Chapter One

Remus Lupin sat on his back porch, letting the warm morning sun soak into him. His pale skin glowed from the light and, he touched his wrist, felt hot. But it was a good kind of hot. The kind of hot Remus felt when vacationing at the shore with his friends; Banana Boat on his nose, sand in his hair, and a book in his hand. Or the kind of hot he felt after a steamy bath. Letting the water drain and just resting his cheek against his shoulder to feel the heat.

Remus rather fancied days like this. It was a day when no responsibilities weighed him down and his mind wasn't clogged with worries or concerns. It was just him, sitting in the sun with a glass of orange juice and a tarnished copy of Shakespeare's Sonnets. An enviable way to spend the afternoon, he mused. Or perhaps, the whole day.

He smiled to himself and sat back in his chair, not expecting his friend for hours yet. Remus would help him get dressed. A blue tie would look good with Sirius' eyes, he thought. Yes, he would tell him to wear the blue tie. Then, after making sure they both matched reasonably enough, they would go to the wedding together, checking to be certain James matched as well.

Remus cherished the thought of his friends looking happy in their tuxes. Sirius, of course, was never really happy, but he had definitely been close lately. Like last night at The Three Broomsticks for James' bachelor party. Sirius had been laughing and smiling, shamelessly flirting with Madam Rosmerta over one two many fire whiskeys. Remus had to hold back his hair later on back at Sirius' flat, as he threw up. But he was still in a good mood, even through his nausea.

"I don't see why you don't drink more, Moony," said a slurred voice from the inside of the toilet. "I happen to know you are a bundle of delight when you're wasted."

"Yes, keeping your hair from falling into your puke is certainly making me wish I had joined yours and James' little drinking game."

A laugh escaped from Sirius throat, hoarse from retching.

Remus had left in the early morning, after tucking Sirius in bed with a basin on the floor beside him. He had been smiling, even in sleep and Remus had resisted the urge to leap into bed with him.

Now, Remus sat in the sun, on sonnet 63. Maybe he should have leapt into bed with Sirius.

Remus sighed and closed his book. He would think about that matter later.

The wedding was beautiful. Sirius had shown up in a red tie, which Remus forced him to change (to blue of course), James was sweating nervously the whole time leading up to the ceremony, by which he just wore a satisfied smile as Lily approached him down the aisle, and by the end of the reception party, Sirius and himself were so drunk they couldn't even apparate home. Remus suggested walking to his flat and Sirius complied full heartedly. Probably because he had forgotten where his own flat was.

"Are we there yet?"

"Just a bit farther, at the end of this block."

Remus wasn't sure but somewhere down the street their hands had brushed together and Sirius had taken it. It was still in his possession when they reached the outside of his building.

"Think you can walk up the stairs or shall I be forced to drag you by your hair?"

In response, Sirius leaned closely into Remus so his breath was on his ear. It was hot. A really good kind of hot. "Do you want to fuck me?"

Remus pulled away and took a good look at his friend. Sirius was staring at him, all of him, and breathing heavily.

The trip had indeed proved to be a difficult one. Imagine walking up the stairs with a horny Sirius Black on your tail, unbuttoning, unzipping, and impatient. Halfway up the second staircase, Remus had been pinned against the railing and kissed fervently on the mouth, down his neck, and down his chest. Their hardness for each other had grown as they brushed purposefully together. "Sirius-Si-not here," Remus had gasped, pushing Sirius reluctantly away. They both darted up the remainder of the stairs as quickly as they could and threw themselves through the door, slamming it shut behind them.

Drunk and aroused.

Drunk and aroused.

Remus wondered how this always seemed to happen to him. He always seemed to end up in a room with Sirius Black drunk and aroused and wanting him. Wanting him. Well, wanting someone. At the moment, Remus didn't care that he was a substitution. Anything to get close to that beautiful body in front of him. He closed the distance between them quickly, pulling Sirius into a hungry kiss. He groaned as his tongue slid into Sirius' mouth. He tasted like alcohol and cake and Remus couldn't help but wonder what the rest of him tasted like. "Sirius, can I?"

"Please," he said quietly and Remus pushed Sirius against his living room wall, giving him something to lean against, and dropped to his knees.

It was of no surprise when Remus Lupin woke up the next morning to find Sirius sitting shirtless in his bedroom window smoking a fag. His expression was deep and unreadable. Remus just watched him silently as he took one long drag after another. This was just like Sirius, Remus thought, to regret having sex with me. He looked again at the face and understood that it looked, in every way, regretful and…and ashamed?

"Damn it all to hell" Remus dared breathe into his pillow. As he had expected, Sirius hadn't noticed his stirring in the least. This neglection was also not uncommon after a night of mind-blowing sex with Sirius Black.

Perhaps, Remus just hadn't been heard. He tried again, this time his voice sounded with gentle clarity, but his words came out less condescendingly than planned. "G'morning Sirius." Once again, Remus was mocked by the annoying can't-stand-up-to-my-friends factor. But at least it was enough to pull Sirius' attention away from an especially fat squirrel outside and to him. When their eyes met, Sirius grinned. Pretend like everything's the same then, you great prick, Remus thought.

"Morning Moony," he said. His voice was still raspy from sleep, though Remus knew it was doubtful Sirius ever slept longer than a few restless hours every night. In fact, Sirius had probably been up for a good two hours, just smoking and thinking and looking at the abnormally plump squirrel.

Remus said nothing, but stretched, pulling his arms above his head lazily. It felt good. His skin brushed against the honey colored sheets and Remus became intensely aware of his nudity. He scanned the floor for his pants. No luck. He looked hopefully at Sirius.

"Ahem. Have you seen my pants?"

Sirius looked amused. Then he patted his arse and winked. "I think they're currently in use mate." Remus eyed the pants around his friend's bottom and sighed at their familiarity. "I must say, Moony, that these pants are extremely comfortable, but a little loose in the bum. Now, I'm not saying you have a fat arse but…well not everyone can have as perfect a physique as I."

"Yes, your sleek stamina is dangerously arousing. I think I'm going to come just looking at you in my trousers. Oh yes, yes here it comes," Remus said in a sarcastic monotone.

"Oh sod off. You know you love me."

"You know I do, too." Oops.

"Hmm?" Sirius' eyes widened in surprise for a brief moment before shrinking back to their normal largeness. Remus looked away and down at the rug, finding it very interesting all of a sudden. He had the feeling Sirius was looking at him the same way.

"Well do you want your pants back or not?" Sirius slid from the windowsill and unbuttoned his pants. Remus' pants. Remus continued to stare at the rug Sirius stood on, but when the pants dropped to the floor around his feet, he became only aware of his erection and, he looked up, Sirius' as well.