This is my newest fic! I know, it's a story from me that's not a Clark/Oliver. But I hope you like it anyway:)

Story: What I Meant to Say
Pairing/Characters: Chlark, Lollie mentions of past Chlimmy & Clana
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: don't own anything
Warnings: none
Spoilers: season 7
Summary: Chloe's near death causes Clark to re-evaluate his feelings for his best friend. And he comes to some stunning conclusions.

Chapter 1

"So this is where you live," Kara commented as they arrived at the farm. "Not what I imagined. Then again, you aren't what I imagined either."

"Why do you say that?" Clark asked his newfound cousin. He still couldn't believe that he had a biological relative and a part of him was a little giddy, even though he didn't show it.

He was surprised to say that least when, during his journey to defeat the Phantom, he discovered he had family. Kara Zor-El had appeared out of nowhere and saved him from a sticky situation with the Phantom. Clark had insisted that J'onn leave the planet to heal and assured him that he could avoid the Phantom until then.

Unfortunately, Bizarro, as he aptly named his doppelganger, found him first. There was a very violent confrontation and just when he thought it was over for him, Kara had showed up and saved him.

Clark tried his best to hold on, even though he knew was fighting a losing battle. His look-a-like was a lot more powerful than him and he was still yet to discover a weakness. Part of him wished he hadn't told J'onn to leave but then again, the Martian was already injured. The last thing he wanted was for something to happen to him but right now, he could use some backup.

"Give up," his twin sneered. "You can't defeat me."

Suddenly, Bizarro was thrown on the ground.

"Maybe he can't," a voice came from his right, "But I can." He looked to his side and saw a beautiful blonde woman with bright blue eyes staring angrily at his twin.

In a flash, the woman was by his side. "Come on, let's get out of here."

He didn't argue. Bizarro was down for the moment and he followed the woman out. When they were a safe distance away, he examined her. Who was she? How was she so strong and why did she choose to save him?

"Who are you?" he asked.

"That is none of your concern," she replied.

But Clark wasn't backing down. "Why did you save me?"

"Would you have rather died?" she questioned.

"No, but I want to know why you protected me," Clark said. "Or do you go around randomly saving strangers?"

"How about you explain to me why you were fighting a man who looks exactly like you?" she shot back, leaving his question unanswered.

"He looks like me because he is a Phantom who tried to possess me but ended up taking a part of me instead," Clark revealed. He didn't know why he decided to tell her this but something in him told him she was trustworthy.

The woman froze at his words. "Phantom?" she repeated in a soft voice.

"An alien," he said, "Not only just an alien, but a criminal, who escaped . .."

"From the Phantom Zone," she finished, a dazed look on her face. "I heard about that . . . that the criminals escaped."

"I'm afraid that was my fault," Clark confessed.

"But how?" she demanded, "Jor-El made it so that it was impossible to escape!"

Clark's eyes narrowed. "How do you know Jor-El?"

"You know Jor-El?" the woman asked, also looking suspicious.

Now he was certain this woman was not human. She was probably Kryptonian as well, he realized with a start.

"He's my father," Clark said slowly, "Or at least he was. He sent me to this planet when Krypton was destroyed."

The woman let out a gasp and she came closer to him. "Kal-El?"

"Yeah," Clark said cautiously, "Now who are you?"

"I can't believe it's you!" she exclaimed, "I've looked for you for so long." She smiled warmly. "My name is Kara Zor-El . . . Jor-El was my father's brother. And you are my cousin."

At first, Clark had been skeptical of what she was saying. After all, it was only a few years ago that some woman had claimed to be Kara but it turned out that she was just a pawn for Jor-El, who was trying to lure him into his training. So it was natural that he had his doubts.

But he had brought her to the Fortress and Jor-El confirmed who she was. When she spoke to him in fluent Kryptonian, all doubts he had were instantly removed. J'onn returned shortly after and he too verified her identity.

The three of them, along with Jor-El's help, found out that Bizarro did have a weakness- blue kryptonite. Just as green kryptonite strengthened the Phantom, blue was good for both him and Kara. Never did he think he would find a good type of kryptonite but it seemed that one did indeed exist. At least not all the shards of his home planet were bad for him.

Together they set up a trap for Bizarro and as expected, he fell for their plot. They managed to get him a position where Clark could use the blue kryptonite. It worked and he was gone.

J'onn had left and Clark had brought Kara back to the farm. Which brought them to their current situation. After Bizarro had followed Clark from the Reeves Dam, he had returned to see Lionel being put on a stretcher. The hospital didn't let him know anything because he wasn't family but by listening in one a few conversations, he learned Lionel would be okay.

