Okay sorry to everyone who expected me to update another story but I've had this idea before i even started most of my current stories you know what lets cut the diatribe and ill just say,

This is slightly based on a story from actionliker called 'from just a bite' i wanted to adopt it a while ago but couldn't get in contact with him,

Naruto gets bit by a vampire who then falls in love with him while he is trained by one of the strongest pure blood vampires who not only takes him under his wing (no pun intended) and removes him from ninja school but knows his true lineage and the skills of his parents. Cool right? Well it doesn't stop there

And a french assassin (not of the creed) a master of the Rokushi (Japanese word for six-powers), finds a young kaguya girl starving in a cave basically being tortured by her captors murders them and rescues her, adopts her as his daughter and down the line teaches her his skills, are you not on the edge of your seat?(if you aren't then I apologise)

And the last of the kurama clan, hopeless that she'll never become a ninja walking alone in a field finds rock lee a student without the ability to use ninjutsu or genjutsu and because of his spirit not only falls in love but becomes inspired to never quit, and finds a crazy doctor who teaches her the finer points of life and death so she swears to herself she'll 1: become a ninja 2: win his heart and 3: become the first ever kunoichi to master med nin techniques and genjutsu. And then they form a team so much like every other fan fiction te- I mean not that... yeah

So this will be the first chapter of my stupid plan

Also (and this might surprise you) I'm not Japanese nor do I speak it so I'll probably put most of the attack names in English, also I'll probably make up a lot of moves and as I'm not that well versed in Japanese I can't really make up moves think of a name for it then translate it to Japanese, though those that I do know like the rokushi, Shigan, geppo, stuff like that I'll probably leave Japanese u though any moves I make up I'll make English

But never mind that

Lights, cameras,

IT'S SHOOOOWTIIIIIIME!(sound of crickets chirping) FUCK YOU CRICKETS

Sigh

Let's begin

Outside ninja school we find a young blonde child sitting on a swing set sadly glancing at the other students, 'three years, and i can't seem to pass, I'll never become the hokage at this rate.' the blonde thought hopelessly he continued glancing at them until he was sick of feeling worthless, and got up and walked back to his apartment,

But on his way home he heard a voice down a dark alley "Sob.. so hungry, if i- ... sob" the voice sobbed, naruto never one to let someone feel as sad as he did plastered his biggest smile on his face knowing that a smile made people feel comfortable around him and walked down the alleyway, and it's her back to him was a ten year old silky pink haired girl sobbing into her hands, "hey" the blonde said softy and immediately the girl turned around her hair covered her eyes, he noticed she was wearing a Lolita style dress,

"Are you okay?" The blonde asked her, her only response was that her breathing hitched before becoming faster, "um why are you crying?" He asked hoping she would answer, "im sorry if im-" she moved closer, closer, until his back was against the wall (both literally and- no wait just literally) "sorry?" She drawled as if she didn't understand the word her lips curled into a smirk "don't be sorry" she said hungrily licking her lips like the cat that caught the canary "after all i could use your help, you see im soo hungry i haven't eaten in weeks," she put a finger to his lips and her smirk deepened her face was at his neck and he felt her tongue slowly licking the entire left side of his neck

the next thing he knew he was in immense pain and yet he couldn't scream

Then everything went black

Meanwhile with hiruzen

The third hokage the kami no shinobi had seen war and the countless horrors that came with it, he had seen endless suffering and the death of many friends now had to face his greatest challenge yet

Feigning interest in danzo prattling on everything from the good old days to gimme the nine tails so our village can reign supreme as bigges dickus, or something honestly he had stopped paying attention after danzo's tirade about not understanding the toaster,

he wished something or someone would interrupt the old bastard,

As soon as he thought that neko appeared in his office her calm voice hiding her worry said "we've lost naruto, and the squad constantly watching him are all unconscious" hiruzen shot up from his desk and put his hand on neko shoulder as she teleported them to the blondes last known location,

