"Hello Tsuntsun here to add a tiny message!
So the format here looks a lot different than what I intended. I originally wrote this to fit the Army Amino scrolling text type. I'll try to fix that so it looks a little better, but I apologize for any inconvenience. I hope that you'll enjoy this short story. This is only chapter one, so there will be more in case you liked it. I also originally wrote this story with a song. Though I can't add the link in the text now, but the song I chose for ARA is available on Spotify.
Nils Frahm - Our own roof"
RUN
Run
...Run...
The night sky, so recognizable by now, was ever so dark, yet ever so bright. The stars filled every corner of the sky that I was able to see. My breath was visible in the cold autumn air. Rapid. Cloud after cloud until I was finally calming down. My heartbeat slowing little by little. My skin turning red from the cold, but what did it matter. My jacket was not on my mind when I had thrown myself out of the house, into the cold. The starry sky suddenly turning foggy, and with the blink of an eye I could feel something trailing it's way down my cheek. Quickly followed by many more. People turning their heads to look when they passed.
Why is she crying?
Why is she not properly dressed?
How shameful
Pitiful
Disgusting
Get out of my head!
Thoughts always judging me. Always criticizing everything I do. A shiver was sent down my spine and I was again back to the present. My chest feels so incredibly heavy...
The shoes on my feet where not warm, or anything special, but they were taking me firmly forward. The sound of water crashing against wooden walls. That's where they were taking me, and I wasn't going to protest. The ocean always made my heart calm and tranquil.
The wooden jetty was surprisingly quiet under my weight. Maybe it was because the sound of the raging water was deafening. Only one other person had been drawn to this place this time at night. I met the gaze of the young man as he passed me by, walking back towards the streets. Sparkling round eyes in the night, reflecting the starry sky perfectly in their big frame. Beautiful.
Ugly
*Sigh* Of course, he would think that seeing my pathetic posture. My lack of clothes, and my face covered in streams from tears. It doesn't really matter. Another soul just passing by. I was more curious about his life. Maybe he had a nice loving family? Maybe he had many loving friends? Support. Warmth. Perfect? A bright futureā¦
A smile spread on my face as I thought about what a wonderful life he might have.
Maybe it's terrible.
Yes. That was also possible. How would I know? As likely as it was for him to know how my life was, it was for me to know his. I wish the best for him even though I don't know him at all. Even though I have never seen him before, nor will I again.
Laughter was heard from the streets further away, and I turned my head towards the sound. I could not see anyone, only the lights from bars and streetlights. People were having fun, enjoying the start of their weekend.
While I'm dreading the start of mine.
My eyes opened slowly and all I could see was darkness. The noise from the streets where gone, and now replaced with a feeling of ear cap.
.
.
Weightless
.
.
Why was I feeling so weightless? My eyes got used to the darkness and it suddenly hit me.
I'm... in the water...?
Looking at the underside of the jetty... Panic filled me but I wasn't able to move a single muscle. How did I end up here? How long had I been here?
.
Is this... where I'll die.. ?
...
Close your eyes
...
.
Something black appeared in the corner of my eye, stirred the ocean. Creating a beautiful explosion of tiny bubbles in the darkness.
Milky way galaxy... So beautiful...
I wanted to reach out my hand and touch them, but it wouldn't move. Before I was able to try again, my body was being pulled fast towards the dark surface.
The lights from the ambulance flashed furiously in the distance. The sounds suddenly so very loud compared to the empty and quiet that had been underneath. A face that was out of focus for me, and behind that, the starry sky. It seems to be everywhere tonight... I'm glad... I really like the stars. The feeling of cold lips over mine. The explosive pain in my chest. It hurt. A lot.
Suddenly I was able to leave the vacuum I had been sucked into, and I could finally fill my lungs with air. A deep breath and the realization that my lungs were already filled. I started coughing up water and the pain escalated with every cough. I could feel the familiar heat from the corner of my eyes.
Loud
LOUD
I couldn't open my eyes properly due to all the lights. I kept them closed and I tried to drown out all the yelling, and all the beeping. Too much noise...
Please let me sleep
A sudden warm sensation filling my right hand. The warmth was spreading throughout my body, and I felt safe. Safer than I had ever been.
