Talker
Disclaimer: This Creepypasta is in no way sponsored or affiliated with Ford, the owner of the Crown Victoria, Taurus, and Explorer, or Mercury, the owner of the Grand Marquis.
Somewhere in Texas, there is a small, abandoned office building. If you, the reader, wish to visit this place, you will have to follow a bunch of specific instructions, and if you don't, you will still be able to visit, but you won't last for long after that.
First, you must do is rent a black Ford Crown Victoria from any rental agency in the city you live in. Where you rent it doesn't matter, in layman's terms. But the Crown Victoria aspect is important. If it's not black, this won't work. If it is any other car, you won't be allowed onto the premises. And if the car is a Mercury Grand Marquis, a car made under Ford's subdivision that is a Crown Victoria for Mercury, you will wish you rented the Vic. You will find the Crown Victoria is more expensive to rent, but as people say, a life is priceless.
Second, take the Crown Victoria and take it to a secluded area in the woods. I can assure you that no harm will come to you. Just trust me. Please. Turn the engine off and just sit there and wait. The wait time is always different, but the time should never go over an hour. In that timeframe, you aren't limited to a sitting-perfectly-still-or-you-die scenario. Go on your phone, play some games, stretch, talk a walk. Just don't stray too far from the car. Just whatever you do, DON'T turn the engine on until the next event happens. If you do turn the engine on, you will find yourself back in your house in bed. You would have never rented the car when you get out of bed. All your work would be for naught.
Third, you will know your wait is over when a police car comes up behind you with its lights on. It will be a black unmarked Taurus. If it is NOT a Taurus, quickly start the engine and drive away as fast and as safe as possible, especially if it is a red Ford Explorer. After you think you outran the car, pull over to the shoulder and repeat the second step's instructions. If it IS a Taurus however, just sit there, and the officer will walk up to your window. It will always be a female, but other than that she will always look different. She will instruct you to roll down your window, and after you do so, she will ask you to step out of the car, and she WILL detain you for several minutes as she searches the car. Don't worry, this is all part of the process. She will then release you from the handcuffs and when you get back to your car, which was obscured by your view by the windshield, which will be foggy, you will see it now resembles an unmarked police car. You must get back into your car, and the officer will start driving. You must follow her, and she may or may not use the sirens, but if she does, turn on your sirens. Just follow her for as long as she takes. This leads on to the fourth step.
Fourth, when you reach the premises, which will be indicated when the officer stops, wait in your car. You will notice the officer will park her car in a defensive stance, using it as a shield for any hypothetical incoming bullets. Park your car behind her car in a similar fashion and reach into the glove box. There will be a pistol there. Take it. It will be fully loaded. Follow the officer into the abandoned building and draw your gun. You will find you will expertly hold the gun, even if you've never touched a gun in your life. Now, make sure the officer ALWAYS stays in your view. If she isn't visible in your field of vision, even for a minute… Well, I'll save that for later. Anyways, when you guys are done sweeping the building, you will be warped back to the reception desk at the rental agency you were renting the Vic at. When you will be warped, you will find that the receptionist is about to ask you what car you want. Ask for the car that you drive (as in say, "I want my car") and you will be warped again into the driver's seat of your car. Drive home, and then you have completed the ritual. Now let me move on to what happens if the officer leaves your line of sight.
If the officer leaves your line of sight, even for a minute, you will be warped directly to your house. However, within an hour, two police officers, both of which will be male, will arrest you and take you back to the abandoned office building. Well, it really wasn't an officer building. It was an abandoned police station. They'll interrogate you for hours on end about the mysterious murder of an officer, the same officer who swept the building with you in the previous steps. And uh, to put it simply, their interrogation tactics are rather… Questionable.
Hope you're a smooth talker.