A/N: This is something that just popped into my head, because I'm feeling depressed and angsty after that episode, even though it was necessary, I just hope everything works out. Anyway, this is not a happy piece, but it is Mer/Der by all means. So, read, review, enjoy. I am almost done with the next part of Happily Ever After, I'm just feeling dark and twisty, and having trouble with that one at the moment, but I will continue it soon. I hate writing two fics at once, but what are ya gonna do when inspiration hits? I do want to try to continue this, so please give me your feedback!!

"Derek…" Her voice was quiet and hesitant.

"Addison? What do you need? I just-"

"You need to come back to the hospital." Her voice was shaking, and laced with what he could only assume as shock.

"Is everything alright?" His tone was annoyed, etched with the barest hint of concern.

"It's Meredith."

With those two little words, Derek Shepherd tuned out everything else his wife said to him on the phone, only catching a word here or there. When you are married to someone for eleven years, you pick up on their moods, and by Addison's tone of voice, Derek knew Meredith was in trouble. He did not even stop to think why Addison would immediately call him, or to even listen to his wife's explanation. Derek's mind was focused on one thing and one thing alone: getting to Meredith. The fear of what could have happened assaulted his system so quickly, he felt as if he was being consumed by it. Along with the fear, there was a paralyzing wave of guilt in how things had ended between them. A million questions ran through his mind. Why was she back at Seattle Grace after seven months? What could have happened to her?

She was crying. Hot, angry tears were streaming down her cheeks, hanging onto the sharp curve of her chin like dewdrops to the grass at dawn. She did not wipe her tears away, she just stood there as though the tiniest movement would bring the world crashing down around her.

"You're staying with her."

"She's my wife."

He was informed of her transfer to Mercy West the next day

It felt like an eternity before he reached the parking lot of Seattle Grace Hospital. Pulling haphazardly into a spot, he yanked the keys out of the ignition and started toward the entrance, not concerned with whether he had left the car unlocked, or his headlights on. Nothing existed around him; he could not focus on anything but getting into that hospital to make sure Meredith was OK. Just the thought of her being so close sent a ripple of excitement through him. The last time he had seen Meredith Grey was the day he told her he was staying with Addison. The knowledge of the pain he had caused her was something he had been forced to live with for the past seven months. It wasn't easy working with her friends, either, who resented him for being the reason Meredith transferred hospitals. Even Richard had given him the cold shoulder, for he always looked at Meredith as a daughter to him. That was seven months ago, seven months since he had let Meredith Grey go, and he had regretted his decision every day since then.

He found Addison first. Her face was pale, a sickly white compared to her usual porcelain complexion. Her eyes were swollen and red; she looked exhausted. When she saw him approaching, he saw many emotions flash through her eyes: fear, pity, anger, and finally sadness. His throat constricted, as he thought for sure that he was too late. Something had happened to Meredith and he was too late. He would never get the chance to tell her that he made the wrong choice, that he loved her with everything that he was, and he had been a shell of himself since the day she left. He would never look into her eyes that seemed to change between a blue-green to a bright grey, but always carried that sparkle that made her so irresistible. He would never smell the lavender in her hair again, or hold her tiny frame in his arms, which seemed to fit so perfectly against his that it almost seemed impossible that two people could fit together like they did, as if they were made for each other. Tears blurred his vision, and he could feel the bile rising in his throat. He hadn't even realized that he was standing in front of Addison now, lost in his own world of grief and worry.

"Derek." Her voice was steadier now, almost too professional. "I…don't even know where to begin. You should sit down."

"No." He snapped, not caring about the harshness of his voice. "Just tell me. How is she? Is she alive?"

"She…she is alive, but that's not…" She paused, allowing him to collect himself. He let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding, squatting down to the ground and scrubbing his hands over his face. She was OK, she was alive, that was all that really mattered to him at the moment. "Derek. There's more. I really think we should go sit down for this."

"I want to see her."

"First, you need to hear this." Her voice was clipped, and losing its patient tone. She sounded hurt also, which he couldn't blame her for. Seeing his reaction to the possibility of losing a woman he hadn't seen in seven months isn't exactly something a wife wants to see. He simply nodded, knowing he wasn't going to win this fight. The sooner she said what she had to say, the sooner he could see Meredith.

"I was on call… and I got a page that they were air-lifting a patient from Mercy West to here that would need immediate emergency surgery. I…they arrived...and it was Meredith. At first I wondered why they paged me, until I saw her…" She took a deep, shuddering breath. "She was out cold…from the loss of blood. I…Derek, she was pregnant. Seven months to be exact. But there were complications. She had severe vaginal bleeding and…" Addison took a deep breath, forcing down her emotions. "The baby…the baby was stillborn. I..I did everything I could do. I'm so sorry Derek."

Derek just hung his head and sobbed.

A/N: I know, I know! Evil! But angsty/emotional Mer/Der reunion to come! Please review!