A Moment of weakness
A year now I have been working for Griffith, we've taken jobs from odd people but this lord was the oddest. He seemed to have a taste for young men, I didn't like the way he looked at Griffith. The lords eyes passed over me and I felt all the blood drain from my face. I couldn't bear to look at the disgusting man anymore.
"your serving girl she quite bashful Griffith." said the lord.
"pardon her lack of manners my lord, not all of my band is as charming as I." He responded coldly Looking me directly in the eyes. "Casca , Kai , You're dismissed."
"y-yes Griffith." I responded. And hurried out of the embarrassed, I had just upset One of our clients and who knows how this would affect the job. I buried my face in my hands.
"pull yourself together Kai, you're an embarrassment to all of us" spat Casca. I looked up at her, I couldn't speak there was a tightness in my chest. I stood up as walked away from Casca.
Later that evening I was assigned to stand guard in the lords garden with Casca of all people. while on my rounds I looked up and saw griffith with out his shirt on, I noticed how nice his frame was he was slighly taller than an average man but his frame was athelic build , I traced his body lines up to his angelic face. For a moment I wanted to join him on that balcony. I shook my head to clear my mind of these thoughts he was my leader, my friend , a mentor ,I shouldn't have these feelings should I ? I could feel my cheeks start to burn. My heart was beating loudly, I've always adored Griffith in many ways. I open my mouth to shout up to him when I noticed the Lord of the castle join Griffith. My cheeks burned even more, I felt anger and jealousy boil up inside me.
"was that- was that Griffith ?" gasped casca behind me.
"mind you own affairs Casca. They are entitled to some privacy," I snapped. I didn't understand why I felt hurt. When I got several paces away from Casca, I ran with tears in my eyes.
The next couple of days after we had left the lords castle griffith tried to find a moment to talk with me, but I kept myself busy . I couldn't face him I felt ashamed about how I felt. I didn't know what to say, how to explain how I ached to be by his side as more than just a pupil or a soldier. I knew I had to talk to him sooner or later. I looked up from securing my tent to see griffith sitting off by himself. I felt a pang in my chest, my cheeks started burning . I wasn't going to run off and cry this time , I was going to give him a piece of my mind.
I stormed over to the edge of the camp right up to Griffith. I took a deep breath to try and keep my voice level.
" you wanted to talk." I said coldly. Griffith turned to look me in the eye, but it wasn't the same man she knew. He looked broken , lost . I lost all the hurt that was building up to be released , I couldn't bring myself to be anything but concerned.
" I saw you in the gardens." He said softly. Those words hit me like ice cold water, did he know how I felt? " I know you saw me with that lord..." his voice seemed shaky. With out thinking I rested my hand softly on his cheek.
"please don't , you don't need to explain." I murmured tenderly.
"we – I can't let thing go unspoken." he said on the verge of tears.
" You're always so strong . You don't need to be not right now, not with me." I said pulling him into a hug. He meet my embrace grabbing around my waist. We sat there me holding him like a mother holds a crying child.
" I – I can still see his face." he wept. " I can still see that boy's face." I immediately understood everything that happened in the last few weeks. Griffith did what he had to.
" Let me be strong for you." I said chocking back tears.
Griffith pulled away from the embrace, he looked at me in the eyes and rest his hand on my cheek. " Why do you have to me so pure and noble" he said pulling into a kiss. My heart skipped a beat , I started to return his kiss. I thought about melting into his embrace. When I pulled away.
"we can't do this, Griffith." I said ready to start weeping. " This life we live . Your dream, I can't be apart of it. After the war I want to settle down, and have a family. You want to be a ruler. I can't do anything to help that except lend my sword for that cause."
I stood up to walk away, my heart screaming in pain. I felt griffith grab my wrist. I turn to meet his eyes.
"then let this moment of weakness be for a moment longer" he said before standing up and pulling me back into a passionate kiss. I felt the world and time stop around me in those moments . I knew the that I was hopelessly and completely in love him. I think back now on those moments life was simpler then. That moment of weakness is now mine and mine alone.