It was an empty alleyway he turned to neko and she said "all we know is he walked down this alleyway and then our anbu were knocked out" he looked at boar and bird two of his best and didn't believe for a second that they'd let this happen, mostly cause he'd fuck em up if they did, "search the village, I want every able ninja on this, and keep it from the civilians" he said as they all jumped away un awake that a lone butterfly watched them before flying off to inform it's keeper

With naruto,

The pain had ceased but he could hear running water he opened his eyes to see a sewer and after getting to his feet and the obligatory "hey where am i" part wandered down its nearly endless corridors came up to a big gate and he couldn't see any thing past the darkness so he got closer, closer, closer he could hear water running, closer and he saw a red haired nine tailed woman naked as the day she was born relaxing in a hot tub,

She looked at him blushed and jumped out of it before running put to him and wrapping her arms around him "naru-Kun! You've Finally come to meet me, yay! Well im kurama or wife or babe or sexy whichever works for you, and I'm the kyubii no yoko, and technically im your tenant so me casa su casa, sorry for dumbass thinking you were me, but your heads in between my breasts right now so i doubt you mind," her voice was so cheerful and quick he barely had any time to get his bearings nd then she started talking again, "listen we dont have much time you'll be awake in about ten seconds i just wanted you to know to contact me when you get home okay? Okay love you!" She kissed him on the head and he woke up

Again,

but this time his neck felt stiff, and instead of water he heard voices, "... coming, i really screwed up this time" a feminine voice spoke worriedly effort a calm and composed male voice said "now, now, dear no harm done, well except to the young lad here, speaking of him i see you're awake, good, though very few wake so quickly, now I have a feeling your thirsty aren't you?" Though naruto couldn't are out shapes and the world was very blurry he noticed the man handed him a cup which he took and quickly drank the substance inside

Before spitting it out, "bleh what is that?" He asked hoping to get the taste out of his mouth "earl grey" the man responded without any sarcasm, "not a tea fan?" He asked handing him another cup this one had an orange liquid which the blonde drunk, "ah orange juice" naruto said, and the shapes formed the girl from the alley and a man dressed in a Victorian style suit leaning on an umbrella as if it was a cane, the man had white hair and piercing red eyes with slits the man bowed "greetings i am IV or four, or for but i prefer IV," naruto wondered why the man kept saying four but let him continue "and i am called such as i am the fourth strongest of our race, a race you are now part of vampires-" "wait what!?" The blonde would've shouted that but he felt very dizzy and tired and that was the best he could muster, this time the girl answered "um sorry... when I... bit you . . . I uh... well I uh made you a vampire" she rushed out the last part though it came out a sounding like a squeak, a vampire? He wanted to ask but his voice wouldn't let him as he met her eyes a lovely emerald met his cerulean and both stared at each other,

IV timed it twelve minutes they both stared though he politely waited, when Moka blushed and broke contact he spoke again, "yes a vampire, you can still eat food and drink beverages, and as you are half vampire due to being turned by miss Moka here you can go out into sunlight, though her without her rosary and I without my ring would burn to ash,"

"Thats a lot to take in," Naruto said not only referring to what he was just told by IV but also by Kurama, trying to get to his feet Moka let him lean on her blushing at the contact and feeling responsible for his condition, "I wish there was something I could do to make this easier on you," just then they heard tapping on the window an IV went to open it, a bat flew in and dropped a message before flying off, IV read it before taking a lighter out of his pocket and burning it,

"Naruto, I must ask you a favour, would you be kind enough to take care of miss Moka for the day, I know you have ninja school tomorrow but if you do so I myself will train you, however I had to run here from iwa so I must return home, it is almost day and I am very tired," as he said that he leapt out of the opened window and Moka lead Naruto outside the building,

And upon leaving realised they were inside a clock tower, not to mention Neko finding them, they were immediately dragged back to Naruto house where the third Hokage was waiting,

