Up Against the Wall

By: Rhuben

Summary-"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." On Logan Mitchell's 18th birthday he gets the wish he's always wanted to come true: his father gets released from jail. What he didn't wish for was to find out that his best friend's past coincides with why his dad was put there in the first place. With his back up against the wall, Logan has to deal with secrets that will shake his foundation to the core.

Fic Dedicated To: Rage-Against-Time

Alternate Title: Lifeline

Rated: T for language and violence

~01~

"Age is just a number, just like a jail sentence is just a date" - Unkown

September 13th, 2012

North Richland Hills, Texas

The heavy wooden doors slammed shut behind him as he slowly made his way down the long aisle, his gaze on the empty judge's chair at the end. With every step, the chains of the ankle and handcuffs rattled. Each step was one step closer to freedom. Today was the day. He was finally going to get out…and get out of the ugly orange jumpsuit.

"All rise," a voice called, "Judge Parsons presiding." Creaking and groaning and the shifting of people filled the room as a back door opened and a man in a billowing black robe strode into the room.

The people in the courtroom waited, eyeing each other, shifting uncomfortably. There was the sound of someone clearing their throat and his gaze flickered over to the jury. He tried to read them, but their faces were stony. They definitely weren't going to give anything away.

"Please step forward," the judge's voice boomed through the courtroom, immediately snapping his attention. The tight grip on his arm got even tighter as he was hauled through the swinging door and over to the podium in the middle of the room. He sighed, rubbing his wrists as the handcuffs were removed from his hands. "Please state your name."

"Ch—" he cleared his throat, swallowing thickly, "Charlie Mitchell."

"Charlie Mitchell," the Judge Parsons repeated, flipping through the sheets of paper that was sitting in front of him. He looked around at everyone else in the courtroom. "You may sit."

As the patrons in the room slowly sat down, settling quietly, Judge Parsons scribbled on a form. He took the time to look around the room; the same room he had seen countless times since arriving in the first place. Through many court dates, hoping for parole, appeals, he never thought good things would come whenever he set foot in this place.

Now that the time has come, he couldn't really believe it was happening. He had always dreamed of returning to his life outside of this gray life that was now his, to be able to feel the sun on his face without worrying that the minute he turned his back, someone would stab it. At the same time, he was scared about leaving. He had branded himself, and his family for life.

His family.

He didn't know how they'd react. He hadn't seen them for 13 years and as each day passed, as he ticked off each day on his cell wall, it was another day filled with guilt and regret. Another day where he didn't get to see his wife's beautiful face or see his son grow up. He couldn't do father-son things like throwing around the football, or playing baseball, or fishing. Things he'd never get back. He swallowed thickly, sniffing, as he felt tears well up in his eyes. Tears of sadness and tears of joy.

"Do you need a moment?" Judge Parsons asked, quietly.

He used his shirt sleeve to wipe at his eyes. "N-no, sir," he replied in a thick voice, "thank you, sir." Judge Parsons gave a nod.

"Charlie Mitchell, you were put in the North Richland Hills Detention Facility for trafficking drugs with a sentence of 13 years," Judge Parsons said, swiping a finger through his graying mustache.

"That is correct, sir," he replied with a nod.

"As previously stated in your initial court hearing, you have had a previous discrepancy with the law, making your sentence 20 years," Judge Parsons said as he placed a pair of glasses onto his nose, holding up a sheet of paper. "Are you still currently living in North Richland Hills?"

"Yes, sir."

"Are you planning on staying in North Richland Hills?"

"Uh…" he trailed off. He hoped to be reunited with his family, but he didn't know if they were still around. Nor did he know if they even wanted him back. "That's…up in the air, sir."

"Well, regardless, today is your lucky day, Mr. Mitchell," Judge Parsons replied, setting down the paper. He folded his hands on the table in front of him. "You have served out 13 years of your 20 year sentence, and with good behavior, you are eligible to leave with parole. We require that wherever you end up, you provide proof of residence, if you are to find employment that you provide proof of employment as well as meet regularly with a parole officer, as well as submit to drug and alcohol tests. Do you agree to these terms?"

"Yes, sir, I do," he replied with a nod.

"Well, Mr. Mitchell, you're free to go, I hope I never see you again," Judge Parsons said with a gentle smile before picking up his gavel, slamming it down onto the block of wood on his desk. "Congratulations. We expect you to find a place of residence as soon as possible."

"Yes, sir, I understand." He cracked a grin. "Thank you, sir, I hope to never see you again, either," he replied. He then turned on his heels and made his way out of the courtroom for the final time.

