Vaan and Penelo's Excellent Adventure
Another Wight Mamba/Vieraheart15 collaboration. And an FFTA/FFXII crossover. Vaan, Penelo, and Balthier go back in time and mess things up. Vaan is mistaken for Marche, Penelo forms a clan with a Viera (who happens to be an ancestor of Fran), and Balthier takes over the country. Extremely retarded and hilarious. We will alternate chapters, Wight Mamba up first. We rip on Ashe because we hate her. Seriously. Balfran and Vanelo forever!
Disclaimer: FFXII and FFTA are owned by Square Enix, not us!
In the world of Ivalice…
"Hey Balthier, can I touch the giant blue button with a label on it?" Vaan asked Balthier
"No it's an experimental device that needs to be tested by you and our stunt doubles when Fran and I are not around!" Balthier yelled at Vaan
"Sheesh! What a jerk…Hey why don't I get a stunt double!!!" Shrieked Vaan
"Budget cuts…and the fact that I am the leading man and what I say goes, and here they are!" Balthier exclaimed while pulling string. Then four rabbits each dressed up sort of like one of the characters other than Balthier fall down.
"That's odd usually mine falls first." Said Balthier
Then a fat guy falls out of nowhere.
"RABBITS! Why are we rabbits?" Penelo yelled.
"It was Fran's idea." Balthier says as Fran is gathering them and reciting names.
"How does she tell them apart when they're not in costume?"
"It's a rabbit thing. She's a rabbit too. She loves them. She sees them as her babies."
"They all look like furry white bunnies to me, except for that one with only one ear. He looks like a furry white bunny with one ear."
"This one is Penelo, this one is Basch, this one is me, Little Franny, and Bongo over there is Ashe!" Fran said happily while collecting the bunnies.
"We got the one-eared one on discount…" Balthier remarked, referring to the one-eared rabbit.
"Hey why does Mary Bitch-mas get one and I don't?" asked Vaan
"What did you just say Vaan?!" Yelled Ashe
"I said you're a bitch, Queen Look-at-me-I'm-so-whiny-and-stupid-and…" As Vaan is saying this he is interrupted. Ashe cracks a wooden 2 by 4 over Vaan's head.
"Where did you get that?!" Vaan shrieked.
"I got it off the Strahl!" Said Ashe.
"WTF!?" Vaan yelled.
"How do think we get it the air?"
"Mexicans!"
The Moogles walk out. "We're not working today. Not on Cinco de Kupo!" Nono said, wearing a sombrero.
"Then why is that comedian there?" Asked Vaan.
"I don't know what you're talking about you Dee Dee Dee!" Said Mexican Comedian X
"It's pronounced Vaan, Raul."
"Who are you calling a freaking Raul?"
"Luis, Antonio, or is it Miguel?"
"You are watching way too many soap operas!" Yelled Ashe.
"Hey that's my…I mean Fran's favorite soap!" Said Balthier with shifty eyes.
"How bout…Marco?"
"No, let's leave it at Carlos"
"Okay, see ya Manuel!"
A few minutes later…
"Hey Penelo can you open this jar?" Asked Vaan holding a jar full of bees which Penelo doesn't know about.
"Sure, okay." Said Penelo.
Vaan braced to laugh hysterically as Penelo opened the jar but no bees came out .
"Huh?!"
"What the heck? Dead bees?" Asked Penelo.
"What dead bees?" Asked Vaan.
"These bees!" Penelo says as she pours out the bees in the jar.
"What's with the bees Penelo, why are they dead?"
"YOU TELL ME!!!"
"Cool bees Penelo!"