In Love With an Angel
~hotsleekeyz~
ONE-SHOT
Pairing : DracoXHermione
Setting : about three months after last day at Hogwarts
MP3 song on my PC right now : My Immortal, Ascension of the Spirit, Give Unto Me, Listen to the Rain and The End by Evanescence ( to add some effect, you could play the same song on your player. This is supposed to be a sad fic)
***You could check out on my other fic first. That could serve as the basis for this one---what happened on Draco and Hermione's last days at Hogwarts and why it ended like this. Blah. It's entitled "Say You'll Stay". ENJOY!
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If there was anything else that he wanted, it was to give himself the freedom that he was denied of when he was young. That is why he often went out of their mansion at muggle London to feel that freedom. He rides his BMW Sports Coupe whenever he felt like he was suffocated yet again. That was Draco Malfoy. . . months after his Hogwarts days.
Draco took well his time. He owned it, he thought to himself over and over again since there was no father to speak of. . . no Lucius Malfoy to hold him back---for he was dead. Lucius had gone crazy when he was sent to Azkaban.
That's the reason why he never thought about rushing his job. Draco's family had more than enough wealth to suffice ten lifetimes. And in that lonely scenario, Draco still remained that beautiful, young man who undoubtedly grew perfectly well---with a height of 6'1" and his smooth, flaxen hair flowing freely against the wind of his moving vehicle. His eyes were still stunning---glimmering even at the slightest light.
He went past blocks and cities, still not contented in stopping at anywhere. Draco Malfoy was dead bored. . . or rather was searching for something that his gut feel was pleading for him to find. His time was ticking. . . he had to find what his Fate had destined for him to find before he leaves into oblivion. . .
Seemingly unaware for some time, Draco noticed that he was driving through a pleasant muggle village with huge houses side-by-side his passing car. He somehow hoped to live in that place. . . simple yet elegant. He compared his lavish living to that the village offered his sight. It was a cozy place and it was only at that time that he knew that he could settle with anything less than best, as oppose to what his father taught him. He wanted the simple life. Draco Malfoy, the ambitious and smug god-like creature that blessed Hogwarts with his gift of beauty sought for meaning in his life. . . he had to. . . before it could be too late.
Like as if he'd found what he had to, he stopped by one house, with his eyes not contented at the sight. It was a huge house that Draco stopped at. . . though not as big as the Malfoy Manor. His nerves started to tense up. . . what was with that house? Why did he have to stop at that place that didn't seem too attractive for his standards? Yes, the house was pretty but there was something with it that made him uncomfortable about it. It seemed like the house was indifferent to him. Draco wanted to move away from that house as cold air brushed his neck through his open windows.
He closed his eyes slowly. . . Why can't I step on the gas and just go, he asked himself over and over again. Draco was dead numb. . . too numb that he didn't feel the wind touch his skin again and he didn't feel his muscles tense up any longer. In fact, he started to relax the numb muscles. His attempts were unsuccessful. . .
The moment he opened his eyes, Draco led his head towards the crème-colored wooden door. It was swinging open before his eyes. . . it all happened too fast. Draco hinted someone walking out of the door that he just had to fix shut his eyes again.
Why can't I look? Who is there?
With a fixed resolve, Draco opened his eyes again and saw what seemed to him the most beautiful creature alive. . .the woman he most wanted to see. . .
No. It can't be. Why would I want to see her? Not her! I drove miles away from home only to find myself pulling over here?
Draco stared at the young lady walking graciously on their garden. The goddess was out in the morning to attend to her plants as she was donned in a pretty floral dress that fitted perfectly through her curves, flowing down up to her knees. She was pretty that way. . . her eyes happy as it usually was. Her spirits were at high. She was ecstatic. . . and at that sight, Draco felt the most unimaginable emotion he could get. . .Sorrow. Utmost misery filled his sense. Draco opposed the energy that the young woman emitted.
Hermione, he whispered to himself. It had been some while. Draco found himself clutching the sides of his seat in suppressed rage. He was too guilty. He had done her wrong. He once played with her emotions, though not intentionally. And memories just came flooding back at the wrong time. There was the image of them in one bed, having the time of their lives in each others' touch. the next image that floated through his head was the next morning when Hermione was already out of effect of the potion that he used to make her agree to come with him to his dormitory. . .
God, Draco still loved her. . .only that he did the wrong thing to express it.
.only that it was too late for apologies.
Hermione, he whispered again in the air as the woman swung her hips elegantly to the melody of the chirping birds. The scene was perfect. Early morning with an angel, Draco thought. My angel, my angel, he repeated in his mind. Draco loved her for real, after all that happened, after all that he saw in her and after all that he understood why she was like that. . .
After the only person who controlled his mind died. . . after Hermione told Draco that she sympathized for his loss. . . after Hermione actually grieved with Draco when Lucius died, secretly, turning away from Draco at chances that their eyes would meet because she felt the sorrow that could have been Draco's. . .
Draco loved Hermione for that. . .he told her that. . .only with an unimaginable way he could. He cheated her. He made her drink that potion to have her in bed, and hopefully have her to bear their child. Too wrong.
He just watched Hermione at that short distance---too near, yet too far. Why wouldn't he just step out of his car and say hi to her? But after all that he's done to her? Was he still deserving to have her attention? Her love?
With one swift movement of her head, Hermione chanced her eyes upon Draco's car that was parked exactly in front of her house. She tried to peer inside the car for the suspicion that won over her.
Get out of here Draco. Get out of here now!
A surprised look surfaced through Hermione's youthful aura. Slowly, a warm smile formed on her rose lips. She was actually pleased to see Draco.
Why Hermione? After what I've done?
Too sure she was, Hermione waved her arm in greeting, her smile not tearing off.
Draco's head turned in the opposite direction. . . the anguish, the guilt. . .it swept his other emotions away. And that's when he found out that he was no longer numb in senses. . .
An unknowing expression filled Hermione. Why did he turn away? Now that he found me? That I found him at last?