Los Angeles, California

"Hey, so we haven't really finalized what we're going to do for—"

"Shhh, Logan can probably hear you. We don't want to ruin his birthday—"

"Who's talking about birthdays? I'm just saying, I wanted to go get nachos."

"After all that time getting you to eat healthy and working out to try and look as good as me, you want to shove nachos down your throat?"

"Boys, stop yelling at each other, you're sitting right next to each other."

Logan Mitchell snorted as he listened to his friends and his guardian out in the living room of apartment 2J in the Palm Woods. He set his computer aside and got up off of his bed, making his way to the door of his room. Crashes, bangs, screams, and sounds of explosions immediately hit his ears and he craned his neck to see a game of Halo up on the tv screen.

"Logaine," Kendall Knight called, pausing the game as he moved his green eyes over to Logan. "Come play a game." He wiggled his Xbox controller in the air. "We could use your Big Time Brain to think of a strategy to beat Katie."

"Even with my help there's a 95% chance that Katie would beat us bad," Logan pointed out and Katie Knight, Kendall's little sister, smirked, reaching for her cup of soda that sat on the round table in front of her. He rolled his eyes. "And that's because Carlos would blurt out the plan in his frustrations."

Carlos Garcia slapped his hockey helmet twice, a pleased smile on his face, showing that it was true. "Thanks for the pep talk," Carlos said with a smile.

Logan raked his fingers through his hair. "Anyway, could you guys keep it down, I'm trying to finish our—" Logan trailed off, glaring at each of his friends who whistled innocently, "homework."

"Boys, how many times do I have to tell you that you have to do your own homework?" Kendall's mom called from the kitchen where she was sitting at the table, reading a book and sipping from a mug of steaming coffee. "You're not going to learn anything if you have Logan do it all the time."

"Mom, he meant that he was…looking over our homework," Kendall said giving his mom a sweet smile. "Right, Logan?"

"Of course," Logan replied with a nod, smiling over at Mrs. Knight who shook her head, knowingly.

"Dude, it's your birthday tomorrow, why are you still doing homework?" James Diamond asked getting Logan's attention, wrinkling his nose. "You should be spending the time looking as good as possible." He smirked. "Although, if you wanted to look as good as me you would've had to have started yesterday, but still. I mean, you are turning 18."

Logan rolled his eyes. Leave it to James to only think of himself despite it being someone else's big day. "Thanks James, I never would've known that," Logan said sarcastically and James just shrugged, giving Logan a look that said, 'Don't-Say-I-Didn't-Warn-You'. "By the way, please don't wake me up with 18 pinches, or 18 tackles, or anything else that would do me bodily harm."

"Well, that rules out plans A through F," Kendall said with a smirk, quirking an eyebrow before holding his hand out to Katie. Katie grinned, slapping his palm with her hand.

On Logan's 16th birthday, he had gotten their traditional birthday wake-up call; 16 snowballs, or in this case snow cones, thrown at him the minute he stepped out of his bedroom. He never would've thought that he would be celebrating his birthday in Los Angeles, California. In their home town of St. Paul, Minnesota, 16 snowballs would be pelted at you the second you stepped out of your front door. At night, they'd hike through the woods to their camping spot and camp out.

That's not to say his 16th birthday wasn't enjoyable. He had a party on the beach with his friends. It was a full day of building sand castles, beach volleyball, trying to learn how to surf, and ending the night with a beach bonfire and he and his friends keeping with their tradition of camping out. He had never camped out on a beach before, and it was cool to sleep to the waves crashing on the beach. He had known about high tide, but they all experienced it the hard way. But, he had a lot of fun and it lessened his feeling of homesickness. But, what stood out the most was that his parents weren't there. He was able to call his mom that night, which helped a little bit, but he would've loved to have her there.

For his 17th birthday, he had finished his first tour as Big Time Rush, a month earlier. He would still be riding that buzz if he hadn't broken up with his girlfriend at the time, Camille Roberts; resident method actress at the Palm Woods, where he lived. That put a damper on a lot of things, especially because they broke up because she had kissed James. He almost went as far as punching James but he forgave his friend as it was really only the first time James had done something to hurt him; intentional or unintentional.

He was able to put all that aside to have a good day hanging out with his friends. It was a little awkward to be around Camille, but he still cared for her and wanted to be around her. That year they all spent the day at the Santa Monica Pier riding rides and eating a lot of junk food. He did have a great time, but that was where they had shot the music video for their song Boyfriend, and where, even after he and Camille broke up, they had kissed on the Tunnel of Just Friends, as part of the video. That's not to say that much like all of her kisses; it didn't take his breath away. She was one hell of a kisser.

