.:Confessions of a Yaoi Fan:.
By: Nietono-no-Shana
PROLOGUE
It started off like a normal day, as it should. I slid the door open to our classroom and stepped into the room. I took my usual seat, towards the front of the class, which, of course, is where most of the intelligent students sit. Once I sat down, I propped my textbook open onto the desk and flipped to the pages of our assigned homework.
Sadly, I had stayed up late last night watching Gravitation that I'd completely forgotten about my math homework. So now, as I was hurriedly scribbling random numbers onto my lined paper, I didn't notice a person walk over towards my desk and stand right in front of me.
It was the voice from above me that broke my concentration, and I raised my head, assuming that the voice belonged to my teachers (I would've been whacked with a notebook if it had been my teacher, though).
Standing right in front of me was a blonde-haired boy, whose hair swayed to the right. He looked down at my blankly, and I wondered what he'd want with a quiet, timid girl like myself.
"Yes?" I'd said.
"Would you go out with me?"
The words were so plain and simple.
Blunt, actually.
But why me? It wasn't like I knew him. Heck, I didn't even know his name.
The only thing I did know about him was that he sat in the back of my Algebra II class, which was where we were right now.
Flabbergasted by his to-the-point question, I could only loose my sense of reality and merely blink up at him with my eyes.
"W-What?"
"I said if you'd like to go out with me," he repeated in his calm, leveled voice. "But, you don't have to, if you don't want to. It's just…you know…" His blue eyes trailed off to the side in an embarrassed manner.
I cocked my head to the side.
Was this for real? Or had his friends set this up as a joke?
I turned around and looked at each and every student's face in the classroom.
They were all looking back at me.
Hm, so there could be a high chance of this being a joke…
But, I was willing to play along with it. Besides, I was tired of being dubbed a weak, frail little shy girl.
"I…guess so," I'd said hesitantly, turning back to look at him. "But…is this a joke?"
"No," he'd said plainly. "It's just me telling you how I feel about you."
What else could I say to that?
CHAPTER 1 - DREAM ESCAPADE
"Oh. My. God!" Kairi exclaimed, clasping her hands together delightedly. "Someone asked you out?!" The sparkle in her blue eyes shone with radiant adoration, and I could tell that I'd done the wrong thing.
After my math class had ended, I'd made a beeline to Kairi's locker. Even thought Kairi had a history for overreacting, she was one of the three friends I had. And, she was the only female friend of mine, as well. It would've been idiotic to tell a random stranger that someone had asked me out, right?
Sora and Riku, who'd heard the news as well, stood alongside Kairi and I as we stood in the hallways of our school. Since we had ten minutes in between classes, we had time to dawdle off.
"That's weird," Sora said with a grin. "I never would've thought that Namine of all people would get asked out."
"Sora," Riku snapped, jabbing his friend with his elbow. "You should be happy for her."
"She knows I was just kidding," he nonchalantly replied. "Besides," he said, putting a shoulder around his white-haired friend, "I know that you don't have a girlfriend yet."
"Oh, please," Riku sighed, putting his friend's hand off of his shoulder. "Why would I want one now?" He quickly looked away, trying to hide his sudden embarrassment.
As Kairi laughed, my face remained unfazed, for my mind was trailing far, far away, where it would dream about one of my most beloved fantasies…
…Yaoi…
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"Sora," Riku snapped, jabbing his friend with his elbow. "You should be happy for her."
"She knows I was just kidding," Sora replied nonchalantly. "Besides," he said, putting a shoulder around his white-haired lover, "I know that you don't have someone yet."
"Oh, please," Riku shouted back, turning away to hide his embarrassment. "Why would I want someone now?"
"You're just saying that," Sora laughed, teetering from side to side. "Of course you want someone."
"Yes," Riku whispered. "Yes, I do…"
"Really!?" Completely oblivious, Sora asked, "Are you serious!?"
"Yes," he repeated. He closed his eyes and turned to face Sora. Once he opened them, his attitude had changed from selfish and snappish to serious and straightforward.
