"This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening, THIS-IS-NOT-HAPPENING."
Ganondorf, Gerudo King of Thieves, self-proclaimed King of Evil, Lord of Darkness, realized then that mantras did little to dispel what was reality, particularly his rotten, idiotic, bad-luck filled reality.
He had been raised in the most powerful and savage tribe of all of Hyrule, mastered the mechanics behind the complex arts of magic, especially those of the Dark Arts, had taken over and plundered the land of plenty in little to no time, and had done various other evil and powerful things that he did not feel like remembering right now. He had everything at his disposal; wealth, power, women, knowledge...every damn thing that a powerful and intelligent tyrant needed.
In other words, he wondered who up in the skies hated him so much as to do something this fucking ridiculous to him...how he could so deeply desire and fall so easily to something so whimsically stupid despite the notorious and dark reputation he held.
Oh how he wanted to rip that idiotic, giggle-stiffling face right off that stupid, moronic kid who was supposedly the "hero" of twilight...why couldn't this battle just be fought like the regular epic tales he had read of in books of old without stupid, stupid, stupid distractions!
But that fishing rod was so shiny...and nice to look at...very very nice...
He knew he was certainly going to die now, and surprisingly, he wasn't quite bothered by that ominous thought. In fact, the horror of countless generations of people endlessly laughing at him was what really clouded his mind. He could already imagine the passages of the history books that would be printed soon after he departed this cruel world (which would be whenever that stupid Hylian hero decided that he had enough of rolling around on the ground like a perfect imbecile and laughing his brains out) that the Dark Lord's greatest weakness was not the legendary Master Sword, nor the mythical Light Arrows, or a regular weapon for that matter; rather it was a regular fishing rod.
He'd laugh too, he thought miserably, if he had not been the one currently stuck in this unbelievable predicament.
He supposed karma was getting him back for that little stint he had read about an ancient King of Evil whose "godly" magic was easily deflected by a regular glass bottle; now that had left him in stitches for days.
At least if that kid would stop laughing and grant him his death...but of course not. His luck was just too rotten to be granted that kind of mercy.
"I hate my life..."
Just a different perspective of the famous fishing rod stunt in Twilight Princess...just because I love tormenting our poor old Ganondorf.
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