He also found out that Lex had been arrested for Lana's murder. Good, he had thought, he's behind bars, where he belongs. How long he would stay there, he wasn't sure but this was something.

"Kal-El?" Kara's voice brought him back to reality. He glanced at her. "Are you listening to me?"

"No," he admitted, "Sorry . . . I got a little lost in my thoughts. What were you saying?"

She laughed. "It's fine. I was answering your question."

"Go ahead," he said, "if you don't mind repeating what you said?"

"Not a problem," she replied, "It's just . . . I was in stasis, as you know." He did know; she had informed him. That was why she hadn't aged for 20 years. "I didn't realize that you had made it to Earth so I was expecting a small baby."

"Really?" Clark asked.

"I checked the hospitals first," Kara said.

"But how did you find me?" Clark asked. "To save me from the Phantom, I mean?"

"Honestly, I don't know," Kara said, "I just went there on instinct."

"Well it all worked out in the end then," Clark said.

"How are your parents?" Kara asked suddenly, "Jor-El told me a little about the family he planned to send you to."

"They treated me well," Clark said, with a smile. "My father has been dead for almost two years now and my mom just moved to Washington D.C. but they were great. I had a really good childhood."

"I'm glad," Kara said. "Do many people know you as Kal-El? And about your abilities?" Kara already found out about her powers, fueled by the yellow sun. In fact, she had taken to her powers quickly and even learned to fly.

Clark preferred the ground but she was stubborn in him mastering the sky. When he realized she wasn't going to quit, he allowed her to teach him to fly. Once he was in the air, he found it was a great feeling. All his previous fears vanished and now, flying came as easily as his superspeed or any of his other abilities.

Remembering she asked him a question, he shook his head. "Nobody knows. Other than my parents that is. And a few choice people. But the majority doesn't know. To everyone else, my name is Clark Kent and you have to call me Clark when we're around other people."

"Why all the secrecy?" Kara wanted to know.

"Humans won't exactly be receptive to our origins," Clark said, choosing his words carefully. "They'll want to experiment on us and learn about our abilities in a way that will not be pleasant to us. It is imperative that they don't find out. So please, be careful."

"I will," she promised.

"You can stay with me on the farm," Clark decided aloud. "You can keep your name but we'll say that you're a Kent . . . from my father's side of the family. We can deal with paperwork and everything later." He made a mental note to call Oliver and ask for a favor. The blonde, he knew, would be more than willing to help.

"Sounds good to me," Kara responded cheerfully. She was about to say more when they heard a car pull up. Clark was surprised to see Lois step out of the vehicle. He was even more surprised to see the state she was in.

Clearly she had been crying, her eyes were red and her cheeks were flushed.

"Lois," he said, stepping towards her. "Are you okay?"

"I've been trying to call you, Clark," she said.

Something was wrong. Not only did Lois look like a mess, she was calling him Clark. She never called him Clark. It was always "Smallville this" and "Smallville that".

"I don't know, I think I lost my phone," Clark said. "What's up?"

Tears filled her eyes again and she threw herself in his arms. Also a move very unlike Lois.

"Lois, tell me what's wrong," Clark demanded, now afraid. "Where's Chloe?"

She pulled away slightly. "Oh Clark . . . it's about Chloe."

"Is she okay?" he asked, dread filling her stomach. Seeing Lois's expression, his heart stopped. "Lois . . . please."

"She's dead," Lois said, her voice barely a whisper.

"No." It wasn't possible. There was no way Chloe could be dead.

"It's true," Lois said, tears streaming down her face. "Clark . . . she's gone."

"She can't be gone," Clark said. The pain he was feeling was overwhelming." One look into Lois's eyes and he knew she wasn't lying. "How?"

"I am not sure," Lois said. "I went to see what Lex was up to and I ended up at the Reeves Dam. Unfortunately, I ran into a security guard and I ended up getting stabbed."

"If you got stabbed, how are you still here?" Clark interrupted. He was relieved that Lois was alive but he needed to know how.

"I am not sure!" Lois said, her eyes wild, "I passed out and I woke up, and there was no sign of the wound. And Chloe . . ."

"What about Chloe?" Clark interjected, "Lois, what happened to her?"

"She was just lying there," Lois recalled. "I called 911 but it was too late. I don't even know how she found me . . ." Lois may be confused but Clark's throat tightened . . . he knew exactly what had happened.

There's a reason they took me," Chloe said worriedly. "And we both know it's not because I was a witness. Tobias didn't identify you, Clark, because you're not a meteor freak. It was me."

