Kiss it with a (K)
His nose was bleeding and none of the reasons for it were satisfactory.
"How do I look?"
False. Gaudy. Plastic. Hot as hell.
Brains required blood, but his were dribbling out of his nasal cavities at such an alarming rate he was becoming lightheaded. At best he managed, "Are those implants?"
Tenten narrowed her eyes at him, disgust written all over her powdered face.
"No wonder people think you're gay." She spun on her heel to the vanity, scrutinizing her features again as she adjusted her top. Sneering over her shoulder she told him, "If you must know, chest bindings do wonders when it comes to concealing unwanted sacks of fat."
Inwardly Neji grimaced at what that meant his cousin wore. (She did say she wanted to attract Naruto's eye more.) The prodigy felt a shiver of cold fear dart down his spine, leaving him unprepared as a handkerchief covered in lipstick smooches collided with his face. Neji wonders if he just got his first "almost-kiss" until Tenten is glaring at him again.
"Clean up your nose, you raspberry-faced tart."
Kiss it with a (K)
The mission was stupid, but it was just the high-ranking mission the two could use after the lull in interesting assignments ever since Orochimaru's attack. Both of them were fifteen and the novelty of chunin was wearing off very quickly. Neji was already getting recommendations for jounin and a specialized A-rank would definitely seal the deal.
Now if only this mission wasn't located in the cesspools of the social world...
"Beauty pageant, who'dya thought." Tenten smacked her ruby lips, using a tissue to wipe the excess from her teeth. "Not Sakura, not Ino, not even Hinata or any of the various kunoichi no one seems to know the names of. They chose lil' ole Tenten like she's got some hidden beauty besides some big C's and even bigger hips."
For the umpteenth time Neji tried to keep his gaze above his teammate's neck.
"Then they stick me with Neji Hyuga because he's got longer hair. I thought chicks dig rugged man from the southern parts. Don't give me that look Neji, it was either you or Lee and you know Lee wouldn't even pass for my dog... though he does play a good fetch." The eyeliner now. Tenten applied it with deadly precision, her hand steady, using it in exactly the right areas to brighten up her eyes. Her make-up were just like her weapons, meticulous and deadly.
How could she make something as simple as eyeliner look alluring? Neji bit his tongue and tried to look affronted.
Ten minutes later he didn't have to fake his vehement disdain.
"Tenten you look like a prostitute in that dress."
She grinned, her smile bigger with the fake cherry blush enhancing her cheekbones and crimson lipstick accentuating her lips. "Thanks! I got it from one!" She sashayed around to get used to her new pair of black stilettos, making Neji blink rapidly and sniff the air, worrying that there was too much lavender perfume frying his frontal lobes.
"We better head off. A lady is never late." She winked at him like she knows the definition of the word lady and hooked her arm with his, dragging him through the doors of the vanity and with her to the hotel lobby where the other divas were waiting.
Kiss it with a (K)
He felt like a cheap hooker, every single woman bypassing them scanning their eyes over his body as if he were a pair of earrings. Neji straightened his cuffs, hoping Tenten felt as out-of-place as he did that moment. Though she was striding along the carpeted hallway, an aura of confidence exuded by her prize-winning smile, Tenten could easily be a bundle of frayed nerves on the inside. It was part of being a ninja, hiding your emotions for all circumstances, and from experience Neji knew Tenten was one of the best there was.
He surmised darkly maybe that was the reason Tenten was chosen for this mission.
The lobby of the hotel they were staying at was warm and well-lit, the perfect evening glow. It was the afternoon of the first day, the two having signed in just a few hours before, and already the area was filled with the contestants.
Neji noted how all of them were experts. Their keen vigilance of the competition followed by looks of experience caused him to be more aware about the kunoichi by his side. Their mission was to participate in this pageant, securing as much information they can soak out of the other candidates and judges on the social affairs of various high-ranking executives, and then assassinate a man known as Kazumi Toragawa for suspected drug trafficking. It was to be a tedious process involving the utmost of stealth. Failure would likely result in international trouble for their country, meaning, as Tenten put it before they left, "There isn't going to be any failure at all then."