Noticing his friend's sudden change of mood, Sora began to ask what was wrong with him.
However, he got cut off, for Riku had seized Sora's hands and had put him against the hallway's wall. Riku put both of his hands on either side of Sora, that that his lover was trapped and couldn't slide out easily.
Sora's eyes softened and he was completely confused.
"Riku," he asked, "What are you doing?"
"The person who I like is…you," Riku whispered, leaning closer and closer to Sora's face. His cheek brushed against Sora's, making a chill slither down Sora's spine.
"Riku, " Sora murmured in his strained voice, "We can't. We're in school. If people find out, then-!"
"I don't care," Riku interrupted. "My love for you is too much, I can't…"
Their faces were inches away from each other's, and their eyes met. As they stared into each other's they found their burning passion for one another.
"Riku, I…"
"Sora…"
They both leaned in, their lips brushing against one another's. And then…
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"Namine! Namine! Hey, Namine!"
A brief shake on my shoulder seized my mind from my dream world, and my eyes blinked twice in a row before realizing that Kairi was staring straight at me, her face full of worry.
"You looked like you were in a coma," Kairi said, taking a step back once she'd realized I wasn't paralyzed. "Are you okay?"
"O-Of course," I reassured her. "I was just…thinking," My eyes darted to the side, as if looking at rows of gray lockers were much more interesting to look at than Kairi.
Even though it was completely obvious that I wasn't fine, Kairi smiled and took my lie to a different level.
"Aw, I bet you were thinking about him," she teased.
"Trust me, I wasn't," I quickly responded, turning back to look at my friends.
I was just thinking about SoRiku yaoi, that was all.
…Wait, I can't tell her that.
Being a yaoi fan takes secrecy, and I was lucky that my friends hadn't caught on to my boy-and-boy obsession.
If I ever told them, I was almost positive that Riku and Sora would want to keep a ten-meter distance from me, and they'd be wary of all the things they'd do around me. After all, a small jab to the elbow was 100 percent capable of forming a nice yaoi fantasy in my mind. They would have to do something really G-rated with one another in order to not make my mind trail off into its favorite world.
Yes, yaoi was my life.
And yet, it was something that I had to keep hidden from the world.
Every morning, I would stash away the copies of yaoi manga I'd manage to smuggle into my room under my bed. Thankfully, my mother never bothered to dust, so keeping them under my bed was the perfect hiding spot. And after I'd get home from school I would close my door and close the curtains so that I could watch Loveless without any intrusions. And, yes, I was one of those girls that wrote fanfictions about pairings that never exist in actual anime. Yes, I believe that Yuki and Suichi were meant for one another. Yes, I think that Suzaku and Lelouch are meant for one another. And, yes, I think that Sora and Riku should get together. …Even if they aren't exactly gay…
"So, who is it?" Kairi finally asked, which brought me back to reality once more.
I blinked my eyes.
"What?"
"Oh, come on," she sighed with a roll of her eyes. "Who was the guy that asked you out? You never gave me his name."
"Oh, right," I said under a nervous laugh. "His name is Roxas."
Sora and Riku looked at one another, and then back at me, their eyes blank.
"Who?" they asked in unison.
"R-Roxas," I repeated again, though I knew that wouldn't help answer their question.
"I don't even know who that is," Kairi said, crossing her arms across her chest. "Is he new or something?"
"No; he was in my Geometry class last year," I explained, clearly remembering him being in the back of the class.
"Strange," Sora commented. "Kairi usually knows all the people in our grade."
She scowled at Sora's remark, but decided not to push the sparks of argumentation further.
Riku, who'd drifted out of the conversation as usual, glanced up at the clock, which was right above him. After blinking up at the numbers for what seemed like minutes, he turned back to face us and announced that it was time to head to class. (He was always a very prim and timely guy, and hated when something was out of place.)
Once I'd said my good-byes, I started to head off to my Art Class, which, of course, was my absolute favorite time of the day. Usually, I'd walk along with a happy yaoi-theme song in my head, but today my mind was clouded with the fact that I'd been asked out by a complete stranger.