And so she walked towards the car and suringly, Hermione rested her palms over the side of the car.
"Hi Draco!"
Draco didn't dare look. He remained staring at the other side of the road,
"Why Hermione?"
"What do you mean WHY?"
"Why are you talking to me?"
"You've gone all the way from your place to mine. . . it's but fitting I welcome you to my home. Come out here now and let's go inside the house", mouthed Hermione in a cheerful way.
"Why don't you hate me?"
Silence. Draco knew well that Hermione was thinking.
"I've forgotten the feeling what it is to hate you, Draco. Please, come inside. I'm really excited to have wizard company again!"
Draco drew his head towards Hermione as he forcefully brushed something off his cheeks. . .his tears. . . He seeked through Hermione's gleeful eyes, pleading her not to ask him to go inside anymore.
Hermione put her hand over the door to the car and opened it. "Get out of your pretty car Mister. Whether you like it or not, you're going inside and I'm not taking no for an answer."
"Hermione, you're still stubborn", came Draco's reply as he hurriedly pulled the key out and let himself be dragged out by Hermione.
Hermione smiled. "Now that's better. That's Draco I'm talking about"
Hermione had her small fragile hands grasping Draco's arm. Draco was shaking his head morosely.
You don't know what you're doing Hermione. You're going to regret this.
They entered the humble home without another word. Hermione let go of Draco and ran straight at the back part of the house. She waved her hand. "Here Draco! Come here!"
Draco nodded but then followed Hermione's command. He walked towards the back door and there he saw Hermione opening the glass that restrained everything that's inside. Beyond the glass was a beautiful paradise. . . there was a pond where a bridge was hanging over to another part of the secret garden. Everything else was beautiful, Draco said to himself. He saw another part of Hermione's world that was unimaginable for Draco's mind. The place seemed to him a tropical forest, with lush trees hovering the whole place. And there was the mini falls at one corner.
"Hermione, this is beautiful. I've never seen anything like it", said Draco still in awe at the place. What was not seen from the road where his car was parked showed little of Hermione's world. . . her world after him.
"Thanks. My mum allowed me to fix the whole place. I'd probably grow old here so I asked her to make me rearrange the whole place and there it is now. . . my masterpiece"
"I never expected you to have that ability to do things this way. . .", sneered Draco, though kindly.
Hermione pouted. "Really now. . ."
Draco smiled feverishly. Why can't he do things normally? Why was he constricted from acting normally towards her? He wanted to go out at once, despite the wonder that beheld him there. . . when a set of whooping coughs came off him.
Hermione's eyes shifted from playful to concern. "Draco, are you all right? I could get you some water. . . wait a sec"
Draco lifted his hand up in the arm as the other suppressed his coughs. "It's. . . okay Hermione. Nothing. . . serious. . ."
"Are you sure?"
Draco nodded, still fighting his illness back.
"Okay then. Let's sit down out there. There's a bench beyond that bridge"
Hermione led the way and they went pass over the bridge. Draco saw from underneath the many fishes that swam lazily through the water. Birds kept on chirping and butterflies flew across Draco's nose. Everything was perfect. . . and Hermione in front of him---with him, was almost perfect. Almost. . .
In no time, they were sitting on an old wooden bench. Beside and around them were all green. All peaceful, Draco thought.
"So, how've you been Draco?" asked Hermione as her fingers nervously ran across the cloth of her floral dress.
"Better. And you?"
"Here, taking my time. I've taken lessons in a college. I'm not rushing it though. I just thought I'd need it to have a nice proper job. Have you gone off to college too?"
Draco went silent. "Uh, no. Haven't thought of that yet. I have all the time in my hands"
"You know, if I were you, I'd get back to school soon", stated Hermione. . . just as the old Hermione back at Hogwarts did. She was pretty sure of herself. And Draco admired her for that.
"Hermione, I was wondering if---if everything else went well after-um, you know, after we parted from Hogwarts. . ."
Hermione's eyes lost a bit of glimmer but still, glee was winning over the auburn orbs that Draco loved to look into. "Uh, yeah. I was bit in rage after that but then I've grown out of it. It's not something I'd take to my grave you know. Somehow, I understood why you had to resort to that. If I loved someone I would have done some things of those sort." Seeing that Draco hasn't changed his uncomfortable look on his face, Hermione took her hand over Draco's. "Don't worry, I'm fine. If you're thinking of something else that could have happened other than me crying over it, well, nothing else DID happen. No baby to think about. . . so please Draco, could you give me an honest smile now?" asked Hermione as if pleading. Her eyes were already infected by the sorrow that Draco had in his.
The moment that Hermione said please, Draco gasped.
She can't be pleading, could she? Why would she care about seeing me smile?
Slowly, Draco's face contorted into a more serious frown. Hermione easily sensed it. It was too much to see. What could have been happening to Draco when she already said she was fine?
"Draco, please tell me what's wrong", pleaded Hermione in the most sorrowful tone that Draco ever heard. He led his eyes towards anything but Hermione's.
"Uh, *cough* nothing's wrong. I'm just glad you were able to move on after *cough* what happened---I mean, what I *cough* did to you"
It caught Draco in surprise to feel Hermione's hand moving his back up and down to soothe his coughing. He relaxed at once when another coughing sound came off him.
"Draco, I'll just get a glass of water. Please stay here"
Hermione didn't need Draco to stop her. She knew when an illness was in need of care.
While Draco sat on the bench, he watched Hermione leave as he flinched over the words that he didn't want to hear from her. Never did he want to hear Hermione plead.
Hermione came back with a glass of water and handed it kindly to Draco. Draco took it generously and drank most of its contents.
"Thanks Hermione"
Silence.
"Draco, is there something you wish to tell me?"
"There are so many things I want to tell you but I could only wish to have an eternity to tell you about it"
Draco's voice was firm. That firmness was the one that Hermione learned to fear all through her Hogwarts days.