With his resolve strengthened Neji grasped Tenten's hand to lead her over to the sign-up table.
She took his newfound determination with a cheeky smile, leaning towards him as they approached a balding, overweight man in a suit.
Nori Yatsumoto. The name flashed through Neji's mind as he perceived exactly what the man was thinking. His tiny eyes, mere pits surrounded by the vast flesh of his face, roamed over Tenten's body as if she were a steak. Nori was most likely picturing her naked, trapped beneath his gargantuan weight (probably suffocating Neji chuckled inwardly). An appreciative grin dimpled his meaty cheeks, glancing down to the clipboard before immediately going back to perusing the young woman and asking for her name.
This man was obscene.
He was perfect.
Tenten indulged his inner fantasies, letting go of Neji to subliminally put all of her attention onto Nori, even if she could castrate and behead this incredibly idiotic little man in less then ten seconds. She enraptured him just as quickly, her chocolate hair unbound so that it swept over one of her shoulders when she inclined her head. Her smokey auburn eyes, genjutsu-based contacts used to make them more enchanting than they already were, focused solely on Nori while she spoke her false name in a low undertone. It rolled off her lips, wisps of melted chocolate pouring from her mouth straight to Nori's ears- and subsequently, his groin.
"My name is Izanami Yin."
Kiss it with a (K)
"All of these men are cunts."
Neji sipped his iced tea, immensely glad that they were seated directly by the air conditioner in the hotel cafe. The room full of pageant girls had been nothing short of the inside of a bedazzled oven. He welcomed the chill.
In front of him sat Tenten with all of the grace of a lady, talking with all of the fury of a woman getting a rash from her corset.
"Explain," Neji implored softly, his own eyes settling upon the ripples in his beverage. To everyone else he was merely Izanami's distant cousin-in-law of some sort to keep her from getting into any trouble. See, Izanami had a habit of getting too comfy with people, judges in particular, so she needed someone that could keep her in line. Someone handsome, with a questionable sexuality, who may or may not enjoy being physically close to Izanami more than needed; at least that was what Neji drew from the description of his persona, Li Shenshun.
Really, just who came up with these names?
Tenten eased next to him, appearing as if she was gossiping with Li something juicy she found. In reality she was gritting her teeth and spewing the most profane swear words right into his ear canal.
"These fucking shoes are killing my feet. They're tearing my goddamn toes into bacon strips. Just who the fuck was vacant enough to think tying straps together connected to a platform was a good idea for women? Men, that's what. Cock-guzzling fuckholes good-for-nothing lechers! Did you see that taint-muzzle at the registration counter? Fatass wouldn't stop staring at my tits. Motherfucker. And thisdress, Neji. It's like I'm wearing nothing at all in this glittery tenga-top. I'm don't even have underwear under this, Sakura told me it would reveal panty lines. Which lubed asshole makes a dress so tight it shows panty lines? You don't even need Byakugan to see my nipples now. Goddammit, I am so hungry too, but I can't eat or else I might pop a button or, so fucking help me, look healthy. Did you see the other contestants? They'd disappear if they turned sideways. Fuck me until July, this mission sucks so many sweaty ballsacks right now."
Neji noted, rather dryly, that his birthday was in July.
"Have you tried the tea?"
Kiss it with a (K)
A/N: Got nothing wrong with beauty pageants so refrain from any pageant-bashing since the story is not focused on that. Just trying a different setting than high school and seduction missions but cliched enough to probably be both. I have literally no direction with where this is going but I hope it'll be sexy somewhat. P.S. I strive very hard to make Tenten's swearing as colorful as possible. I should get a reward for that.
fun notes: Yin Izanami and Li Shenshun are references from another anime. Li Shenshun is poor Chinese using the most common Chinese first name and the drunken mispronunciation of the word student in Chinese. So in truth Neji's alias is named Student Li.
Also, tenga. Look it up. edit: if you read this and you saw the name Hitomi it's really supposed to be Izanami. I changed the names last minute but probably forgot some. edit2: fuck I misused the word boudoir its supposed to be more like a vanity I'm changing every chapter now