Naruto sat and stared at the closest thing to a relative he had, and was glad he had nothing but relief when neko found him, and upon seeing monks said this "ah naruto, while im glad you have found a freind and proud she'll be living with you, ive had quite the scare tonight and should return to the hokage's office, so Neko babysit them" he smiled smugly at the blonde who sputtered know ing what he was in for,

Now what very few people in the hidden leaf knew was their were three anbu who took a liking to the young jinjuriki, these three were dog, weasel(who disappeared), and neko and each of them had a kind of family bond with him, to dog and weasel he was kinda like a little brother, but to neko he was like a son, and often treated him as such,

So when hiruzen left neko to 'babysit' he actually just gave her a resson to stay and make sure the blonde understood how worried they were,

Naruto asked moka to wait for him in the living room, and him and neko went to his bedroom, he sat on the bed while she closed the door, and the curtains and removed her mask,

"Naruto," she said hoping to draw his attention and he looked at he and saw the worry in her eyes, she took a deep breath and said "im not mad, i was scared your guard was knocked out, and you were missing and i heard you failed your classes and i was worried That enemy ninja had you and i had no idea what to do and im sorry i left you and im going to watch you all week now so don't worry and if-" her worried ramble was interrupted by the tired blond wrapping his arms around her, she smiled and said "okay, i think I'll finish grilling you in the morning, its time for bed," she put her mask back on and left to get moka while naruto got undressed,

When neko returned naruto left so moka could get changed into and shirt that was too big for him but worked as a nighty for her, and then the two got into bed with each other, blushing he said "g- goodnight moka" "go- good. . . N- night naruto" moka replied shyly

"Good night naruto, good night moka, sweet dreams" neko said sitting in a chair in the room watching them, they both bid her "goodnight" and drifted off to sleep after a few minutes neko checked the room again and upon seeing no one watching she removed her mask, tucked both in and kissed both of their heads,

Meanwhile with IV

he was sitting inside a small estate inside the hidden leaf village, already planning his student lesson when his butterfly landed on his shoulder, he looked at it as its antenna twitched, 'the third Hokage is aware of my kidnapping? It was a rather quick response time, I'll have to plan it better should it be a common occurrence' he internally sighed, before he laid down planning to get some rest, he had prepared two Fūtons for an old friend of his,

Meanwhile with yakumo

Now most people thought team tens leader and his star pupil were completely weird, yakumo wasn't most people, then again most people wouldn't have made a Neji voodoo doll in attempt to make him pay for insulting lee, she was on number 52 and considering she could only get seven more knives in would be moving on to number 53 by tomorrow, though the Neji doll was on the floor her lee doll was on her lap kindly watching her paint Konoha's handsome devil rock lee,

And as usual she was hidden behind a genjutsu that not even Kurenai would notice, she smirked in pride 'even the genjutsu mistress can't match my skill, ive only just began learning' she thought before realising her lessons with Kurenai were about to begin, picking up her stuff and sealing it into a scroll she blew a kiss to lee and skipped back home, forgetting to cancel her genjutsu.

It wasn't long before she came to the door and heard a voice from inside, "she's too weak physically" came her sensei's voice "she has no hope of becoming a kunochi" kurenai said sternly "what do we do? She has her heart set on being a ninja, if we forbid her she'll be crushed." Shizuku kurama yakumo's mum said sadly, "I know thats why i found another way, here take these pills put them in her food they'll weaken her body, but only for the next three meals any more would kill her," and with that her teacher walked out not noticing her still invisible student,

Yakumo couldn't believe her ears, the two women she trusted the most had conspired to make her unfit to be a ninja, unfit to train, and worse of all useless.