It made sense but Clark didn't want to admit it. Not Chloe, not his best friend. So many people's lives had been ruined because of his arrival on Earth but he wouldn't be able to take it if Chloe had been one of them.

"Chloe, it must have been a mistake," Clark argued.

"How do you know that?" Chloe demanded. "I mean, I've been exposed to more Kryptonite than practically anyone else in this town. It's not that much of a stretch to think that I could have been infected somewhere along the way."

"But you don't have any powers," Clark pointed out. He paused and looked at her closely. "Do you?" She would've told him if she developed any abilities, right?

"No," Chloe admitted but she continued quickly, "But that doesn't rule me out. There's a percentage of the Wall of Weird that were latent for years. They didn't exhibit any of their powers until long after their exposure."

Seeing she wasn't giving this idea up, he sighed. "Okay. All right, let's say it's true. But who's to say you're ever going to develop any powers at all?"

"All I know is that every single meteor freak I've ever run into has ended up either dead or in Belle Reve," Chloe said. "Face it, Clark. I'm a walking time bomb." He saw the panic on her face right after she made the statement.

Clark put his hand on her arm. "Then consider me your own personal bomb squad."

Oh, Chloe, you were right. Clark had been so in denial and it turned out his best friend's worst fears had come true. Chloe had powers and it apparently was some healing ability. She had saved Lois . . . and given up her life in the process.

He observed the frantic brunette in front of him. Clark wished he could blame her, stir up some resentment at least. If Lois hadn't gone looking for trouble, then Chloe wouldn't have gone after her. She'd be here, giving him that cute little smile that made him feel like the most important person in the world.

Chloe had always thought of him as her hero . . . but where was he when she needed saving? Truth was he couldn't be mad at Lois. Not when she was just as miserable or even more so, than him. Chloe had been her only true family and now she was gone.

The real person he was furious with was himself. He had promised Chloe he'd be there and when she needed him the most, he was somewhere else. Tears prickled at the back of his eyes but he blinked them away.

Lois was saying something but he couldn't bring himself to pay attention. His heart was shattering and it was taking all of his willpower not to break down. Dear God, why? Why did you have to take her? Why my Chloe? Didn't anyone realize that he couldn't live without her? She was dead and all he wanted to do was follow her. Life without Chloe was not one worth living.

Lionel had told him that Lana was dead and he thought he was hurting then. The pain and anguish he felt then was nothing compared to what he was feeling now. Something inside of him died when Lois said those fateful words.

He loved her. Why didn't he see it before? So much time he had wasted pining over Lana that he didn't realize his true soul mate was by his side the entire time.

Um . . .," Clark stuttered. "Chloe . . . before I left . . . there was this moment that we, um . . ." What was wrong with him? He just defeated a super powered alien bent upon destroying the world and he couldn't even bring up the kiss that he and Chloe had shared before he ran off.

Fortunately, Chloe was much more upfront about these kinds of things.

"You mean when I laid one on you?" Chloe finished, with a smile. "Don't worry, Clark. It was the end of the world. It's not like I'm expecting us to hook up."

Disappointment filled his entire being. But he gave her a smile, hiding his true feelings.

"Um . . . yeah, me . . . me neither," he agreed.

That was when Jimmy had showed up.

Clark inwardly cringed at the memory. Why hadn't he spoken from his heart? Why couldn't have he just said that the memory of her kiss had kept him going? That coming back to her gave him motivation to fight?

No, he had to be a coward and just go with her answer. Too afraid of losing her friendship, too afraid of breaking her heart again. Yet, at the same time, so jealous of Jimmy, even without knowing where their relationship stood at that point.

Why was he so stupid? How many times had he hurt her? She was the one who loved him unconditionally, been there every step, through all the bad times and the good. It was her who had protected his secret for the past 2 years and every time he had a problem, it was her who held his hand, who helped him defeated that Zoner or the latest meteor freak.

But it was him who rejected her on every turn, who accused her on several occasions of betraying him. It was him who had turned away from her in favor of Lana throughout most of their friendship and he was the one that broke her heart. Memories flashed in front of him of all the times he had hurt her, both intentionally and unintentionally.

He had never approved of Jimmy and now he was finally able to accept the real reason why Chloe's boyfriend had always gotten on his nerves. Jimmy worshipped her, adored her and loved her the way she deserved to be treated . . . the way Clark never did. That was why Jimmy had been so weary of him; he understood the feelings that Clark himself had not accepted.

Now he had lost the one thing he never knew he wanted.