Surfacing
Pairing – MK
Rating - PG
Summary - A post 'In too deep' episode story.
Author's note - Many thanks to Ryanthorpe, for the magic red marker. Thanks yet again.
Disclaimer - I don't own them but I promise to return the crew to the boat when I've finished.
"You're alive." Kate couldn't believe it.
Mike was alive.
She kept repeating it, like a mantra, hoping that she'd eventually believe it. In the spate of a short few hours, Kate had gone from the depths of despair, seemingly watching Mike die, to the overwhelming feeling of happiness and relief of finding him alive. Kate kissed Mike tenderly as her hands gently caressed his bruised face, not intending on letting him go, unwilling to break their connection. "I thought you were dead."
Still dazed from Cavanaugh's final parting blows, Mike held onto Kate, ignoring the pain that wracked his stiff body. Her touch soothed those aches. Kate was there, holding onto him, so beautiful, almost too angelic that he wondered if he was still dreaming. Cavanaugh had tried to break him, savagely beating and kicking the daylights out of him. Mike had retreated deep inside himself to a safe place, to happier times. Just thinking about Kate and when they'd been together had been enough to lift his spirits, to take the pain away, even for the briefest of moments. Unfortunately, it had also given him the time to contemplate how he came to be where he was and what an absolute cock up he'd made of his life, especially the last few months. There was nothing like a little pain to cut away the layers of crap and hone the mind to what's really important.
Mike tried to speak but nothing came out. His mouth was so dry. The sheer effort of clearing his confused and concussed mind to form the words was exhausting. The gag hadn't helped either and neither had Cavanaugh's attempt to strangle him. Swallowing hard, Mike tried again, whispering in a hoarse tone, "Kate, … I … "
"Shh, Mike. I know you love me. Just hold me," She said softly, with an affectionate smile, before kissing him tenderly again, silencing him, knowing there would be time for more when he recovered. She knew he needed water and medical attention but she was unwilling to share him just yet. Mike's arms wrapped around her and despite all the layers of her boarding jacket, SAPI ceramic plates and the Kevlar vest, she revelled in the warmth of his embrace and the sheer pleasure of feeling him breath, knowing how close she'd come to never being able to do it again.
Chris watched a grim faced Dutchy come up from the lower deck of Gorski's boat and without saying a word, walking past him toward the bow. It had been that sort of day. Everyone was barely hanging on. More than just his Captain, Mike had been like a real friend to him, always asking after Sal and Chloe. Chris was going to miss him, but he knew that no one on board Hammersley would miss the CO more than the X.
Wearily, Chris ran his hand over his cheek, recalling what he'd seen in the bedroom. It was doubtful that he would ever forget the look on the X's face. With her Browning cocked and ready, Kate had confronted Gorski, the drug-runner that had murdered Mike, the man she undoubtedly loved. Chris could thank Sal and Nicky for that particular insight, but it had been plain to see with everything that had happened in the previous twenty-four hours, even for a mere male like him. Grief had been shoved far away, as the X faced Gorski, wanting to kill him, in cold blood, to seek revenge for her lover's death. Her anger had been palpable. Her entire body had trembled violently as she'd battled hard with herself deciding whether or not to pull the trigger even though she had every right to blow him away. The effort had been clear on her red face and it had seemed only his breaking of protocol by using her name had brought her back. Even though Gorski was a murdering bastard, Chris was pleased that he'd been able to get through to her because he knew when the dust settled the X wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she'd fired.
Looking down the stairs, Chris waited, allowing Kate more than her requested minute to compose herself. It had been more like five, but he'd already decided to wait until she was ready. It was only right. She deserved it. His heart went out to her, allowing her the space and time she wanted, but he wished he'd been able to find the right words to take away the hurt she felt, but he couldn't. There were no words to heal that deep wound. He'd done the same when he hadn't said anything to her after he'd returned to the boat after the sub had blown up. In his defence, on the boat deck, he'd barely kept control himself, remembering how much effort it had taken not to let the tears well. He'd been eternally thankful that he'd had the distraction of treating Sylvanna Gorski.
"Swain. X. Over."
Chris jumped as the X's clear voice crackled in his left ear. "Go ahead, X."
"Could you bring some water down to me? I'm in the small cabin off to the left."
"Roger that." Swain retrieved one of the bottles from the RHIB then walked down the stairs.
Mike sat down exhausted at his desk. No position was comfortable. Every muscle, sinew and bone in his body ached. The hot shower hadn't helped at all. And Swain wouldn't let him taken any pain medication because of concussion. An overwhelming desire for sleep came at him like a tsunami, unstoppable, but there were a couple of things left to do before he could finally give in to it. One was an email to Maxine, confirming his recommendation for Kate to be Hammersley's next CO if she wanted it and for his transfer back to NAVCOM, effective immediately.
Recognizing the knock, Mike sighed. "Come in, Kate."
All business, Kate entered his cabin, placing the report of the day's events for his perusal on his table. "Sir, my report." It was deliberately vague on so many details. It had been just too difficult to write. The only thing that had far too many details had been Swain's medical report on Mike's injuries. The list read like it should've belonged to at least a half a dozen Ultimate Fighter Challenge participants.
Ashamed, Kate's gaze was firmly on her boots, unable to look him in the eye. In her mind, she'd caused the chain of events that led to him being tortured. There were so many 'if onlys'. Top of the list was if only she'd taken his first call earlier in the night, instead of acting like a petulant bitch, jumping to conclusions over that dammed promotions list, then perhaps none of what had happened to him in the past day would have occurred. The initial happiness of finding him alive had worn off and guilt had set in. Logically, she knew it was ridiculous, but she still felt that she was to blame.
Mike scanned Kate's face. Although she stood at ease in front of him, the very model of a naval officer so professional, something had changed. What had happened between the pure joy they'd both shared when she'd rescued him to the present? "Close the door. Please sit." Mike ordered and then waited until she reluctantly sat down. "Kate, what is it?"
It was time to accept her responsibility. But where to start? How do you apologize for the misunderstanding that nearly got Mike killed? How could she forsake the man she loved with all her heart? Kate had no idea. "I'm so sorry."
"What for?"
"The misunderstanding with the promotion list." Kate admitted, "I overreacted, resulting in you being Cavanaugh's punching bag."
"No." Mike shook his head. She had nothing to be sorry for. "Kate, I'm to blame. I had so many opportunities to correct it. I could've have told you when you were writing your transfer request. Basically, I could've told you at any time before you left the ship. I could've gone to that pub. But I didn't. I was shocked, scared, and a little jealous. I should apologize to you. For so many things."
Kate had a feeling of whom he was jealous of but he shouldn't have worried. Dutchy was a friend and nothing more. But why was he scared? Mike was so brave, almost too courageous at times. "Scared?"
"I was so scared that I finally did something so bad that I finally drove you away from me. For good."
Reassuringly, Kate smiled. "I'm here to stay."
Mike returned her smile. Bugger protocol, he thought angrily. After the day he had, he couldn't give a shit anymore. Some things were far more important. All their recent problems had come down to his inability to decide between the loves of two beautiful, yet dangerous when provoked forces of nature. He had to choose between Kate and the Sea. Kate had known what she wanted and was willing to wait, for him. She'd told him on the dock in Karumba and back at base. It was time to decide what he wanted. In the end, it was easy.
He rolled his chair closer, took her hands in his, and said with all the sincerity he had, and a fair amount of twinkle in his eyes, recalling their conversation on the Karumba wharf, "Kate, I'm 42 years old. I want to resolve the direction of my life …" He added with a heart felt smile, " Marriage, definitely. Kids, love to. As long as you're with me, by my side."
fin