"Perhaps you could start now", said Hermione in her usual angelic tone that soothed Draco's tensed nerves. Draco looked up at her again and smiled. He wanted everything of Hermione---how her hair would flow beautifully down to her slim waist, how her eyes shined through the morning light, how her lips would move to every word she said. . . and just everything.
"I---I, I don't know where to start exactly"
"Um, Hogwarts", suggested Hermione.
"Uh, okay then. You very well know that *cough* we had something else back in Hogwarts other than hate for each other and all those while we believed we did hate each other. . . and *cough* and we came up with a conclusion we were just forced to something that other people were accustomed to do like my father disgracing muggleborns and Potter and Weasley hating me. It was all dictated to us and I don't know. I guess we just wasted our time over that"
"Yeah, I must agree"
"And that THING happened. You know, I was totally sorry for that. I haven't lived over it until now. . . and I feel like I'm totally responsible for anything that's to happen with you---like there's this certain bond that connects us after that incident. Like I feel that I should take care of you after Hogwarts days no matter what in fear of what could have happened and what else could happen. . ."
"That's so sweet Draco." Hermione smiled. A serene smile that pierced Draco's heart the more that he gazed upon it.
"And *cough* I do want to take care of you Hermione. I want to see you every single day of my life. . . I want to make sure you're doing great. Well *cough* I just want to tell you that I still love you Hermione. . ."
Silence.
Hermione took Draco in a warm embrace. Though hesitant at first, the warmth that Draco felt made him hold Hermione back in his arms, with his eyes tightly shut. How good it feels to have her back in my arms, he thought as he reminisced the moment.
"Hermione, I don't want to let go", said Draco in a gentler voice.
Silence. . . and broke it was Hermione's reply. "I'm not letting go"
In the peaceful union came a sob. "Hermione, I don't want to let you go. . . not now, nor ever. . . but I have to. You have to let go Hermione. . ." Draco was crying.
Hermione felt a painful twinge in her heart. This can't be serious. . .Hermione convinced herself. She admitted to herself that she loved Draco as well. She was willing to share the rest of her life with him. . .how could he just tell her he loves her and then take it back by commanding her to let go? "Draco, I will never let you go. Not now when I've found you at last. . . I've tried to know where you were but only saw myself failing at every attempt. Your love made me alive Draco. . .you made me live"
Draco's sobs were getting harder and harder as it alternated with his throat burning in his coughs. He was holding Hermione tighter and tighter. "I don't want to let go Hermione. . . I'm afraid." He was trembling in Hermione's touch.
Hermione tried to fight back her tears. She could feel Draco's heart throbbing hard against her own fragile chest. "I love you Draco. . ."
At that, Draco pushed Hermione away. Hermione attempted to gather him back in her arms only that Draco's hands brushed hers off. "No! You can't love me Hermione!"
"Why not?" yelled Hermione whose tears had flown freely down her blushed cheeks.
Silence filled them again. When Draco's eyes met Hermione's again. "Because you can't love me. You shouldn't love me"
"Why! Tell me why!" screamed Hermione with her whole self. What could have been Draco talking about? She was willingly surrendering herself to him already and what's wrong?
"Because you should never give your heart to a dying man Hermione!" Draco yelled back. He fixed his gaze upon the ground and breathed hard.
Hermione was badly taken by shock. . . how could it be? Was Draco really dying? It must be a mistake, said Hermione to herself over and over in her mind.
"You are not dying Draco. . . please tell me you're not"
A painful throb hit Draco at the spot. Hermione was pleading again. How hard it was for him to hear the word again. 'Please. . .' ---a word that never suited Hermione, Draco convinced himself.
"I am Hermione, and nothing's going to stop that from happening. I will *cough* die soon and *cough* I didn't want to tell you about it but since *cough* you've pushed me to tell *cough* you, I did. . . besides, I think you deserve *cough* to know. . . you have to let go *cough* of everything *cough* that holds me to you. . . that's why you shouldn't *cough* love me. . ."
Draco had stopped crying. He found himself going back to the time when he was still at his car watching Hermione so happy only to cause her sorrow at that moment.
"It's still curable, now is it? If muggle doctors can't cure it, I could accompany you to Madam Pomfrey at Hogwarts. She could help", mouthed Hermione in desperation she never felt before.
"There's no cure to my illness Hermione. I got it from my family. . . I've tried asking Madam Pomfrey about it last year and---"
"Last year? You knew then that you were sick?"
"Yes. . . she was able to give me something that could delay it. . . *cough* but nothing could stop it. *cough* Perhaps that's the reason I was led here. . . I had to tell you and perhaps too it's happening soon and I won't have the time to tell you *cough* about it some other time. . ."
"Don't talk as if it's coming soon Draco. . . please. . ."
How painful it was for Draco to hear Hermione plead again. But he felt comfort when Hermione took him in an embrace. Hermione held him tighter than he did.
Their eyes were both closed. . . not one wanted to live another moment without the other. . . but then. . .
"Draco. . . I'm going to miss you. . . but not now. Please don't leave me now. Give me some time to be with you. Please?"
"Not now Hermione. . . later. . ."
At that, Hermione bawled like a child. "No Draco! Not later! Tell me it's not going to happen today!"
Draco smiled. . .
"Do you love me Hermione?" asked the beautiful man with much calmness that Hermione feared.
"Yes Draco. . . I do love you"
"I love you too. . ."
Draco pulled away and led his lips towards Hermione and kissed her tenderly. Her lips were already red from her biting them to fight of her sobs. She did nothing more than to return the divine kisses that Draco gave her. . .
His hands traveled to her warm cheeks and continued to taste more of her sweet lips. He licked the bottom lip to gain access through Hermione and she did comply by opening her mouth slowly. The moment she did, Draco didn't waste time and so kissed Hermione hungrily, bringing her back into a tight embrace. He was crazed. . . mad. . . he knew it was coming soon. . .
"I love you Hermione, I---" whispered Draco in between kisses only to be silenced by another kiss by Hermione.
Their tongue were dancing to the rhythm of their heartbeats when a along came another cough from Draco that burst in Hermione's mouth.