Now he was turning 18 and he didn't know what to expect. James was right, it was a big deal. With so many things already happening to him, he couldn't even begin to guess what his friends had planned for his birthday this year. But, 18 was a big deal to teenagers everywhere. You were considered an adult, taken more seriously, and given more responsibilities.

And in his case, it also meant starting work on their third album for Big Time Rush. He, much like Kendall, James, and Carlos, wanted this album to be perfect so they were going to take their sweet time with writing and recording, wanting to draw from every aspect of life for inspiration to make the best album they could. And it wouldn't be all that hard to find inspiration as a lot has happened over the three years he had been in California. Shortly after arriving to Los Angeles and starting the process of creating their first album, B.T.R, their music producer, Gustavo Rocue had hired the famous Australian band, the DarkElements, to help him and his fiends make into music industry.

The DarkElements were made up of a group of siblings; twin sisters, Riley and Rhuben Jackson were the oldest at the time at 15 (turning 16 two days after Logan), twin brothers Patrick and Noah who were 14, and the youngest brother, Sydney, who was nine. Logan didn't recognize them at first, but he had known them since he was eight years old as they had lived down the street from him when he was still living in Texas. When he was nine, they moved to California and he moved to Minnestota, where he met Kendall, James, and Carlos. Ever since Gustavo hired his old friends, the two bands have been working together ever since, growing to become best friends with each other and in Logan's case, rekindling old friendships.

But, that wasn't as easy as Logan instantly knew that something was wrong with his friends. They had changed, like time usually helps aid, but they didn't seem anything like the friends he knew when he was a kid. They were standoff-ish, they flinched whenever a hand was raised for a high five, they had excuses for everything, they hated going home, they had unexplained injuries and on and on and on. It didn't take him long, with his Big Time Brain, to figure out that they were being abused.

And that was the start of their eventful lives in California. Through trials, rehearsals, studio work, performances, adoptions, relationship drama, and having to deal with being in the public eye, the life of a celebrity never had a dull moment. But, being with his friends, he wouldn't go back to what he was doing before.

He wasn't the best singer and definitely wasn't the best dancer, but he could use his talents of beat boxing and back flips into certain songs and performances, adding a little spice to their music and the longer he stayed in California, the more he felt like he fit in and he belonged there. And he knew he wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for the friends and family he had made while he was there.

He couldn't thank Kendall's mom, who he affectionately called Mama Knight, enough for taking care of him while he was out in California, but he did wish he could see his mom more often. The one time she came to California was such a surprise, it made her leaving again that much harder for him; but he knew that she was proud of him.

"Just keep it down, ok?" he asked before making his way back into his room. There was a loud explosion from the TV, causing him to jump. He could hear his friends laughing at his retreating form. "I really have to get new friends."

Sometimes he wondered how he was friends with Kendall, James, and Carlos, but they had always been there for him. Kendall was their undecided leader, and captain of their ice hockey team so they always followed him. He was always down to Earth and loyal, true qualities for a leader. James was really self-absorbed, and it was his dream to be a pop star, but he opened his dream to welcome his friends in and he used his self-awareness (which was mainly a fault from his parents) to help everyone else in the group look good and feel good about themselves. Carlos was kept around because he always brought a good time and a sense of humor to the group. Yes, a lot of the times he did something stupid, but it was always something stupidly fun. And Logan rounded out the group by being the responsible one, telling them what consequences they could possibly face despite going along with it anyway. They all just clicked.

Logan flopped down onto his bed, letting out a sigh through his nose before pulling his computer to him. He was always made fun of for putting his homework before anything else, but having to do four sets of homework, and studying to become a doctor whenever he found free time, it was best to get his work done ahead of time before having fun. It was also the same with his music; it was in his contract that if he or the other boys didn't keep their grades up, they couldn't perform.

Logan glanced over at his phone suddenly rang. He instantly reached for it, an expecting smile coming to his face. His mom always wanted to be the first to wish him a happy birthday and called as close to midnight for him on the West Coast as she could to do so. He peered at the caller ID, frowning when he didn't recognize the number that was calling him. He set his computer aside before reaching for his phone, settling back against his pillows, jabbing his thumb into the answer key, putting it up to his ear.

"Hello," he said into the phone. There was another surge of laughter and loud explosions from the TV and he got up from his bed a second time. "Hold on a second." He pressed his phone to his chest and hurried to the door to close it. "Sorry, I'm back. How can I help you?"

He fell back onto his bed, laying back against his pillows. "Hello. Is this Mr. Logan Mitchell?"