I felt triumphant and confused at the same time. Triumphant with the fact that I'd gotten ahead in the boy category without even trying (I'm sure Kairi would secretly complain about that on her LiveJournal), and confused with the fact that Roxas had asked me out. After all, we barely even knew each other, with the exception of the other person's name. It was just so sudden, that I didn't know what to think about it. Should I be happy? Or bewildered?
I didn't have more time to think, because I'd already arrived in the Visual Arts hallway. I pulled out my sketchbook from my schoolbag and flipped to the page where I'd been drawing a Yuri and Wolfram yaoi piece. After pulling out a pencil from the side-pocket of my bag (I always had it handy) and quickly re-drew Yuri's nose, I flapped it shut and stepped into the room.
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"You seriously asked her!?"
"Well, yeah," Roxas replied with a shrug. "I mean, you told me to."
"But I didn't actually mean it," his red-headed friend quickly mentioned. "And I didn't think you'd actually do it."
Roxas's eyes narrowed disdainfully.
"Wait, so are you telling me that that was all a joke?!"
"Well, uh, um…" his friend's green eyes darted in different directions, until they finally laid on a dirty blonde boy who was walking down the hallway with another guy. He was instantly relieved of being targeted by Roxas, because he waved wildly towards the mullet-haired blonde, calling, "Demyx! Hey, Demyx! Guess what?"
Immediately responding to his name, the sandy-blonde turned to his left to see a crazed lunatic waving his arms madly at him.
"Axel?"
"Guess what Roxas did!" Axel chimed in a singsong voice.
Curious, Demyx made a beeline over towards Roxas and Axel. The boy who'd been walking alongside Demyx slowly followed behind him, but his body language could tell that he didn't like to be sidetracked from getting to class.
"What happened?"
"Roxy's got a girlfriend!" he announced, putting a hand on Roxas's shoulder and leaned against it.
Demyx's blue eyes lit up with surprise.
"Really?"
"Really really."
"Axel," Roxas muttered, watching as a few schoolgirls passing by in a mush of giggles. "Can you keep it down?"
"But you should be proud!" Demyx interrupted. "I mean you're ahead of all of us, actually." He turned to look down at his shorter friend who'd been walking with him. "Isn't that right, Zexion?"
Zexion slowly lifted his head to face Roxas straight in the eyes. Whenever Zexion looked at him, Roxas always stiffened; even though Zexion was considered a friend, he imagined a cloud of depression and angst that always followed Zexion wherever he went. So now, that his pale, gray eyes met his own, he stood upright and braced himself for whatever his dark-blue haired friend was about to say.
"Congratulations," he said plainly, and then resumed looking down at the floor, which he seemed to be more interested in looking at.
Roxas couldn't help but smile. Even the slightest bit of encouragement was rare from Zexion.
"So who is she?" Axel asked. "You've always been telling me about her, but you've never given us her name."
"Her name is Namine," Roxas said in a low voice. He looked around the hallways to make sure no one was eavesdropping.
"So…can we meet her or something?"
"W-What!?"
"Oh, that would be nice!" Demyx agreed in his usual bubbly voice. "I'd want to meet her, too!"
"B-But I've just asked her!" Roxas explained. "Wouldn't she get freaked out if she saw three other guys wanting to meet her!?"
"Nonsense!" Axel reassured. "If she really likes you, she'd stay with you even if she thought we were total freaks!"
"Which you are," Zexion muttered from Demyx's side.
Ignoring Zexion's insult, Axel put an arm around Roxas and put his head on top of his. "C'mon," he persuaded. "We're not that bad, right?"
Of course Roxas didn't they were bad.
…He was just worried what Namine would think of them.
And was he in for a surprise…
TO BE CONTINUED...
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Kingdom Hearts, or any other type of branded item.
Authoress: Nietono-no-Shana
Inspiration from: My yaoi-obsessed friends.
Notes: Reviews would be nice. Feedback and constructive criticism is greatly accepted at all times!
-Shana-san