Thank you
Opening my eyes for what felt like the first time in years, I saw that I was in a hospital room. On my back and starring at the dark ceiling with all kinds of tubes stuck to me. My arm, my nose, my chest. It made me uncomfortable knowing that I was stuck on that bed, and the second I was about to rip everything off of me in cheer panic, I felt it. A very light squeeze in my right hand. Warmth surrounding it, and I tilted my head to that direction.
Sparkling round eyes
It was the man I had walked past on the jetty. Right? The very same man that I had imagined was living a good, and joyous life.
Why... was he here?
He met my gaze and smirked a little awkwardly. As if he knew what I was thinking he opened his mouth
"I couldn't leave until I knew you were okay."
I nodded slowly.
But how had he...
"... I saw your face. When you walked past me, I saw your face. You were crying."
Aah... I had forgotten about that. Suddenly I was filled with embarrassment, and I turned away so that I didn't have to meet his searching gaze. I felt like I had been a burden to this man, and not only that, but he had also seen me at my most vulnerable.
"It's okay!" He must have seen my facial expression just now, and rushed to explain that it was nothing to worry about. "You seemed so sad, and I couldn't just ignore that."
I looked up at the ceiling when he explained. I was way too self-conscious to look at him. Besides his eyes seemed to look straight into your soul.
"I wasn't sure if you wanted company so I was debating if I should go back or not. By the time I reached the street, you were at the far end of the jetty."
He stopped talking for a while and I was trying to process what he was saying. I couldn't remember any of it myself. It felt so weird not remembering what had happened.
"When I started walking back towards the jetty I saw you jump, and that's when I started running."
W-... what?
I had to turn my head back towards him and look him in the eyes to know that he wasn't lying. I didn't see a trace of dishonesty. Nor was he joking. He met my gaze steadily and again I was forced to turn away. Those eyes were way too intense, and starring at them felt like being sucked into a black hole.
I jumped...?
I figured at first that maybe I had fallen, but I quickly remembered that you can't fall from the jetty. There's a fence in the way that you must climb over.
"My name is Taehyung by the way." He continued on as if to lighten the mood. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but hearing his voice made me calmer. It was deep and strong, a sense of safety.
I turned to look at him and he smiled a little.
"Kim Taehyung. Nice to meet you! ...Even though the circumstances are a bit sad." He bit his lip whilst deep in thought, at least so it seemed.
I figured telling him my name wasn't a big deal, and he seemed so happy to finally know my name. A pretty name he said. We talked for a long time after that. About nonsense, about the weather, about interests, about food.
The hospital staff let him stay by my side, and we ate together. He sat on the chair next to my bed and kept smiling, and laughing for hours. He told me about himself, and I listened with interest. Mostly because I really wanted him to keep talking. He made me feel so safe, and calm. My earlier turbulence was not even on my mind anymore, nor the reason as to why I was always running.
Time is fleeting, and it was inevitable.
"Why did you jump?" He finally asked and his face turned serious. I looked out the window, trying to catch the night sky, but I could only see buildings. I sighed and kept my gaze on the skyscrapers.
"I don't know."
I really didn't know. I knew I had been very upset.
Sure, being in that black hole had made me think of several ways to get out, but I had never actually gone through with anything. I was too scared, and a part of me wasn't ready to die. I didn't want him to win over me.
He squeezed my hand, and it took me back to the hospital room. In my mind I had wandered off again, and he had noticed. In a way I was thankful that he took me back. Thankful enough to not be embarrassed about him holding my hand. The warmth he possessed was amazing. His entire personality was warm! And bright.
"I'm sorry." I finally said and he looked genuinely confused.
"What for?" He asked and I looked at him funny.
"For this. Your night could've been a lot better than sitting in a hospital room with a stranger... And for not having an answer to why you are here." I said and gave him an odd look for not understanding what I had meant.
He scuffed and smiled.
"I don't have anything better to do, so I might as well keep you company. I'm sure you could've done something better as well. And don't worry, we'll figure it out together."
I watched as he looked happy eating his pudding... Taehyung. What an odd figure.
Not really odd per say, but his kindness definitely wasn't anything usual. He didn't seem to have any trouble spending his night here with me. A stranger he had saved from drowning. So very unselfish. Such a big heart.
I watched him for a while and tried to figure out why he was so kind. How he had been raised in order to be so selfless. I admired him for that. He noticed my gaze and asked if I wanted some pudding too.
That's how it all started.
