Someday he'll tell you.
You believe this with the fevered devotion of someone who knows that they are absolutely wrong. Because you know, the same way you know that his secret will never pass from his lips to your ears, that too many questions and connections and conclusions, and you could lose it all. And you know that if you lose this, lose him, then all the little broken pieces of you will be taken up and smashed down until there's nothing but dust. So with the fanaticism of the willfully blind, you'll go on believing.
Someday he'll tell you.