"I'm sorry. . ." was all Draco said as he pulled away completely and excused himself from coughing again.
He was madly exerting effort to fight it all off. . . what he didn't know was what Hermione discovered.
Hermione had her finger touch the side of her lips and found it wet on that spot. When she took it into view, she saw blood tainting the tip of her finger. "Draco. . ."
What Draco heard was the thing that pushed him to run off. He stood from where he sat and immediately turned his heels back outside the Granger residence. Hermione wasn't to be stopped by what she saw on her fingers and soon followed Draco.
Hermione was running with her tears running over her skin. . . Draco was almost at the door when he stopped at another set of whooping coughs. He was trying to catch his breaths only to find himself weak---that he collapsed on the floor with his mind in a daze. . .
No, no, no. . . you can't let Hermione see you in that form. . .
Next to him was the agonized Hermione, trying to pat him awake. "Draco, wake up! Could you hear me?"
"Hermione, Hermione. . . you amaze me"
"Draco, I'm taking you to the hospital, just you wait here okay?"
A hand stopped Hermione from standing up from her knees. "No, Hermione. There's no time. . . just stay here with me. That'd do good"
"Draco. . ."
Hermione took Draco's head against her bosom and let him rest against it. She had him in her arms and she savoured the moment that he was still there. . . she knew everything that Draco was trying to say. . . it was coming. . . coming all too soon.
"Hermione, a Gryffindor is brave, loyal and strong. . . that's exactly *cough* you. . ."
"Perhaps you don't know me quite well Draco. . . I'm not brave. I'm not strong. All you find in me is loyalty. . . I couldn't be brave or strong right now. Not when I see you like this"
"Like this Hermione? What's this?"
"You suffering. . . you leaving me behind"
"But Hermione, this suffering is nothing to what I've caused you. . . and no, I'm not leaving you. . .I'll be here no matter what"
Hermione took Draco's cold-stricken hands in hers. "Please know that I love you Draco"
"And I do too. . . and I'm glad that I've the chance to tell you what I wanted. . . Death sure does it makes it way to us dying men. . .it let me see you one last time. . ."
A squeeze came off Hermione's tensed fingers. Draco's squeezed her fingers back. "Draco, did you know that it's to happen now?"
"No. . . not when I just saw a plain house outside. . . not until I saw you walk down the garden. It's the sight of you that told me it was the end"
Silence.
"How?"
"I've heard people telling me that an ethereal being shall meet you before you'd die. . . it will take you to Death's embrace. . . and it would be the last thing you'll see. . . she will end your suffering. . . she will never want to see you suffer and just wish to give you peace. . ."
Hermione cried more and more. Draco was actually describing her by how he stated it.
"And now, I've seen you at last, without knowing how I came here and why I was driving miles away from home towards nowhere only to find myself here. .. in your embrace. . . and I find you as the last thing that I'd see. . . in your arms all my pain will vanish and no pain shall win over me as in your embrace, I will find my peace. . ."
"I'm not an angel Draco. . . I'm just me. I'm just Hermione. . ."
"But you are Hermione. . . and how am I so glad to see you now. . . to see that I'm in love with an angel who will bring me to my peace at last. . ."
Whooping coughs came in between them and seconds after Draco found his resolve, he smiled, with blood at the corner of his lips.
"Thank you Hermione. . . thank you for loving me. . ."
"Should you really leave now?" asked Hermione more firmly. She knew well it was coming.
"No time is better than now. . . Hermione, just hold me. . . please. . ."
To what Draco didn't know that it was more dreadful to have Hermione hear a dying man plead. She was left with no other choice. No other chance to tell Draco everything but that small time left. . .
Against her humble chest came against Draco's firm one with slowing breathing and hastened heartbeats. His face too peaceful that it hurt Hermione more than she could have imagined.
Hermione, tell him now. . .
Draco opened his eyes, no more coughs. No more distraught and sorrow in his senses. Just the serenity he long wanted to have. "Do you love me Hermione?"
"Yes, yes Draco! I love you!"
"So continue breathing when I'm away. I will live with you. You will be reminded of my presence everyday until I meet you again. I'm sorry it had to come to this. I didn't want you to see me die. . . but I guess I have no other choice but surrender to your arms right now. Hermione, promise me you won't cry. . . please. . ."
"I can't. . ."
Draco nodded. "I understand"
"No you don't", said Hermione firmly. No fear. No anguish left. Just her motivation to get one thing across Draco. . .
Draco laughed. "Hermione, this is not the time to be a hard-headed little girl. Don't snap at me now. I don't have much time to snap back at you"
"I can't do what you ask me to do. And yes perhaps you have left a mark with me wherever I go. You've left me something that's yours. . ."
"If you want me to take my love back, then I will", teased Draco though he felt his life being taken away slowly.
As if he was chased after, Draco's breathing became more intense and deep that he never had the chance to hear Hermione's gasps between his ragged breathing.
"Draco, wait. Don't die just yet, I'm not through talking!" screamed Hermione in panic.
And as if he obeyed, Draco's breathing became slow, deep and calm---as if allowing a bit of time for Hermione to speak.
"Draco, you've left me with a child. . ." said Hermione's agonized voice as it broke to her pearl-like tears again flowing over her skin.
With one last look, Draco's eyes smiled at her, just as his perfect lips did. His weight bored onto Hermione. . . then his lips formed into a smirk. Hermione loved that smirk.
Then with one last breath, Draco tried to scream Hermione's name only to be held back with the lack of air. He lost it in Hermione's arms, with the most beautiful smile that Hermione's ever seen. . .
. . . too peaceful. . .
. . .too sorrowful. . .
. . .both at the same time. . .
~Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns characters, setting, etc. Except: the plot is mine.~
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nah, I was just taken away by the music I have on my pc. It's too sad. So anyway, please review. I found myself displeased with this. I couldn't write it the way I wanted to. Perhaps I will edit it some other time soon or have another ending to this. I have something in my mind though I haven't figured out how it would fit so then I'd leave this to that for now. Thanks for reading by the way!