Logan pulled the phone away from his ear, peering at the caller ID for another moment. He recognized the area code for Texas, but there wasn't a name for it. He didn't recognize the voice either, but somehow they had found his phone number.

"Um, yes, yes it is," Logan replied as he put his phone back to his ear.

"Hi," the man on the other end said, sounding chipper now that they knew that they had found the right person. "I'm calling from the North Richland Hills Joint Detention Facility."

Logan sat up, his eyebrows knitting together. North Richland Hills? Logan thought, feeling his heart beat speed up. He hadn't heard any mention of his hometown in Texas ever since he had moved away. Oh, God.

"Yeah?" he asked. He made a face when he heard his voice crack. He cleared his throat before trying again. "I mean…yes?"

"Sorry if this is a bad time, Mr. Mitchell, but my name is Louis Sullivan," the man on the other end of the phone replied. "I've been trying to reach you all day, but I couldn't get a hold of you." Logan silently nodded before quickly making a noise with the back of his throat. "I'm calling about Charlie Mitchell. He is of relation to you, is that correct?"

Logan closed his eyes, feeling his heart drop. "Yeah, he's…he's my dad," Logan replied. He slowly breathed in and out of his nose. "Is…is everything ok?" Logan didn't get an answer right away, but got an earful of shuffling papers. What is this about?

"Hold on a secooond," Louis all but sang as the shuffling sound drilled into Logan's ear. "Ah, here we go. I'm calling to inform you that your father was released from prison today."

Logan felt his jaw drop. A chill went down his spine, and his heart started beating in his chest. His lips twitched into a smile, and then into a frown, into another smile, and then into a look of shock. He didn't know how to feel; he didn't know what to think. He hadn't seen his dad since he was a kid. He barely even remembered him; for as long as he could remember, it was always just him and his mom.

His mom had always explained to him that his dad was in jail because he had done something bad, but it didn't mean that he didn't love Logan any less. He didn't believe it. If his dad had actually loved him, he would've taken the time to try and get in contact with him all these years. Logan didn't know what it was that his dad had done to go to jail, nor did he really want to know. The fact of the matter was that his dad had abandoned him.

It was hard to avoid the questions, "Where's your dad?", "What happened to your dad?", "Why is your dad never around?" and to keep coming up with vague answers that people would be ok with, "he's out of town", "he had a work commitment", "I don't know why he's not here." Once he had actually told the truth and flat out said that he was in jail, and that was a fire storm in itself.

Parents gave him pitying looks, his mom lost some of her friends, and kids weren't really allowed to play with him. After that, he just never talked about his dad and after a while, no one seemed to care why his dad wasn't there. He moved on with his life and got used to it just being him and his mom.

At the same time, a small part of him had always wanted his dad to return and for everyone to forget whatever bad thing he did. Which was why every year on his birthday, when he would blow out the candles on his cake, he'd wish for the same thing: for his dad to come home. He never thought anything would come of it, it was just something he wished for out of habit.

But, this year, he finally got his wish and he didn't know what to do or say.

"Mr. Mitchell?" Louis asked, sounding concerned. "Are you still there?"

"Uh," Logan said, realizing that he had done nothing but breathe into the phone for a moment. "Yes, yeah, I'm still here. Um, thank you for telling me. Thanks." Logan rolled his eyes at his repeated phrases. Why not add in a 'Gracias', and 'Merci' while you're at it?

"You're quite welcome, Mr. Mitchell. I hope you have a nice day today. Oh, and happy birthday."

"Yeah, thanks," Logan replied, drawing little circles on his bedspread. "Uh…bye." He removed his phone from his ear and hung up the call. He tapped his cell phone against his bottom lip before tossing his phone aside. Groaning, he fell back against his pillows and he ran his hands over his face and into his hair.

He ran his hands through his hair before cupping the back of his head with his hands. He turned his head towards the wall and looked at the calendar, his eyes landing on the square that was circled several times with a large red '18' in the center. He then glanced over at the clock and watched as it hit midnight.

His phone rang a second time and he answered it, holding it up to his ear. "Hey, mom," Logan said after the warm greeting on the other end of the phone. He turned his head back to stare up at the ceiling, a small smile coming to his face. "Yeah, Happy Birthday to me."

A/N: And there's the first chapter. I'm really excited about this fic. I got the idea for this after talking to Riley about how there were rumors going around at one point that Kendall's dad was to appear in the show. That then brought up the conversation, "Where's Logan's dad and why haven't we seen him in the show?" After re-watching 7th Heaven and Dawson's Creek, I came up with this idea. I hope you all like it.

This fic is Logan/Rhuben fic (Lolla aka Heart of Texas).

Cheers,

-Rhuben