His eyes were cold and emotionless, his position was stiff. He was full out glaring at me, and it scared me with the intensity of this moment. It felt like he was portraying a message to me without speaking words. He seemed angry with me but I couldn't fathom why. Next thing I knew, I was staring at him in shock as he was just freely kissing Jessica Stanley. I knew she crushed on him, but I didn't think Edward returned those feelings.
"W-What…" I murmured dizzily.
Edward pulled away, smirking slightly, emotionless.
"Oh hey Bella," he whispered coolly.
"What was that?"
"I figured…if you could do that, then I could do the same,"
"W-What are you talking about?" I stammered, confused.
"I mean this, us," he gestured to us. "Was bullshit to you wasn't it?" he snapped.
"Edward…" I spoke slowly. "What's going on?" I grasped his arm but he pushed me off, gently I think. I'm sure if he pushed me with all his might, I would be sent flying.
"Jacob?"
"He kissed me!"
"I'm sure he did," Edward rolled his eyes bitterly.
"No need, I have all the explanation from Jacob,"
"What did he tell you!" I exclaimed.
"Enough," he spoke simply. He ran a hand through his hair, looking at me. "You want to hurt me,"
He's never actually gotten mad before, and even when he's pissed, he seems so calm. Since that day, he's refused to hear me out, or actually have anything to do with me, and I would understand if I actually did cheat on him.
I've seen him talk to Alice, he talked to Emmett, and he talked to everyone but me.
Few days later
I begged Jacob to tell him the truth, and as far as I was concerned, Jacob did, and somehow everything changed.
I sighed depressed, sitting on my bed. I haven't gone to school in 2 days, because it hurts to see him. My window was open, just in case he stopped by. I knew it was immature for me to behave this way but I really couldn't stand to see him right now, I was afraid I might crumble under his stare.
My dad was beyond pissed with Edward, saying he was never welcomed back, and I just rolled my eyes. I felt completely dead inside
Later at night
I woke up, sobbing softly from a nightmare again.
"Bella," Edward cooed.
I looked up at him in shock, he looked so sad and agonized as I choked back a sob.
"Did you have a nightmare?" he whispered.
I looked down, turning away from him, keeping my cries to myself.
"Bella," he begged.
I felt his weight on my bed.
"Bella please just look at me, please," he begged, his voice becoming choked.
"I-I need…you to leave," I whispered.
"Bella," his voice didn't mask the pain he felt.
"I didn't mean it," he pleaded.
I looked at his eyes, he looked tormented, and I wanted so badly to take his pain away, but him being in my presence already hurt so badly.
'Please don't make me go, I need to be with you, please," he begged.
"Oh Bella I'm so sorry," he sounded like he was crying, I've never seen him cry but vampires can cry, I think.
"You can go back to sleep…" he whispered.
"I don't want to," I shook my head.
He stuck to his word, he didn't bother me at all, he always talked so quietly, afraid I'd snap at him, and I think he just found being near me comforts him in some weird way, but I can't say it didn't work. His presence was comforting to me too.
"Bella?" he whispered quietly.
"Hm?"
"Are y-you…ever going to…forgive me?" he sounded so hopeful.
"I already forgave you," I pointed out.
"Then why do I feel so shitty?" his eyes were sad.
"Oh Edward," I cooed, wrapping my arms around him.
"I…I can never get over hurting you, I'll hate myself for the rest of eternity,"
I pulled away slightly to look into his pain filled eyes, feeling his pain.
"Jessica meant nothing to me…I just…felt so hurt…I thought you were cheating on me," he scoffed out, looking down, taking my hand gently, but the pain of a broken wrist seared through me. I hissed and took it away.
"I'm so sorry," he cried, apologizing over and over as I soothed the pain.
"It's okay," I whispered.
I looked down sadly, probably tormenting him since he couldn't read my thoughts.
"What are you thinking?' he spoke quietly.
"Nothing," I replied. He, for once, just accepted that answer, snuggling closer to me, wrapping his arms around me.
I couldn't bear to see him so down, he's hurting as much as I am, and who am I to not forgive?
Once I drifted off to sleep, I could swear I heard him whisper in my ear.
"I love you so much, and I always will,"
Next morning when I woke up, Edward was lost in his thoughts.
He seemed to be alert though, as he smiled at me.
"Morning,"
"Hey," I yawned.
"You stayed here the whole night?"
He shrugged. "Not really, I went out for a walk for a couple of hours,"
"I can see that being around me is misery for you," I pointed out.
"It's only misery for me because I can't get over what happened, and besides being without you makes me even more miserable," he pointed. "I tried; it didn't work at all,"
I frowned. "I-I don't know when I'll let you in again and I don't want to lead you on,"
"You're not, I can't live without you, and this is already more than I deserve, letting me stay here to be with you," he looked down.
"Don't say that," I shook my head.
His eyes were sad as he looked at me. "You deserve better Bella,"
"Let me decide what I deserve," I snapped, immediately regretting taking a snap at him when he was already vulnerable.
"I'm sorry," I murmured, scooting closer to him.
"Can you forgive me for all the wrong I've done, all the pain I've caused you," he murmured.
I gazed into his eyes intently, seeing nothing but sincerity before I made up my mind.
"I already have," I whispered lightly. "You know I can't stay mad at you ever, I just-"
"Need space, I understand Bella, I just want you to know I'll be here when you're ready. I'll always be here,"
I didn't know how long he was willing to wait but I took his word on it. He'll always be here.