ONE-SHOT
Pairing : DracoXHermione
Setting : about three months after last day at Hogwarts
MP3 song on my PC right now : My Immortal, Ascension of the Spirit, Give Unto Me, Listen to the Rain and The End by Evanescence ( to add some effect, you could play the same song on your player. This is supposed to be a sad fic)
***You could check out on my other fic first. That could serve as the basis for this one---what happened on Draco and Hermione's last days at Hogwarts and why it ended like this. Blah. It's entitled "Say You'll Stay". ENJOY!
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If there was anything else that he wanted, it was to give himself the freedom that he was denied of when he was young. That is why he often went out of their mansion at muggle London to feel that freedom. He rides his BMW Sports Coupe whenever he felt like he was suffocated yet again. That was Draco Malfoy. . . months after his Hogwarts days.
Draco took well his time. He owned it, he thought to himself over and over again since there was no father to speak of. . . no Lucius Malfoy to hold him back---for he was dead. Lucius had gone crazy when he was sent to Azkaban.
That's the reason why he never thought about rushing his job. Draco's family had more than enough wealth to suffice ten lifetimes. And in that lonely scenario, Draco still remained that beautiful, young man who undoubtedly grew perfectly well---with a height of 6'1" and his smooth, flaxen hair flowing freely against the wind of his moving vehicle. His eyes were still stunning---glimmering even at the slightest light.
He went past blocks and cities, still not contented in stopping at anywhere. Draco Malfoy was dead bored. . . or rather was searching for something that his gut feel was pleading for him to find. His time was ticking. . . he had to find what his Fate had destined for him to find before he leaves into oblivion. . .
Seemingly unaware for some time, Draco noticed that he was driving through a pleasant muggle village with huge houses side-by-side his passing car. He somehow hoped to live in that place. . . simple yet elegant. He compared his lavish living to that the village offered his sight. It was a cozy place and it was only at that time that he knew that he could settle with anything less than best, as oppose to what his father taught him. He wanted the simple life. Draco Malfoy, the ambitious and smug god-like creature that blessed Hogwarts with his gift of beauty sought for meaning in his life. . . he had to. . . before it could be too late.
Like as if he'd found what he had to, he stopped by one house, with his eyes not contented at the sight. It was a huge house that Draco stopped at. . . though not as big as the Malfoy Manor. His nerves started to tense up. . . what was with that house? Why did he have to stop at that place that didn't seem too attractive for his standards? Yes, the house was pretty but there was something with it that made him uncomfortable about it. It seemed like the house was indifferent to him. Draco wanted to move away from that house as cold air brushed his neck through his open windows.
He closed his eyes slowly. . . Why can't I step on the gas and just go, he asked himself over and over again. Draco was dead numb. . . too numb that he didn't feel the wind touch his skin again and he didn't feel his muscles tense up any longer. In fact, he started to relax the numb muscles. His attempts were unsuccessful. . .
The moment he opened his eyes, Draco led his head towards the crème-colored wooden door. It was swinging open before his eyes. . . it all happened too fast. Draco hinted someone walking out of the door that he just had to fix shut his eyes again.
Why can't I look? Who is there?
With a fixed resolve, Draco opened his eyes again and saw what seemed to him the most beautiful creature alive. . .the woman he most wanted to see. . .
No. It can't be. Why would I want to see her? Not her! I drove miles away from home only to find myself pulling over here?
Draco stared at the young lady walking graciously on their garden. The goddess was out in the morning to attend to her plants as she was donned in a pretty floral dress that fitted perfectly through her curves, flowing down up to her knees. She was pretty that way. . . her eyes happy as it usually was. Her spirits were at high. She was ecstatic. . . and at that sight, Draco felt the most unimaginable emotion he could get. . .Sorrow. Utmost misery filled his sense. Draco opposed the energy that the young woman emitted.
Hermione, he whispered to himself. It had been some while. Draco found himself clutching the sides of his seat in suppressed rage. He was too guilty. He had done her wrong. He once played with her emotions, though not intentionally. And memories just came flooding back at the wrong time. There was the image of them in one bed, having the time of their lives in each others' touch. the next image that floated through his head was the next morning when Hermione was already out of effect of the potion that he used to make her agree to come with him to his dormitory. . .
God, Draco still loved her. . .only that he did the wrong thing to express it.
.only that it was too late for apologies.
Hermione, he whispered again in the air as the woman swung her hips elegantly to the melody of the chirping birds. The scene was perfect. Early morning with an angel, Draco thought. My angel, my angel, he repeated in his mind. Draco loved her for real, after all that happened, after all that he saw in her and after all that he understood why she was like that. . .
After the only person who controlled his mind died. . . after Hermione told Draco that she sympathized for his loss. . . after Hermione actually grieved with Draco when Lucius died, secretly, turning away from Draco at chances that their eyes would meet because she felt the sorrow that could have been Draco's. . .
Draco loved Hermione for that. . .he told her that. . .only with an unimaginable way he could. He cheated her. He made her drink that potion to have her in bed, and hopefully have her to bear their child. Too wrong.
He just watched Hermione at that short distance---too near, yet too far. Why wouldn't he just step out of his car and say hi to her? But after all that he's done to her? Was he still deserving to have her attention? Her love?
With one swift movement of her head, Hermione chanced her eyes upon Draco's car that was parked exactly in front of her house. She tried to peer inside the car for the suspicion that won over her.
Get out of here Draco. Get out of here now!
A surprised look surfaced through Hermione's youthful aura. Slowly, a warm smile formed on her rose lips. She was actually pleased to see Draco.
Why Hermione? After what I've done?
Too sure she was, Hermione waved her arm in greeting, her smile not tearing off.
Draco's head turned in the opposite direction. . . the anguish, the guilt. . .it swept his other emotions away. And that's when he found out that he was no longer numb in senses. . .
An unknowing expression filled Hermione. Why did he turn away? Now that he found me? That I found him at last?
And so she walked towards the car and suringly, Hermione rested her palms over the side of the car.