With tears streaming down her face yakumo ran she didn't know where but she ran as fast as her legs could carry her until she collapsed into a crying heap, her genjutsu dispelling due to stress,

'Why?' She thought "WHY?!" She cried hitting the floor before screaming "WHY?! AM I NOT WORTH IT?! THE EFFORT TO TRAIN?!" As the faces of her betrayers faces went through her mind creating various reasons they were vindictive and resentful towards her she thought of lee and her rage was replaced by hopelessness, with a trembling with sadness she asked "am i not worry of love?" "Of course you are" a male voice drawled she turned her head to see a charcoaled haired man in his early twenties with a blank look on his surgical scar covered face,

"Huh?" She said, "everyone is worthy of love," he continued his voice not breaking an octave nor his face showing any emotion, who was this man? She thought as he handed her a handkerchief, then he spoke again "what has made you sad?" And for some reason she told him everything, his listened intently upon the end of her story he sighed and said "ah, what a tragic tale of love and betrayal" "yeah im sad to say I'll never get to tell him how i feel, maby i should just . . . Give u-" before she could finish he threw a tanto at a tree beside her she looked up at him his eyes had nothing but rage while an insane grin split his face, he tilted his body so that his head was at th side of her cheek and said "giiiiiiive up on looooooooove?" He drawled dangerously before spinning on one foot and laughing maniacally

His eyes flashed at her and she suddenly wanted to run, he leaned closer and said "don't. Love is a splendid feeling those whores you mentioned are just jealous that you're closer to lee then them," he said and at first she thought him mad

Then yakumo(who is also crazy) realised how much sense it made 'yeah kurenai always told me not to look out for him (stalking him) and making sure he's safe (watching him sleep) and she always hated to know i had tried to watch him shower (she hasn't succeeded YET!)' "IT ALL MAKES SENSE!" She shouted, realising her mother and kurenai just wanted lee too themselves and hated yakumo cause lee secretly loved her, now she was more determined then ever to impress lee with her training, then depression hit her again "but i don't have a sense-" "HAH" he cried out of nowhere before he levelled his gaze at her and said "need assistance in fighting for the one you love? Vehehehe, i will teach you i can't just watch as those harlots you trusted tear out your heart,"

Now she was ecstatic she had found an ally in her quest for love, together her and. . . She turned to him and asked "what is your name?" "People call me Doctor Yandere, so doc yan will do," her and Yan-sense-"DR Yan-sensei!" He cried indignantly,

Her and Dr Yan-sensei would make sure no one would win lee's affection,

and if they did. . . "ILL KILL EM!" Yakumo shouted embracing the wonderful feeling of love, and letting it consume her to the point of insanity, her and her new teacher stalked further into the woods to re-train her in the most dangerous fighting style known to senpai's,

The Yanderes way: a knife based fighting style that relies on the love a Yandere has for their senpai and the hate for all the whores trying to lead senpai astray, this style focuses on strong knife stabs, slashes, and cuts, and just that (this makes it widely customisable to its various practitioners) it is also believed to empower those who master it, turning a turning the woman who wants to marry you into the woman you WILL marry(for fear she'll kill god for not making you love her enough, also every one else you know),

the doctors own surgery/tanto based fighting style: Dead On Arrival, which focuses on speed as well as surgical knowledge for attacks, agility and flexibility to make your strikes more deadly while simultaneously making you a harder target to hit, the fatal poisons tipping your weapons, your accuracy with a scalpel, and the sheer unpredictably of a mad man/woman),

sharpening her own genjutsu and med ninjutsu,

And combining it all into one deadly warrior of love.

