lord turned at the sound of his name. At the end of the aisle stood Inuyasha, his face covered with tomato sauce (he had just eaten spaghetti bolognaise). 'Sesshomaru!' the angry hanyou repeated, in his fighting pose. The demon lord regarded his brother coolly. He, like Sesshomaru, was dressed in his normal clothes, red hakama and hitoe, the Tetsaiga strapped to his belt; he hadn't even thought to put on shoes. Who knew what had accumulated on the bottom of them. Sesshomaru let the disgust show plainly on his face. 'What are you doing here?' Inuyasha roared, moving to draw his sword.
'Nice to see you too, little brother. Be assured, if it were not for Rin we would not be in this place, and if not for the tedium of it, I would not think twice about killing you here and now.' Sesshomaru turned with all the sophistication and elegance he could muster, and sat down at his table, ignoring Inuyasha and knowing it would annoy him terribly.
'Stand up and fight, Sesshomaru!' The demon lord rolled his eyes.
'Inuyasha,' he said sighingly, 'You ought to be careful. If you get any angrier, your face will merge with that spaghetti sauce smeared all over it. No doubt your blood is sullied enough already.'
'You take that back!'
'Make me.'
Kagome sighed.
'Inuyasha! Sit!' You would never be able to tell those two were brothers, not in a million years. By now the manager himself had come to the restaurant to see what was going on, but, seeing the situation already diffused, and with a fearful glance at Sesshomaru, he quickly departed for Ibiza.
The waiter who had shown Sesshomaru to his table had quietly sneaked away in the distraction, and now was having a fierce and whispered argument with the rest of the waiting staff as to who would go near him.
'No way am I going within ten feet of that guy! Or his psycho brother!' the waiter hissed. None of the others seemed too eager about it either. For the while they had placated the demon lord with a glass of finest house red, a coke and colouring crayons for the little girl with him, and a fresh orange juice for the thing. At the other table, the guy in red was busy scoffing his way trough the menu, his friend carrying the jingling staff was molesting every waitress that walked past, and the two girls with them were trying to look inconspicuous. Fat chance.
Just at that moment, the doors of Pizza Hut opened. The waiters' lives were saved.
'Lazuli! You like demon lords, don't you?' the head waiter asked desperately.
'…….' replied Lazuli. All the waiters were crowding round her, hope brimming in their eyes. She couldn't help but be a little overwhelmed.
'See that guy over there, Lazuli? He's a demon lord called Sesshomaru,' a waitress called Cara pointed out. He's hot, thought Lazuli, watching Sesshomaru take a delicate sip of his wine. 'And that one's his brother. Me and Rio think he's hiding something underneath that baseball cap,' her friend continued, 'how would you like to wait on both of their tables?' There was something frantic in Cara's voice that Lazuli couldn't place. He's kinda hot too, she thought, but that Sesshomaru is way hotter.
'Well, that's settled then,' said Rio, thrusting a notebook and pencil into Lazuli's hands, 'off you go!' and with a collective push the waitress was thrust out into Sesshomaru's vicinity, daunted by the task ahead of her.
Meanwhile, Rin was busy looking at the menu, which was quite interesting, since she didn't know how to read. She had finished with the little colouring book provided by the restaurant. Inuyasha was throwing hackies (evil looks) at his half brother, while munching his way through the largest meat monster Pizza Hut possessed, and Sesshomaru responded by pretending Inuyasha wasn't there; he shielded his view with his own copy of the menu.
'Milord, why don't we just leave?' Jacken asked. 'You don't have to put yourself through being in the same vicinity as that hanyou, if you don't want to.'
'Jacken, do not forget that it is Rin's birthday next week. She wished to come to pizza hut –' although I would have preferred the Ritz '- and so we must oblige her.' Rin beamed at the demon lord and began drawing a portrait of him with her excellent quality red, blue and green crayons; he returned it with a small, kindly smile. For him it was a milestone.
The waitress called Lazuli walked up, ignoring the worried looks of her 'friends'. Honestly, you'd think she was going to be eaten alive.
'Are you ready to order yet?' she asked politely. Sesshomaru consulted Rin for a second.
'No, not yet, come back in five minutes or so.' He gazed up with those golden eyes of his, straight into Lazuli's green ones.
'Ok, then.' She sprinted as slowly as possible back to Cara.
'I can't do this!' she wailed, pretending to sort out the till.
'Why ever not?' Cara asked, 'You're not scared of him, are you?'
Lazuli looked appalled. 'Moi, scared? You must be joking! It's just…'
'Just what?'