"Hi Draco!"
Draco didn't dare look. He remained staring at the other side of the road,
"Why Hermione?"
"What do you mean WHY?"
"Why are you talking to me?"
"You've gone all the way from your place to mine. . . it's but fitting I welcome you to my home. Come out here now and let's go inside the house", mouthed Hermione in a cheerful way.
"Why don't you hate me?"
Silence. Draco knew well that Hermione was thinking.
"I've forgotten the feeling what it is to hate you, Draco. Please, come inside. I'm really excited to have wizard company again!"
Draco drew his head towards Hermione as he forcefully brushed something off his cheeks. . .his tears. . . He seeked through Hermione's gleeful eyes, pleading her not to ask him to go inside anymore.
Hermione put her hand over the door to the car and opened it. "Get out of your pretty car Mister. Whether you like it or not, you're going inside and I'm not taking no for an answer."
"Hermione, you're still stubborn", came Draco's reply as he hurriedly pulled the key out and let himself be dragged out by Hermione.
Hermione smiled. "Now that's better. That's Draco I'm talking about"
Hermione had her small fragile hands grasping Draco's arm. Draco was shaking his head morosely.
You don't know what you're doing Hermione. You're going to regret this.
They entered the humble home without another word. Hermione let go of Draco and ran straight at the back part of the house. She waved her hand. "Here Draco! Come here!"
Draco nodded but then followed Hermione's command. He walked towards the back door and there he saw Hermione opening the glass that restrained everything that's inside. Beyond the glass was a beautiful paradise. . . there was a pond where a bridge was hanging over to another part of the secret garden. Everything else was beautiful, Draco said to himself. He saw another part of Hermione's world that was unimaginable for Draco's mind. The place seemed to him a tropical forest, with lush trees hovering the whole place. And there was the mini falls at one corner.
"Hermione, this is beautiful. I've never seen anything like it", said Draco still in awe at the place. What was not seen from the road where his car was parked showed little of Hermione's world. . . her world after him.
"Thanks. My mum allowed me to fix the whole place. I'd probably grow old here so I asked her to make me rearrange the whole place and there it is now. . . my masterpiece"
"I never expected you to have that ability to do things this way. . .", sneered Draco, though kindly.
Hermione pouted. "Really now. . ."
Draco smiled feverishly. Why can't he do things normally? Why was he constricted from acting normally towards her? He wanted to go out at once, despite the wonder that beheld him there. . . when a set of whooping coughs came off him.
Hermione's eyes shifted from playful to concern. "Draco, are you all right? I could get you some water. . . wait a sec"
Draco lifted his hand up in the arm as the other suppressed his coughs. "It's. . . okay Hermione. Nothing. . . serious. . ."
"Are you sure?"
Draco nodded, still fighting his illness back.
"Okay then. Let's sit down out there. There's a bench beyond that bridge"
Hermione led the way and they went pass over the bridge. Draco saw from underneath the many fishes that swam lazily through the water. Birds kept on chirping and butterflies flew across Draco's nose. Everything was perfect. . . and Hermione in front of him---with him, was almost perfect. Almost. . .
In no time, they were sitting on an old wooden bench. Beside and around them were all green. All peaceful, Draco thought.
"So, how've you been Draco?" asked Hermione as her fingers nervously ran across the cloth of her floral dress.
"Better. And you?"
"Here, taking my time. I've taken lessons in a college. I'm not rushing it though. I just thought I'd need it to have a nice proper job. Have you gone off to college too?"
Draco went silent. "Uh, no. Haven't thought of that yet. I have all the time in my hands"
"You know, if I were you, I'd get back to school soon", stated Hermione. . . just as the old Hermione back at Hogwarts did. She was pretty sure of herself. And Draco admired her for that.
"Hermione, I was wondering if---if everything else went well after-um, you know, after we parted from Hogwarts. . ."
Hermione's eyes lost a bit of glimmer but still, glee was winning over the auburn orbs that Draco loved to look into. "Uh, yeah. I was bit in rage after that but then I've grown out of it. It's not something I'd take to my grave you know. Somehow, I understood why you had to resort to that. If I loved someone I would have done some things of those sort." Seeing that Draco hasn't changed his uncomfortable look on his face, Hermione took her hand over Draco's. "Don't worry, I'm fine. If you're thinking of something else that could have happened other than me crying over it, well, nothing else DID happen. No baby to think about. . . so please Draco, could you give me an honest smile now?" asked Hermione as if pleading. Her eyes were already infected by the sorrow that Draco had in his.
The moment that Hermione said please, Draco gasped.
She can't be pleading, could she? Why would she care about seeing me smile?
Slowly, Draco's face contorted into a more serious frown. Hermione easily sensed it. It was too much to see. What could have been happening to Draco when she already said she was fine?
"Draco, please tell me what's wrong", pleaded Hermione in the most sorrowful tone that Draco ever heard. He led his eyes towards anything but Hermione's.
"Uh, *cough* nothing's wrong. I'm just glad you were able to move on after *cough* what happened---I mean, what I *cough* did to you"
It caught Draco in surprise to feel Hermione's hand moving his back up and down to soothe his coughing. He relaxed at once when another coughing sound came off him.
"Draco, I'll just get a glass of water. Please stay here"
Hermione didn't need Draco to stop her. She knew when an illness was in need of care.
While Draco sat on the bench, he watched Hermione leave as he flinched over the words that he didn't want to hear from her. Never did he want to hear Hermione plead.
Hermione came back with a glass of water and handed it kindly to Draco. Draco took it generously and drank most of its contents.
"Thanks Hermione"
Silence.
"Draco, is there something you wish to tell me?"
"There are so many things I want to tell you but I could only wish to have an eternity to tell you about it"
Draco's voice was firm. That firmness was the one that Hermione learned to fear all through her Hogwarts days.
"Perhaps you could start now", said Hermione in her usual angelic tone that soothed Draco's tensed nerves. Draco looked up at her again and smiled. He wanted everything of Hermione---how her hair would flow beautifully down to her slim waist, how her eyes shined through the morning light, how her lips would move to every word she said. . . and just everything.
