This is dedicated to Bobby and Qindarka, because they were hounding me to finish it.

"Tutorial"

Tweek was shivering. It couldn't have been the temperature, because the hot summer sun was beating down mercilessly on the poor kid. Though he was dressed in nothing but swim trunks, I don't think it helped very much. It was more likely that he was shaking from fear, which I thought was cute, in an odd sort of way.

"Do I have to do this?" he asked nervously, staring down at the pool beneath him. The water was still, but it didn't seem to make a difference in his paranoid little mind. "Oh, God, I'm going to drown."

"C'mon, swimming is fun," I called, playfully splashing the water around me.

Tweek cringed. "There's no way this is safe... you could put an eye out doing that! And I never learned how to swim!" he yelled.

"Well... I'll teach you!" I decided without a second thought. That's me, impulsive spur-of-the-moment Craig. "It's easy once you get used to it."

Tweek shook his head vigorously. "No! I'll drown!"

I swam slowly over to the edge of the pool. "Do you really think you can drown in a pool?" I asked, climbing up to stand next to him. "This isn't even the deep end. You can touch the floor with your feet."

Tweek started shaking. "No!" he insisted. His face was spasming violently, like he was having some kind of internal struggle. Or a seizure. I guess he was trying to come up with a better excuse since he knew I was right.

"Water's too co- WAUGH!" He was cut off by my shoving him forward into the water. I felt a little bad afterwards, but I couldn't help but laugh. Besides, it would cool him down.

A few seconds later, he surfaced, and flailed wildly in a panic despite the shallowness of the water. "Hey! You pushed me!" he spat, noticing how hard I was laughing. "It's not funny!"

"Yes it is!" I called back, no longer laughing but still grinning. "Besides, you look cute with your hair in front of your face like that. Gotten over your fear of water yet?"

"NO!"

I cannonballed into the water, joining my panicked friend. Tweek screamed in surprise, but was interrupted when I gently placed my wet hand on his shoulder. "Hey, calm down, alright? It's going to be okay."

The next thing I knew his body had stopped moving, which was unusual for him to the point that it was shocking. He didn't even seem to be breathing. Then he closed his eyes and started breathing deeply. A smile slowly spread across his face. He let out a soft "ahh" sound, the same sound he makes when he's drinking a good cup of coffee.

"Gotten over you fear of water yet?" I asked again.

Tweek's eyes snapped open, and he immediately began shaking again. He looked down to see that he was waist deep in the pool, and screamed.

"N-no," he whimpered, but he still seemed a little calmer than before. I still had my hand on his shoulder. Maybe he could still get through this as long as he had a friend to help him along.

"Just relax," I said. "You just have to get used to moving around in the water, and it's pretty fun." I made a few small but precise splashes with one arm to demonstrate. "See?"

Reluctantly, Tweek flapped his arms. His movements were weak and awkward, and he didn't move the water much, but it was still progress so I congratulated him anyway.

"You're getting there," I said proudly. "Now, try this." Suddenly, I swished my arm through the water, directing a spray of water into Tweek's face.

"Hey!" he screamed. "What did you do that for!"

"Come on, splash me back!" I taunted, blasting a few more sprays at my friend. "Or are you too chicken?"

"AH! I'm not a chicken!" Tweek shouted. He flailed his arms wildly, sending a spastic barrage of water into my face. Whether on purpose or by accident, I'll never know.

I laughed and spat out the water that had gotten into my mouth. "There ya go. Do you feel comfortable now?"

He stopped jittering for a second and took a few deep breaths. "...I-I think so."

"Ready to try swimming?"

"OH GOD NO!"

I put his hand on his shoulder again, and squeezed it very lightly. He shivered, and I began to withdraw my hand, afraid that I had freaked him out, but then he smiled and he placed my hand back where it was. "I'll guide you through it, okay Tweeky? You'll be fine."

"...O-okay."

"Now, the easiest style is the doggie paddle."

"Oh god, there are different styles! I'll never remember all this! GAH!"

I laughed again. I couldn't help it. He was so cute when he was scared. "Calm down. They're pretty easy to remember, and the only one anyone even uses is freestyle."

"So why don't you just teach me freestyle!" He pulled roughly at his hair. "Oh god there's no way I can do this!"

I put my free hand on his other shoulder. "Dude. Calm. Down."

He closed his eyes again and breathed deeply again. He looked a little calmer though he was still shaking. "…S-sorry."

I smiled at him. "It's okay. Are you ready to learn freestyle?"

"S-sure."

"Okay." I slowly and carefully removed my hands from his shoulders. "Stay here for a sec and watch me, okay?"

"O-okay."

I swam forward in a burst of speed and didn't stop until I reached the next depth marker, turned around, and swam back again. When I got back to where Tweek was, I stood up and caught my breath. He just stared at me in awe, impressed by my speed or lack of fear I guess. "Do you understand what I did?"

"N-not really," he whimpered.

"You just use your arms to propel you forward. Like this." I demonstrated the arm movements of a freestyle stroke while standing in place. "Try that."

For a few seconds he stared down at his hands with wide eyes like he had no idea what to do, and then his head started jerking up and down, which I guess was his way of nodding. In a series of quick, jerky movements his arms started moving like I showed him. I was surprised by how fast he seemed to have caught on.

"Okay, next step."

"Dear lord, there's more!"

"Don't worry, you're done with the hard part. To swim you just have to make sure your feet aren't touching the floor, then you use the arm motions I showed you. But, your head should be underwater-"

He looked like he was about to have a heart attack. "I can't breathe water!"

"No, see, because you-"

"I don't have gills! What do you think I am, a fish!"

"Listen to me!" I think I might have flipped him off, but that's become such a reflex that I can hardly tell when I do it. "You have your head underwater when you swim, but you turn it to the side every few strokes to breathe. Watch." I attempted to demonstrate this as best as I can.

"…Oh. I-I think I get it."

"Ready to try?"

"…Yeah."

I moved out of his way so he'd have room to swim. "Just go out a few feet and then come back, okay?"

He did that weird nodding thing again, then proceeded with the craziest swimming I'd ever seen in my life. He made a lot of weird noises too, but he seemed to be doing okay, and his crazy movements were entertaining to watch. I smiled, feeling proud of him. Eventually he came back, looking like he was about to pass out.

"Good job!" I yelled, smacking him on the back. He yelped and I laughed. "Are you over your fear of water yet?"

" Yes, you can stop asking me that now." He sounded irritated but his eyes revealed that he was laughing on the inside. I think he was proud of himself too. "I think… I think I like the water."

I climbed out of the pool. "Come on, I think we've spent enough time here today. Later we'll come back and try to work on a less tiring way to swim, and eventually move on to the deep end."

He followed me, practically falling over as he climbed over the edge of the pool. I have to admit it was my adorable and made my heart leap. "I'd like that," he agreed without the slightest hint of a twitch.

"Wanna go get some coffee?"

He smiled brightly. "When do I not?"

My smile matched his. "I bet you taste like coffee." Then I leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. He practically jumped out of his skin, and at that moment I thought he was the most beautiful thing in the world.

"Jesus Christ!" he yelled, but then he smiled and laughed as his wiped his lips, and I think he felt the same way I did. "You're crazy. Oh god I hope you didn't give me mono." And once more, I laughed.

Hey, that's me, crazy, impulsive, spur-of-the-moment Craig.
That's him, adorable, jumpy, paranoid Tweek.

That's us, the perfect match.

- End