'He's too hot.' Lazuli blushed crimson. Cara blinked.
'You're kidding me?'
Lazuli's eye twitched. 'He has a sword, long silver hair, and golden eyes; what do you think?' Cara wisely backed off from the conversation.
Inuyasha had now finished his meat feast pizza.
'How come you didn't tell me about this place before, Kagome?' he said. Kagome was to busy trying to convince everybody that she had never met the half demon in her life before to notice. Sango and Miroku were doing likewise. Suddenly, a waitress appeared next to their table.
'Can I get you anything else?' she asked politely. Miroku was the first to react to this pretty new waitress and gave her his usual line. Next minute he was sitting outside Pizza Hut with a black eye and sodden clothes (it had begun to rain). Sango couldn't help but be impressed. Inuyasha, meanwhile, had been eyeing the ice cream factory in the corner. He ordered one of those.
Lazuli went back to Sesshomaru's table, trying not to blush too much. If he suspected, she could always say she had just emigrated from Antarctica and found it too warm.
'Are you ready to order yet?' she asked politely. Again.
'Yes please,' replied Rin. 'I'll have one of those –' she jabbed the menu '- one of those, and that.' Lazuli scribbled shorthand on a piece of paper.
'And you sir?' she asked Sesshomaru. Once again the demon lord looked at her.
'I am not hungry,' he said. His voice is so hot.
Inuyasha broke Lazuli's gawking. He had somehow managed to get his hair caught in the ice cream machine. Unfortunately, all of the other waiters were too scared to help him.
'Would you excuse me for a second?' Lazuli sighed in exasperation. How could someone get caught in the ice cream factory? Even three year olds managed to avoid it. On top of that, Inuyasha had somehow managed to switch the machine on, but couldn't turn it off again. Ice cream was going everywhere, and the half demon was covered in it.
'Kagome! Get this thing off me!' he screamed. 'It must be a demon in disguise; it must be trying to steal the Tetsaiga!' Kagome sighed. I am not with him. Lazuli tried to help, but the hanyou lashed out, refusing all help. He started kicking the machine but only got himself more entangled. This is going to cost us a fortune.
Sesshomaru watched all of this unfold with detached amusement. Only his half brother could manage to do such an idiotic thing. At first he decided just to watch, it entertained Rin and only let the truth be known about Inuyasha: he was a complete numbskull. But then there was the waitress, trying vainly to stop him thrashing, an impossible task.
By now, the ice cream factory was being pummelled by Inuyasha. The ice cream mixture was spurting everywhere, including on Sesshomaru. That was the final straw.
'Inuyasha!' the demon lord said, his quiet voice resonating with power. A metaphorical thundercloud appeared over his head. Everyone stopped. 'Have you any idea how much this outfit cost me? Or how much it is going to cost to get these ice cream stains out?' Duh-Duh-Duh!
Inuyasha somehow extricated himself from the ice cream factory, and drew Tetsaiga. The customers and waiters all his behind their chairs. Only Lazuli was left standing.
'Time out!' she cried, dashing in between them, 'this is no way to solve anything!'
'Out of the way human, or I will be forced to kill you as well,' was Sesshomaru's reply. What a mistake that was.
'If you dare do that, I will only come back as a ghost and plague you for all eternity. Just think about that,' Lazuli growled, rounding on the demon lord. 'You need to arm wrestle for it. If Sesshomaru wins, Inuyasha has to pay for his laundry, and if Inuyasha wins, well…we'll sort that out if we come to it.'
'Don't you think I'll win?' Inuyasha cried, hysterical. His older brother smiled, already putting away Tokijin. It was his dangerous face and Inuyasha didn't feel very safe without Tetsaiga.
'3, 2, 1 – begin!' Lazuli said. The two brothers were locked in a deadly arm wrestle, the younger straining and growling with exertion, but Sesshomaru's face was as smooth as usual. He was obviously going to win. Everyone scarpered for m the building, except for Lazuli and Kagome, who were refereeing.
The night ended with a grumpy Kagome paying lord Sesshomaru for his laundry (Inuyasha was broke); the hanyou in question was on kitchen detail for destroying the ice cream factory, and to pay for the meal because Kagome refused to do it. He was grumbling about, well, everything. Kagome, Sesshomaru, not being able to use Tetsaiga, Kagome, and indigestion.
'Inuyasha –sit boy!' the hanyou crashed to the ground in a wash of soap suds and water
'Where did you get that?' Lazuli asked in awe.
'From priestess Kaede,' Kagome replied.
'I gotta get me one of those,' came the reply.