"I---I, I don't know where to start exactly"
"Um, Hogwarts", suggested Hermione.
"Uh, okay then. You very well know that *cough* we had something else back in Hogwarts other than hate for each other and all those while we believed we did hate each other. . . and *cough* and we came up with a conclusion we were just forced to something that other people were accustomed to do like my father disgracing muggleborns and Potter and Weasley hating me. It was all dictated to us and I don't know. I guess we just wasted our time over that"
"Yeah, I must agree"
"And that THING happened. You know, I was totally sorry for that. I haven't lived over it until now. . . and I feel like I'm totally responsible for anything that's to happen with you---like there's this certain bond that connects us after that incident. Like I feel that I should take care of you after Hogwarts days no matter what in fear of what could have happened and what else could happen. . ."
"That's so sweet Draco." Hermione smiled. A serene smile that pierced Draco's heart the more that he gazed upon it.
"And *cough* I do want to take care of you Hermione. I want to see you every single day of my life. . . I want to make sure you're doing great. Well *cough* I just want to tell you that I still love you Hermione. . ."
Silence.
Hermione took Draco in a warm embrace. Though hesitant at first, the warmth that Draco felt made him hold Hermione back in his arms, with his eyes tightly shut. How good it feels to have her back in my arms, he thought as he reminisced the moment.
"Hermione, I don't want to let go", said Draco in a gentler voice.
Silence. . . and broke it was Hermione's reply. "I'm not letting go"
In the peaceful union came a sob. "Hermione, I don't want to let you go. . . not now, nor ever. . . but I have to. You have to let go Hermione. . ." Draco was crying.
Hermione felt a painful twinge in her heart. This can't be serious. . .Hermione convinced herself. She admitted to herself that she loved Draco as well. She was willing to share the rest of her life with him. . .how could he just tell her he loves her and then take it back by commanding her to let go? "Draco, I will never let you go. Not now when I've found you at last. . . I've tried to know where you were but only saw myself failing at every attempt. Your love made me alive Draco. . .you made me live"
Draco's sobs were getting harder and harder as it alternated with his throat burning in his coughs. He was holding Hermione tighter and tighter. "I don't want to let go Hermione. . . I'm afraid." He was trembling in Hermione's touch.
Hermione tried to fight back her tears. She could feel Draco's heart throbbing hard against her own fragile chest. "I love you Draco. . ."
At that, Draco pushed Hermione away. Hermione attempted to gather him back in her arms only that Draco's hands brushed hers off. "No! You can't love me Hermione!"
"Why not?" yelled Hermione whose tears had flown freely down her blushed cheeks.
Silence filled them again. When Draco's eyes met Hermione's again. "Because you can't love me. You shouldn't love me"
"Why! Tell me why!" screamed Hermione with her whole self. What could have been Draco talking about? She was willingly surrendering herself to him already and what's wrong?
"Because you should never give your heart to a dying man Hermione!" Draco yelled back. He fixed his gaze upon the ground and breathed hard.
Hermione was badly taken by shock. . . how could it be? Was Draco really dying? It must be a mistake, said Hermione to herself over and over in her mind.
"You are not dying Draco. . . please tell me you're not"
A painful throb hit Draco at the spot. Hermione was pleading again. How hard it was for him to hear the word again. 'Please. . .' ---a word that never suited Hermione, Draco convinced himself.
"I am Hermione, and nothing's going to stop that from happening. I will *cough* die soon and *cough* I didn't want to tell you about it but since *cough* you've pushed me to tell *cough* you, I did. . . besides, I think you deserve *cough* to know. . . you have to let go *cough* of everything *cough* that holds me to you. . . that's why you shouldn't *cough* love me. . ."
Draco had stopped crying. He found himself going back to the time when he was still at his car watching Hermione so happy only to cause her sorrow at that moment.
"It's still curable, now is it? If muggle doctors can't cure it, I could accompany you to Madam Pomfrey at Hogwarts. She could help", mouthed Hermione in desperation she never felt before.
"There's no cure to my illness Hermione. I got it from my family. . . I've tried asking Madam Pomfrey about it last year and---"
"Last year? You knew then that you were sick?"
"Yes. . . she was able to give me something that could delay it. . . *cough* but nothing could stop it. *cough* Perhaps that's the reason I was led here. . . I had to tell you and perhaps too it's happening soon and I won't have the time to tell you *cough* about it some other time. . ."
"Don't talk as if it's coming soon Draco. . . please. . ."
How painful it was for Draco to hear Hermione plead again. But he felt comfort when Hermione took him in an embrace. Hermione held him tighter than he did.
Their eyes were both closed. . . not one wanted to live another moment without the other. . . but then. . .
"Draco. . . I'm going to miss you. . . but not now. Please don't leave me now. Give me some time to be with you. Please?"
"Not now Hermione. . . later. . ."
At that, Hermione bawled like a child. "No Draco! Not later! Tell me it's not going to happen today!"
Draco smiled. . .
"Do you love me Hermione?" asked the beautiful man with much calmness that Hermione feared.
"Yes Draco. . . I do love you"
"I love you too. . ."
Draco pulled away and led his lips towards Hermione and kissed her tenderly. Her lips were already red from her biting them to fight of her sobs. She did nothing more than to return the divine kisses that Draco gave her. . .
His hands traveled to her warm cheeks and continued to taste more of her sweet lips. He licked the bottom lip to gain access through Hermione and she did comply by opening her mouth slowly. The moment she did, Draco didn't waste time and so kissed Hermione hungrily, bringing her back into a tight embrace. He was crazed. . . mad. . . he knew it was coming soon. . .
"I love you Hermione, I---" whispered Draco in between kisses only to be silenced by another kiss by Hermione.
Their tongue were dancing to the rhythm of their heartbeats when a along came another cough from Draco that burst in Hermione's mouth.
