(The following is a parody of a fanfiction, the goal is to exaggerate important social issues in the global market)

Chapter 1: The task

TRIGGER WARNING! IF YOU ARE A SQUID AND EXPERIENCE PTSD FROM SEXUAL INTERCOURCE, THIS FANFICTION IS RIGHT FOR YOU

Emerald was contemplating suicide because his life sucked. He got up one morning to go to school. At school, he meets one of his friends (James) who gave him heroine to kill himself with.

That night, Emerald ejects himself with it to OD. He blacks out in the window sill and falls down. Thankful he was on the 12th floor in his father's apartment because Emeralds parents got divorced and his father is a drunk.

…

Chapter 2: Speech!

Emerald wakes up behind a chuck e cheese in an alley way. A girl walks by him because 12 year old girls walk in alleyways behind chuck e cheese (which by the way sells yummy pizza).

"Who are you," the girl said in a confused but also a sexual voice

"I'm me, Emerald" Emerald replied

"Why are you here" she asked

"I don't know, I blacked out and now I'm here"

"k"

The girl then unzipped Emerald's pants and sucks his cock

"Why did you do that?" Emerald asked

"I don't know, but you can come to my apartment and we can forge you an id and then make you fight in war and then have meaningless conversation that will not forward the plot in anyway"

"Okay"

"Mind if I call you Bolbi" the girl asked

"I don't mind"

The girl and Emerald walked to the girl's apartment. The girl jerked off Emerald the whole time but Emerald didn't notice because he had a psychological attack from overdosing with heroin.

Chapter 3: Goodbye (for now)

At the girl's apartment, the girl explained that her name was Jenny and that they were in Inkopolis.

"Why are you helping me," Emerald asked

"I don't know," Jenny replied

"I just think you're cute and have appealing characteristics that have not been stated yet and will never be," She said

Jenny helped get an illegal Splatooning license and a fully automatic military grade rifle for Emerald so he can fight in a blood turf war between octopus people.

In the lobby waiting for the turf war to start, Emerald jerked off to squid porn because he is a millennial and has no sense of dignity.

The turf war started

Emerald turned into a squid because Jenny taught him how to because that makes sense and because the author cannot think of a better reason.

Because Emerald has autism, he shot at walls.

His teammate shouted "walls don't count, normy!"

Emerald got to the Octopus's barracks and shot everyone with his high caliber rifle including the nurses (which is a war crime). Before he knew, he scored his first victory.

"I won!" Emerald said to Jenny covered in octopus blood

"Good, maybe you can get into a trickshoot clan, Bolbi"

"I hope"

Jenny gave Emerald her email address and followed him on ink-stgram then left