Chapter ONE

*a Sherri Polo story*

*It's the day of the wedding shoot for the episode, "I Do." There is a great deal of scurrying around to make sure everything is just right as this will be the first gay wedding portrayed on a TV show. Everything had to be just right, and excitement could be felt by all.

~Sherri's POV~

I sit in my trailer as the make-up and dress team pretty me up for this big occasion. I have butterflies in my stomach because this really is a big deal for all of us. We know that this has to be just right, and even though we left rehearsal confident that we were ready, I know that I am still really nervous. On top of everything else, I know I am feeling other things. When we rehearsed last night at the altar, I almost couldn't remember my vows. Standing there, it was as if almost this was real, and they weren't really lines I was saying to Stef but sacred vows only to Teri.

I quickly dismiss these thoughts as fast as they come because I just can't and don't have the time and energy to entertain these thoughts of her. I have to focus on making this beautiful and perfect. When I am ready, I decide to walk out on set and look around. My breath catches in my throat at the transformation before me as the plain stage the night before has been turned into a wedding fantasy as beautiful and radiant as the gown I am wearing. I feel beautiful, and I feel perfect….

Then I see her:

Standing there, talking to a producer, in her snow white dress pants and shimmery top. Her golden hair makes my breath catch in my throat. I am glued to her radiance as my heart starts to pound so loudly I am afraid the sound will be picked up by the microphones being set up all over the set. Her laughter floats across the room like my favorite song. I stand for a while longer, watching her hand movements, her body language, hearing the hum of her voice above the hustle and bustle of the preparations. "Sherri, get a grip! You're just feeling all mushy because of what today's episode portrays," I give myself a pep talk as I straighten my dress and make my way towards her. She spots me and flashes her famous smile my direction, and I smile in return as the butterflies dance in my stomach again. I stand near her, smell her sweetness, she touches my hand, and I'm really not okay. I think I might faint right here on the spot. I've kept too much hidden for way too long, and it has at long last caught up to me.

~Teri's POV~

I've been in my trailer for over an hour now pacing back and forth. I barely slept last night. I knew Sherri and I were growing closer, but how did I let this happen? How did I allow it to get to this point? I guess it started out as a slow burn from our first meeting and being nervous about the show. Then being thrown into an on screen relationship made things a little bit more intense. We had many conversations about Stef and Lena as characters and how we wanted this to be as real as possible. So I opened my heart to her. I allowed myself to be one with my character. I allowed myself to think of her as my partner.. soon to be wife. Now here I am, pacing in my trailer because soon I have to go out there and film the wedding scene and act like it's just Stef and Lena.

I push away my thoughts. I can't think of this right now. I need to focus. I head to the set and look at the amazing job the crew has done on the backyard. It's beautiful! I stand and talk to a few people trying my best to let go of my feelings at least for now so I can focus on this scene.

That's when I see her:

Across the yard I see her and my breath catches in my throat. I physically gasp and Peter leans over and whispers in my ear, "Go get her, mama tiger!" She walks up to me, and I'm speechless. I haven't seen her in the wedding dress yet. It had been a joke around set that she had wanted to keep it a secret from me till the day we shot the wedding scene. I had been begging her for weeks to show me pictures. I even tried to bribe our wardrobe director. But everyone was in on it. They knew it would be a special moment, and it was.

Now, here we stand... in the backyard set and everyone's eyes are on us. But I see only her in this moment. Everyone else fades away. I smile softly at her and remind myself to chill out. I reach out and take her hand and softly whisper in a shaky voice. "You are so.. amazingly beautiful.." In that moment, I know this pretending stops today. This slow burn that has built for 6 months has turned into a raging fire, and it threatens to burn me if not controlled.

~Sherri's POV~

As Teri takes my hand and tells me I'm beautiful, I feel breathless but can't allow it to show in this moment. Instead I smile and ask, "So, are you ready for this awesome day of shooting?" I motion with my hand, "Isn't this just beautiful?" talking about the decor for the occasion. We make small-talk as we walk towards the first stage for the beginning of the film day.

I'm nervous as we take our places, but I put my game face on as the director yells, "Action!" I lose my resolve when Teri/Stef enters the room for her part trying to explain why she didn't tell me she was going back to work...at this moment, I fumble trying to remember my next lines but just can't and, "Cut!" is yelled as I nervously laugh. "I'm so sorry, folks! Nerves, I guess!" They say to take it from the top, and I get a grip as we redo our scene. When we get to the part where I take you to the bathroom and undo your silky blouse, I feel emotional as I reach up and touch where the bullet hole would be...if this was real, I don't know what I would be feeling but I try to imagine as I quote my lines perfectly. I see that you are becoming emotional as well, but I try not to dwell on it as we need to still get through the wedding ceremony.

The scene ends perfectly as we take a few minutes before the ceremony. I decide to go for a small walk around the set to clear my mind. Maybe I'm getting all caught up in the festivities, but all I want to do right now is take you to a side room and tell you what I'm feeling inside. I quietly lecture myself that this is not the time nor the place, and quite possibly I will feel differently in the morning. Yet, I can't seem to shake this feeling…

I go out to take my place on stage for the wedding, but I'm just going to go for it: find you and tell you...that way, it's out in the open and we don't have to feel weird anymore. But as soon as I find you and tell you I want to talk, the whole camera crew comes in as well as the rest of the cast, and I know it won't happen. No matter; maybe it's just better this way.

~Teri's POV~

The whole day has been insane. My emotions are up and down. One minute I will be laughing with the cast and crew the next minute, I'm looking at you wishing I could just tell you the truth. Right now I'm sitting in the backyard area. We just finished a scene in the bathroom where you touch my bullet wound. It reminded me of the day we shot my hospital scene, and I had blood all over me. I had never seen you cry before that day. You told me you hated seeing me like that. You knew it was fake, but it was still hard to see it. I held you in your trailer, and you cried then I wiped your tears away and made a joke about being emotional and got up and never mentioned it again. But that moment told me so much.

I feel a hand on my back and I look up and it's you. You smile down at me and sit on the edge of the stage with me. "Can we.. Talk for a moment?" you ask. I nod and take your hand and intertwine our fingers. For some reason today I need contact with you. I can tell you're nervous. You open your mouth several times to speak but nothing comes out. You don't make eye contact as you just stare at our hands. I run my thumb over your hand as my heart races. Are you about to say what I hope? Or maybe I'm just wishfully thinking. I look in your eyes. "Love, just.." I get cut off by a bunch of cast and crew coming in, and our little moment is ruined. You clear your throat and get up mumbling something about seeing me later.

I fight the urge to run after you but have a feeling maybe you weren't ready to talk if you were having such a hard time. I'm enjoying this wedding episode, but at the same time it's made both of us emotional and I'm ready for the wrap party tonight. I'm ready to have a drink with you and relax and maybe then we can talk. You always do get chatty after a couple glasses of wine. This thought makes me smile, but once again my thoughts are interrupted by the director telling us to start getting ready for the wedding scene.