With Katsumi Kaguya

'Pain has been my life, living in fear of my captors, beaten for simply existing, being fed dog food because they liked watching the last kaguya on her knees begging for more 'food' and raped because i lacked the power to stop them, most people would hate looking back on the day the were about to be forcefully fucked against their will, but to me. . . It was the start of the best day of my life,' katsumi thought with a smirk as she remembered that day so long ago now

Flashback WARNING FLASHBACK CONTAINS PEOPHILES, NEAR-RAPE, UNCOMFORTABLE SCENES, SKIP IF YOU DO NOT LIKE,

She was trapped inside a cage and surrounded by twelve men their lustfull grins as they slowly opened the gate only grew larger with every step they took closer to her, she screened "NO! PLEASE. . . I'LL BE GOOD. . . PLEASE I-" the eight year old begged with tears in her eyes being cut off by a slap from a man twice her size, one of them moved behind her and ripped the filthy rags they had forced her to wear and exposed her pale skin, budding breasts, and vagina,

One of them played wth her breast and grinned perversely "oh man, this ones an early budder, dont worry demon we'll be real gentle, as we take every last drop of your innocence," he said as he grabbed her legs forcefully spreading them as he rubbed his penis against her small body he put the tip to her entrance and

Was stopped by a haunting song "Taaaaaake meeee out to the baaaall game," the one about to take the last piece of her innocence dropped along with three others and stopped moving entirely "leeeeet me root for the hooooome teeeam if theeeeeey dont' win it's a shaaaaaaaame" and six others fell next as she finally noticed another man his hands were covered in blood the strange man continued singing "caaaaaaaause it's one!" He sang kicking the tenth man who was knocked into the wall at such speed he died on impact, Though weather it was the kick or the wall that killed him she didn't know "two!" He sang as the eleventh tried to punch him but he tilted his head out of the way and poking the man in the heart and he joined the others on the floor,

The last man obviously scared let go of her and tried to beg for his life, the mans responce was "threee strikes your out at the old baaaaall gaaaaaame!" As he kicked him in the neck a sickening crack was heard, and just like the last man he kicked went flying into the wall,

Then the mysterious man looked at the little girl and draped his brown jacket over her, as she took in his appearance he had blonde hair down to his neck and blue eyes like the midnight sky, his attire consisted of a dark brown suit over a black dress shirt, black dress shoes, and black blood stained gloves, and a brown top hat, "vile creatures, those that would harm a sweet little girl like your self," he said with an accent she hadn't heard before, "my name is john, what is yours?" He asked politely "K-. . . Kaguya, they didn't give me a first name " he put his hand to his chin before shrugging and putting his hat on her head, "huh" he grinned "it's raining outside" as he picked her up "let's get you out of this cave"

And the rest as they say is history

Flashback over

"Are you okay kasumi?" Her dad asked, she opened her eyes and nodded,

now kasumi was fifteen and wore a white kimono with red accents, and dark red gi for trousers and black shinobi sandals, and her figure had filled out a bit much to her initial dismay, though when her dad told her that any one who liked women would be staring at her chest or rear and would make an easy target she made sure to show a little cleavage and kept an eye out for perverts, despite her high b cup bust(which hadn't stopped growing) she was less concerend with apperence and more concerned with combat, and her long white hair had a wild look to it, she was also quite lean and muscular more so than most girls her age yet she noticed boys still stared

She had been trained by her dad in the art of assassination and combat, harsh as it sounds she wanted him to teach her to be strong and he did just that, though he had trained her to understand one thing over all other things 'there is no such thing as a fair fight',

Not only that but he had trained her in the rokushi, she knew the six base moves shigan, soru, geppo, tekkai, rankyaku, and kami-e, and had even began training her in more advanced ways to utilise the techniques, Unlike her dad she couldn't move using tekkai, so he insisted she learn how to focus it into certain limbs if she wanted to attack, and she had been learning how to use her kekkei genkai the Shikotsumyaku,

And despite both her and her dads lack of knowledge in the ability she has quickly making progress with it, "well come on katsumi, my old freind is waiting" and she nodded soon they would be in her dads freinds compound, a safe bed, a nice training grounds away from prying eyes and the chance to make freinds her own age(though more of a concern of her dads) 'and some nice boys and pretty girls to lure to her bed,' she thought glad her dad hadn't killed her other one night stands when he found out she was a Nymphomaniac and worse a bi-sexual one, but then he was a trained killer as long as she wasn't dead and enjoyed herself (and more so that she was safe, used protection, and her partner/s knew it was a one night stand) she was fine to do as she wished