"I'm sorry. . ." was all Draco said as he pulled away completely and excused himself from coughing again.
He was madly exerting effort to fight it all off. . . what he didn't know was what Hermione discovered.
Hermione had her finger touch the side of her lips and found it wet on that spot. When she took it into view, she saw blood tainting the tip of her finger. "Draco. . ."
What Draco heard was the thing that pushed him to run off. He stood from where he sat and immediately turned his heels back outside the Granger residence. Hermione wasn't to be stopped by what she saw on her fingers and soon followed Draco.
Hermione was running with her tears running over her skin. . . Draco was almost at the door when he stopped at another set of whooping coughs. He was trying to catch his breaths only to find himself weak---that he collapsed on the floor with his mind in a daze. . .
No, no, no. . . you can't let Hermione see you in that form. . .
Next to him was the agonized Hermione, trying to pat him awake. "Draco, wake up! Could you hear me?"
"Hermione, Hermione. . . you amaze me"
"Draco, I'm taking you to the hospital, just you wait here okay?"
A hand stopped Hermione from standing up from her knees. "No, Hermione. There's no time. . . just stay here with me. That'd do good"
"Draco. . ."
Hermione took Draco's head against her bosom and let him rest against it. She had him in her arms and she savoured the moment that he was still there. . . she knew everything that Draco was trying to say. . . it was coming. . . coming all too soon.
"Hermione, a Gryffindor is brave, loyal and strong. . . that's exactly *cough* you. . ."
"Perhaps you don't know me quite well Draco. . . I'm not brave. I'm not strong. All you find in me is loyalty. . . I couldn't be brave or strong right now. Not when I see you like this"
"Like this Hermione? What's this?"
"You suffering. . . you leaving me behind"
"But Hermione, this suffering is nothing to what I've caused you. . . and no, I'm not leaving you. . .I'll be here no matter what"
Hermione took Draco's cold-stricken hands in hers. "Please know that I love you Draco"
"And I do too. . . and I'm glad that I've the chance to tell you what I wanted. . . Death sure does it makes it way to us dying men. . .it let me see you one last time. . ."
A squeeze came off Hermione's tensed fingers. Draco's squeezed her fingers back. "Draco, did you know that it's to happen now?"
"No. . . not when I just saw a plain house outside. . . not until I saw you walk down the garden. It's the sight of you that told me it was the end"
Silence.
"How?"
"I've heard people telling me that an ethereal being shall meet you before you'd die. . . it will take you to Death's embrace. . . and it would be the last thing you'll see. . . she will end your suffering. . . she will never want to see you suffer and just wish to give you peace. . ."
Hermione cried more and more. Draco was actually describing her by how he stated it.
"And now, I've seen you at last, without knowing how I came here and why I was driving miles away from home towards nowhere only to find myself here. .. in your embrace. . . and I find you as the last thing that I'd see. . . in your arms all my pain will vanish and no pain shall win over me as in your embrace, I will find my peace. . ."
"I'm not an angel Draco. . . I'm just me. I'm just Hermione. . ."
"But you are Hermione. . . and how am I so glad to see you now. . . to see that I'm in love with an angel who will bring me to my peace at last. . ."
Whooping coughs came in between them and seconds after Draco found his resolve, he smiled, with blood at the corner of his lips.
"Thank you Hermione. . . thank you for loving me. . ."
"Should you really leave now?" asked Hermione more firmly. She knew well it was coming.
"No time is better than now. . . Hermione, just hold me. . . please. . ."
To what Draco didn't know that it was more dreadful to have Hermione hear a dying man plead. She was left with no other choice. No other chance to tell Draco everything but that small time left. . .
Against her humble chest came against Draco's firm one with slowing breathing and hastened heartbeats. His face too peaceful that it hurt Hermione more than she could have imagined.
Hermione, tell him now. . .
Draco opened his eyes, no more coughs. No more distraught and sorrow in his senses. Just the serenity he long wanted to have. "Do you love me Hermione?"
"Yes, yes Draco! I love you!"
"So continue breathing when I'm away. I will live with you. You will be reminded of my presence everyday until I meet you again. I'm sorry it had to come to this. I didn't want you to see me die. . . but I guess I have no other choice but surrender to your arms right now. Hermione, promise me you won't cry. . . please. . ."
"I can't. . ."
Draco nodded. "I understand"
"No you don't", said Hermione firmly. No fear. No anguish left. Just her motivation to get one thing across Draco. . .
Draco laughed. "Hermione, this is not the time to be a hard-headed little girl. Don't snap at me now. I don't have much time to snap back at you"
"I can't do what you ask me to do. And yes perhaps you have left a mark with me wherever I go. You've left me something that's yours. . ."
"If you want me to take my love back, then I will", teased Draco though he felt his life being taken away slowly.
As if he was chased after, Draco's breathing became more intense and deep that he never had the chance to hear Hermione's gasps between his ragged breathing.
"Draco, wait. Don't die just yet, I'm not through talking!" screamed Hermione in panic.
And as if he obeyed, Draco's breathing became slow, deep and calm---as if allowing a bit of time for Hermione to speak.
"Draco, you've left me with a child. . ." said Hermione's agonized voice as it broke to her pearl-like tears again flowing over her skin.
With one last look, Draco's eyes smiled at her, just as his perfect lips did. His weight bored onto Hermione. . . then his lips formed into a smirk. Hermione loved that smirk.
Then with one last breath, Draco tried to scream Hermione's name only to be held back with the lack of air. He lost it in Hermione's arms, with the most beautiful smile that Hermione's ever seen. . .
. . . too peaceful. . .
. . .too sorrowful. . .
. . .both at the same time. . .
~Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns characters, setting, etc. Except: the plot is mine.~
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nah, I was just taken away by the music I have on my pc. It's too sad. So anyway, please review. I found myself displeased with this. I couldn't write it the way I wanted to. Perhaps I will edit it some other time soon or have another ending to this. I have something in my mind though I haven't figured out how it would fit so then I'd leave this to that for now. Thanks for reading by the way!