Chapter 1: The one with the intro
Once upon a time, a very drunk God decided that he would bake a pie. So he baked a Castiel. And he saw that it was good. But then Castiel decided that he liked bestiality, so he left heaven to have sex with Canadians and moose. That's how he met Sam.
This angered Gpd so much, that he decided to kill all humans, and so he flooded the world and everyone almost drowned. Everyone except Castiel and Sam who drifted around on a raft and had lots of gay moose-sex and butt-loving adventures. One day they sailed into another raft, which had the most adorable princess-looking little-wittle boyguy on. They called him Dean, and then they had a threesome with him. They came in his green eyes, and then they realized that if they showed God Dean-darling, perhaps he would unflood and unkill everyone.
They travelled to Australia on their raft, and they met a dragon. Dean's green eyes killed the dragon, and then they had sex with the dragon, and then they had sex with each other. Then God got angry and decided to kill them, but when he saw the beautiful green eyes of Dean, he changed his mind and decided to let them live. But suddenly Sam got moose-AIDS and died and Castiel was very sad. But then Dean made a pie and Castiel and Dean lived together forever more.