Yeah her dad was really cool, either way they came up to the hidden leaf village and made for her dads freinds compound, it was quite far away from the town part of the village and was massive, her dad opened the door and said "now try to be quiet, I believe he will be asleep," she nodded and the two found their separate moms and drifted off to sleep,

Back with hiruzen,

Now hiruzen was currently enjoying a slow walk back to his office, greeting everyone as he walked by, as he entered the the tower now devoid of it's receptionist and most ofit's staff he was going to enjoy watching the night sky as he filed away his final remaing paperwork, but upon opening his door he was hit by the worst attack he had ever taken in his life

It was danzo's signature jutsu

THE OLD MAN MONOLOGUE JUTSU: TIMELINE MESSED UP EDITION

"Now back when i was a lad i had a dream that the hidden leaf would be the bigges dickus of the ninja world and i asked my self how do we do that and I received my answer as naruto was born providing our village with both sanctuary and remember the shoe shiners? I do. well back in my day we didnt have toasters we had to have those uchiha types to toast our bread for us, and girls dress to revealing today which gives me a boner and my pastor said was the work of the ninja devil, so I hired a ninja prostitute and upon reliving that having sex was a sin i brainwashed her to join root which despite being senile i still have for some reason and- SAUTOBI" he shouted wacking the hokage with his cane "have you been listening?" Hiruzen said "yes you were on the part were blah blah blah" he said having not listened to theman since he came walked back in danzo rubbed his chin and said "well I guess you were paying attention, well I'll get back to it then, so then the fourth hokage summoned Godzilla to kick the crap out of Madura uchiha and then Had the sinful secks with his lover fem-orochimaru-"

And for not the first time in his life hiruzen whished danzo was some brilliant schemer who secretly had the civilian council dancing on a string to de power the current hokage until he could take the position himself,

But in reality he knew the truth danzo was just senile,

The end

What do ya think?

Okay this is more of a if people want it thing,

And if you all need an extra incentive I'll tell you all my plans for the main characters,

Naruto: jitte(like smokers from one piece) and will have control of the nine tails cloak, he'll be part vampire, early learning the rasengan, shadow clones, will learn the harashin, might learn a few of the rokushiki, will also be smarter and be unofficial leader, he'll be able to track foes using his vampire senses and may eventually become a sealing master,

Yakumo: will use a tanto and kukuri combo, will have a good knowledge of med-ninjutsu and super high level genjutsu, she will be kind (except to sakura, kurenai, and her family believing they want lee to themselves,) though unlike the other two will prefer using genjutsu, and traps possibly even becoming a type of human puppeteer using genjutsu with chakra strings to utilise living people as puppets(not sure yet) like naruto possible rokushiki,

Kasumi: being more vicious and violent then her teammates she'll use hand to hand combat and making it more deadly using the Shikotsumyaku and the rokushiki, she'll also take the 'lead' during fights making people focus on her while the other two capitalise on this and lay traps for their enemies, might learn the eight gates, will have water style,

And as for team sensei YOU DECIDE

and you can choose from the list below yes im serious I'll do any of them

Anko

Yugao/Neko

Konan(I'll think of new akasuki members if you all want Nagato and Yahiko in the hidden leaf as well)

Tenzo/(I forgot his fake name)

Kurenai(though yakumo won't like it)

Tsume

Asuma

Rin

Danzo(though i can't promise he wont just ramble)

Handsome Jack(im the hero 101, step 1 murder people who havent done shit to anyone step two jack is the hero)

Gintoki sakata(odd jobs has really good rates)

Shantae(the half genie hero WHO BEETTER BE SMASH BROS DLC)

Yamcha(don't worry theres no saibamen)

and finally your choice, I have people I'd rather write and you have people you want me to write,

So get at me if ya want more